Desire Resort Forums

This is not our first C/O trip, and did visit Temptation a few years back. Have been pretty conservative in the past. However, celebrating our 17 year anniversary on this trip we are contemplating adding more spice. It's easy to lay in bed and say we'd like to try this or that but are sure it'll be much different being able to actually try it. So our questions are as follows.
1) Are there couples that will be willing to talk about "dipping our toes in the water"?
2) We will probably not want to try a full swap but you never know. We have only talked about threesomes or wife playing with another woman (while I watch of course) are couples willing to "hold our hands" if the mood strikes and do they get upset or put off if you start but then decide you want to stop?
3) Most of our trips have been "alone in a crowd" we really want to meet people and make friends even if we decide to stay monogamous on this trip what's the best way to accomplish this?
4) we have done a short stint on a nude beach but nothing past laying on the beach and s little walking. How out of place will we be if we keep bottoms on more than 50% of the time?
5) without giving away all the secrets can anyone provide us with some details of what to expect during the different couple massages?
6) last but not least knowing a little what we are like and wondering about can some of you multi-visit patrons give us some newbie tips? We have bought outfits for 3 of the theme nights.

We are nervously excited and have started the countdown. Thank you all in advance.

You've come to the right place (this forum) for answers to those questions. Try the search function for many of those and read trip reports as well for more insight!

To quickly answer:
1) yes
2) first be open with each other about your boundaries /rules . If you get uncomfortable during play we'd say it's better to regret something that you didn't do as opposed to something you did.
3) Desire is full of friendly people and as long as you do something as simple as say hi, you won't be alone unless you want to be
4) OPTIONAL! First time people tend to be nervous - go at your own speed. Our first trip the only time we went nekid was at night on the beach
5) lots of topics out there on this. We do the erotic every year and have enjoyed some more than others.
6) check the FAQ section and trip reports for this too.

D & K

Curious Couple wrote:This is not our first C/O trip, and did visit Temptation a few years back. Have been pretty conservative in the past. However, celebrating our 17 year anniversary on this trip we are contemplating adding more spice. It's easy to lay in bed and say we'd like to try this or that but are sure it'll be much different being able to actually try it. So our questions are as follows.
1) Are there couples that will be willing to talk about "dipping our toes in the water"?
2) We will probably not want to try a full swap but you never know. We have only talked about threesomes or wife playing with another woman (while I watch of course) are couples willing to "hold our hands" if the mood strikes and do they get upset or put off if you start but then decide you want to stop?
3) Most of our trips have been "alone in a crowd" we really want to meet people and make friends even if we decide to stay monogamous on this trip what's the best way to accomplish this?
4) we have done a short stint on a nude beach but nothing past laying on the beach and s little walking. How out of place will we be if we keep bottoms on more than 50% of the time?
5) without giving away all the secrets can anyone provide us with some details of what to expect during the different couple massages?
6) last but not least knowing a little what we are like and wondering about can some of you multi-visit patrons give us some newbie tips? We have bought outfits for 3 of the theme nights.

We are nervously excited and have started the countdown. Thank you all in advance.

Thank you very much for the insight. We have done lots of reading. We have talked several times and have boundaries set. We just don't want to seem needy asking about experiences and what to expect while we are there. We just know we will need help to make this step and don't want to miss out due to not knowing how to go about approach the situations or express what we may be interested in. Again. Thank you for the information so far. We would appreciate more opinions and insight if possible. Thank you all.

If the date in your avatar is right where will be at RM when you are (we arrive on Nov 20th).

Other than the great advice given by Mystra (who by the way helped us very much, they were the first people we met in person at RM), I would suggest joining the Yahoo group for your month. This is a great way to meet people before you go. I'd say this was one of the best things we did before our first visit, we had instant friends and felt at ease right off the bat.

Here is a link for the Nov RM group, we are luridbleu1 on there:

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/DesireNov2016

Link to the Nov 2016 RM thread:

viewtopic.php?f=12&t=6636

Link to our trip report form September of this year, our first visit:

viewtopic.php?f=14&t=7452

Aside from all that, do what your are doing, read the forums, ask questions, communicate, do whatever you need to in order to be able to embrace the environment and have a great time with your significant other. You are being smart, not needy, and if anyone were to think that, it would be their problem. So if you have any other questions or concerns, ask away, either here or private message if you want

1) Are there couples that will be willing to talk about "dipping our toes in the water"?

Absolutely, however it depends on just who is there at the time.

2) We will probably not want to try a full swap but you never know. We have only talked about threesomes or wife playing with another woman (while I watch of course) are couples willing to "hold our hands" if the mood strikes and do they get upset or put off if you start but then decide you want to stop?

Absolutely. We ALL started some time somewhere. It's just a matter of finding the 'right' couple for you two.

3) Most of our trips have been "alone in a crowd" we really want to meet people and make friends even if we decide to stay monogamous on this trip what's the best way to accomplish this?

The jacuzzi after 4pm or late night. There needs to be a better warning sign posted about the jacuzzi Seriously, where ever you are, just say 'hi'. People there are very friendly and happy to talk. We're all there to enjoy ourselves and meet new people.

4) we have done a short stint on a nude beach but nothing past laying on the beach and s little walking. How out of place will we be if we keep bottoms on more than 50% of the time?

Not much, however when we went to our first 'clothing optional' resort, we were told during the introductory tour that after a hour or so, clothing tends to feel...overdressed, and it was true. Still, if you want to keep some on, you will not be judged. Go with whatever you are comfortable with.

5) without giving away all the secrets can anyone provide us with some details of what to expect during the different couple massages?

We have only gotten the standard couples massages and they are just standard massages with no 'intimate' touching.

6) last but not least knowing a little what we are like and wondering about can some of you multi-visit patrons give us some newbie tips? We have bought outfits for 3 of the theme nights.

Don't have any expectations other than having a GREAT vacation and a really good time and you won't be disappointed. Having too high expectations (i.e. pron movie fantasy fulfillment) might not happen or be as 'perfect' as you hope (not saying it won't happen, but expecting something to be a certain way doesn't always happen...just allow things to happen and enjoy them when they do). Don't be afraid to mingle and talk to people. It's a vacation, so throw caution to the wind and let yourself have fun and try things that you normally wouldn't think of trying.

Swingers are some of the kindest, nicest, most respectful people you will ever meet (although there are the occasional exception). Just plan on having a great vacation with the person you love and everything else is bonus. I think you will do just fine...don't forget to report back!

Can't really say it any better than that!

Definitely do discuss where you want to venture into the LS should you decide to do so. Set rules. Only participate to the limits of the more conservative or restrictive of you. Allow rules to be discussed while there and "negotiated", but don't put pressure on each other. (Guys should esp not put pressure on their wife/SO.) Go with the flow. There's always next time, and there WILL BE a next time if you don't muck it up the first time.

Other than that, go with the flow. You will have a great time.

Life is Good!

Have a 'safe' word / phrase / touch - if either of you is feeling uncomfortable in the situation, use it.

And something else you might want to take in to consideration is never 'take one for the team' .

desireaddict wrote:Definitely do discuss where you want to venture into the LS should you decide to do so. Set rules. Only participate to the limits of the more conservative or restrictive of you. Allow rules to be discussed while there and "negotiated", but don't put pressure on each other. (Guys should esp not put pressure on their wife/SO.) Go with the flow. There's always next time, and there WILL BE a next time if you don't muck it up the first time.

Other than that, go with the flow. You will have a great time.

Life is Good!

This is great advice!

I'll open by stating for the record that we're not swingers, and probably never will be. But partying with swingers is a hell of a lot more fun that going on a regular vacation.

We had the same hesitation when going. We assumed that we'd be entering a meat market, where everyone recognized that we were new, and wanted to "conquer us". Nothing could have been further from reality.

I can only explain it like this: Think of swinging as a hobby. If you ask someone about their hobby, they're going to be happy you asked. They might be excited, and tell you that their hobby is the greatest. But just by showing interest, you have enough common ground for conversation. They might try to convince you to try their hobby, but if you want to think about it before jumping in, they won't be offended. Doesn't matter if it's remote controlled airplanes, knitting, or swinging.

/MIC DROP/

That would be awesome if they had remote control airplanes at Desire! Knitting too, I guess.