Desire Resort Forums

Dear all:
As some of you know, next month is going to be our FIRST trip (hope not the last) to Desire Rivera Maya.
My wife is asking me about dress code for ladies, wondering what to pack, and I am confused.

1) We have been to Cap d'Adge in France MANY times, and I always ask my wife to wear those ultra sexy dresses (the ones you would never wear out of a Lifestyle environment) at night. At Cap d'Adge you wear that dress to the restaurant, and then go, from there, to a club, for fun.

2) In the Lifestlye clubs in Europe, there is another etiquette. You arrive in normal "street clothes", and at a given time (around 10:30 pm), they play a given song (that we all know), signaling the time for couples to go to the lockers and change into lingerie (ladies) or classy underwear (gentlement).
Normally ladies change into a pair of sexy knickers + stockings+sexy lingerie bra+gartner belt to hold the stockings.

I was going to send some of our pictures (faceless ) of both a) and b), but I can't find the way to attach them to my message. If you know, please, tell me how.
My question is:
- If my wife changes after hot tub, etc into one of this VERY sexy dresses, is it "normal" to (do other couples) go to the restaruant like this? She wouldn't mind to do it AS LONG as the rest of the couples do the same, but she will kill me if I ask her to do it and the rest of women in restaurant are dressing "just sexy" (the kind of "sexy" to be found in non-lifestyle environments).
- Should she wear simply "street sexy" for the restaurant and then change into "lifestyle-Cap d'Adge" sexy for the Disco?
- When do you change into stockings, knickers and bra? To go to the playroom?
It all seems a bit confusing to me.
I know some of you are going to tell me to "go ahead and dress in whatever way"... but I DON'T want to put my wife in the embarrasing situation to be (under)dressed in Cap d'Adge style ("slutty, as you call it") erotic dresses, only to find out there are only 2 women out of 100 dressed like that in the restaurant.

Thank you for your advice and suggestions
PD: How do you upload pictures to these messages?

As far as dinner attire for ladies - you will see a pretty wide variety - all perfectly acceptable.

My wife tends to dress more along the lines of "street sexy" for dinner and then the more revealing outfits come out after dinner for the disco, but we regularly see (and admire) women in very revealing outfits in the restaurants. My vocabulary for describing women's clothing is pretty limited, but you might see micro dresses, or tops that allow the nipples to be visible, dresses basically made of straps of material, etc. Is that helpful?

I think the most accurate answers you are going to get are that, like many things at Desire, there are no absolutes, it mainly depends on the crowd. You will most likely see a blend of things - you will also see that it doesn't matter to anyone.

There's nothing to say that you have to do it all the first night. Since you will be there multiple nights go to dinner the first night and get a sense of things, go with what you are comfortable with at that time. Then see how that feels and take it farther the next night if you feel so inclined. You could apply this to generally any part of Desire - it is a very accommodating place for couples to find and push their boundaries, to whatever extent those boundaries are, in an environment that has to be one of the least judgmental you'll find.

This is what leads to what seems like generic answers, but the truth is every couple is there for different reasons (even if under a similar umbrella), it's more free form than it is structured. I think this is what people mean when they say "Desire is what you make it"

texascouple1208 wrote:As far as dinner attire for ladies - you will see a pretty wide variety - all perfectly acceptable.

My wife tends to dress more along the lines of "street sexy" for dinner and then the more revealing outfits come out after dinner for the disco, but we regularly see (and admire) women in very revealing outfits in the restaurants. My vocabulary for describing women's clothing is pretty limited, but you might see micro dresses, or tops that allow the nipples to be visible, dresses basically made of straps of material, etc. Is that helpful?

Thank you very much, "texascouple1208"!!
We are not used to dressing twice on the same night, but I'll use your reply to make my wife understand that if she dresses a little bit "sexier" than what she finds in the restaurant, it's because those other ladies dress twice (and they will not frown at her for dressing a little more revealing in the restaurant.
Will it work? I don't know, but ever since we got married, many years ago, I LOVE watching my wife dress sexy in front of others (the only problem is that she is shy/conservative UNLESS she sees other women dressing alike.
I'll let you know what happens!
Thank you very much for your answer!!
PS: does anybody know how to attach pictures to these blogs?

Explorer79 wrote:I think the most accurate answers you are going to get are that, like many things at Desire, there are no absolutes, it mainly depends on the crowd. You will most likely see a blend of things - you will also see that it doesn't matter to anyone.

There's nothing to say that you have to do it all the first night. Since you will be there multiple nights go to dinner the first night and get a sense of things, go with what you are comfortable with at that time. Then see how that feels and take it farther the next night if you feel so inclined. You could apply this to generally any part of Desire - it is a very accommodating place for couples to find and push their boundaries, to whatever extent those boundaries are, in an environment that has to be one of the least judgmental you'll find.

This is what leads to what seems like generic answers, but the truth is every couple is there for different reasons (even if under a similar umbrella), it's more free form than it is structured. I think this is what people mean when they say "Desire is what you make it"

Thank you very much, Explorer79, for your kind answer!
I guess your advice is the right way to go: making sure she is comfortable.
I will ask her to pack all those (slutty?) sexy dresses from Cap d'Adge, and tell her that she might use them, but maybe not at first. She is not used to dress just for the playroom (she is more used to "undress" for the playroom), but I guess we will have to understand D_RM, before being able to adapt to it.
European habits may be different to american ones, when it comes to Lifestyle routines.
Again, thank you for your answer!!!

My wife generally wears lifestyle clubwear / ultra sexy dresses to dinner at both RM and Pearl. If time permits, she will generally change after dinner into an outfit to match that night's theme. On a few occasions, often depending on time, the theme outfit becomes the dinner outfit. As other posters have mentioned, you will observe a variety of looks, from street sexy to those women already dressed in theme at dinner. Your wife will (hopefully) not be uncomfortable or feel out of place no matter how she chooses to dress for dinner.

We prefer to minimalize packing. It does not make sense for us to dress for dinner, then change for the theme night. We
Just deress once and that works fine.

NaughtyKittenandB wrote:My wife generally wears lifestyle clubwear / ultra sexy dresses to dinner at both RM and Pearl. If time permits, she will generally change after dinner into an outfit to match that night's theme. On a few occasions, often depending on time, the theme outfit becomes the dinner outfit. As other posters have mentioned, you will observe a variety of looks, from street sexy to those women already dressed in theme at dinner. Your wife will (hopefully) not be uncomfortable or feel out of place no matter how she chooses to dress for dinner.

Thank you very much, Bryan!!!
We are not too much into "Theme Nights", and I wouldn't like too much if my wife were too shy to wear her "Ulltra Sexy" dresses for dinner, so I am going to share with her your response, hoping she will feel comfortable knowing she can wear those erotic dresses to dinner, too

Thank you!!!
Manu

Lkncouple wrote:We prefer to minimalize packing. It does not make sense for us to dress for dinner, then change for the theme night. We
Just deress once and that works fine.

Thank you lkncouple!!
I appreciate you taking the time to answer!!!
Best regards
Manu

As others have stated it seems to be a very wide variety. We’ve seen women in just about any type of dress. From mild to very wild. From shorts and a blouse to micro dresses. My wife typically likes to wear her club dresses which typically mean Sheer, micro, fishnet, slotted, or some other type of revealing. She won’t wear these to normal restarurants in the US. Depending on the theme she may leave the micro dress on or go back and change into something more revealing for the theme night. Once she’s in theme wear or a dress she’s done putting clothes on for the night. They only start to come off after that. She definitely wouldn’t change for the disco or the jacuzzi or if we decide to make use of the beach beds at night.

Hope this helps.

RicknMandy wrote:As others have stated it seems to be a very wide variety. We’ve seen women in just about any type of dress. From mild to very wild. From shorts and a blouse to micro dresses. My wife typically likes to wear her club dresses which typically mean Sheer, micro, fishnet, slotted, or some other type of revealing. She won’t wear these to normal restarurants in the US. Depending on the theme she may leave the micro dress on or go back and change into something more revealing for the theme night. Once she’s in theme wear or a dress she’s done putting clothes on for the night. They only start to come off after that. She definitely wouldn’t change for the disco or the jacuzzi or if we decide to make use of the beach beds at night.

Hope this helps.

Thank you so very much, RicknMandy!!!
You cannot imagine how helpful each couple's answer is to us!! Maybe someone may think that "everything has already been said" but, on the contrary, each couple adds a valuable different perspective, insight, and refers to some aspects that have not been analysed before by others!
It will be our first visit to D_RM and although we've been numerous times to EUROPEAN lifestyle resorts for holidays and also to different clubs in weekend nights, the cultural differences are important, and the routine of the resorts is remarkably different ( the french resorts at Cap d'Adge are not "all inclusive", and many don't even have restaurants inside the premises, so dining means to go out to some restaurant (within Cap d'Adge)...plus the hot tub doesn't work at night. Whole different plan for the evening, with clear "dressing-code" implications.

And most important...I am NOT worried about "not following the etiquette 100%" since I assume that the atmosphere (both guests and staff) in a beach, lifestyle resort is very laid back, casual, and easygoing. MY CONCERN is making sure that, after convincing my wife to dress the mini-ultra-sexy hyper-short and super-revealing naugthy dresses that we have bought over the years, SHE DOESN'T FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!!! Because not only this can ruin part of the night, taking all the fun out, but also it will guarantee that she will TAKE PRECAUTIONS, and think twice before daring to do things I would love us to do.

So, again, thank you very much, all of you who have taken the time to share your views on DRESS CODE FOR LADIES AT NIGHT, AT D_RM!!

From the wife's perspective, I certainly shared your wife's concerns the first time we visited DRM. However, I jumped in feet first and have never looked back. We will be arriving again in February for our sixth stay.

I have always worn micro, or bodycon, dresses to dinner. I have received nothing but compliments from others and never have felt uncomfortable. My husband loves it! I leave everything I would wear in regular life at home!

As for theme nights and disco afterwards, I prefer to only dress once, so I just wear what I wore to dinner.

Hope this helps ease your wife's mind and I hope you both enjoy Desire to the fullest!

We have been going to DRM for the past 7 or 8 years and all I will say is this: The time spent at Desire is the perfect time to wear what you wouldn't in the normal life so go creative and wild. Nothing regrettable will happen

To add to the replies, my wife, and others, have gone to dinner “dressed” in nothing but body paint and a thong. She got many compliments. (She did bring a small hand towel to sit on.) You will see everything from mild to wild for dinner wear.
Have fun

My girlfriend has a top she wants to wear but it’s sheer (black tight sheer ) that you can clearly see her breasts through. Is this something ok for dinner or not appropriate?