nokidclub wrote:nri953 wrote:My wife & I are coming to DRM in Dec '22. This will be our first time doing anything like this. We haven't even gone to a nude beach. My wife is allergic to condoms. She gets rashes inside her when I use condoms. Even if she is ready to have sex with other men while at DRM, is "not using condom" a "No No" ?
Not necessarily. It’s just something that you will need to negotiate with any potential play partners. Even if others aren’t Ok with that, there is still the option of soft swapping.
Yeah, either way you go, it's about setting boundaries for yourself, and communicating them clearly to potential partners. You could say "If you insist on using a condom, then we're not able to go beyond oral", or if you find a type that works for you, "we are allergic to most condoms, so we only have sex with (x brand). We've brought extras, but if you don't like them, we can't have sex", or "we insist on condoms for (x, y, z) acts. If you don't want to wear one, then we don't have to play".
The question of what other people's boundaries and comfort level are will probably change as guests come and go. My impression has been that different regions/clubs/house parties may have different assumed cultures, and so if everyone's from a different place, it's good to have that discussion. You can also talk about your last STI test and results, birth control if not using condoms, etc. Personally I've found that it's worth having these discussions as you're there for days, if you take 3 minutes up front, everything and everyone will still be there. Those up front discussions are also good to ask if your new partner has any specific preferences, e.g. rough/gentle, what to listen for if they're having a good time, etc. Some people get very loud, and others go quiet when they're having a very good time, and you don't want to stop what you're doing because you got those signals wrong.