Our first trip and so excited!!

This is the place for general questions / general discussion about Desire Riviera Maya

Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby E&J » Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:14 pm

My wife and I (both 27) are booking a trip to celebrate our 5 year anniversary and are extremely excited. We’ve been talking and fantasizing about this for a while now and are definitely a little nervous because we’ve only ever had sex with each other and haven’t even been to any sort of nude beach environment. We’ve had an active and fulfilling (though very vanilla) sex life throughout our 9 years together, but we recently discovered that we both share LS oriented fantasies and immediately our sex life took off in a way that shocked us both. In the span of about a week, after lots of time spent reading trip reports, and other posts on here and the r/swingers subreddit, we’ve decided to jump into the deep end and book the trip!

Our plan right now is to go without expectations and make sure we just focus on each other to start and get comfortable being naked and sexual around others, but we are also excited to take small steps towards playing with others and have been talking in depth about our communication/consent plans to make sure we evaluate how we feel after each small step. The fantasies and our imaginations have been the hottest experiences we’ve ever had, but we’re trying to be realistic and prepare that we may feel differently once it all becomes real, and if we’re not as comfortable as we hope we are that we’ll be happy enjoying each other in a beautiful and sexy environment. If things go well, though, we’re pretty sure we can see ourselves at least soft swapping (maybe more if things go really well!).

We’ve searched the forum and found answers to some of our questions but had a few others we’d love some input on:

- What days of the week are most common for new arrivals so we can come in with a wave of other people to maximize chances of getting to know people throughout the week?

- We’ve heard different weeks may have groups that “take over” the resort that may skew younger or older than normal—is there a way to know if the dates were looking at are scheduled for a takeover like this? Are there any other age related trends based on dates to arrive (we know the average age will be older than we are and we aren’t intimidated by that and are actually excited to see people older and more experienced than us, but it would be great to find a handful of people closer to our age as well.

- Do people ever take cabs offsite for dinners at outside nice restaurants?

- Any recommendations for cheap nearby hotels we can stay in the night before our arrival day to get the most out of our first day?

- what is acceptable tipping amount for bartenders/playmakers/other staff? Do people tip upfront, throughout the trip, or at the end?

- what’s the best way to connect with couples who will be there at the same time? Once we know our exact dates we will post in the roll call thread but not sure how the interactions continue from there. We’re not really comfortable with making specific plans with others since we want to feel comfortable to move at our own pace without expectations but would also love to have some familiar faces when we arrive.

- Based on your individual experiences, If/when we feel comfortable to start playing, will more experienced lifestylers typically be willing to spend time with newbies like us on baby steps? Or are newbies usually supposed to go slow with other newbies while the more experienced people go at their own pace with others? (Hope this question makes sense, sorry if it doesn’t but we’re both nervous/excited and are trying to get as much info about what to expect as we can).

Thanks for reading and can’t wait for this experience! As long as things go well we will probably post a trip report once we get back. Looking forward to reading your responses together.
E&J
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:35 am
We are from: USA
Will be at: Desire Riviera Maya

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby CokeMann » Mon Feb 10, 2020 5:29 pm

E&J wrote:- What days of the week are most common for new arrivals so we can come in with a wave of other people to maximize chances of getting to know people throughout the week?

Just like any other resort in the area, the majority tend to arrive Thursday thru Sunday

- Do people ever take cabs offsite for dinners at outside nice restaurants?

Generally no, since the nearest upscale restaurants are in Cancun or Playa del Carmen (about a 40 min cab ride and about $50 usd - each way) If you are looking for connections with other guests much of this happen over dinners at the resort ;)

- Any recommendations for cheap nearby hotels we can stay in the night before our arrival day to get the most out of our first day?

If you come in late the day before your actual booking date, many use the Airport Marriott
User avatar
CokeMann
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4380
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:00 am
Location: Toronto, Ontario
We are from: Canada

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby E&J » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:19 pm

Thanks for the info!!

- Do people ever take cabs offsite for dinners at outside nice restaurants?

Generally no, since the nearest upscale restaurants are in Cancun or Playa del Carmen (about a 40 min cab ride and about $50 usd - each way) If you are looking for connections with other guests much of this happen over dinners at the resort ;)


That’s a great point—I hadn’t thought about that. There’s an incredible Thai place about 20 minutes north I was at last time I was in Cancun but the connections at dinner would probably be more important!
E&J
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:35 am
We are from: USA
Will be at: Desire Riviera Maya

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby CokeMann » Mon Feb 10, 2020 7:09 pm

E&J wrote:There’s an incredible Thai place about 20 minutes north I was at last time I was in Cancun but the connections at dinner would probably be more important!

FYI - from DRM to the airport turnoff is approx 20 min - then onward from the airport turnoff to downtown Cancun(or the Hotel Zone) is another approx 20 min (all depending on traffic at the time of day) ;)
User avatar
CokeMann
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4380
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:00 am
Location: Toronto, Ontario
We are from: Canada

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby werfun » Mon Feb 10, 2020 8:32 pm

First off you are getting great. honest advice from Coke Mann and other Desire visitors that post on this forum.
Now if we may be bold enough to make several points. From reading your post you are 27 yo and married 5 years after being together for a total of 9 years, this means that you have together since you were 16/17 years old. Have either of you dated others before getting married. The reason that we are asking this is that being with others is exciting and fun but can you handle seeing your SO hugging other nude people when you haven't been with others before. A lot of people associate nude with sex even if it is just a kiss on the check. Just talking about it to each other at home is exciting and fun but to see it in real life can be a whole different experience.
As many others have posted on here, before you go Talk, Talk, Talk and Talk some more with each other about things that may or may not happen at Desire. It will not be a good trip if one or both of you get upset and mad at each other for some reason. The first couple of times that we played we were worried that we might lose each even though we had talked about many times before anything happened. It is just human nature for most to worry about things like this, so for first timers it is important to keep talking about it until the day that you leave for your trip.
Now for the question about age you will find that it is not a problem as for most it is not a problem.
Keep talking about a Desire trip and once both of you are on the same page you will have the vacation of your life and be thinking about when you can book another trip.
User avatar
werfun
Desire Legend
 
Posts: 598
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:00 am
Location: Hawaii
We are from: USA

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby E&J » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:01 pm

werfun wrote:First off you are getting great. honest advice from Coke Mann and other Desire visitors that post on this forum.
Now if we may be bold enough to make several points. From reading your post you are 27 yo and married 5 years after being together for a total of 9 years, this means that you have together since you were 16/17 years old. Have either of you dated others before getting married. The reason that we are asking this is that being with others is exciting and fun but can you handle seeing your SO hugging other nude people when you haven't been with others before. A lot of people associate nude with sex even if it is just a kiss on the check. Just talking about it to each other at home is exciting and fun but to see it in real life can be a whole different experience.
As many others have posted on here, before you go Talk, Talk, Talk and Talk some more with each other about things that may or may not happen at Desire. It will not be a good trip if one or both of you get upset and mad at each other for some reason. The first couple of times that we played we were worried that we might lose each even though we had talked about many times before anything happened. It is just human nature for most to worry about things like this, so for first timers it is important to keep talking about it until the day that you leave for your trip.
Now for the question about age you will find that it is not a problem as for most it is not a problem.
Keep talking about a Desire trip and once both of you are on the same page you will have the vacation of your life and be thinking about when you can book another trip.



E: Thanks for the great advice. Yes, we started dating at 18 years old and married at 22—my wife dated a few people in high school but nothing long term, while she is my one and only. Neither of us have slept with other people, and we have definitely been doing nothing in our spare time except talking about this, both from a fantasizing perspective to understand each other desires as well as from a non-sexual standpoint to try and figure out what we will truly be comfortable with and come up with rules, guidelines, and communication plans to protect our relationship above all else. This is a non negotiable as we explore whether the LS could enhance our relationship rather than hurt it (we both believe it can at this point as long as we approach it the right way and move at the pace of whoever needs to go the slowest.)

So far we have agreed that we will have no contact with anyone besides each other for at least the first day while we get used to being nude and being watched. From there, we plan on discussing how we feel about taking a baby step to hug/touch others, and only if we have met a couple that we are attracted to and feel comfortable with on a personal level. We’ve sort of built up a list of steps from there, going on to kissing, touching during parallel play, touching genitals, and soft swapping (oral) with the idea that each step we take needs to be both preceded and followed by a very honest conversation about how it made us feel. We’ve promised not to progress to another step in the heat of a moment, and that we’ll only move to the next one after agreeing that we both want to.

I know our rules and plans will continue to change as we talk more leading up to the trip, and we are very open to hearing input from others on what they think of our plan and any ways we can improve it.
E&J
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:35 am
We are from: USA
Will be at: Desire Riviera Maya

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby CokeMann » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:59 pm

I'll impart a synopsis of some simple tips for couples that have proved true over numerous trips to Desire since 2003
  • The ladies are always in charge
  • No means NO
  • Politeness, respect and communication are your tools for happiness.
You should, if haven't already, read this forum post
Aid to acclimate quickly, maximize enjoyment, reduce anxiety at Desire
User avatar
CokeMann
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4380
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:00 am
Location: Toronto, Ontario
We are from: Canada

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby E&J » Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:20 am

CokeMann wrote:I'll impart a synopsis of some simple tips for couples that have proved true over numerous trips to Desire since 2003
  • The ladies are always in charge
  • No means NO
  • Politeness, respect and communication are your tools for happiness.
You should, if haven't already, read this forum post
Aid to acclimate quickly, maximize enjoyment, reduce anxiety at Desire


We definitely read through that post and talked about each bullet point. J loves being in charge! :)
E&J
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2020 9:35 am
We are from: USA
Will be at: Desire Riviera Maya

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby twonewbs » Tue Feb 11, 2020 2:11 am

Hi there, I’ll try to answer a couple of your Q’s that haven’t been answered here:

E&J wrote:- what is acceptable tipping amount for bartenders/playmakers/other staff? Do people tip upfront, throughout the trip, or at the end?


When it comes to tipping, it depends of how often you interact with those from the staff who you wanna tip, how often they serve / help you. There are some who you will see on a daily basis, like waiters, bartenders, your maid, the guys who will set up the pool bed for you, etc. so you might wanna tip those for sure. Now, when it comes to the amount, it depends what you are comfortable with and it also won't hurt to do some research here as well to see what’s customary.

E&J wrote:- what’s the best way to connect with couples who will be there at the same time? Once we know our exact dates we will post in the roll call thread but not sure how the interactions continue from there. We’re not really comfortable with making specific plans with others since we want to feel comfortable to move at our own pace without expectations but would also love to have some familiar faces when we arrive.


I think you will find the best way to connect when you will be there rather than ahead of time through social media, IMO but of course it’s up to you. I’m sure you know that chemistry plays an important role too so my advice (or let's call it point of view) is, just be yourself, enjoy your partner and the rest will follow naturally. You’ll have many opportunities to meet many people, especially during day at the pool and jacuzzi.

Playing is thrilling, it’s exciting and all the LS rules are really great, wise and they are meant to enhance your relationship with your SO, but I think one thing that hasn’t really been discussed here is the risk of falling for someone else. Desire with it’s sexually charged atmosphere is the perfect environment for that and you guys are very young and like you said, you’ve never had sex with someone else so just keep in mind that there is always a chance that feelings might get involved, even if you are there for a pretty short period of time. I mean, of course, it’s easy to say, if something like that happens to any of you, you both just step back, end it right away and move on but your heart - or her heart - might lead in a different direction.. and then what? I hope that won’t happen to you because no one wants to get hurt and you don’t want your relationship to suffer either, but I feel it’s something that needs to also be discussed ahead of time.
I’m not an experienced LS-er, so I will end it here hoping you’ll get some good advice in this direction from some LS experts, because that’s probably the most difficult challenge that you might have to deal with when you play this kind of game.

Have lots of fun, and I’m looking forward to your trip report!
twonewbs
Desire Fan
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:04 pm
We are from: USA

Re: Our first trip and so excited!!

Postby TandD » Tue Feb 11, 2020 11:32 am

I don't think I saw this one addressed so I'll take a crack (based on somewhat limited first-hand data however)

E&J wrote:- Based on your individual experiences, If/when we feel comfortable to start playing, will more experienced lifestylers typically be willing to spend time with newbies like us on baby steps? Or are newbies usually supposed to go slow with other newbies while the more experienced people go at their own pace with others? (Hope this question makes sense, sorry if it doesn’t but we’re both nervous/excited and are trying to get as much info about what to expect as we can).


I'd say for the most part yes, experienced LS-ers are willing to take you by the hand, show you the ropes, and go at your own pace to the limits that you set. At least they can be and there's no reason to *avoid* engaging with with veterans for fear of wasting their time or whatever. Certainly, some might not be interested in investing the time and risk it might take to get you in bed but they won't be rude about it. They'll just move on politely and connect with someone else. There are a whole range of people with "more LS experience than you" - from just a tiny bit more to a whole lot more. A lot of the "whole lot more" are going to tend to find each other anyway so you are much more likely to intermingle with more of the "a little bit more than you" end and therefore the disparity in experience won't be as much.

All of that with a heaping disclaimer of "in general" and "from my perspective".
User avatar
TandD
Desire Legend
 
Posts: 1093
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:54 pm
Location: New England
We are from: USA
Will be at: Desire Pearl
We arrive on: 06 Jun 2019


Return to General Discussions about Desire Riviera Maya

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests