Newbie's 1st time--December 2022

[trip1]

We arrived in mid-December after great excitement and fanfare. We were as prepared as possible after reading blogs, watching anything available on YouTube and having honest conversations. Stealing the idea from numerous trip reviewers, we’ll be writing this review from our individual perspective. We’ve decided to break the review down in several categories.

Accommodations
Man/Husband:
It was very clear upon arrival that accommodations were not the strength of this resort. If I had to describe it in a word—satisfactory. There was nothing special about the rooms, the bathroom, the shower, or any other aspect of the space. The bed was comfortable, the shower and toilet were fine, and the room was clean. The shower fit two, but it would be nice if there were two shower heads. The sink top is pretty small and doesn’t give much area for toothbrush, makeup, etc. As we’ve all read, and you’ll read again in this review—this place is NOT about the accommodations. We chose the garden view room which is the least expensive. I can’t imagine that moving up to the next rung would be worth the money as most of your time will be spent elsewhere. 6/10

Woman/Wife
The rooms were very basic; decent, but no frills...and overdue for updates. Hopefully this will be something that they prioritize soon. In my opinion, the room (even if you're seldom in it) is part of the overall experience and a detail that shouldn't be overlooked. A sexy place should have sexy rooms to match. I noticed there was some expansion construction going on while we were there. Hopefully the new units will drive them to address the older ones. But, despite being antiquated, I found our room to be pretty clean which is good. One thing I didn't care for was that the balcony was shared instead of private. Our neighbors were sitting outside of our room talking bright and early every morning.

The grounds are simple but pretty featuring several native trees and flowers. The gym was a nice size with all the basics.

The food there is just ok. Some standouts were the breakfast buffet (with the best French toast and fresh squeezed juice mixes I enjoyed) and the dinner we had at Sahlo. If you eat at Sahlo, ask for a cappuccino martini. They're delicious and have a very interesting presentation.
Drinks were weak overall unless you asked for double liquor in them, so keep that in mind.
The pool area is nice but small. If you're a person who wants to swim, this is not your pool. It's more of a hangout area for mingling, games, etc. For those who want to just relax and read a book or take a nap this area was busy and noisy. It would be nice if they had a separate pool or area for that.

Their beach is small too. They have some places for people to lay on the beach but can only fit a small group of people.

Entertainment
M/H
I would distinguish two different types of entertainment: the pool entertainment driven by playmakers along with guests and the outsourced nightly entertainment. The resort has a sort of flow that sets up an informal daily schedule. After breakfast, which typically happens between 8-9, everybody pretty much lounges around the pool—yes, most nude or near there. Around 11, the playmakers try to get the party started with sexy pool games. Another playmaker walks around the pool and beach area blowing a referee whistle soliciting volleyball players. Depending on the mood of the ‘crowd’, the games can be fairly entertaining or quite a bore. The playmakers make an effort to spice up that part of the day. By the way, all of the playmakers are exactly what you would think—young, attractive, and sociable. This is also when most people start to take advantage of the all-inclusive alcohol. *Tip-Always ask for double alcohol in your drink if you want more than a teaspoon.

The nighttime entertainment is more formalized and is outsourced to various bands or performers that set up near the lobby bar. After reading several blogs, I was convinced that there was a bar in the lobby—the lobby bar is just outside lobby exit. This bar is where I did most of my damage during theme/nightly entertainment. Sadly, I was not very impressed by any of the entertainment. 1st night-missed most of the entertainment due to our delayed flights and arrival. 2nd night was Wild West themed and brought with it a Latin country band and dancers. The band was just barely average, but the dancers weren’t bad. 3rd night-Glow night was followed by a circus like performance involving a large hula-hoop and metal ring. I could continue but you get the point. The entertainment was pretty mediocre but that doesn’t mean free, fun-loving, vacationing, drunken people can’t make the event into a good time. My advice to the resort would be get a good DJ, play popular songs, invest in lights, and set the playmakers lose. 5/10

W/W
I found the shows to be decent. I didn't see anything that blew my socks off...or any must see performances. I was more into people watching and drinking cocktails than the shows anyways. Shows were usually a combination of live music and then some kind of dance show or acrobatic performance. Sometimes it would be just a dance show with 'disco dancing' before and after. Drunken dancing is always entertaining.

The playmakers are all very nice and friendly. I think they have just the right amount of interaction with the guests. They get folks to engage without being too pushy. The problem I saw was that it was hard for them to get an array of people to participate in games/activities at the pool sometimes because most just wanted to relax. But that's to be expected with an older group of people.

Service
M/H
Every blog raves about the RM service. I wasn’t wowed by the service itself, but the personnel were great. They were all helpful, attentive, friendly, and clearly wanted every guest to enjoy themselves. The restaurant servers were professional, knowledgeable, and provided great service. I guess my failure to be wowed comes from our room service breakfast order (we had quite the previous night, so we opted for room service one morning) being wrong. The server arrived with half the order, then when I mentioned that we had ordered additional food, he initially disagreed. He looked down at the receipt then seemed a little thrown that yes, we had indeed only received half the order. Bonus points for quickly arriving back to the room with the rest of the order. One morning, we had finished the last bottle of water and ordered 4 more bottles. The server arrived with 2 bottles that were warm enough to have been filled by the hot tub. We learned that just walking to the restaurants worked much better for us than room service. 7.5/10

W/W
The staff is just as fantastic as everyone said they would be. Super friendly, and helpful. Room service left a little to be desired though. And we never saw our concierge Eduardo again after the first day of meeting him. The last thing I remember him talking to me about was trying to enter some kind of drawing. This was the 1st experience we'd had of any kind of pitch.

Theme Nights
M/H
This was my favorite part of the day for many reasons. The pool seemed to be more of a lounge area or for those interested in participating in the games. We never really made it to the hot tub at prime time as I wasn’t sure my wife was game for that. We tried the disco once after one theme night; the music selection was to be desired. Theme nights belong to the ladies, this is where they really shine. These really show the creativity, sexiness, and true freedom of the resort. For me, it’s the sexiest time as most outfits leave a little mystery and make you completely forget you saw the same people completely naked a couple hours earlier. This is when the alcohol really flows, and you might witness a large tight wearing shirtless Santa dancing with a middle aged, sheer top wearing librarian. You might also find a curvy sassy granny wearing a thong under a see-through red dress. This is all happening while a slightly drunken (or maybe more than slightly) barely clothed woman grinds on her newfound friends. The interesting part is you can look around and just imagine these people in their real lives: Insurance salesman, stay-at-home moms, elementary school teachers—no matter, everybody is having a ball with no judgement. 9/10 (Stop altering the music, play it as made)

W/W
To me, theme nights were the best part of the experience. I loved dressing up in my costume for the night and going to see what everybody else came up with. There were varying degrees of creativity, but most everyone seemed to participate. It's a good place to sit back, enjoy a drink, people watch and even dance and sing along to the music occasionally. Each theme night came with a themed performance as mentioned before. Sometimes there was a live band, other times it was just a dj. The DJ could use some more variety in his music. Whether at theme nights or at the disco, he played the same EDM/house music all the time. There were some great songs that are go to party songs that were for some reason remixed into EDM oblivion when they'd be way more successful in their original form. I told my husband that maybe there's some kind of cost thing involved there. Maybe it's cheaper to buy the remixed version than the original or something.

Nudity
M/H
I didn’t expect to need much adjustment to people walking around in the buff or walking around that way myself, but I was pleasantly surprised at the uneventfulness of it all. I’d say it was only periodically that people were walking around the entire resort naked, but it did happen. At the pool and beach, most people (70-75%) were naked while an even higher percentage of women were at least topless. Ages ranged from 30-70, most in the 40-55 range. There were all kinds of couples; old married couples, old man/young woman, husband/girlfriend, and various body types. There were small, large, fake, real boobs along with any sort of penis that fits your fancy. The best part is nobody seemed to be paying much attention to what god had given who and if they had decided to enhance that or not.

We didn’t spend much time at the hot tub during peak hours but made a visit there on a few occasions. We witnessed couples taking advantage of the nature of the resort and had a touch of fun ourselves. There was no nudity in eating areas although there were plenty of coverups serving as clothing. It’s also a great place to take in the quiet and relaxing nature of reading a book on the patio first thing in the morning without having to find a robe. 10/10

W/W
Although nudity (or the option of ) is a main part of the experience as expected, I found that I could've done without it. This place is clothing optional, and I’d say the majority of the people opted out of wearing clothing. I was not one of those people until the last day. And even then, it was just on the patio at my hotel room for a short time. I found that it didn't really do anything for me. I was hoping that seeing everyone being so uninhibited would rub off on me, but it didn't to my husband's dismay. He on the other hand was immediately all in as expected since this trip was his idea anyways. As for me, just being in my bathing suit was a struggle. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of the many in the forum that arrived apprehensive and felt comfortable shortly after...but everybody is different. For those who do want to take part in the nudity aspect, this is a very safe place to do so. Not once did I see anyone trying to photograph anybody else or act in an inappropriate way towards anyone else. There are always staff/security around watching to make sure that this is the case.

Best part
M/H
The complete and utter freedom of walking around the way god made you and seeing others completely enjoying themselves with no shame or judgement. A week of relaxation, drinking sexiness and great sex—only thing left in heaven is good food and sports.

W/W
Uninterrupted, much needed R&R with no kids and connecting with my husband.

Worst part
M/H
There is very little beach left in this area, which is quite a bummer for a mid-state resident. I wish there was a drink menu so we could have enjoyed exploring interesting creations instead of, “give me something fruity and strong”. I wish there was a quiet pool; maybe I’ll try Pearl next time.

W/W
-Attempted sales pitches: although not as bad as I had read, they were a ‘plenty...for everything from massages to boudoir photoshoots. The salesmen and saleswomen were always very nice and respectful and even threw in a "hey beautiful" to butter you up a little bit before they delved into their pitch. However, some require more than one "no thank you" before truly moving on. I understand they've got a job to do and that's part of it, but I don't like paying for vacation and essentially receiving live spam through most of it. They should find a much less invasive way to present the information.

-Live unsolicited porn hub moments: No judgement to the grown folks doing what grown folks do, but it was a bit much for me. These moments were very few. Although they were expected, this didn't make me any less taken aback.
-Lack luster food/music: Food and music was hit and miss...but mostly miss. However, it's nothing that a few tweaks can't fix.

The night owl critters: There are raccoons and a couple of other things that come out and make themselves at home late at night...and they are not at all shy. They come out around disco time (and sometimes a little earlier) and belly up to the bar like everyone else. They don't seem to bother anyone, but I’m still not keen on them.


Overall
M/H
The place and experience were as advertised. Needs an update within the next 3 years. Could use a little more imagination in the entertainment area. Might consider changing up the theme nights with a bit of creativity. That said—the best parts outweigh the worst parts and the room for improvement. If you are thinking about it, do it. If you are on the fence, get off. There is really no reason to be nervous or afraid. If you have an open mind, you’ll be fine. If it’s not your thing, you’ll still have fun. 7/10

W/W
Despite the small hang ups, I did have a good time there. However, I think the nudity aspect isn't for me, but I'm happy for those who choose to embrace it and find freedom in it.