Wife has concerns

[Mis T]

My wife and I are 37yo and 35yo. Melissa was very hesitant about going at first. I told her that we would only do things that make her feel comfortable. At first she wouldn't even take off her top. By day two she was setting up soft swaps with other couples (never did anything like this back home)! It was intense and I could hardly keep up. Let your wife control the vacation and you will have a great time. The women dictate everything that happens at this place, so get used to it... you are just there for the ride. If nothing happens, you will still have tons of fun hanging around naked with everyone! No guys are gonna grab or touch your wife (unless you and her give permission). Everyone is very nice and respects any boundaries you set.

Totally agree !!!

[35leo]

Wow, thanks for all the great perspectives from everyone... Drleen, I think your experience most closely resembles ours with both of us having high stress jobs being small business owners, throw in a couple of kids, and life in general and it is hard to imagine a completely relaxing vacation, but it sounds like desire is a good fit... for whatever we desire. as quite a few of you have mentioned you started off with the 2 night stay, then 4, etc... I think this is a good starting point for us as well (baby steps are better than no steps!!!) plus we have talked about it a little more, and it looks like we are a go for the vanilla stay... and then the 2 night visit to Desire

thanks to all that responded to my questions, and your responses just further the idea that desire and its patriots are truly what make it such a special place-

[davetamm]

Your last sentence is the reason you will say after your 2 days at desire " I wished we would have spent the first 2 days here"....2 days at desire go by way to fast. Have fun....

[Travelcouple89]

Your last sentence is the reason you will say after your 2 days at desire " I wished we would have spent the first 2 days here"....2 days at desire go by way to fast. Have fun....

I believe you will be wishing you spent your whole vacation at Desire. 2 days will be gone in no time.

[brotherjump1]

Your last sentence is the reason you will say after your 2 days at desire " I wished we would have spent the first 2 days here"....2 days at desire go by way to fast. Have fun....

I believe you will be wishing you spent your whole vacation at Desire. 2 days will be gone in no time.

We're arriving 7/21 also. Our first time doing ANYTHING LIKE THIS. Neither of us wants to start "the lifestyle" at home but we've discussed it and we are open to whatever happens during our week at Desire. We're both 53 and we want to do this while we're still sexy!

[Travelcouple89]

Your last sentence is the reason you will say after your 2 days at desire " I wished we would have spent the first 2 days here"....2 days at desire go by way to fast. Have fun....

I believe you will be wishing you spent your whole vacation at Desire. 2 days will be gone in no time.

We're arriving 7/21 also. Our first time doing ANYTHING LIKE THIS. Neither of us wants to start "the lifestyle" at home but we've discussed it and we are open to whatever happens during our week at Desire. We're both 53 and we want to do this while we're still sexy!

With that approach I believe you'll have a great time. Just jump in with both feet and have the time of your lives!

[Cpl du Nord]

Wow, thanks for all the great perspectives from everyone... Drleen, I think your experience most closely resembles ours with both of us having high stress jobs being small business owners, throw in a couple of kids, and life in general and it is hard to imagine a completely relaxing vacation, but it sounds like desire is a good fit... for whatever we desire. as quite a few of you have mentioned you started off with the 2 night stay, then 4, etc... I think this is a good starting point for us as well (baby steps are better than no steps!!!) plus we have talked about it a little more, and it looks like we are a go for the vanilla stay... and then the 2 night visit to Desire

thanks to all that responded to my questions, and your responses just further the idea that desire and its patriots are truly what make it such a special place-

You will have a fantastic time. My guess is next time you will skip the baby steps of 4 night stay, then a five night stay, and go directly to a minimum of a week. However you do it, have fun. And goldfish1 has it right, she makes the rules. As I said in my trip report, "If she's having fun and you're not, you're still having way more fun than if you're having fun and she's not."

[Windynkansas1]

My Wife and did the same thing on our first trip. We wanted to go to the vanilla resort first but we couldn't get rooms when we wanted. SO we started with Desire and never left. used out travel insurance to cancel the other hotel and staid the whole week a Desire.

[ksr]

Same, same for us. June at Pearl was the first time for EVERYTHING, except a vacation. We're book for RM in Aug and both looking forward to finishing what we started.

[pittfans1987]

Wife here, must say we LOVE RM. Went August of '14 for our first time. Only a short time in the lifestyle so we were a little nervous as well as excited. We both wore our suits the first day there. After our first full day we felt like we had been going there forever. Never put our suits on again the whole trip. Everyone there made us feel welcome and NEVER once did we feel pressured to do anything. As for the jacuzzi we went up one night but it just wasn't our thing. No big deal. The night club on the other hand is our favorite! I LOVE to dance so for me its a place to just be myself. Which is basically how the whole resort is!! We are now planning out next trip for June/July of '16. Can't wait!! Counting the days!!

[bigdaddy]

My perspective on Desire and that it is a relaxing place to reconnect with the spouse. I think she believes I want to take her to an all day and night swing-fest which she just isn't comfortable with (although I have told her I have no intentions on jumping into the lifestyle, even though we have role-played the scenario on more than one occasion!) . she is warming up to the idea of a two day excursion to Desire while visiting a vanilla resort elsewhere in Cancun. any thoughts on explaining the whole mood of the place to her to gain a little more of her confidence that it can be a place just about the two of us... and hopefully making friends along the way is an added bonus. I have told her we should jump in now before we are 10-15 years down the road and wish we had started going sooner (35 now).

any thoughts or advice from Desire veterans would be appreciated. and thanks again for the trip report... it seems like too long ago that a new one was posted!

TRUST ME...you do what you want, when you want, with whom you want. If you spent the entire time there just sunning and enjoying your SO, nobody would mention a word, and you'd be none the wiser about what they did on their own. The entire place is so laid back...no pressure at all except from the VERY rare pushy people, ut you find that anywhere. 95% GREAT people.

[desireaddict]

95% GREAT people.

That's a very low estimate of the "great people".
Only a very occasional person who is a problem.

Life is Good!
DA

[bbrz2]

NY couple here- We are almost 50, ouchie !!! and made our first trip to DP in February. We wished we had come sooner, but just to give you an idea that DP is incredible and worthy of many visits. Up until about one month before we left, my wife was only going to wear 1 piece bathing suits and not visit the jacuzzi. As time drew near she changed her mind and brought 2 piece suits-- once we walked on the property and she saw that there was not a never ending sex party she was at ease and by day two having the time of her life. Nude and in the jacuzzi--- Oh the Disco was also loads of fun for us !!!!

What "tspad" said. Other resorts are still fun for us, but the vacation fun get taken up several notches at Desire.