Our Third Trip 9/21-28, 2013

[waab76]

9/21 Day One:
We got up before the sun to catch our ride to the airport. By the time the sun had cleared the horizon, we were munching breakfast in the international terminal and feeling sorry for all of the people not flying to Mexico. Our flight (American Airlines) took off on time and landed a few minutes behind schedule due to weather over the Gulf of Mexico. Immigration was a breeze, as was customs. We pushed through the timeshare drones - who seem to have gotten even more aggressive - and found our way into the Cancun sunshine. It took a few minutes for our TransBeach van to arrive (they were only putting one party in each van and there were two parties ahead of us), but once it did we were loaded in and whisked off to the resort.

Apparently there's been a lot of rain this month, so there was quite a bit of water on the road from the highway to the resort. The driver had to take it a bit slower, but we did spot a small croc by the side of the road. When we made it to the front door, Arcos grabbed the bags and we were ushered into the lobby, where we saw one of the other TransBeach couples, leaving us to wonder why TransBeach didn't put us all in one van and get us there quicker.

Check-in was a breeze and our butler Luis (we don't book unless we can get a members week from a friend) let us know our Deluxe Ocean View room was already ready - a pleasant surprise considering it wasn't even 1 o'clock yet. After saying hello to some friends from Montreal we met on our last trip, we went to the lobby bar for a drink while Luis grabbed the bags. He led us to building 25 - based on the early morning noise on our last trip, we wanted to be as far from the pool as possible on this trip - and got us settled in. The room had a wonderful view and a covered patio area complete with table and chairs. I'm sure we're supposed to share the patio furniture with the other four rooms, but it's right in front of our room and we haven't seen anyone else using it so far.

We trotted over to grab a bite of lunch - so great to see Daniel and Eldiberto - then meandered back to the room to unpack. Somehow the afternoon got away from us - I think there was a bit of rain - and before we knew it, it was dinner time. Luis had told us that Il Piacere -our favorite of the dining options - was still 10 to 15 days away from being finished but assured us that the full menu was available poolside, so that's what we went for. The food was just like we remembered - good enough to be considered excellent after as much alcohol as we'd consumed since our arrival.

We didn't have the energy to attend Leather and Lace night at the disco, so we went back to the room to crash. One important lesson we did learn regarding room keys: if you have any kind of key issue, take all your keys to the lobby. Fixing one key breaks your other key and getting a new key because you drunkenly locked both keys in the room leaves you with one functional and two nonfunctional keys.

9/22 Day Two:
The biggest downside to the Ocean View room is the early morning sun. It comes shining right in at the bottom of the black out curtains around 7am. Not awesome.

We rolled out of bed at about 10 in need of coffee and bacon, so we threw on only as much clothing g as we had to and headed for the buffet. We made a quick stop to see Rene, the beach concierge, and confirm that Luis had passed on our request to have a beach bed reserved close to CC and Africa's Place. Sure enough, he was holding the bed right next to the bar for us and informed us it was ours for the duration of our stay.

Breakfast was - as always - an adventure. The "smoothies" between the bread and the juice may look like smoothies, but they are actually room temperature, flavorless, and disturbingly lumpy. We later learned from CC that they are made from milk, fruit juice, and clear gelatin (for texture). The omelets were great, the bacon was bacon, and the coffee was a godsend.

I don't want this to be taken the wrong way - we always find more than enough good food to fill our bellies - but we often suspect that the kitchen staff is cooking from pictures. The food looks just like it should, but when you bite in, you discover that some very interesting ingredient choices were made. Were you expecting a black olive there? Surprise, it's a grape! Oh, did you think this was a pancake? Bazinga! It's round flat sourdough bread! Desire: come for the nudity, stay for the food adventure.

After breakfast, we retired to our beach bed and CC's fabulous frozen mimosas. What's not to like about champagne with a straw. There was much reading of books, admiring of the view, and drinking of champagne with a straw. Then it was off to lunch. A bit more beach time and then the coin flip to choose between napping and hot tubbing. The coin came up hot tub, so up the stairs we went.

When we got up to the hot tub, there were several couples having a grand time at the bar and one very jovial fellow actually in the water. Introductions were made and we were instantly part of the group. That's one of the most wonderful things about this place... There are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. Thanks so much to R&S who live just across town from us, A&M from the UK, and Mr & Mrs Heisenberg from Idaho for being our new friends.

We stumbled away from the hot tub and related debauchery with a promise to meet some of our new friends for a poolside Il Piacere dinner at 7:30. So back to the room to shower and dress, then back to dinner. I realized when the waiter set the lobster bisque in front of me that a white shirt and white pants may not have been the best choice, but I managed not to ruin my carefully crafted (translation: we boys don't work nearly as hard as our beautiful girls when it comes to disco clothes) Studio 54 theme night outfit.

After dinner, it was back to the room so the pretty little wife could change for the disco and then off to dance until her (ridiculously sexy) boots killed her feet. We abandoned the disco - and our disco outfits - in favor of pajamas and then went mapache hunting.

The mapaches - aka coatimundi - are the very intelligent raccoon-like critters that hang around the pizza oven end of the lobby bar after about 11:00. They come in four colors: masked (typical raccoon coloring), red, blue (grey), and kitty-cat-trying-to-be-a-mapache. The masked mapache has obviously been around long enough to have learned that humans like to feed animals who do "human things". It came over to us, stood on its hind legs, spread its arms and jaws out wide, then very deliberately put its hands in its mouth. We could almost hear it saying "Pizza goes here, people."

9/23 Day Three:
Up early today. We were out of the room in search of coffee and bacon before 9:00. Before leaving the room, I called the spa to set up an afternoon massage for myself. When you stay premiere, they give you two 25 minute relaxing massage vouchers. Since the pretty little wife doesn't like massages, I get to use both. Last year, I used both at once to get a 50 minute massage, but I was more than a little inebriated at the time, so I don't really remember how relaxing it was. This year, I've decided to do one early in the week and one at the end.

Anyway, breakfast was breakfast. Then there were beach beds and books and waves and champagne with a straw. Gustavo stopped by to let us know that he and Luis had made their weekend/weekday handoff and he was now the daytime butler while Luis was on evening duty. Then it was lunch. I had been having burgers for lunch because they were "safe", but today I opted for beef fajitas. I will never have a burger here again.

After lunch, we went back to the beach bed. I wandered over to the spa for my 1:30 massage - Stephanie did a wonderful job - and by 3:00, we were once again flipping the nap-or-hottub coin. This time it came up naps, so back to the room we went.

A few hours later, we rolled out of bed, got cleaned up, and decided to take a walk on the beach before sunset. The rain sent us running for cover before we'd gotten to the end of the property. We dashed to the lobby bar to wait out the storm with a few drinks and - two Jack-n-Cokes later - we were able to get to our room without too much more soaking.

We changed into dry clothes and when the sky cleared, we headed off to Suki for dinner. When we arrived on Saturday, Luis told us that the menu at Il Piacere had changed, but it was the Suki menu that seems to have undergone a major overhaul since our last visit. There now seem to be more sushi choices on the left-hand side of the menu and new entrees on the right-hand side. We were never huge Suki fans before, but now I think they're catching up to Il Piacere in terms of selection and quality. Also, what used to be a plain wall at the end of the large central dining table is now a fish tank. How cool is that? Answer: pretty cool.

After dinner, we seriously considered putting on disco clothes. We really did. We landed on something less "schoolgirl and nerd" and went for a stroll around the property instead. We got a drink at the lobby bar as the crowd moved up to the disco. We enjoyed the ocean breeze by the pool. We walked up to enjoy the view from the hot tub deck - which we had all to ourselves. We finally ended up back down by the lobby bar grabbing a couple slices of pizza and talking to the mapaches.

9/24 Day Four:
Well, it is now 9:15 on day four. I think today we'll be talking to Gustavo about getting a car to go off-campus tomorrow. Beyond that, I imagine we'll just be enjoying ourselves. Of course, I may not get around to posting this until later since the wifi at the beach bed seems to be much better than the wifi in our concrete box of a room.

[waab76]

And here's more info on the mapaches: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-nosed_coati

[tan44]

Thank you for your trip report.
It is always fascinating for us to read real time report.

[ironranger]

please let us know how the foam party is, and any advice for those that have never been to a foam party before.

Thanks

J

[tan44]

We PM you.

[waab76]

Apparently the very intelligent mapache is named Carl and he has a twitter account: @BirdsCancun http://twitter.com/BirdsCancun

[waab76]

9/24 Day Four
My typing didn't wake the pretty little wife and we didn't walk out of the room until nearly 10:30. I was a little surprised how full the breakfast buffet was at such a late hour. We ate our bacon and drank our coffee and then proceeded to our beach bed. It was another beautiful day with just a few fluffy white clouds trailing across the sky. Adolfo the tour guy stopped by to see if we wanted to join the catamaran trip he's putting together for Thursday.

Around 1:00, we walked back by the pool for a light lunch. As a bonus, there was a belly dancing lesson happening poolside and let's just say that the women who vacation at Desire know how to move. Thank you to M from the UK, A from two doors down in building g 25, the one we have been calling Ms Cowboy Hat, and the rest for making our lunch so easy on the eyes. Also, thanks to Jaime the grill guy for the delicious quesadillas.

After lunch, we returned to our beach bed to read and, in my case, work on setting up the @BirdsCancun twitter account. By 3:00 or 3:30, we were feeling a little overheated so we decided to seek shade. We wandered up to the hot tub bar, since there's always shade and a nice breeze up there. And Abraham the bartender takes such good care of us. The hot tub area was nearly empty and we were eventually able to grab the bed nearest the building, which is fully shaded by 3:00 and just a wonderful place to lay and watch the clouds go by.

Before too long, the place started filling up. After the third set of friends stopped by the bed to say hi, we decided to join them all in the hot tub. There were a few rounds of tequila shots. We met H&C from Costa Rica - I blame him for the second round of shots and she has a lovely smile - and J&P from the Netherlands - why the bulldog tattoo if you've never owned a bulldog? After lots of booze and lots of fun, we agreed to meet J&L from Idaho for a 7:00 dinner at Suki.

We dashed back to the room, changed, and made it back to Suki to find our friends waiting for us at the big central table. As we sat and talked and ate, A&B from Canadia decided to abandon their little table for two and join us. After dessert, the conversation was still going strong, so I ordered a round of 43 - a lovely liqueur that inspired the Week 43 group with whom we shared the resort on our previous visit. One round of 43 turned into two, which turned into more, which turned into 10:00. When we realized we were the only ones left in the restaurant and the staff was ready to shut down, we made our way out into the night.

And now for the part you've all been waiting for: the foam party. As I said, it was 10:00 and we were walking back to the room to change into something closer to nothing. The foam rig was set up near the lobby bar and the evening entertainment was still going on. All the furniture had been moved out of the little plaza and there were a bunch of fully clothed resort guests standing around the edge watching two topless ladies dance in the fountains. When we got back from the room about 15 minutes later, the entire plaza was covered in foam about three feet deep.

The guests seemed to be split into three groups. More than half of them were standing around the edges of the plaza fully clothed and looking vaguely horrified by the entire scene. A handful had waded into the foam fully clothed and were dancing and getting soaked. The rest had waded into the foam naked or nearly naked and were having a wonderful time dancing, bumping into friends, and helping out friends who had worn too much clothing into the foam. The pretty little wife and I entered the foam in nearly nothing and were quickly "helped" down to nothing by our friends. Luckily, we were able to find her beach cover up and my jaunty man panties (as well as the room key I had tucked into them) on the edge of the foam.

If you're going to be attending the foam party, there are a few things you will want to know. The foam is soapy and you will get soaked from head to toe. It's going to sting your eyes if you're not careful and, if you've got a boot-related blister on your foot like the pretty little wife did, the foam's going to sting that too. The depth of the foam is going to vary through the night. When the machines are on, it got almost six feet deep. When the machines turn off, the dancing causes it to spread and go flat somewhat. I don't think the foam ever really got below three feet deep. Also, there is a layer of foam liquid on the ground. This stuff is slippery, so don't get too fancy with the dance moves. I recommend putting your room key on a wristband or lanyard and charging into the foam naked.

Also, I heard some speculation during the day about what goes on in the foam. There is no orgy in the foam. Let's be clear, this foam is not an appropriate sexual lubricant. That shit's gonna burn if you try to get too frisky. Sure, there was a lot of close dancing and friendly touching, but really no more than on the disco dance floor and the guests of Desire know better than to get handy with people that they aren't already friends with. This is not the Euro foam party go legend where, by wading into the foam, you are declaring all of your orifices free and open to penetration by anyone else in the foam and even guys rears aren't off limits (yeah, we heard someone say that). This is the regular Desire disco dance floor, just outside, nude, and foamy. And it's a blast. I didn't see anyone in the foam who wasn't grinning ear to ear. The only people not having a great time were standing outside the foam. Dive in, people! This is why we come here!

After much dancing, we waded out of the foam, collected our cast off clothes, and went back to the room to shower off and hit the hay. It was a good day.

[waab76]

9/25 Day Five
Pretty standard day. Late breakfast. Drinks on the beach. Lunch. More beach. Retreating to the shade of our porch to drink lots of champagne. Dinner at Il Piacere.

We had our first truly clear night and there were so many stars to see.

It was lingerie night at the disco. We watched the lingerie contest (Hooray for Mandy!) and my pretty little wife turned more than a few heads with her outfit (and her shoes that seemed to defy the laws of physics).

[Johnny60]

This is not the Euro foam party go legend where, by wading into the foam, you are declaring all of your orifices free and open to penetration by anyone else in the foam and even guys rears aren't off limits (yeah, we heard someone say that).

Great trip report.. we can almost hear the waves washing gently on the beach and taste CC's Mojitos! Glad you are having such a great time..

We are regular visitors to Cap D'Agde, which probably has the ultimate foam or 'mousse' party. The above is not an accurate statement; it is not a free for all at all. No still means no and you are not giving yourself to anyone simply by dancing naked in the foam.. It is definitely lively and great fun.. as for the guy thing, never heard that before..

I just wanted to put that view over because the French 'mousse party' with 150 people or more is some experience and great great fun...

Enjoy the rest of your trip...

[waab76]

9/26 Day Six
Another morning of rising after 10:00 and making it to breakfast just before closing. The pretty little wife was unable to enjoy her coffee because four bugs decided it would be a good place to land. So we stopped by the lobby bar on the way back to the room and Abraham (when does this guy sleep? lobby bar in the morning, beach bar during CC's lunch break, then on to the hot tub bar...he works too hard) whipped her up a cappuccino to go.

We went back to the room and changed for the beach, which mostly involves putting on a lot of sunscreen. When we arrived at our beach bed, we were pleased to see that Africa was back from what I'm sure was a well-deserved vacation. It was so nice to see her smiling face again. The drinks just don't taste the same when she's not delivering them.

After a couple hours of sweltering on the beach - and getting another catamaran pitch from Adolfo - we wandered off to lunch. After lunch, we decided a bottle of champagne on our shady porch might be cooler than returning to the beach, so we went back to the room and rang Gustavo, our butler. Within minutes, a bottle of champagne (ok, sparkling Spanish wine isn't technically champagne, but this is naked Mexico and why split hairs?) came walking up in a bucket of ice with two glasses. While I was making phone calls, I also scheduled our lobster dinner for that night and my second massage for the next afternoon.

We sat on our porch reading and working our way through three or four bottles of champagne. A little after 5:00, I dragged the pretty little wife inside to do pre-dinner things and we walked in to Suki ten minutes early for our 7:00 lobster reservation.

Anyway, the lobster dinner was good - by naked Mexico standards. We ran into P&J from Montreal on our way back to the room afterward and agreed to meet up with them in the disco for "Bright & Tight Night" and continued back to the room to change. We totally failed. I'm blaming all the champagne and the incredibly dirty books we've both been reading all week.

[waab76]

9/27 Day Seven
We were up by 9:30 to start our last full day at Desire RM. Today, the breakfast buffet had what appeared to be bagels but were actually just interestingly shaped pieces of white bread. The food adventure alone is worth the price of admission.

After breakfast, we went to our beach bed. Africa took very good care of us, ensuring that we always had fresh drinks. We have found that we get the best drinks when we tell Africa to surprise us. That's how we ended up with frozen mango mojitos, "orange mas" (don't know what was in it, but it was frozen, orange, and yummy), and an Iceberg (a large blob of frozen margarita floating in a glass of beer).

We took break for lunch. Today's advertised ice cream glaciers were chocolate and coconut. We were fairly certain that the brown ice cream had some coffee in it as well. But they were also serving the very yellow cookies that seem to be made from the vanilla ice cream mix, which we suspect is made from left-over creme brûlée.

After lunch, I went to my 1:30 massage appointment and the pretty little wife went back to the beach. On the way to the spa, I had a rare daytime mapache sighting. The badger-faced mapache (white-nosed coati) was poking around in front of the rooms next to the spa looking for a snack. Luckily, there was a guest in a tiny green bikini who was more than happy to share her leftovers with the funny little critter.

I got to the spa and my masseuse this time was Alejandra, who took very good care of me. While the previous masseuse seemed to be following a script (5 minutes on the left leg, 5 on the right, 5 on each arm, 5 on the shoulders), Alejandra spent a lot more time working the areas that were really tight (my shoulders and lower back) rather than spreading the time out evenly and I really appreciated it.

After my massage, I returned to the beach bed, the pretty little wife, frozen drinks, and the latest Dan Brown novel. We usually abandoned the beach beds by 3:00 due to the sunshine creeping in from behind. However, today we waited it out and by 4:00, the palm trees and building behind us combined to return the beds to full shade, which made for a very lovely late afternoon.

We departed the beach around 5:00 to shower and grab a quick pre-dinner nap. We made it to Il Piacere for 7:00 and enjoyed a nice ocean breeze and the sight of a pair of cruise ships all lit up off shore along with our delicious food. For those of you keeping score at home, we did not have a single buffet dinner on this trip.

As we were leaving dinner around 8:30, we could see the band setting up by the lobby bar. Have I mentioned yet the new addition to the lobby bar area? They appear to have taken the old colored disco floor and built a permanent stage and DJ booth next to the bar. Which reminds me, the disco renovations are complete. They've replaced all the beds with couches, installed a larger "infinity" dance floor, and moved the pole off to one side. The play room does not appear to have been changed significantly, but who notices the furniture in there anyway?

So we went to the room to change while the band set up, planning to join in the casino night festivities at 9:00. Well, they got a late start on the casino stuff, which led to the auction starting more than 30 minutes later, which led to us getting bored and just going for a stroll around the property. We went up to the relatively empty hot tub and enjoyed looking at the stars from the lounge chairs. We wandered out to the beach and enjoyed the breeze. We even swung back by the lobby bar to say hi to the mapaches (about whom management has now erected a nice warning sign featuring a very cute piece of raccoon clip art). Unfortunately, the mapaches had been replaced by standard raccoons tonight. We told our friends from Montreal to party twice as hard for us and came back to the room to sleep off all of the champagne we'd consumed.

[waab76]

9/28 Day Eight
We were just starting to wake up and consider our 4:30 departure time when our butler, Gustavo, gave us a ring. He let us know that our room was scheduled to be occupied by another couple so he had arranged a courtesy room for us. That way we would have a place to keep our bags and not have to worry about showering and changing at the spa - which was our original plan. Once we got our bags packed, Gustavo stopped by to take our bags and show us the courtesy room. Room 2013 is on the back side of building 20 on the second floor. It may be the smallest room at the entire resort, but it's plenty big enough for our purposes today.

We have now migrated to our beach bed and obtained the first round of frozen mojitos. At 4:30, the TransBeach shuttle will be here to take us to the airport. It has been a wonderful trip and we're already planning our next trip. Anyone want to join us for New Year's Eve?