Our biggest concern was the erotic nature of the resort. Obviously the resort is all about enjoying/appreciating sexuality. We were just worried that we were going to be walking into some nonstop orgy where we'd have to elbow everyone out of the way just to grab a drink. I'm sure there were plenty of orgies going on (more power to you!) but it wasn't in our face. In fact, it was such a laid back and fun atmosphere you almost forgot (I said "almost") people were naked. We both breathed a sigh of relief once we realized people weren't as intense about it all as we thought it would be.
We fumbled around our first day, not knowing where to look or go and also giggling like kids because we were seeing a bunch of nekkid people but once we got a feel for the flow of the resort we laid back and enjoyed the ride.
Our room was clean and much bigger than we thought it would be. We had the cheapest room we could get which was "Garden View." And it was much bigger than I expected. The room could do with some artwork and possibly a small couch but that's just me being picky and also wanting to have sex on a couch is always fun. One fun little sidenote, as we're unpacking and setting up our bathroom an actual snake crawled out from under the sink. Apparently it was some kind of poisonous snake, we had the staff get it out. We took it in stride, these things happen, so just remember to keep your door closed. I was a little annoyed that our room phone and coffee maker didn't work. We asked at least 4 times for them to fix these things during our week long stay but they never did. Again, take it in stride. I don't expect things to be perfect. Also, for the ladies- NO COUNTER SPACE for make up. Be ready for that.
I know everyone complains about how watered down the drinks are. I'll have to agree, the drinks were weak, but I think that might be a good thing. I'm not much of a drinker, but when I drink I'm pounding shot after shot and end up a hungover mess. The way they watered down their drinks made it so I had a good buzz most of the day and pretty drunk towards the end of the night but I never had a hangover.
As for the themed nights, I think they dropped the ball on this one. None of the theme nights were over the top, they were either too specific or too generic and I didn't see that many people into it. I still recommend dressing up for it but don't be surprised if the other guests don't go all out. DEFINITELY do fancy dress up for dinner. It was awesome seeing my wife dress up as the hot-sexy/slutty wife I always imagined her to be! And guys....Don't get lazy. You are there to help her look hot so dress up for her. I was really annoyed to see some sexy lady walking around in practically nothing with her schlubby hubby in shorts and a polo. Come on!!!!
The Disco wasn't our thing. We tried, we really did. We both actually got onto the dance floor but I guess we weren't drunk enough so we hung out for a bit and eventually wandered off...
That's ok, we learned something amazing. While everyone was at the disco we snuck off to the Jacuzzi. I gotta tell ya that was one of the best experiences in my life! No one was around except for another couple or two and we hung out and after a few more drinks she finally worked up the courage to get naked and jump me while we were in the jacuzzi. So that became our routine, hang out and enjoy the day and then fool around in the jacuzzi or the beds with only a few people around. Totally worked for us. By the end of our stay the wife was brave enough to walk around topless in the evening on our way over to the jacuzzi so we could fool around, loved it!
I can't say this enough, there were all kinds of people at the resort. Most of us were in our late 30's to 50's with a bunch on either side. The younger ones kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I just got the feeling like they were a little arrogant and were there to show off. I actually had a better time hanging out with some of the older crowd because they were there to have fun and screw around. Regardless, everyone was super cool.
Sometimes I get the impression that this forum spends a lot of time focusing on the ladies and rightly so. BUT guys sometimes get overlooked so here's my advice:
1. If you have a hairy back/chest and you're self conscious of it, shave it off. You'll feel better about it. If you don't care that you're hairy NO ONE else will care
either. I saw a good mix of both. Me personally, I was a little self conscious and just took off what I could and blended it as best as I could. I was cursed with
regular body hair as well as this shitty fuzz that makes it very obvious that I shaved.
2. It's ok to look, just don't stare. Or at least don't be creepy about it.
3. Dick size. If you got it flaunt it, if you don't... welcome to about 95% of all the guys there and flaunt it anyway. Trust me, we saw plenty if innies and outies
and no one cares. If they do care, then stay away from them because they're no fun at all. Me, I wore shorts the whole time unless I was drunk and in the
jacuzzi but even then I stopped caring so much towards the end of our stay.
4. Bring a fair amount of shorts. I wasn't thinking and packed a few swim trunks and a bunch of jeans. Yeah, not my brightest moment I know. Totally regretted
that. I actually felt awkwardly overdressed even in shorts, lol.
5. I said it earlier, dress up for your lady. Wear some nice slacks and a good button up shirt with nice shoes and color coordinate with your lady. You are there to
show off your lady, dress the part!
If you're an introvert, push yourself. Go in with a good attitude, drink a few drinks, joke around a little and if you're not in the LS drop hints early on in the conversation. That way your feelings won't be hurt if they politely wander off after a little while. It took me a couple of days to figure that one out. No hard feelings to anyone in the LS but it does suck thinking you're making a new friend when really they're just feeling you out.
One last thing. I haven't heard anyone talk about this so I'll officially call it the "Desire after-effect" Once we left the resort and were hanging out at the airport we would both randomly start visualizing everyone naked. No joke, caught us both off guard. We could actually sit around and on a whim we could literally see everyone naked. Yeah, that was fun
Desire was worth every penny, can't wait to be back again!
