We questioned writing a trip report because our experience was similar to almost all other trip reports, at least the positive ones and many of our positives and negatives echo previous reports. Yet as they were so helpful to us, we figured we would do our part for the new forum. It is long however.
Ahem:
Smooth and quick flight from Miami to Cancun; right through immigration, waited 10 minutes for the transfer established by DennyP Travel (thanks for everything Denny) and within 20 minutes we were at the resort, getting fitted for bracelets on our ankles. Early check in, not sure the value here, but perhaps when we return. Not sure the name of the young lady we checked-in with, but she was very nice and moved us through the process very quickly, yet slowed her pace when she needed to broach the apparently uncomfortable question of whether we were swingers or not, as there was another bracelet we could wear in addition to our normal guest bracelet. A fine idea I presume, but what about those who are, as has been discussed on these forums repeatedly, “swayers” or wannabes or notsureabes or drinkingabes. So there we are, cornered, question on the table and we needed to make an immediate decision: does the bracelet mean any form of swing or just full swap, yet a followup question to her seemed futile. So much of a decision to ponder when there are open bars and naked people everywhere just outside the sliding doors. We filled out a form also asking about the kind of music we prefer at the pool and disco with a full gamut of choices; presume this was to make people feel better and more than likely ended up in the trash, as it is difficult to image them inputting the data into a statistical program to determine probabilities of most acceptable music. Moving on to the next table with high-energy Nash giving the quick layout and overview of the resort and rules. She politely asked about the timeshare/members meeting and when we declined or wavered really, she dropped it and as we saw here several other times, she never brought it up again. Finally through the check in process, after all, it is 4pm and we have not had a drink yet.
At this point, we still have trepidation, nerves building, we ended up in the hot tub building 1000, ground floor facing the entrance and parking lot. The room was, well, fine. Small, king bed when you walked in, walk right past get to the bathroom. Minifridge that never really got cold. TV with porn. We assume there were other channels, we never did check. The bathroom was fairly large, nice big shower but my, what a waste of space in the shower. The shower stall was at least eight to ten feet long and three feet wide. However, the shower pressure reached less than two feet. Like pouring a glass of constantly changing temperature water, showers were an adventure. Guess we should have requested another room, but we did like being right by the stairs to head up to the hot tub lounge for drinks.
As the first night we were late for the pool, we headed right up to the hot tub, still with nervousness trailing us, we started to drink and drink. Met some great people there, again, as has been said, the people. Although we are normally reserved and like to wait out a situation, the conversations came to us and we fit right in. And drank. The conversations spread from lifestyle to the arts to the resort to sports to number of trips. And drank. Not a lot of action in and around the hot tub, some pushing the no intercourse rule in the hot tub, but even if we did care, kind of a difficult subject to bring up. And drank. The hot tub began to empty around 7pm yet there were still quite a few people in there. We decided to move our individual party to our room, had some fun, and then the booze set in. Toiling with our motivation. With a “let’s nap for a few hours, then get dinner and then the night club”, we awoke at 7am the next morning. Saturday theme outfit still lay folded in the suitcase.
The above is more of a lesson as we spoke with quite a few who fell into the same drunken sleep trap. Allow us to move this along:
Dining:
- Dinner: Fine. It was good, sushi was quite good, we dined at the steak place twice, had appetizers once and upgraded for steak and lobster the next; 40.00 USD a head; but it was a good steak and the lobster was not cooked that well, but it was still pretty good.
Lunch: Again, fine, the cheese is actually very good and you can get whatever you want at the grill station with steak fajitas for us on most days, one day good steak, next with a lot of fat and chew; like most all inclusive's, hit or miss, but there’s drinking to be done and never want to eat too much anyway.
Breakfast: Similar to any other hotel brunch we have had where we have stayed. Egg station, no shrimp or salmon, but plenty of bacon and the bread and other foods from the night before mixed into new foods for the morning, very common.
Pool: Everyday followed a routine because who wants a change when it works so well. Pool early and there we stayed all days. Eye openers at 8am, moved to frozen drinks at 11, beer in the afternoon and hot tub, wine and gin at night. We followed a routine of absolute drunken and sexual madness. Astounded by our shiftlessness and our motivation to meet and greet at the same time, we fit right in. The entertainment crew, heaven bless them, because this was a laid back crowd, at least I assume. “Hey guys, pool volleyball”! “Naw, drinking, sun, read.” “Beach Volleyball”! Naw, drink, sun, read, talk. Never had an issue with chairs, but we were always there early before 9 or 10.
Ocean: looked nice, never did get a beach bed as we never tried. Walked it a little, saw the gawkers and passerbys. Fascinated and quietly envious, they strolled and looked and turned away and looked again.
The people: People of course, as had been said so many times, were great. The vibe of the place, just gets people out of the shell. We are all sitting by a pool, naked, 11 am with a drink in our hands and five or six already down the gullet. There is an immediate rapport because we do have something in common, we are all at Desire, sitting by a pool, naked, 11 am with a drink in our hands and five or six already down the gullet. It was just better meeting people and it was truly not hard. Saying hello and a conversation would kick up. We met people from all over the nation and a few international with special acknowledgement to Middle East, Mexico City, runners from East Coast and the young business owners from Southwest Florida who had to leave early who sat at the lobby bar and chewed the fat with me for a few hours the day my wife was ill.
Night Club: well, we never made it much to the nightclub. We tried, prepped for outfits for her (probably the best part of pre-trip); for him, who the hell knows what he should wear. We tried one night, hung out for the evening entertainment, shuffled up the dangerous stairs with heals precariously holding on, watched the contest, tried to hang out, but always ended leaving quickly, running to the room for a not so quickie, heading up to the hot tub early. We went to the club a few times when we ran out of smokes and hung out on the balcony with the other smokers, perhaps our fondest memory of the club, again, due to the people. Perhaps next time we will endure the club for more hours as we presume it gets a little more wild as the night progresses, but the music, the crowds, can’t hear, wait for drinks, it’s too much like a regular club, which is perhaps why we never go to them. The hot tub even before the late night crowd was still a pretty good crowd. Tame for Desire, but wild for anywhere else. Naked conversation is always the best conversation.
The fact is, this place does something to you. The energy, the vibe, the attitude. Vacations for us mean we always push the boundaries of good taste and decency in a society, but we have never been to a place that not only looks the other way, but condones it, and the guests, the real police of the place, reward you for stepping further out of the norm. It is a place to reconnect as a couple and be 23 again (with less stupidity), no matter how faded your birth certificate. And everyone is young again; looking for a means to step out of the norm, escape the dredges of everyday living and act as if there are no consequences. It is difficult to describe, a feeling of freedom rarely found in life. The slowest pace imaginable, but the senses are overwhelmed.
Us, like so many, had our reservations. Not in shape enough? Would it be too much and cause a loss of a much needed and rare vacation? Just nothing seemed to matter to the other guests. Everyone seemed so secure. With cancer scars, c-section scars and beer bellies, at 70 years old to 25 years old. There was no difference. We were all one, for a few days of the year, or the quarter (for some of you lucky ones), we were all people stepping outside of the norm, doing something that we have never done before or trying to get that feeling you had on the first trip. The feeling you had when you realized that everything was just all in fun as this is not real life. This is a break, rather a sever of our normal life. Where you have two options: jump in headlong, or wait on the sidelines and be miserable and complain about the quality of the food, people having sex at all hours of the day and night on the patio where other guests have to walk past them to get to the main resort (ahem).
Yes, we like others, have already booked our return trip. We have rarely taken vacations with just us aside from a day or two, but again, all the trips to the Caribbean and South Beach and anywhere else we have been, nothing has the fire, the passion, the relaxation and the people like the place; the connection we felt there and the fun we had as a pair can be so rare, and the first possible time frame to reestablish that feeling we jumped on. We are scheduled for February 1 through the 3rd 2013 if anyone wants to connect ahead of time and please feel free to ask us any questions (although answers tend to be verbose as you can tell).
Tips:
- Bring as much of the 3.4 ounce sunscreen you can or stop off on the way; the lobby c-store has some but 8-10 ounce was about 30.00 USD.
Relax. Say hello.
Go with no intentions, expectations or humility.
Your trip is too short, no matter how long you stay.