Trip Report 7/28 - 8/1/21 - Vanilla/Newbies

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Trip Report 7/28 - 8/1/21 - Vanilla/Newbies

Postby SpicyVanillaCouple » Wed Sep 22, 2021 6:18 am

Trip Report 7/28 – 8/1 – First Timer/Non-Lifestyle

Since this forum was so helpful to us as we prepared for our first time to Desire RM, we thought we’d pay it forward by relaying how our experience at Desire went. As the title suggests, we are a non-lifestyle couple in our mid-40s (H – 48, W -44). We had previously been to Hedo on a day/night pass as our resort in Jamaica just happened to be next to it and we were curious to see what the scene was. We’d also been to Caliente in Tampa for four days, so being nude around people wasn’t something that was new to us (but was a difficult, but short, adjustment when we first stripped down at Hedo!).

For some additional info, we have been together 24 years, and married 21, with two beautiful children. We are not only husband and wife, but also best friends (as in 100 out of 100 times I’ll turn down a guys’ night to hang with my wife and vice versa). We love to travel and are adventurous.

Admittedly, I’ve (H) been intrigued with lifestyle for about 7-8 years, and we’ve discussed it numerous times, but each time W was adamant she would “never be in the lifestyle” but enjoyed being on the fringes of it and the sexual energy that it created.

We’re going to try to keep this short (edit, I failed!), but it might be difficult, and we’d also like to tell our story from both of our perspectives:

Our Trip

(H) Obviously when going to a resort like this, especially as first-timers, there is bound to be anxiety and second doubts as you are arriving. As has been discussed numerous times on this forum, we also thought it important to communicate a set of rules to follow on this adventure of ours, and as you can imagine for a non-LS couple, we had plenty! I thought of every scenario I could think of and then asked W for a Yes or No to each. This started at talking with other couples (I know, silly!) all the way through to is a “full swap” on the table (again a silly question, given our status, but I tried to cover everything). I was just excited to feel the vibe and energy and spend the next 4 days in erotic bliss with my best friend!!

Getting into Cancun airport was not too bad and the company that took us to Desire made it nice and convenient. Pro tip: If Desire doesn’t have the type of alcohol you like to drink (you can email them for their list) pick up some bottles at the Cancun airport and give them to the bartenders – they were great about and made us plenty of tasty drinks with our favorite vodka, Tito’s!!

(W). Upon arriving at the resort, I surprisingly felt comfortable almost immediately. We were excited to get our stuff to our room and to start exploring the grounds.

The Resort

(H) The resort is off the beaten path, along with several other spots, but when you arrive at the lobby and thru doors out near the stage, I could just feel the energy in the resort and the stress slipping from my body. There were people milling about, and faint sounds from the pool, but it certainly wasn’t like walking straight into what I’m sure a lot of first-time, non-LS couples expect…naked bodies writhing over each other in pleasure (sorry to say!).

The grounds are very nice, and constantly maintained, and I really liked the way it was laid out as more of a community than a resort/hotel. As a tip for trying to avoid the sales pitch, we had already decided to tell them since this was our first time and we didn’t want to waste even a minute of it on a sales pitch. We said if it is good enough, it’ll sell itself and we’ll be back to listen to the sales pitch on our 2nd visit (and we truly meant that, if we came back).

The pool is small, but cozy, and except for the pool foam party (which was incredible!), it was never too crowded and always just the right mix of people, drinks and conversation.

Additionally, I thought the food was very good as well, if not always the biggest portions (which now that I think about it, who wants to be too full while your naked and/or trying to be sexy!)

The resort is very well maintained and laid out in a way that is intimate and cozy. The pool is small but nice and you can meet many different people there throughout the day. The bartenders and wait staff around the pool are amazing. The playmakers do a great job of initiating games poolside and it is fun to watch if you don’t want to participate.


We had an Ocean View room on the 1st floor right next to CC’s (New?) Bar. The view was incredible and allowed for us to take some pics for the family that looked like any other nice resort! The room itself was nice, but small (we found out later that there is some variety of room sizes, even among those that are labeled as Ocean View). However, that is not much of a concern, because you are only in your room for a relatively small amount of time to sleep/shower (and maybe one other thing…but you don’t need to be in your room for that either!). I liked that our room wasn’t in the middle of things, although we certainly were!

(W) I loved our room, it was small, clean and cozy. The only thing I wish it had was more shelf room in the bathroom, there wasn’t much room to put toiletries. The view couldn’t be beat though and the bed was comfortable.

The People (Guests and Staff)

We’ve been to many other resorts, of various ratings and in various settings. I can probably count on both hands (maybe only one!) how many times we’ve walked by another couple/family and there was even eye contact, let alone any conversation. At Desire, it is probably impossible to walk by someone, guest or staff, without getting a smile and a sincere “good morning/how are you”. It was absolutely refreshing and just makes the entire experience that much more enjoyable. It is hard to put into words the vibe that surrounds that place, from the outgoing people there, the daytime flirting and getting to know people, and the sexual energy that just permeates the place. If I wasn’t unsure of the reactions of our friends, I would tell every couple we know they should visit…just for the vibe, if nothing else.

The “playmakers” are great and do a good job of getting people involved, even though most of us didn’t want to be involved. The bartenders were great, if not a little overwhelmed at times. You could tell they knew returning guests, and their drinks of choice and by the end of our time there we were getting that same treatment.

(W). The staff is superb and attentive and most people we met were friendly and outgoing and just there to have a good time. You saw all ages, shapes and sizes and almost everyone was smiling.

The Lifestyle

(H) As we mentioned earlier, we are a non-lifestyle couple. W had a previous play time with another wife at Hedo, and we had side by side sex afterwards, but this the extent of it and we were ok with that. We went to Desire to be together, enjoy the atmosphere and maybe watch and be watched.

We met quite a few sexy, fun couples while we there, some in the LS and some not. A lot of the people we met were not, but some had a curious interest in it (like me), while others were there strictly for the atmosphere (like W), which was very sensual. The wife and I did end of talking with an experienced LS couple on our first full day there. I know the wife had some trepidations about getting too cozy with a couple in the LS because we didn’t want to lead them on, so we let it be known early on that we were not in the LS and didn’t have any intentions to be. We ended up going to dinner with this couple, then the party and disco (which is a blast when it gets full). After the disco, the adventurous among us (and there were many!) made our way up to the jacuzzi for a night cap and some adult fun. We were planning on going up there each night, as our main erotica for the trip was to be exhibitionists and voyeurs, and we had heard that is the place to be for that. After getting settled, I went to grab some drinks for the four of us (yes, we were still hanging with the couple from earlier). When I came back, my wife and the other wife were in the jacuzzi shower together and I had a tough time keeping my eyes in my head! Since something like this had gone down before, I just sat back and enjoyed, but wasn’t overly shocked. We had our rules (and by our rules, I mostly mean HER rules), and this wasn’t against them LOL! After their shower, they joined us on the edge of the jacuzzi and continued to caress each other…so hot!! A moment or two later, my wife leaned into me and whispered (“you can touch her too, if it is OK with her). I was stunned, not for the last time, at that and after asking her I began to caress the other wife, while the other husband ultimately did the same with mine. I guess having three different sets of hands on my wife was just too much for her, as she got up and said, “let’s go to a bed and fuck” (and image and statement that will forever be ingrained in my mind!). After the initial shock, my beautiful wife looked at me said, yes it means what you think it means!!

I won’t go into details, but that experience is everything I dreamed it would be and more. Watching my beautiful wife of 20+ years just let herself go and thoroughly enjoy the naughtiness of the moment was absolutely incredible. As I have looked into this lifestyle, I always felt we had the kind of relationship that could not only handle it, but thrive in it. However, you never know until it actually happens…and damn, I was right!! Not a shred of jealousy between us, just pure enjoyment and satisfaction. When we were done, we went back to the room and had sex almost until sunrise, with both of us having more orgasms than we could count!! And the next day, no feeling of regret, just amazement.

I truly believed we could do this, and grow stronger, but I know the wife was skeptical. I now know she knows it is true too. I know she shocked herself by even going down that path, but I’m sure she is even more shocked at how much she enjoyed the experience! She enjoyed it so much she led the charge to do it again, with someone different, for the rest of the trip. While we didn’t ultimately play with another couple the rest of the trip (I think being completely inexperienced on how to go about it didn’t help, but we did learn a few things for next time). We did end up playing with the couple that initiated us into the LS (and a side note, we couldn’t have had a better couple, from a personality and understanding our situation standpoint, than we had for our first time…if you read this, thank you!).

So yes, we did break pretty much every rule in our book (including the no one back to our room rule…we had quite the session the last night in our room!). I think we enjoyed breaking them all. While I have told my wife we are now in the LS/Swingers, I don’t think she’s quite ready to admit that out loud (or maybe even to herself!), but that is OK because I saw and felt how much she enjoyed it!! At this point, I think we will do it again and I would like it to be a more frequent thing, but at this point she is comfortable just being “vacationers” (AKA Desire Swingers) and that is fine by me. I’ve been trying to get her to try it for 7-8 years and now that I know (and she knows) she enjoys it and it has had nothing but a positive impact on our relationship, I am willing to wait until we go back to Desire to do it again. Yes, we are absolutely going back (we decided that even before things got “interesting”).

(W). I went in with plenty of rules because I have always liked being on the fringe of things and getting the excitement from that. On this trip, I just kind of went with my gut and if the vibe felt right for us, we went with it and if it didn’t then we didn’t. Communicating with my husband is the most important thing. We need to be on the same page 100%. I feel that our experience here definitely brought us closer. When we go back, I will say that we are going to trust our guts/and the vibe again and see what happens.



This report isn’t about being the LS or not, but obviously it is all around you at Desire, which is why you go (whether you admit that to yourself or not). If you’re new to clothing-optional, new to watching sex in person, new to all of it and you don’t know whether you should go…just go!! If nothing else, the entire experience and atmosphere can do nothing but bring the two of you closer…I have no doubt about that. I would absolutely recommend setting ground rules, led by the ladies of course, but be prepared to adjust on the fly...Desire just has that effect on you. At this point, I had pretty much given up on the idea of us ever doing a full swap, but by day 2 on our trip my gorgeous, sexy wife was on the prowl for more couples to play with…I’m still amazed by that, two weeks later!! The whole experience has just increased my love for her, which I didn’t think was possible!.

If you’re on the fence, don’t wait to book, book now you absolutely will not regret it!!

(W)I think this resort can provide anyone with whatever experience you are looking for and maybe you don’t know what that is. If nothing else, it’s a way for you and your partner to become closer. I never felt any pressure or uncomfortable. If you are on the fence, I’d definitely recommend giving it a chance.
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Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:32 am
Location: Mid-Atlantic
We are from: USA
Will be at Desire: Riviera Maya
We arrive on: 28 Jul 2021

Re: Trip Report 7/28 - 8/1/21 - Vanilla/Newbies

Postby gntatdesire » Fri Oct 01, 2021 9:31 am

Great trip report, especially including the perspective of both spouses.
And it's often said "more couples leave Desire now in the LS, than arrive".
And ladies rule (and break their rules), as was mentioned in your report :L
When does flirting become foreplay?

No regrets, except why did we wait to have so much fun!
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We are from: USA

Re: Trip Report 7/28 - 8/1/21 - Vanilla/Newbies

Postby marinha » Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:13 pm

That's one of the more exciting trip reports I have read. Your situation is the same as ours, and you outcome is my perfect fantasy. I hope things turn out that way when we go!
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We are from: USA
Will be at Desire: Riviera Maya

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