Newbie Questions

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Newbie Questions

Postby Obee » Sun Jan 15, 2023 6:17 pm

My wife (39) and I (41) are looking at going to Riviera Maya for 5 days. We are not in the LS, nor have we been to a resort like this, but we feel like it would be fun and are up for giving it a shot. My wife is a bit on the conservative side, but going nude and having fun on the beds would not be a problem and I really think being in such a sexy and electric atmosphere she may be open for other fun experiences. My questions are below:

    1. Based on the few details above, do we fit the mold of people who have a great time there although not in the LS?
    2. How many of you have gone knowing the where the lines are drawn from your partner to only have them get caught up and those lines change. I am more than fine with the fact my wife even wants to go and have fun with each other, but can't help but think if being there with a few drinks if she would enjoy some female touching/kissing or who knows.
    3. Is it good to try and meet couples in the same boat going the same time as you as newbies to have someone to hang out with? If so and in same boat, please reach out!
    4. Any recommendations to get a good deal or discounts? Is it best to wrap the resort and flights together like on Expedia or something along those lines?
Thanks so much for any responses and we will probably have more questions :)
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby ninaandfrank » Sun Jan 15, 2023 8:48 pm

Congratulations on the two of you choosing to have a great vacation. Here are some thoughts on your excellent questions:

1. Absolutely, as long as you both are comfortable with the environment, you’ll fit right in. Honestly, there really isn’t a Desire “mold”. Folks come from a variety of walks of life and all share the common goal of having fun and leaving the real world behind. Relax and enjoy.
2. Put this entire line of thought out of your head. If you go into the situation with even the smallest hope or thought of “pushing her limits” it will come to the surface and at, best make both of you uncomfortable and at worst ruin the vacation. Communicate very well with each other and respect each other’s boundaries. Boundaries are never set in stone but any changes “end route” need to come from each partner themselves not from the other partner. With that said don’t be afraid if each of you have different boundaries. Again, relax and enjoy what you are comfortable with and leave the “what ifs” for another day.
3. No harm in contacting other couples beforehand but no sweat if you don’t. Just posting on this forum and reading the forums have accomplished much of that already.
4. Your mileage may vary but we have never had good experiences wrapping flights and lodging together. We shop for them separately.

Have fun
Frank & Nina


Obee wrote:My wife (39) and I (41) are looking at going to Riviera Maya for 5 days. We are not in the LS, nor have we been to a resort like this, but we feel like it would be fun and are up for giving it a shot. My wife is a bit on the conservative side, but going nude and having fun on the beds would not be a problem and I really think being in such a sexy and electric atmosphere she may be open for other fun experiences. My questions are below:

    1. Based on the few details above, do we fit the mold of people who have a great time there although not in the LS?
    2. How many of you have gone knowing the where the lines are drawn from your partner to only have them get caught up and those lines change. I am more than fine with the fact my wife even wants to go and have fun with each other, but can't help but think if being there with a few drinks if she would enjoy some female touching/kissing or who knows.
    3. Is it good to try and meet couples in the same boat going the same time as you as newbies to have someone to hang out with? If so and in same boat, please reach out!
    4. Any recommendations to get a good deal or discounts? Is it best to wrap the resort and flights together like on Expedia or something along those lines?
Thanks so much for any responses and we will probably have more questions :)
Some are reigniting the flame. Ours never burned out. Just dumping gas on it!
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby mikeinnj » Sun Jan 15, 2023 9:18 pm

I agree with the above post except for the bundling flights and hotel part. We always bundle which usually results in the flights being pretty much free and if I snag it right there is a good discount on the room too. Usually we use Orbitz or Travelocity but look around. For the first time, booking them together through the resort ended up $600 cheaper than Orbitz.

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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby Obee » Sun Jan 15, 2023 9:35 pm

Thanks so much for the replies. My question may not have come out as clear as I meant as I would never push for anything and 100% ball is in her court to do anything she wants or not want. That said, I was just curious if there have been people who said they would not do "X", but then did it and never looked back.

Being this is our first trip, is the cheapest place to purchase through the resort directly?

Thanks again!!
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby BandMfromtexas » Mon Jan 16, 2023 9:20 am

We booked through funjet this past august for our trip. Rooms, flights, and shuttle service.

My only advice, pay the extra $50ish bucks and do a private transfer to/from the airport.
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby wwpc » Mon Jan 16, 2023 10:24 am

Obee wrote:My wife (39) and I (41) are looking at going to Riviera Maya in April for 5 days. We are not in the LS, nor have we been to a resort like this, but we feel like it would be fun and are up for giving it a shot. My wife is a bit on the conservative side, but going nude and having fun on the beds would not be a problem and I really think being in such a sexy and electric atmosphere she may be open for other fun experiences. My questions are below:

    1. Based on the few details above, do we fit the mold of people who have a great time there although not in the LS?
    2. How many of you have gone knowing the where the lines are drawn from your partner to only have them get caught up and those lines change. I am more than fine with the fact my wife even wants to go and have fun with each other, but can't help but think if being there with a few drinks if she would enjoy some female touching/kissing or who knows.
    3. Is it good to try and meet couples in the same boat going the same time as you as newbies to have someone to hang out with? If so and in same boat, please reach out!
    4. Any recommendations to get a good deal or discounts? Is it best to wrap the resort and flights together like on Expedia or something along those lines?
Thanks so much for any responses and we will probably have more questions :)


1. You will be amazed at the amount of couples that are in your same situation
2. It’s all about the female, and for most of the couples its a couples thing so the 4 way connection is the tricky part, go with no expectaions.
3. It’s the friendliest place on earth and you will have your yellow bands so lots of people will approach you.
4. There are some links in the forum to book your travel, they are an affiliate so it helps to keep the lights on here. Personally I would never book a package, there have been so many issues with flights and cancellations I want my flexibility. Also book a private transfer! Have you ever been to Mexico before? if not I am sure there is a thread on how to get out of the airport.
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby gaviao » Mon Jan 16, 2023 12:20 pm

1. Based on the few details above, do we fit the mold of people who have a great time there although not in the LS?

Doubtless, you'll have a great time! All of us were newbies sometime, we started at 40/27, almost 23 years ago.

2. How many of you have gone knowing the where the lines are drawn from your partner to only have them get caught up and those lines change. I am more than fine with the fact my wife even wants to go and have fun with each other, but can't help but think if being there with a few drinks if she would enjoy some female touching/kissing or who knows.


I think you should draw lines in both directions (minimum and maximum accepted). As a man, you absolutely shouldn't push them to get passed. If the circumstances are right, some will be broken; if not, nothing will happen and you should not be disappointed by it.
Golden rule: the woman takes the initiative, the man goes half a step back.
And very important: do not be surprised or upset if at a certain moment your wife dares much more than you had thought; just ride the wave.


3. Is it good to try and meet couples in the same boat going the same time as you as newbies to have someone to hang out with? If so and in same boat, please reach out!

We have done it and it is useless. It's best to relate "old-fashioned": meeting in person, that's the only way to feel the chemistry, not through the Web.

4. Any recommendations to get a good deal or discounts? Is it best to wrap the resort and flights together like on Expedia or something along those lines?

We've always have reservated directly at hotel, the best deals; sometimes by phone is better than trhough website, sometimes not. Try both.
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby MachineWorks » Wed Jan 18, 2023 7:42 pm

To echo some of the other responses, i don't believe there is a "mold" for Desire guests. It seems like everyone that visits is in a little bit different place. However, i would day that we were similar prior to our first trip. We had an amazing time and are now anxiously awaiting our 5th trip.

I will also say it is easy to get caught up in the moment when at the resort and the atmosphere can definitely aid in that. But we haven't ever gone past our line or limit, because we really didn't set one, we just communicate in the moment. That being said, where my wife did stretch past where she thought she'd be most comfortable . I just go with her flow. :D

We really enjoy everyone at the resort, but we did mostly hang out with another newbie couple our first trip. It was nice that we all had the same questions and were experiencing things for the first time together. But honestly, I don't think you can go wrong. It's great connecting with someone before you go, but also nice to meet people organically once there.

For booking.... I'd caution using the Expedia type websites. We've had mostly good luck booking a package, but if something goes wrong, their customer service basically is non existent and you'll be forced to go back and forth between them, the airline, the resort, they all blame the other party and you'll be out some money.

Enjoy your first trip!
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby yungfuncouple » Tue Aug 08, 2023 1:30 pm

What should you really expect to see at the hot tub?
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby SerendipityCouple » Wed Aug 09, 2023 3:22 pm

yungfuncouple wrote:What should you really expect to see at the hot tub?


That's a great question, we were wondering the same thing before our first time. What we found out is that it depends on a few things...during happy hour a lot of people head up to the hot tub to meet up with people and make plans for the evening. At night, the hot tub doesn't get busy until 12 am - 1 am. When the disco closes the hot tub can fill up quickly with people that have been "waiting to get to the hot tub". The beds usually fill up at that time too. A great way to ease into the hot tub scene is to have grab a seat at the bar and get a feel if it is something you want to stroll into. We did that on our first day, and by the third day my wife was laying on the bar while people were doing body shots off of her and we loved it. The best thing about Desire RM or Pearl is that you get to choose your own adventure. You can be a fly on the wall at the bar or a social butterfly in the hot tub. We have found that there is no place like it and everyone respects everyone, judgement free. There is a great podcast on Spotify we listen to called "We Gotta Thing". One of their most recent episodes was about navigating Desire RM or Pearl as a newbie. Mr. and Mrs. Jones are fun to listen to and their advice is spot on. Have fun and don't forget to post a resort review when you get back.
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby yungfuncouple » Thu Aug 10, 2023 10:06 am

SerendipityCouple wrote:
yungfuncouple wrote:What should you really expect to see at the hot tub?


That's a great question, we were wondering the same thing before our first time. What we found out is that it depends on a few things...during happy hour a lot of people head up to the hot tub to meet up with people and make plans for the evening. At night, the hot tub doesn't get busy until 12 am - 1 am. When the disco closes the hot tub can fill up quickly with people that have been "waiting to get to the hot tub". The beds usually fill up at that time too. A great way to ease into the hot tub scene is to have grab a seat at the bar and get a feel if it is something you want to stroll into. We did that on our first day, and by the third day my wife was laying on the bar while people were doing body shots off of her and we loved it. The best thing about Desire RM or Pearl is that you get to choose your own adventure. You can be a fly on the wall at the bar or a social butterfly in the hot tub. We have found that there is no place like it and everyone respects everyone, judgement free. There is a great podcast on Spotify we listen to called "We Gotta Thing". One of their most recent episodes was about navigating Desire RM or Pearl as a newbie. Mr. and Mrs. Jones are fun to listen to and their advice is spot on. Have fun and don't forget to post a resort review when you get back.


This was a great response! And which episode is it 103 or 108 lol
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby adj12321 » Fri Sep 29, 2023 2:57 pm

Hi, heading to RM, is it normal to be seen in sheer items for Breakfast and Dinner, also do you have to be quick to book the restaurants that require bookings,
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Re: Newbie Questions

Postby zimuscpl » Wed Oct 04, 2023 10:12 am

yes absolutly
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