First timers

This is the place for general questions / general discussion about Desire Riviera Maya

First timers

Postby sunandfun2224 » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:02 pm

We are not in the lifestyle, but are open to explore and learn more about the Desire experience.

Can someone shed some experience and knowledge around some of the activities at the resort:

What is the foam party like?

Hot tub, obviously there is sex, but is there a lot of soft swinging as well?

We are in our 30's, is Pearl or Riviera Maya better?

If we went for 4 nights, is there also a luxury resort nearby for us to go to for a night or two

What are some the best activities throughout the week?

Are there a lot of couples that go and enjoy soft swinging or do most couples prefer full swap?
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Re: First timers

Postby Yeipi » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:36 pm

Read, read and keep reading the forum and you will find answers to all your questions... And more.
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Re: First timers

Postby CanadianGirl » Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:52 am

The foam party is a lot of fun. Honestly I think it's just another fun part of the whole trip, doesn't really stand out as above anything else.
There is a lot of soft swinging. A lot of doing body shots, licking chocolate off boobs, etc. etc. I think you probably see a lot more of that than actual swinging.
We were in our 30's and have been to both Pearle and RM. Had a ball at both. Depends on the crowd. Maybe in general the disco goes a bit later at RM but again it depends on the crowd.
The best activities through out the week is just hanging around the pool/hot tub/beach talking to people. Some of the random spontaneous fun that happens, that's where we have had the most fun.
You can find a lot of both full and soft swap....what ever you are comfortable with. Nobody will push you into something you are not comfortable with. I think you will find you will be pushing your own limits a bit. Again, you can find what ever you are into. A lot of the fun is the flirting, soft swap situations.
If you come to Desire.....don't plan on going to another resort....ever!! :D Seriously, if you went to Desire then another Resort on the same trip I think you would be depressed. It's the one thing I definitely wouldn't reccomend.
Go, have fun and enjoy. Any other questions we'd be happy to help.
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Re: First timers

Postby Explorer79 » Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:45 am

Seriously, if you went to Desire then another Resort on the same trip I think you would be depressed.


Generally that's true, however I will say that up until recently we always scheduled a few days elsewhere after Desire. We've done The Royalton up the road and we've done another city such as Nashville, doesn't much matter where, but the reasoning was that after Desire we liked having the buffer of something else before coming back to reality, especially with Desire brain still in full force. Also, this was especially nice on the earlier trips where we were really pushing boundaries etc.. it was invaluable to be somewhere alone together for some great reconnecting, in fact on the first couple of trips I'd even say it was necessary. Also being somewhere else fully emboldened by the experiences at Desire can end up making the non Desire portion of the trip not quite so vanilla.

Personally I can't imagine going to another resort for days before Desire, the anticipation would be killing me and I'd have to hold back anyway, the last thing I'd want is to show up to Desire ready to be naked and bloated :D I'm sure there are others that do this and like it though, it all just depends.

I will note that none of this took away days from Desire, because that would be heresy, they were always extra days. I'd say that if you add days at the end and that takes away from Desire days, especially if the number of days at Desire is low then that has a great chance of leading to regret. For us 4-5: days is really the minimum to have the full experience, especially if you are new.
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Re: First timers

Postby CanadianGirl » Fri Feb 15, 2019 12:31 pm

Explorer79 wrote:
Seriously, if you went to Desire then another Resort on the same trip I think you would be depressed.


Generally that's true, however I will say that up until recently we always scheduled a few days elsewhere after Desire. We've done The Royalton up the road and we've done another city such as Nashville, doesn't much matter where, but the reasoning was that after Desire we liked having the buffer of something else before coming back to reality, especially with Desire brain still in full force. Also, this was especially nice on the earlier trips where we were really pushing boundaries etc.. it was invaluable to be somewhere alone together for some great reconnecting, in fact on the first couple of trips I'd even say it was necessary. Also being somewhere else fully emboldened by the experiences at Desire can end up making the non Desire portion of the trip not quite so vanilla.

Personally I can't imagine going to another resort for days before Desire, the anticipation would be killing me and I'd have to hold back anyway, the last thing I'd want is to show up to Desire ready to be naked and bloated :D I'm sure there are others that do this and like it though, it all just depends.

I will note that none of this took away days from Desire, because that would be heresy, they were always extra days. I'd say that if you add days at the end and that takes away from Desire days, especially if the number of days at Desire is low then that has a great chance of leading to regret. For us 4-5: days is really the minimum to have the full experience, especially if you are new.


Yes, we actually stopped in Nashville for a few nights as well on our way home from RM one time. It was a good way to slowly ease back into reality. We also went to another resort for a wedding one time after 5 days at RM and we were bored out of our minds. It was like going from driving around in a Lamborghini to a Dodge K-Car. Still being on a beach in Mexico it was hard to get out of the Desire Mind set. For us probably the max we can go to Desire is five nights, we don't get out a lot at home so we go pretty hard every night there and by the fourth or fifth night we are both pretty done. I guess that's the great thing about the place, everyone is coming from different situations, etc. but there seems to be one carefree attitude that unites everyone. I never really got when people would say, " looking to meet like minded people" until I went to Desire. Totally get it now.
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Re: First timers

Postby txcouple13 » Fri Feb 15, 2019 1:53 pm

We LOVE the foam party, and make sure we are there on Friday every trip for that reason. It is a blast together and with friends, just make sure you have a Tervis or some style cup with a lid.

Hot Tub area we have seen differently every single trip, and would say the wildest we have seen it was our first trip in 2013. I think the activities there depend on the crowd that week. I wouldn't worry too much about what others are doing because you can be with just your partner, engage in full swap, or soft swap. Most of the time at the jacuzzi we are hanging out with people we met earlier in the day so what we are personally doing depends on that. Also last year we did a soft swap that lasted a few minutes, and most of the time were just hanging out and flirting.

Mid 30's here as well and have only been to RM. However pretty much consistent feedback is that RM disco is more happening but again all depends on the crowd that week at the resort.

Breathless is right next door so you could stay there BUT I will say we have not been back to Mexico, without the kids, and stayed anywhere else after we experienced Desire. It truly is what you make of it, and what you and your partner are looking for/needing that trip! There are trips there that we party more, flirt more, soft swap more, and then there are trips that we just need to reconnect so we relax on the beach more and enjoy the sexy evening vibe just together.

I know some people that go to another resort at the end of Desire trip to relax, but we never have. Our final night we usually do not go to the disco and call it a night earlier than normal so we are rested to come back home to four kids. Lol
RM- August 2013
RM- September 2015
RM- July 2016
RM- July 2017
RM- August 2018
RM- July 2019
RM- August 2020

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Re: First timers

Postby desireaddict » Fri Feb 15, 2019 4:07 pm

If I only had 6 days total, they would all be at Desire.
Going to a vanilla resort to "rest up" after being at Desire might be a good idea after 10, 12, or 14 nights, but 4 nights is barely enough time at Desire. Do the full 6 nights there.
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Re: First timers

Postby Yeipi » Fri Feb 15, 2019 4:49 pm

desireaddict wrote:If I only had 6 days total, they would all be at Desire.
Going to a vanilla resort to "rest up" after being at Desire might be a good idea after 10, 12, or 14 nights, but 4 nights is barely enough time at Desire. Do the full 6 nights there.

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Re: First timers

Postby Explorer79 » Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:08 pm

I definitely would not sacrifice Desire nights for anything. If we had 10 days we'd much rather have 2 five day trips rather than a single ten day trip, but for some, especially if the travel is long I can see how that would be different.

For us, the after trips we took were definitely not to relax, we actually remove the constraints - I mean in vanilla land if we happen to get hammered, who cares, but I never really would like to be that way at Desire, I'd actually like to remember all the fun. I'll say that bar hopping in Nashville with raging Desire brain going and only interacting with strangers was a total blast - we have nothing to hide there so we get to tell all our tales of debauchery, usually to a very receptive audience, and by the time we get home we don't have the urge to tell friends or whatever, we got that part out of our system.

Also, we've noticed that coming out of Desire you end up walking around with this extra badge of confidence for lack of a better term, it is a really cool feeling. As has been said before Desire is the only place that pays off before, during and after.

One funny thing that happened, my wife and I were sitting at a bar and this girl comes up and starts complimenting my wife's hair and so forth, then she tried to play psychic and started telling us all about ourselves. At one point she said, "I can tell you guys have great sex", then she looks straight at me and says, "but, it's not going to last".

I almost snort laughed but instead I smiled and said, "That's an interesting observation seeing as how just yesterday we were celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary at the naked swinger's resort in Mexico". I really wish I could've captured that moment, the look was awesome. She did buy us a round of shots after that lol.

Anyway, going straight home from Desire, especially during the early trips would've been torture and a great recipe for depression.
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Re: First timers

Postby Explorer79 » Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:17 pm

desireaddict wrote:If I only had 6 days total, they would all be at Desire.
Going to a vanilla resort to "rest up" after being at Desire might be a good idea after 10, 12, or 14 nights, but 4 nights is barely enough time at Desire. Do the full 6 nights there.


I'd agree with that. 4 would be the absolute minimum and there's just no margin for error there - one bit of rain could totally derail it. 5 is usually enough, 6 for sure. I'm not sure what the upper limit would be for a single trip but I think some amount of burnout would have to kick in at some point.

We had one trip that was 3 days because of room availability issues. That trip felt like 6 though, with only 3 days we were just full throttle from start to end, in essence it was a Naughty in Nawlins pace. It turned out great but we were lucky too. No way we could have kept that pace going for 6 days.
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Re: First timers

Postby cavecouple » Fri Feb 15, 2019 10:13 pm

Our shortest trip was 4 nights, the longest 12 nights. The 4 night trip felt WAY too short! After 12 nights, one of us felt it was time to go home the other had maybe a couple of more nights before the sand gravity sent in. For us the sweet spot is 7,8,or 9 nights. Your mileage may vary!

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Re: First timers

Postby Dani'stoy » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:58 pm

We have done this and it's pretty awesome if you're outdoorsy - we booked a two night, three day fly fishing trip with a small lodge in Punta Allen which is about 90 miles and one really bad road away from Desire. The lodge was nice but "rustic". The scenery, hospitality and fishing were nothing short of amazing!... And it was pretty economical. Then we went to Desire for a week and partied our asses off! It was a great trip! Another time we went to Now Sapphire Hotel up the road in Puerto Morales after a week at Desire and even though it is a really nice hotel..it was a buzz kill...once you get rid of your bathing suit you'll never want to put it on again.
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Re: First timers

Postby Calicouple69 » Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:02 pm

The longest we've stayed at DRM was 10 days, the shortest 6, the rest between 7 and eight. We thought we'd be ready to go home at ten days, but nope, it was still a drag to go home :(

We've talked about it extensively and bot agree, any length stay would definitely be fun, but due to the length of flights from where we are, we definitely try to make our stay as long as we can!
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Re: First timers

Postby TayAndA » Sat Feb 23, 2019 8:20 am

My husband and I (early 30s now, late 20s at the time) booked four nights at RM and four nights at a vanilla resort for our first trip. All of our subsequent Cancun trips (~5 nights each) have been only at Desire. We love socializing and meeting people at Desire, but at the end of the day we're pretty introverted, so it can get exhausting after a while. Assuming we had more than 5 nights for our total trip (I'd never stay less than 5 nights at Desire!), we'd do an additional two nights or so at a vanilla resort to decompress after Desire. Our absolute favorite is El Dorado Royale - it's huge, the food is AMAZING, and it's great if you want to chill, recover, and EAT after your Desire stay. Plus, it's adults only :)

Regarding Pearl versus RM - my husband and I prefer RM, but would never turn down a trip to Pearl if that was the only option. The decor at RM is a bit more modern, and we prefer the layout with the rooftop hot tub. They're both very small resorts, but Pearl is a bit more spread out, making it easier if you want to get away from the party scene for a bit. Both have great food. As many have said, a lot of the overall vibe depends on the crowd, so while in general RM can skew a bit younger and have a bit more of a nightlife feel, it could go either way depending on who's there.

Hope this helps!
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