DRM Virgins - Couple questions and thoughts

[JackNSam]

Hi there!

My wife and I are DRM virgins and are heading there April 25th through May 1st. We have been married 23 years and have never done anything like this. Not even a nude beach let alone a LS resort! We are excited, nervous and everything in between.

We are staying at the Eden so hopefully by the time we get there construction will be close to being done.

We have scoured this forum and feel pretty good about what to bring and expectations once we arrive. Thanks everyone for such great information. We’ve set our boundaries and have minimal expectations. We just want to have a great time and do some “things” we’ve never thought we would haha.

Couple questions and thoughts.

1. STDs - Honestly this is our single biggest concern as we haven't had to worry about it for so long. If it wasn’t for this I think more playing would be on the table.

2. Hot tub / pool sex. My wife loves water and it really does something to her but after reading the forums this is off the table and I understand why.

3. Customs and sex toys. I assume dildos/vibrators/BDSM gear etc. are all fine to pack?

4. What do men wear? Lots of info here for the lovely ladies but what about us dudes? What do you wear to lunch or to one of the nice restaurants? What’s a typical day like for a man’s wardrobe when not nude or in a bathing suit?

Would love to meet some folks beforehand that will be there when we are.

Thanks,

[Nolaapples]

Welcome!

If you've never played with another person or couple go SLOW. It's vacation, and if you mix in alcohol it's very easy to miss the signs of your partner and overstep boundaries which can lead to arguments.

Don't expect to have sex on your vacation with other people. Finding chemistry is hard, it's best to go with zero expectations and if you click with people great . Honestly again, if it's your first time, diving head first into full blown intercourse is not the best ideas.

1.As far as STD's which ones are you worried about? Condoms will significantly reduce transmission of HIV, syphilis, trichomonas gonoreah and Chlamydia. HPV and herpes not so much. If you are up to date on your HPV vaccine you have less to worry about. Herpes is a wild card. Hopefully you have play partners that have been tested or if they have HSV they are taking an anti viral and avoiding playing during an outbreak.

Responsible swingers are probably lower risk sexual encounters due to their testing habits than hooking up with someone in the gen pop

Also keep in mind you can get Chlamydia and gonorrhea of the throat. People don't really use dental dams or condoms for oral. They're generally treatable with some antibiotics although drug resistant gonorrhea of the throat is a thing but pretty rare. I personally don't know anyone that's contracted anything from swinging but I'm sure it still happens.

2. Yes, absolute no, you don't want any kind of communal water going inside her, bad vaginitis. Burning and discharge is a big libido ruiner.

3. Yes, just make sure none of your dildos look like a bomb or s gun.

4. Lunch time wear whatever. Dinner wear nice resort wear, e.g. khakis or linen pants with a button up shirt and some loafers or boat shoes. If you wear jeans and sneakers with a t shirt you'll feel under dressed at dinner.


Again, take it slow! People are very friendly. My wife and I are former swingers more kinda non-monagamish now. We may play with the right people some time in the future, maybe not, but we make that clear when people ask That didn't seem to disappoint anyone, and honestly I spent a lot of time talking to other dudes who are just there also to enjoy the fun social environment. You'll meet people here from all different comfort levels from nudists to full blown swingers that swap the whole trip. Again we love it because the social environment is soo much different that other resorts. It's like a big happy college party for adults, and there's a lot of nudity.

It's also super rad to see how many different body types feel comfortable letting themselves be exposed here. Everyone is welcome to feel sexy here.

[JackNSam]

Thanks you for that detailed response - as my husband said in the initial post, we are new to this but are very excited. We have zero expectations and honestly are just really excited to have a fun “happy college party with nudity” as you said. We are excited to explore a more “exhibitionist” side to our relationship more than anything else and I think this trip will allow us to move outside of our fantasies and actually live some of them. I am a typical women though and am so worried about what to pack for the theme nights - assuming even if you don’t dress perfectly for the theme of the night it isn’t a big deal?

We are also looking forward to meeting people, and learning more about how to move beyond “dirty vanilla” in our sex life HAHAHAHA!

[nokidclub]

Thanks you for that detailed response - as my husband said in the initial post, we are new to this but are very excited. We have zero expectations and honestly are just really excited to have a fun “happy college party with nudity” as you said. We are excited to explore a more “exhibitionist” side to our relationship more than anything else and I think this trip will allow us to move outside of our fantasies and actually live some of them. I am a typical women though and am so worried about what to pack for the theme nights - assuming even if you don’t dress perfectly for the theme of the night it isn’t a big deal?

We are also looking forward to meeting people, and learning more about how to move beyond “dirty vanilla” in our sex life HAHAHAHA!

Are you comfortable sharing your general location? You mentioned wanting to meet people ahead of time. Maybe there is someone in your town who can provide an in-person Desire consultation.

[243Xfun]

We say “Don’t worry..Be Happy “
Within 1 hour your normal will be out the window
Condoms condoms CONDOMS
Not sure about sex toys but have read no problems
As far as what the man should wear when wearing .. I wore linen shorts and a Hawaiian cut shirt

It Was also our first time at ANYTHING like desire and once we got there WOW it’s a whole different world
Just make up your mind to mingle and enjoy!

[JackNSam]

@nokidclub - We are located in Northern VA. Would be great to find a local couple that’s been to DRM and meet up to discuss.

@243xfun - Wife and I have been reading about the Eden and the general worry that the larger size of the pool may reduce the amount of mingling. Would you agree, however, that a big reason for the mingling is 1. the people and 2. No cell phones outside of the room? In my experience just about everywhere I go it’s cell phone dependency / usage that reduces the ability for folks to mingle and really get to know each other.

[Orcowgirl]

We started going a few years ago and got, literally, addicted to the complete funess of it. After 30+ times at all 3 resorts, we have come to the conclusion that it is just too hard to match up 2 couples, so haven't, or maybe we just have way too much fun with each other? We LOVE the theme nights and go all out, love the hot tub time, we start drinking then and love the adult spring break fun and visiting. On most of our trips the ratio of swingers to non is about 40% swapping and and 60% non. Of course that changes if you are there during a "takeover" or group trip, but still just a blast with no pressure. Go and have fun with each other. And goodness, keep the chlorine out of the girl parts and use the beds, that's what they are for.

[243Xfun]

JackandSam we were there in November so Eden was not open yet

But We would think we would have to agree with what we think you are saying

We liked the lay out but not the music selection so we are hoping the old pool may now be more of a mingling place to meet people
We are anxious to see what it’s like now
We liked the location of the old hot tub Wondering what will be up there now?
Pm us we would like to know what you think about everything
We liked the vibe but…..

[lisaa59]

Just returned March 2nd, no one could tell us what the old jacuzzi would turn into, it was still in use as the new one wasn't opened, As for mingling in the pool- the old pool still had the same vibe. We picked our own music and started our games. the bar is still serving at the end of the pool. People moved over to it as the week went on- those of us that remember what it was like. Someone described the new pool as "resort like" pool- I agree, spread out and not a mingling, friendly atmosphere. We lasted at the new pool for 2 days and then switched back to original pool. Maybe it will take time to get used to it. My husband told me to approach it as if we had never been here before.

[BashfulDesires]

JackNSam -

Jack, wear dry shorts/trunks & a tshirt to breakfast & lunch. Sam, wear a cover-up style short dress or shorts & tank top. Flipflops or sandals are fine.

Themes - If you don't dress in theme, don't worry about it - but do dress sexy. Think club dress & heels/wedges for her, think fitted trousers and collared button down shirt for him. It's hot, its humid. Sport coats, jackets, tucked in shirts, long sleeves, heavy cotton pants are nice but miserably hot & sweat inducing.
Leave the khakis & golf shirts at home.

We dress up for dinner, then change into theme wear...

Our other suggestion - go visit your local Lifestyle club on a big theme night - St. Patrick's Day is around the corner and will attract a big crowd. Just mingle, take notes on dresses, clothing, styles you see - that will be repeated a lot at Desire! Learn to interact with other like minded partying adults who are looking for NSA fun.

[JackNSam]

Thanks everyone for your guidance. This will be super helpful for us when we get there.

One thing my hubby brought up yesterday was — assuming you wear trunks/suit to the pool and then strip there - no nudity just walking around the resort? Or do you just leave your room naked when heading to the pool/beach? As I am writing this I am smiling because I am feeling like such a noob LOL!

I am sure once we are there a day, we will figure it all out - but don’t want to make any mistakes

[M&A]

Hi, we aren't LS either and have been to the Desire Resorts 15+ times in the last 6 or 7 years. To provide "our opinion" to your question, firstly your husband can do whatever he feels comfortable doing...most of the time I wear my swim suit to the pool and take it off when I go in the water. I put on my suit to go to lunch (with a t-shirt) and my wife has a sexy coverup that she wears but never wears a bikini bra. Also, my wife never takes off her bikini bottom (and not that it matters, but she has a great body)...its just a personal preference. After your first day (or first few hours), you really don't even pay much attention to the nakedness.

There are times during the day when I might run back to the room sans swim suit...but other times I put it on...nobody blinks an eye, its what feels right for you both. Enjoy your sexy vacation together!

Also, the wife dresses up "big time" for dinner (heels and sexy dresses) and i wear a Polo type shirt and sporty dress pants. She also loves to dress up for theme nights (classy but super skimpy), while I typically don't...it's all what you want to make of it.

[nokidclub]

Thanks everyone for your guidance. This will be super helpful for us when we get there.

One thing my hubby brought up yesterday was — assuming you wear trunks/suit to the pool and then strip there - no nudity just walking around the resort? Or do you just leave your room naked when heading to the pool/beach? As I am writing this I am smiling because I am feeling like such a noob LOL!

I am sure once we are there a day, we will figure it all out - but don’t want to make any mistakes

The entire resort is clothing optional with the exception of the lobby, the restaurants, and the gym. You can be naked everywhere else. We try to stay as naked as possible and just put clothes on before heading into a restaurant.

We often leave our room naked and prance around the resort grounds.