Here’s the 1st of hopefully many trip reports from this Aussie couple. We won’t bore you with the information that’s covered in the main forum and hopefully entertain you with the ‘best bits’. We came with no expectations and were thoroughly satisfied with the experience.
Food
Meals were awesome in Il Piacere. Steak & lobster were sensational. It's an extra $40 for the steak but so nice we had it twice! The teppanyaki at Suki was delicious. Just don't have lunch that day, you need to leave room for this. There is sooo much food - we even skipped desert! The buffet was pretty good – we always found something decent to eat at each "theme" night we ate at (Italian, Mexican, Steak, International etc...). We were impressed with lunch - can't possibly go wrong with fajitas every time!
Pool
Pool atmosphere was great. Started out all chilled and relaxed (perhaps everyone was recovering from hangovers!) then Hector and his Ho’s came out to entertain us. Well, perhaps we provided the entertainment and they provided the encouragement. A big thumbs up to B & J who volunteered (or were coerced) into every poolside game from the moment they set foot at the resort.
Poolside activities were fun but more fun to participate in so if entertainment staff ask you to join in then do it! Water volleyball was the best fun however Hector's refereeing was somewhat controversial. Some people were mildly upset, but if you just go along with it, it’s really funny. Just make sure you’re on Hector’s team and you’ll win every time. As an added bonus, Vanessa blew me each time before I served!
At the pool we did notice a "shark". He would slowly paddle laps with sunnies on, staring at the poolside ladies. Then he would slowly walk around the pool "rubber necking" so obviously. There's nothing wrong with looking, but this was really creepy. He was flying solo 99% of the time, I only saw his ‘lady friend’ once. It's a shame that people like that come here but at least it was only 1 guy & he was there for 2 days. He also made an appearance at the Jacuzzi where he metamorphasised from a ‘Shark’ to an ‘Octopus’. You didn’t know where he would pop up next, but you were guaranteed to feel him before you saw him! Not all sharks are bad though, I like the kind that swim between your legs blowing bubbles...(J)
Staff
The staff were all so polite, helpful, hospitable, and incredibly professional! Eye contact maintained at all times! They have a great sense of humour, very dry & witty. They were also great helping me with my incredibly poor Spanish (such as my request for ping pong balls at the Jacuzzi). The pool waiters had the hardest time trying to continually get everyone's drinks in the blazing sun. It was made harder when they had to go to the lobby bar as the main pool bar / hut was undergoing repairs. It could have been annoying with chainsaws & jackhammers roaring if you let it get to you. But we understood that they have to do repairs at some stage - they can't close the place! Staff bent over backwards to accommodate guests so the unavoidable construction did not faze us at all.
Disco
Music is a really personal choice. Some nights there would be an awesome set where everyone is carving up the dance floor, only to have it killed by something Latino that was way out of left field. The DJ would recover in a couple of tracks but by then the buzz was kind of killed. On our last few nights the music changed dramatically and the ‘music de jour’ consisted of Michael Bolton power ballads mixed with some Kenny G or so it seemed. Like I said, it’s a personal choice. Don’t be afraid to request songs if you’re not a fan of 80’s love songs and dedications.
Playroom
So if the DJ kills the music, you can always head into the Playroom, where the 80’s music is replaced by 70’s pubic hair on the big screen. Not that we were really watching the TV ourselves, but something more recent might be a bit more of a turn on.
Here’s some advice for the beds; 2 on the bed is great but there's wasted space... 4 together is just perfect! 6 of us was a bit of a tight squeeze and severely restricted movement so I'd maybe stick with maximum of 4. We had the same previously mentioned shark on the bed next to us trying to reach in while we were playing. R got rid of him with a firm ‘No thanks, we’re right’. At one stage he was also seen loitering in the play room alone, just waiting for some couple to join in with! Creepy.
Jacuzzi
Great place to mingle, chat & play with new friends. Just one note - guys if you have had a fight with your wife, don't come to the nude hot tub alone wearing boardshorts and start up small talk with others who may be there as a small group and clearly have some physical interaction going on. You have so much opportunity for small talk at the pool during the day so use that time - don't ignore others all day & then try to talk to us at the hot tub just because you are alone. Even worse is when you do it at least twice in 5 days. So guys just a friendly advisory there! K & R, A & K, B & J, you know who we’re talking about.
We also saw the same "pool shark" up in the tub just grabbing whatever he could. Nothing discrete about it. My girl was about to punch him out at the next grope. We ended up blocking the corner of the jacuzzi so he couldn't come in & grope the girls.
Bar closed at 3am which sometimes came quite quickly, but on the odd night we were staggering down the stairs at 5.30am, where a little Mexican dude jumped out from behind the bushes to come and collect our towels. Very efficient and somewhat slightly creepy. Be very careful on the beds, one false move and you could end up on a collision course with the wooden frame work…..yes, I was the girl with all the bruises!!!!! But I dare say I had the most fun!!
The Jacuzzi was also an educational experience for many of us. The logistics of L’s cockring had us all perplexed until he gave us a lesson on the application of the above mentioned ‘ring’. We squirmed and squealed with delight watching A attempt to fit the contraption but we were drowned out by the groans and winces of the guys!
If you're ever bored at the Jacuzzi, I highly recommend try doing the YMCA with only your legs while sitting on the bar. Body shots also go down well, male and female, Baileys and chocolate sauce never tasted so good!
Theme nights
I must admit, due to lack of preparation and an unbelievable workload before the trip, we didn't really bring enough to get into the theme nights. It was still very entertaining watching all the sexy ladies including one very hot soccer mom who won the sexy cheerleader contest! We didn't go to the disco every night, some nights we went to the jacuzzi early & enjoyed the peace and quiet for a while before the PJ (Thanks C & J) infiltrated the water. Next time I will definitely prepare some outfits and throw myself right in the midst of the theme nights. Eyes Wide Shut was canceled while we were there, something about not enough people there, but based on the crowd, I would say at least 10 couples would’ve participated. Oh well, can’t do anything about it.
Overall, we had an amazing time at Desire. We met so many wonderful people and already have plans to catch up with some. We are planning to return next year, but it would be a lot sooner if we didn’t live 17 hours away by plane! Thank you to everyone who made out trip so memorable! You are all wonderful people who we are proud to now call our friends.....with benefits.
x
E & A
