wife does not want to return???

[david]

we just made our first ever trip to a clothing optional resort.My wife gradually began to get naked but only at the beach beds,although she did get to the jacuzzi a few times when it was not too crowded and consented to a PDA session one afternoon at the jacuzzi beds.She has said that she had enough by the end of the 3rd day and was glad we were leaving.She just did not as sexually charged as I was by the whole experience.I am ready to return but I feel that she is not up for a return trip.Her comment was that she did not get that much from seeing a bunch of naked people all day(especially at the pool).I must the trip was my idea and she was a pretty good sport considering.Any thought on how to get her up for another try? It would sure be appreciated.

[tout.prest]

My recommendation would be to get her to tell you the parts that she did enjoy and list the parts that she didn't. See if these lists can be worked around to HER comfort level. If she didn't like the nudity around the pool, just agree to hangout at the beach. ( We tried hanging out at the pool last trip and didn't care for it nearly as much as the beach. Lesson learned . ) If she doesn' want to be naked, for goodness sake man , don't force it !!! Tell her how much you appreciate her trying and how proud of her you are. She did try PDA, so she must be trying to get into it right ?

No matter how much my wife or I had a good time, we each know that we have equal Vito power on anything of this nature. I wouldn't want it any other way. If she's not happy, then certainly I am not going to be.

Above all else..... Do not force the issue ! If she TRULY is uncomfortable at Desire, then find somewhere she wont be. Give her some time though and talk openly, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was open to another try in the future.

Cheers,

Steve

[miranda]

Great advice, tout.prest!

For us, we go for "us", and everything else is a bonus.

Talking (and listening) is key to a 'successful' Desire vacation and you will both most likely have lots to talk about for months afterward.

What was your wife expecting? What were you expecting? More info would be helpful.

[nawty2sum]

No matter how much my wife or I had a good time, we each know that we have equal Vito power on anything of this nature. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Who is Vito, and why does he have so much power?

[Whoneedssunscreencpl]

We wrote the following a few months back and on February 21st it was placed in the FAQ section. It was entitled "Apprehensive Spouse." Perhaps some of it might be helpful:

We were recently asked about how a man might help his wife become comfortable with the idea of going to Desire instead of a more vanilla resort. We know it’s been discussed on the board before but since we were asked and since it’s an interesting topic to us, we thought we’d write about it again. There are probably plenty of potential Desire newbies reading the forum, too, and we don’t want anyone to miss out on what could be the best vacation of their lives.

About us: We are heading to Desire Cancun for the second time in May. Previously we had also been to Desire Cabo once (before it became Temptation--bleh!). We are not lifestylers but have found over time that we really do enjoy the sexy atmosphere at Desire and it adds a real kick to our vacations which lasts at home through memories and plans for future trips.

From Mrs. Whoneedssunscreen:

Prior to a few years ago, I had never been to a nude or topless resort and would definitely have characterized myself as a reluctant/apprehensive spouse but I have changed my opinion over time. I’d advise the inquiring husband of a few things. First of all, it might take your wife a long time and even several trips before she’s truly comfortable at the same level that you are. You also need to remember that she may never get there. If you have a good marriage (and I would add that I think you should not go to Desire unless your marriage is already excellent), you will already know that accepting her and her feelings is crucial, especially accepting that she may not always share your feelings. With this kind of vacation as with all marital decisions, from whether to move to a new city or to have another child, the partner who does not want to make the leap needs to retain the veto power.

For me, it took several trips to get me to the level of comfort I currently enjoy. It was most helpful when I did not feel pressured by Hub and when he let me set the pace for what I wanted to do or not do. The minute he’d lapse into “Please take your top off!â€

[Headstone]

LOL is he Vinnies cousin?

[oldseadog]

Maybe next time you should go to a naturist resort like Club Orient or Playa Sonrisa to get used to communal nudity before going back to Desire again.

[Sharon and David]

What a wonderful idea that is oldseadog!! We went to Club Orient and really had a wonderful time. That is also were we heard about aplacecalled Disire.

A women we were talking to on the beach said"People were up to all sorts of shananagins. You don't want to go there!" We llooked shocked and when she left we made a bee line to our room and looked up Desire. Our 4th. trip will be in Oct.

[Whoneedssunscreencpl]

Another really good place to try would be the Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs, California. It is couples only, very mellow and clothing optional, so she can take her time and not feel pressured.

[Rusty]

Hi David the wife said to say we are thinking about you guys. We where talking to you on your first day in the hot tub, I think your wife was amazing given the short notice on the holiday. I think what tout.prest has written above is great advise and I also think involving your wife in the planning of your next break will help you both. I know my wife loves to get involved shopping for outfits and costumes (I’m not just talking about wicked weasels either) looking into the day trips options and I well just love shelling out the plastic… You know while I think you probably rushed things a lot, I don't think it's the end for you guys and desire. I think your wife loves you a lot and while she went with the flow, you where going at a rate that worried her and she was trying to make you understands she should have a say in things that are sensitive and important to her like the nude issue. We started on a quite nude beach and worked up to Desire.

David as an observer you need to lower your expectations, I have made this mistake before where I have not involve my wife in the journey from the start only to find I’m to far in front for her to catch up. So now like me you will need to walk all the way back to the start get the car and pick her up. You can now make the journey to together and as painfully as it may seem let her navigate.

[1hotrdh]

This is a good thread for us. We are avid travelers to Cancun-Playa area about 3 times per year. We have stayed at many adults only locations all over, and we love it. We post a lot on cancuncare, and TA, etc....and the wife loves being topless all the time.

We are headed down to Playa in Oct. and we have an opportunity to leave two days early. After talking we have decided to book Desire for a friday and leave to go down to Playa on Sunday for our week.

Years ago when we started coming to Cancun, she didn't even want to take her top off. Now its hard for her to keep it on, she just wears string bikinis from MS so its not much anyways. I think she will feel the same way at Desire very quickly and being naked will come easy. I don't think it will be "easy" for either of us around the pool or hot tub, etc...on the beach, easy money, but I think it will take time to get comfortable around people.

We are excited. 2 days will give us a chance to see what we've been missing. We are pretty conservative people so there is an excitement/nervousness of what we are going to find out about ourselves, lol.

We will either dislike it, and be happy that it was only 2 days and the experience is over. Or we will absolutely love it, and though enjoying our 7 days of fun and diving in Playa/Coz. We will spend every evening wishing we would have booked the whole time at Desire!

Can't wait for October 1st to get here.......I think.

[miranda]

We will spend every evening wishing we would have booked the whole time at Desire!

Can't wait for October 1st to get here.......I think.

That is exactly what you will wish - that you had booked the whole time at Desire.

[Sharon and David]

There is no place like Desire. If you love being naked and you love being together... No place is as great as Desire!!!!