Newbie Trip Report January 21-28/2011

[nurse6]

Ok well here it goes. I am a very open minded person and knew what type of resort this was going into it. What I didn't know, was how we as a couple would deal with it.

First of all, I drank too much and that usually means I will do something crazy. My poor sweet husband usually has to babysit me when I drink and Desire was no different.

When we arrived we were a little shy but quickly enjoyed being able to remove our clothes. Very sexy atmosphere, great staff, great drinks, wonderful food, beautiful room and grounds. The resort was one of the best I have ever been to.

Most of the people we met were very friendly and we enjoyed making new friends...shout out to my buds who watched my back, literally! My husband was renamed "Kevin Bacon" and I love it! However..... we did have several encounters that were not planned. We had boundaries that neither of us would get physical with anyone else. I broke those rules first and my husband was fine that I kissed another woman. We also ended up in a room with 2 other couples that we had agreed we would not do, but the alcohol involved..........when my husband kissed another woman I did not expect to react the way I did, which was to promptly leave and take an entire bottle of champagne with me to my room and give him the cold shoulder for close to an entire day. I am so very sensitive and he did hurt my feelings. He tried to apologize but it really just has to be forgotten....after all, look where I dragged him! I hate myself for being such a girl, but there it is.

Another night that was not quite as fun was when we were sort of taken advantage of in the hotub. No one asked us permission to touch either one of us and permission was not given. We are nice southern folk with manners so we weren't sure how to handle this without being rude so we just avoided certain areas of the resort.

To wrap it up, this resort was not our cup of tea. I think we may be Naturist. I loved being naked, I loved the staff, I loved the food, I loved the resort. We met some cool and some not so cool people. I will try Caliente next couples trip.

My advice to other newbies: If your not a swinger, go to Hidden Beach or other nudist type of resort, save yourself some discomfort, fights, and hurt feelings. And don't drink too much!

[tout.prest]

Nurse,

Thanks so much for sharing your experience at Desire. It is very important for people, Especially newbies, to hear these kind of reactions to the resort.
It is definitely true that the resort is "not for everyone" and it will be reassuring to many to hear that they are not the only ones that have glitches.

Drinking can often be the root cause for many "problems" that couples may encounter. It has happened to most of us, at one point or another, where you look back and wish you hadn't drank as much as you did.....Myself totally included ! Nothing detroys the "boundaries" discussion quite like alcohol.

I can appreciate your lack of wanting to be rude, but being groped by someone in the hottub (or anywhere for that matter) without permission is totally inexcusable and I hope/wish that the offenders got what was coming to them !

Sadly, It is true that you may have a hard time returning to desire unless all the emotions and issues get sorted out between the 2 of you. I wish you luck with that.

Again, for those planning their first trip, this is the kind of report that they really SHOULD read, so I thank you for posting it.

Steve

[miranda]

Thank you, nurse6, for taking the time to write of your experiences. I, and hubby, know too well about the effects that alcohol can have (I'm the drinker, he's the lonely guy in the corner or at dinner while I sleep it off) and I have vowed to us that I will never drink to that extent. It's no fun for either one of us.

Having said that, I'm sorry you didn't have a great time at Desire and that it caused some uncomfortable feelings and experiences for both of you.

Perhaps, over time, you both will come to an understanding - you have lots to talk about - that you may try Desire again - but you will know your limitations and boundaries will be more clear.

We are not in the lifestyle, we love to be nude, and have not had any "bad" experiences at Desire (the hot tub incident is totally creepy!!).

We will continue to visit Desire resorts because, for us, it just "fits".

If you go to Caliente Caribe, we'd love to hear all about your trip. The place looks and sounds lovely.

Thanks again!!

[Cali_desire_cpl]

Thank you for the very "candid" and honest trip report. Every trip we have made to Desire, we have seen couples argue, fight, and even scream. I think communication is a huge key in the decision to go to a resort like Desire. I know you and your hubby talked about boundaries before the trip, which is a good thing. You didn't mention your ages or how long you have been married. We see most problem occur with younger (20's - 30's) or newly married couples. I know too well how alcohol can cloud my judgement and I have "strayed" from our agreement from time to time. For people new to a lifestyle resort, it is tough when you get yourself into a "situation" that makes one or both of you uncomfortable. We have been there done that. We have developed "key words" that let each other know that it is time to get out of there...lol.
As far as the uninvited groping in the jacuzzi, unfortunately there are some people that feel that if they are" hard core" free for all swingers then everyone at desire must be like them. I have had a few stern "conversations" with guys who, without asking, have came up and groped my wife in the jacuzzi or disco......that is not cool. We are sorry to hear that you guys won't be returning to Desire. Hopefully it helped you guys solidify your "boundaries". I wish you good luck in your future travels

Terry

[tikihutguy]

We are also not lifestyle people and having had 3 trips with a 4th coming this summer we have never had a problem. In fact we have never heard a fight (maybe we're in bed too early?). If you check the polls you'll find most people are not lifestylers, but various versions of naturists, voyeurs, partiers, etc. You will find some of the same mix at Caliente Tampa. Can't speak to the situation at Caliente Caribe as we haven't been, but will fill you in after next week's trip to Caliente Caribe!!!

[Whoneedssunscreencpl]

We also appreciate you posting your report as it really brings to light some of the issues that can come up. We had our own little spat on an earlier Desire trip and it was kind of a reminder of some issues in our marriage that we needed to address. We came through stronger on the other side.

Desire can take a very strong marriage to higher heights but it can definitely reveal the fault lines in a weaker one. The environment can also magnify personal insecurities. Maybe the two of you will take what you learned from your first Desire vacation and make some positive changes because of it. And maybe there will be a second Desire trip and it will be the best of your life!

[nurse6]

We are 35 and 37 and have been married for 11 years. We had hurt feelings at Desire, but came home re-united and stronger. I still don't think we should put ourselves in that situation again where we could hurt each other. I am looking forward to hearing your report about Caliente Caribe Tikihutguy!

[tikihutguy]

Will do! Looking like a little too much rain in the forecast, but mid 80's and hopefully the tropical rains that come and go quickly...