First timers!

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First timers!

Postby Sarahnseth2018 » Wed Jun 22, 2022 10:14 am

Hi everyone! We will be at desire RM. Any tips or suggestions would be helpful. Does everyone go all out on theme nights? Erotic massage experiences/feedback? And how do the playrooms work with bringing toys? I feel like I have more questions but I’ll start with these lol. I’m excited, anxious, nervous, curious…..all the above lol. Any thoughts or opinions would be great! Desire here we come! ;)
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Re: First timers!

Postby gaviao » Wed Jun 22, 2022 11:00 am

Hi!
Your doubts and questions are too broad. It is very difficult to give an adequate answer; I suggest you go in parts, with more specific questions. Take in mind that, in our case, the first time we went to Desire, not only were we newbies, but the resort was too (it was in the opening week, in May 2003!) Things have evolved and changed since then, but I can tell you that Desire is a great place for any open-minded couple, no matter if they are not into the lifestyle.

Some quick responses in our opinion, that I will expand if you want:

Theme nights: Try to participate every night, remember in clothing issue, less is best.
Erotic massage: It's not worth the price you pay, there are other better options.
Playroom/toys: Playroom is great! We are hardly fond on toys, some people use them and it's not just acceptable, but attractive.

Leave the anxiety in your hometown,
Take advantage of every minute that you will be in Desire, do not waste time.
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Re: First timers!

Postby gaviao » Thu Jun 23, 2022 3:16 pm

I've sent you a long message by PM, (check your Control Panel), in response to your email. It seems you don't have available the possibility of sending mails.

Regards
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Re: First timers!

Postby dhdez05 » Fri Jul 08, 2022 8:14 pm

We’re newbies to DRM and went to Pearl for the first time last year. We felt all the same emotions as you. Don’t forget to pack plenty of sunscreen. We noticed some people went all out with theme nights, others never participated. I say dress up if you can but don’t stress about it. The nights usually end with you stripping it all off anyway. We didn’t really utilize the playroom much. Most of the action at Pearl centered around the hot tub and the cabanas surrounding it. Excited to see how different this is at DRM.

One thing I wish we would have done last time was interact with others online ahead of the trip. Since it was our first time, we didn’t really know about the forums, We didn’t know anyone and (even though we’re not really introverts) the new experience took us some time to get used to. I felt we struggled a bit to meet people or for others to come talk to us. We’re trying to change that this time around.

Btw, we’re visiting DRM in Oct 2022 as well. Maybe we’ll see each other.
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Re: First timers!

Postby gaviao » Sat Jul 09, 2022 1:50 pm

Excited to see how different this is at DRM.


I think the vibe is much more intense in DRM, compared with Pearl.
People are more participatory and I think there is more erotic activity in public.

We didn’t really utilize the playroom much.


We don't like the Pearl's playroom; DRM's is much bigger and invites to visit it each night, at least for 15 or 20 minutes.
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Re: First timers!

Postby Ben_Anna » Thu Oct 13, 2022 3:01 pm

Does everyone go all out on theme nights?
- a few go all out and a few don't dress up at all. I like to do a "nod" to the theme that I can wear to dinner or only change for a couple nights. You do you.

Erotic massage experiences/feedback?
- We have never paid for a massage. I have heard great things about them. Honestly, if I want a massage, I would rather ask someone in the hot tub for one.

And how do the playrooms work with bringing toys?
- Bring toys, bring condoms. My hubby has a small special bag with a few necessities that he grabs from the room before we head to the disco. The playroom is in the back and if we end up there, then we have things. If not, we take it back home.

Have a great time!
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Re: First timers!

Postby Orcowboy » Mon Oct 17, 2022 7:19 pm

We go all out and a lot do. Missing a lot of fun if you don't, but don't feel like you have to if it isn't your thing.
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Re: First timers!

Postby nri953 » Fri Nov 25, 2022 6:10 am

My wife & I are coming to DRM in Dec '22. This will be our first time doing anything like this. We haven't even gone to a nude beach. My wife is allergic to condoms. She gets rashes inside her when I use condoms. Even if she is ready to have sex with other men while at DRM, is "not using condom" a "No No" ?
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Re: First timers!

Postby nokidclub » Fri Nov 25, 2022 8:09 am

nri953 wrote:My wife & I are coming to DRM in Dec '22. This will be our first time doing anything like this. We haven't even gone to a nude beach. My wife is allergic to condoms. She gets rashes inside her when I use condoms. Even if she is ready to have sex with other men while at DRM, is "not using condom" a "No No" ?


Not necessarily. It’s just something that you will need to negotiate with any potential play partners. Even if others aren’t Ok with that, there is still the option of soft swapping.

As a side note, we had similar issues with condors, but after switching to non-latex varieties (such as Skyn), those issues have gone away. May want to consider those if you haven’t tried them already.
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Re: First timers!

Postby jandr1013 » Fri Nov 25, 2022 1:56 pm

nokidclub wrote:
nri953 wrote:My wife & I are coming to DRM in Dec '22. This will be our first time doing anything like this. We haven't even gone to a nude beach. My wife is allergic to condoms. She gets rashes inside her when I use condoms. Even if she is ready to have sex with other men while at DRM, is "not using condom" a "No No" ?


Not necessarily. It’s just something that you will need to negotiate with any potential play partners. Even if others aren’t Ok with that, there is still the option of soft swapping.


Yeah, either way you go, it's about setting boundaries for yourself, and communicating them clearly to potential partners. You could say "If you insist on using a condom, then we're not able to go beyond oral", or if you find a type that works for you, "we are allergic to most condoms, so we only have sex with (x brand). We've brought extras, but if you don't like them, we can't have sex", or "we insist on condoms for (x, y, z) acts. If you don't want to wear one, then we don't have to play".

The question of what other people's boundaries and comfort level are will probably change as guests come and go. My impression has been that different regions/clubs/house parties may have different assumed cultures, and so if everyone's from a different place, it's good to have that discussion. You can also talk about your last STI test and results, birth control if not using condoms, etc. Personally I've found that it's worth having these discussions as you're there for days, if you take 3 minutes up front, everything and everyone will still be there. Those up front discussions are also good to ask if your new partner has any specific preferences, e.g. rough/gentle, what to listen for if they're having a good time, etc. Some people get very loud, and others go quiet when they're having a very good time, and you don't want to stop what you're doing because you got those signals wrong.
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