Context: F30/M36, non-LS, first time to a clothing-optional and/or lifestyle resort. Her first time to any all-inclusive / he's been to many (Cuba, Dominican, Mexico) before.
TL;DR: We had an incredible time, and can't wait to come back as soon as possible.
Oh boy, where do we start? This was a honeymoon trip for the two of us, and arrived at DRM two days after we got hitched to celebrate. We were surprised by how many people felt that Desire was an odd honeymoon choice, but for us, the ability to be present and physical with each other as much as we wanted, and practically wherever we wanted was a priority, and this trip delivered. That being said, we both feel our communication and boundaries are strong, and had we not have had that strong foundation, I can understand why a Desire honeymoon could be a straining experience for some -- we also heard tales of folks springing the trip on their (non-LS) partners as a surprise... yikes!
While we are not (currently) in the lifestyle, we have long fantasized about voyeurism/exhibitionism in particular, and in the last year, we have shared a lot of fantasies/dirty talk about her being with another man or woman, with or without me being involved. This fantasy certainly amped up leading up to the trip as we got more and more excited, but a few days before we departed, we decided to not play with others on this trip, but instead to take it all in and focus on each other. This was the 100% right decision for us, and at no point did we feel that we were missing out -- this came from newbie nerves in part, and also part related to having just been married and feeling strange about immediately thereafter dipping our toes into the lifestyle.
Nudity & Comfort: The first day, we both had nerves about completely shedding our clothing, and she wore her (more reserved) two-piece while I wore my trunks. By mid-day on our second day, the trunks were gone, as was her top. She left her bottoms on for most (but not all) of the trip, as seemed to be common for a lot of women there, at least by the pool -- the jacuzzi was a different story! Whether we were fully or partially clothed, at no point did anyone seem to go out of their way to notice or comment, and we felt fully comfortable at all points regardless of what we were wearing. The first time I walked out without trunks on was a confident feeling I don't know that I've ever experienced, especially while naked. I wasn't in a hurry to put my trunks on for the rest of the trip, and look forward to the freedom of full nudity at similar events/trips in the future.
Theme Nights & Costumes: Leading up to the trip, I spent a small fortune on lingerie and costumes for the wife from Yandy/Fashionova/Schein/Amazon. While she laughed a little at the idea of the theme nights ahead of time thinking they were silly, we both ended up having so much fun dressing up and leaning into the themes. In general, I would say about 70-80% of the women would get dressed up for the themes, and around 50% of the men. Some went "all out", whereas some were more subtle/subdued, but in the end we had such a good time seeing all of the different outfits, and they made a good ice breaker for talking to other couples and complimenting them/asking about their costumes. On one of our more "subdued" outfit nights, I think one of the most enjoyable compliments we got was another couple remarking on me slipping my wife's skirt off on the disco dance floor so that I could show her off more. Our favourite themes were (in order) Greek, Glow, and Lingerie, and these seemed to be the nights that most people also gravitated towards. Sadly, the leather/BDSM night was the night we arrived and we were so tired by the showtime that we didn't make it out for that one.
Food & Drink: Easily some of the best resort food that we've had -- and we've both spent most of our careers working in bars & restaurants. The wife is a vegetarian/pescatarian, and at times we found that the options were slightly limited or repetitive (only so many nights in a row you can eat salmon), but overall we weren't hard-pressed to find options that we both really enjoyed. For the A La Carte restaurants, Suki (sushi) and Kahlo (Mexican-ish with a steakhouse slant) were our faves. We couldn't end up getting a reservation for the teppanyaki tables at Suki, but the a la carte menu was excellent, with food options just as good or better as many sushi spots here at home. Drinks all around were good -- expect lots of upselling to bottles of wine or spirits, though. Jesus @ the main pool bar was incredibly friendly, as was Africa (cabana server).
Weather: Obviously not Desire-specific, but a note on rain: of the 7 days of our trip, we got rain on probably about 5 of them. Being that it is September/rainy season, we expected this going into the trip, and I'd even spent extra for the first time ever on trip cancellation insurance given that it's also hurricane season. On most days, the rain came in very short spurts, and lasted 10-15 minutes before passing completely. Only on a couple of occasions was there thunder/lightning that prompted the staff to get people temporarily out of the pool. Maybe 2 of the nights, the evening show was moved from the main lobby (covered but prone to be impacted by rain) up to the disco. Overall, I'd say expect for a bit of rain to be present, but not for it to impact your trip or experience significantly!
Non-vanilla experiences: We set our expectations going into the trip that we were there exclusively for each other, and that play with others wasn't on the table -- my wife was to set the pace, and she had my blessing ahead of time to revise her boundaries as the week progressed, and experience what she wanted/when she wanted, our hard limit being that we will always be a same-room couple. That being said, an initial pool massage train turned into her making out with a few folks from both sexes on a couple of occasions, and was incredibly sexy to watch and participate in. We thoroughly enjoyed having sex on the next bed over from another couple from Tampa that we'd sat beside at dinner and had been flirting with, which was made sexier when a second couple joined them on the same bed and joined their fun. There were a couple of experiences of us taking turns pleasuring each other, propped up on the side of the jacuzzi and with an audience that were also highlights for us... needless to say, we checked a lot (if not all) of the boxes we'd hoped for going into the week
Excursions: Most of the advice we'd received ahead of time was that it was better to stay on the resort rather than venture off, OR if you were wanting to do excursions, to tack on a day or two at the beginning or end of your trip at somewhere less expensive, and to experience those things then. We now concur. We did the Catamaran tour to Isla Mujeres the one day, which ended up killing almost an entire day for us, and aside from the boat ride/snorkelling, was basically 3.5hrs spent feeling "stranded" on an island with a mediocre bar, buffet, and beach lounge chairs. Had we have known this ahead of time, we wouldn't have ever left RM.
Airport Transfers: We booked our flight & hotel with a Canadian tour Operator (Sunwing), and included with our trip was a shared airport transfer, which we'd skip on a future trip. When we arrived in Cancun, we spent the better part of an hour waiting for the transfers to be sorted, and then eventually take off to our resort. There were only two other couples on our bus, but the length of time waiting for the bus, and the length of the driveways to get from the main highway to the resorts killed far more time than we wanted. The airport to DRM is approximately a 15-minute drive, and for the drive back to the airport, we pre-reserved an Uber which ended up costing us about $25.
Other tips: Join external chat groups. I can't overstate just how huge of a help this was for us! With being nervous newbies, and also slightly introverted folks going into the trips, these groups where such a great way of breaking the ice and getting to know many of the other couples going into the week. It made introducing ourselves so much easier, and it was mainly the folks in that group that we ended up spending a lot of our time around throughout the week, and hope we can continue to connect with many of these amazing people on future trips to RM and otherwise.
Overall, such an awesome week for both of us. We've already begun trying to find the time/budget to allow for us to return! That trip won't come fast enough.
PS: If anyone knows what the scent is in the RM lobby currently (I've emailed to ask), please let me know!! We need this at home.
