Nervous Newbie Questions

[J&H]

This will be our first time at this resort. We did vacation at Temptation and were upgraded to Desire Pearl for our last night. I have a few questions about Desire RM and am looking for any and all feedback. Looking froward to meeting cool people and having a fabulous vacation!!

Here come my questions...

What is the dinner attire for men and women?I have a few dresses but am curious what others will be wearing. Also want to know what the guys wear. What do guys wear on the theme nights? Unwanted advances for me and my man? Will we be treated differently if we aren't in the lifestyle?

Thanks!

[CoupleInMD]

What is the dinner attire for men and women?I have a few dresses but am curious what others will be wearing. Also want to know what the guys wear. What do guys wear on the theme nights? Unwanted advances for me and my man? Will we be treated differently if we aren't in the lifestyle?

Mr. CoupleInMD here. We had our first trip to DRM back in October. Here's what I can recall.

For the women, dress is generally nice, sexy evening-wear, but you can go quite a bit more sexy at the resort than you can out in the regular world. Where's the line, you may ask? I did not see any women attempt to come to dinner dressed only in lingerie, but I read in another thread here that a woman was turned away from dinner when she arrived in lingerie only. But I can tell you first-hand that women have been seated for dinner wearing fairly sheer dresses. I dressed for dinner in long pants, a collared shirt, and loafers each night.

For theme nights, many guys (maybe two-thirds?) do not change from their dinner attire- which is kind of a shame. For my part, I dressed according to the theme, with the proviso that my "costume" be generally as skimpy as possible. We both had fun with that, and my sometimes-ridiculous attire was a great conversation-starter!

You will meet all kinds of friendly people at DRM. Your fellow guests will probably include everything from full-on lifestyle people, to nudists who like the sexy vibe but have no intention of swapping partners, and lots in between. If you spend much time in conversation with lifestylers (and you probably will!), you will likely be asked at some point whether you are in the lifestyle, or some similar kind of question. And that should be the full extent of the advances made on you, unless you indicate an interest in partaking in lifestyle activities. Now that said, you'll want to know that the hot tub is a place for flirty fun, and from time to time people may be sliding by in close quarters to get to the wade-up bar. But if you are not looking for that kind of contact, it is easy to opt out.

In our week at DRM, we did not see anyone being treated differently because they were not in the lifestyle. We saw plenty of non-lifestyle couples at the resort, and saw no evidence of anybody being shunned or ostracized due to their non-lifestyle preference. As just one personal example that we can give, we as confirmed lifestylers were friendly with several non-lifestyle couples- and keep up a running pen-pal relationship with one of those couples in particular. Desire is a friendly, open, and non-judge mental place!

Have fun on your trip!

CoupleInMD

[SJCrazy]

Dinner attire for men is roughly business casual; slacks and dressy nice shirt are fine. For dinner women can wear pretty much anything, and most wear very little; theoretically you have to wear something, but body paint qualifies as something and we've seen a few women at dinner wearing nothing but paint and skin.

Disco and theme night attire is another animal. Some women wear their theme outfit to dinner, but I'd say most change in between (the body-paint girls being the obvious exception!). Most women dress for theme nights. I'd say 30-60% of men participate in the theme, depending on the night and the crowd. Attire can vary wildly, with some couples going way over-the-top and others just giving a nod to the night's theme, but the more people that participate the more fun it is for everyone. There's no reason to feel self-conscious about it, people will appreciate and enjoy your participation.

Lifestyle/swinger status is a continuum, not an on/off switch. Many people in our society would say any voyeurism/exhibitionism is engaging in a swinging activity- I'd say almost all couples at Desire do at least one of those. There are also couples that sometimes f**k lots of people all the time every way, and there's everything in between. Whatever you choose to do is your business and yours alone, and everyone is friendly and fun regardless.

I'm guessing the nudity is a non-issue for you since you didn't ask about it? It really always ends up being a non-issue for everyone anyways