The apprehensive spouse

[Whoneedssunscreencpl]

We were recently asked about how a man might help his wife become comfortable with the idea of going to Desire instead of a more vanilla resort. We know it’s been discussed on the board before but since we were asked and since it’s an interesting topic to us, we thought we’d write about it again. There are probably plenty of potential Desire newbies reading the forum, too, and we don’t want anyone to miss out on what could be the best vacation of their lives.

About us: We are heading to Desire Cancun for the second time in May. Previously we had also been to Desire Cabo once (before it became Temptation--bleh!). We are not lifestylers but have found over time that we really do enjoy the sexy atmosphere at Desire and it adds a real kick to our vacations which lasts at home through memories and plans for future trips.

From Mrs. Whoneedssunscreen:

Prior to a few years ago, I had never been to a nude or topless resort and would definitely have characterized myself as a reluctant/apprehensive spouse but I have changed my opinion over time. I’d advise the inquiring husband of a few things. First of all, it might take your wife a long time and even several trips before she’s truly comfortable at the same level that you are. You also need to remember that she may never get there. If you have a good marriage (and I would add that I think you should not go to Desire unless your marriage is already excellent), you will already know that accepting her and her feelings is crucial, especially accepting that she may not always share your feelings. With this kind of vacation as with all marital decisions, from whether to move to a new city or to have another child, the partner who does not want to make the leap needs to retain the veto power.

For me, it took several trips to get me to the level of comfort I currently enjoy. It was most helpful when I did not feel pressured by Hub and when he let me set the pace for what I wanted to do or not do. The minute he’d lapse into “Please take your top off!â€

[ourfuntrip]

I don't think you can talk someone into going to Desire who truly doesn't want to go. If your wife is considering it, or trying to decide, I would encourage her to just do it! We have been 3 times and are planning our 4th trip for this year. Once you go, you will be addicted! It is such a wonderful place for a couple to connect on an intimate level. I remember spending alone time on the jacuzzi beds in the afternoon - no one else was around, the warm sun on us, a cold beer in hand, just blue sky, cool breezes and quiet. Where else can you do that? You can't get that intimacy at any other resort. You soon realize that everyone is nude, and no one really cares (they care, but no one will be "gawking" at you )

We went to Hedo before Desire (having previously only been to a local nude club and beach in Hawaii). My husband wanted to go and I agreed, not really sure what to expect (I was only comfortable enough to go topless at the nude beach, and only after having been there all day). When we got to Hedo, the clothes came off and we never looked back. There is something so relaxing about a nude vacation! Like your wife said, everyone there is nude and there are people of different shapes and sizes and everyone is so comfortable about it. You really don't even think about being nude.

Another reason we love Desire is how friendly everyone is. If you are worried about the idea of being "hit on", don't. People are very respectful and we have never had anyone "cross the line" in any way. If for any reason something is going on that you aren't comfortable with, then walk away and go for a walk on the beach. There is not a lot that happens during the day to offend (unless the sexy pool games offend you).

It is nice to have the option of the excitement and activity that goes on at the pool, or the quiet of the beach. The disco is a lot of fun for us and if your wife wants to dress up, this is the place to do it. For me, it is empowering to put on these sexy outfits I would never wear anywhere but the bedroom, to the disco in Mexico. I never thought I would be doing so, but here I am.

Reading the forums here is helpful to know what to expect. I would also encourage you to join up with a group going at the same time to have a chance to talk with some people before hand that will be there at the same time.

I say, do not try to force the issue. Your wife needs to decide for herself. But my vote is to say yes, and I would be happy to share my experiences or answer any questions for anyone who has not been and is considering it.

[jam]

Our prior experience had been a nudist resort. Nothing like Desire. We aren't swingers but do like to play a little if the situation is right. No swapping.

First night we visited hot tub but didn't go in because M thought it too crowded. Temporary disco didn't do much for us that night or the other two nights.

Our second day we really settled in and got our bearings. This time we hit the hot tub just as the crowd was piling in. The next couple of hours were really the highlight of the trip. Wow! We met a woman who opened the doors for us, so to speak. Women were getting doused in chocolate syrup and M, to my amazement joined the fun. Ping pong balls with sexy suggestions were next (i.e. suck a dick etc.) Lots of oral and feelies going on and M and I participated with each other and a couple we met. Incredibly visual and uninhibited everywhere you looked.

Sunday's crowd just wasn't the same. Guess a lot of people head out that day. We peeked in the temporary play room and about six people were at it. M was a little uncomfortable so we only stayed a minute.

Would love to go back after the new disco and play room are complete.

[leighallen]

Speaking of ping pong balls...., how exactly does that game work? Mind you, I'm a firm believer in tossing out the rules when the "playing" begins, but I'd like to know how to get the game started. Anyone know?

[Cali_desire_cpl]

When we play the game, we take about 20 ping pong balls and write naughty tasks on them ex: Suck the tits of females next to you, etc.... and dump them in the jacuzzi....you take turns picking up a ball and doing what it says. We have used pink balls (ladies tasks) and blue balls (men's tasks) to segregate the tasks....with the option of the bi ladies choosing either color.

[JCnBadboy]

Sound like fun! Oh lets play! We cant wait to get back!