So our background is: 22 years married, both age 44, great marriage and madly in love, but always looking to keep the passion fire stoked and going strong. That said, we've never tried anything remotely close to this before. When my husband checked in with me about a month before our trip to say "how you doin with the idea" my response was "I'm scared shitless. You?" So we are writing this to hopefully help some future newbies because we scoured these forum posts before we went.
Summary in short: it was AWESOME!
Here's the long version:
1. First time naked in front of other people was at the hot tub. It was cool and rainy and we were cold. So the hot tub sounded good. I was freakin nervous walking the steps up there but when it came down to it, I just thought "Well I have 3 days- am I going to do this or not?" so I stripped off my clothes. I think my hubby was actually shocked because he was worried he was going to have to coax me the entire time. But I am SO much sexier than that!
Soon we were in the hot tub and I couldn't believe how natural it felt. Truly, the walls just come down when you are naked.2. Our best advice for couples is to communicate beforehand. We talked about what we were nervous about, what we were downright scared of, what we were comfortable with, what we fantasized about, what turned us on about the trip and what would damage our relationship if it happened. Because I felt so sure that he knew all that, I was so secure and so sure he understood where I was at that.... we went to the play room our first night! ... And every night after that!
3. We found the swingers we got to know to be among the most interesting people we've ever met, but the lifestyle is not for us. We had determined beforehand that this trip was about investing in our marriage and our sex life and everything we did should reinforce that goal. There is absolutely no pressure. I have never met people with such well-defined boundaries who respect others.
4. Theme nights were a lot of fun. Next time (oh yes there will be a next time!) we will get into them even more.
5. Just for the record (not that we expect that we set the record at Desire but...) we had sex 7 times in 1 day. I was pretty tired the next day.
But that just goes to show you what a boost this trip will be to your love life!6. Body image. I know it has been said before on this forum, but here it is again: it just doesn't matter. That's part of the awesome freedom of group nekked. You realize we are all pretty much in the same boat. I don't care what size you are. I have always been very thin but have always struggled with body image (oh and I have cellulite) and this was the first time I felt free. More free in fact than at the second resort we went to afterward where everyone was in bikinis. How weird is that? We women are sick-in-the-head about our bodies and this is your one chance to be free of it so take it! I was in awe of the older women or bigger women, and their confidence and freedom made them beautiful!
7. Foam Party. SO FUN! I was worried it would be a mosh pit and I'd be groped by dozens of strangers (maybe your goal and if so maybe you will find a different day it would be that way!) But we found it to be different from what I feared. It was just good clean
fun! There was one moment where another woman sort of grabbed my waist but I made a tiny movement where I pulled away- with a smile- and that was all that was needed. She apologized with a laugh and was off. We smiled and waved across the pool when we saw each other the next day. That's what I meant before about boundaries- the swingers may make a subtle advance but retreat immediately at the slightest hint. After all, if not you, they will find somebody more than willing!8. A note about the Play room: The boundaries exist even in there. One night there was a full on orgy going on near us with at least 6 people (could have been up to 8- it's really hard to tell!) I was not worried in the least that we'd get pulled in because of our previous communication, and the boundaries and respect I had experienced from the swingers we'd met and chatted with all day. Full disclosure: tequila shots were the key for me to get the courage to go in there. And none for the hubby. I needed a designated DRIVER. The first night we went in there I turned to him on the way in and said "Protect me!" [/list]
OK - this is the husband typing now. I just want to say, "My wife rocks!!!!"
See you all next February!!
