The (lack of) photo policy: The website gave us some confidence, maybe the forum, and when beautiful Reka checked us in to the resort and gave us little stickers to cover our phone cameras... well at that point we became completely at ease. Then it all went south. At least two couples constantly took pictures everyday at the pool. Perhaps this doesn't matter to many of you. We disguise ourselves well, but for this reason alone we probably cannot return. Complaints were ignored. There was a couple visiting who own their own upscale resort on USA west coast catering to public figures. They were- ok, she was- over the top gorgeous. Think Pam Anderson. Anyway I watched him complain numerous times to no avail. He eventually took to verbally calling out the photogs, and I actually worried they might come to blows. Sorry, I'm done ... now ...
The arrival: Remember Dudley Moore arriving in Acapulco in the movie "10"? This was my first time to arrive in Mexico by air. I'm not complaining; I'm smiling at the experience as I write this. But I was Dudley. As others have stated, the drive up to the hotel is underwhelming, yet reasonably charming. The lobby is small but effective. As we stepped out of our USA transfers van (yes, do it) we were met by Reka. Elegant, attractive, her accent was every accent. I suspect she speaks at least 8 languages. I think someone said she was from Romania. I'll bet she has received 10,000 guest arrivals. I could tell she was reading me. The sales pitch effort was perfect... meaning.... I'm mean c'mon they can't put commercials on tv for this this place so they have to try a little bit to upsell. Reka, it was the right amount... and you backed off at the right point.
The staff: You know how the employees at disney world call themselves cast members? Thats what I saw at DRM. I've seen complete assholes complain about something petty at disney and watched highly paid "cast members" stay in character while handling them. That was DRM. Exceptional customer relationship. This report would be far too long for a complete description. I think an army of staff start cleaning up the resort for the day at 4am. I woke up early one morning and headed to breakfast. Some poor guy is lying on his back trying to touch up some paint on a wall before all the guests come out. Yet when I walk by, he stops, jumps up, smiles, and says Buenos Dias. Even the guys sweating on the beach, raking up the seaweed, will stop working and say hello whenever you walk by. The guy, Daniel I think, at the pool ... look... how do I say this.... the first day you arrive and go out to the pool, give the guy friggin 20 bucks. He is going to work so hard to ensure you find your perfect spot... even if you don't tip him ... but ... shame on you. The woman who gets drinks at the pool ... ... ... I've been to numerous club meds, golden nugget, sandals, places with no name catering to VIPs... this woman was better ... I'm lying here with my junk hanging out and she's like there every two seconds.... Hola! Gustas Una? I'll get you anything... anything... just tell me what you want ... for heavens sake tip her!
Speaking of my Junk: Yes, I read the forum. They say bring sunscreen. The wife says, you better cover up. I exercise all the time outdoors. I know what I'm doing. Hon, I'll keep my junk in the shade. So then she's blowing me up in the jacuzzi (more on that later maybe) and I say ouch, hey no teeth babe! Then sure enough next morning in the mirror..... my dick is sunburnt!!! nuf said
The food: If I see one more report complaining about the food, I'll... well I don't know what I'll do. Stop it. First of all, if you focus on the food, you've missed the point about DRM. And second ... holy crap, there is so much variety at the buffets that if you can't find something you like you are sick, sick, sick. I've been on Viking, Holland, Venice Classic..... this is better. The display, the attention to detail... excellent. Almost a negative. I have a distinct lack of self control when it comes to good food. I actually preferred the upscale restaurant, Sahlo. Spectacular food in controlled portions. Perfect. I wish it were open for three meals a day. Dress up. Heavens no, they would never correct you, but don't be that obnoxious american.
The bars: Good god those guys work hard. They are fast fast fast, even with the dumbass gringos who say, well I'm really used to more blue curaco. The drinks are strong. The brands are top shelf. If you don't like it, he'll dump it out and make another, just tell him what you friggen want!
The room: It works. Everything works. The bed is comfortable. There is a place for all your stuff. If you need more than that, this is not the resort for you. Wait... let me put it in all caps..... IF YOU SPEND A SIGNIFICANT TIME IN YOUR ROOM, THIS IS NOT THE RESORT FOR YOU!
The music: The pool DJ was awesome. I read all the other reviews. Someone will say, oh there was too much of this music or that music. Shut... Up. Look, the DRM clientele is every religion, every country, every age, every race. Open your mind. Before I started this report, I was looking for some of the music I heard on this trip.
The activities: We were there for 4 nights. And five perfect days of lying by the pool and walking the beach. At first, when we heard people talk about staying for a week, or even two weeks, we thought, oh, thats way over doing it. Now that we're home, I'm not so sure. I'm kinda wishing we had taken out the hobie cat, the paddle boards, or the naked catamaran excursion, the naked scuba. Not to mention the off resort stuff.
The cliques and clientele: I had to mention this since it popped up in the forum and interested me. I can see how some might feel or sense this environment. Look, don't over analyze it. The thirty somethings with hot bodies will gravitate toward the other thirty somethings and they will party loud and hearty. Yet I didn't encounter a single one who would not happily engage us in conversation IF YOU MAKE THE EFFORT! Yes, don't sit in a corner of the jacuzzi with your wife and mope "no one is talking to us"
During our visit, we saw every nationality, every religion, every race. But mostly white, 50, american, UK, canadian, and latino. 75% fit, 40% silicone, but all Uber accepting. If you didn't connect, IT WAS YOUR FAULT (IMO). Look, in a crowd of introverted people, I would be introverted. I need a context. I like to talk about fourier transforms versus taylor series. Lets get into some recreational calculus. But my wife said go comment on her tits. So I did. The woman said.. youre so sweet. A latino couple lay on the cabana bed next to us. I think they were older than us. But her skin was beautiful. After a while, she turned so that her legs were up over the head of the cabana bed. Her husband kept his hand between her legs, gently stroking her pussy with his thumb.
A semi-negative: so on our second night we visited the playroom after the disco. We saw the hot chicago couple in there (hi chicago) and we loved the sounds they were making. My lovely wife in her hot dress that accentuated her gorgeous ass started to blow me. I moaned I guess somewhat loudly and the next thing I knew, some other latino couple plopped down between us and chicago. My wife mounted me, and I was like, well ok this still could be hot. He turned his wife and started banging her from behind. I felt her breasts and I was close to exploding. Then this woman moved her head down and started to kiss me. OMG. How do you describe pillowy lips. Like... Angeline Jolie... at 21? maybe thats sick.... um... think the pillowyest softest kiss you can imagine... ok? .. thats not enough. Oops. then I felt my wife stiffen. I whispered are you ok? no. Do you want to stop? yes. so I quickly faked an orgasm (hey guys can do it too) and we jumped up and left. I found out the guy had immediately shoved his finger into my wife's ass as soon as I was kissed. We never visited the playroom again. I take responsibility. Guys. Your wife is exposing herself. She is vulnerable. It is YOUR job to manage this situation. But to that guy...... that is too much for initial encounter.... #buzzkill
How do I.... ok, here's a story... While lounging by the pool, there was this asian woman with a guy I thought to be about 50. She looked about 28. 5'6" perfectly proportioned. No, I can tell you don't get it. Legs, ass, pussy, skin. I've seen britney, angelina, shakira. She was better. Perky tits. No, I see your picture... wrong.... she was perkier.... I mean her tits almost pointed vertical. They were clearly in love. I commented to my wife... well isn't that the uber couple... so demure. Later, during dress up, we're out by the lobby bar where everyone is gathering. My wife's ass is supercharged and getting attention. Our friends D&K (hi D&K) stop by. D and I are commiserating about our wives body worries. K, your ass was so beautiful to look at, how can you feel insecure? Then we go up to the disco. Asian woman is there and she promptly walks over to my wife, hugs her, and says so good to see you, while squeezing her ass. what what what? How did she even notice use? Her husband whom we'll call the professor wink wink whispers to me she's feeling down because she thinks she's gained too much weight for a women of 48? .... ... 48? 48? 48? (thunks head, mind blown)
Later that evening (I could go on for quite a while about the entertainment BTW, just ask) the disco floor is crowded. Asian woman is giving out blow jobs!!! to anyone who walks up!!! Oh stop you judgemental jerks she wasn't finishing anyone. I get it. This conservative scientist gets it. it was about complete freedom. feel good, make others feel good. Then go back to real life, sinch up your tie, and put your stick back up your butt.
That night, our last, we went up to the jacuzzi one more time. (Note to people who research... happy hour jacuzzi is OK. Post disco jacuzzi is much better.) You may find yourselves like us.... bland, affluent, americans, drifting through the warm water. We saw Beth, the foot slapper, (another long story (hi beth)) so we drifted toward them. To you geeks, I must emphasize again, you MUST insert yourself into the conversation... its you... not them. We began talking at length to the couple who grew up in the UK but moved to Denver. You told us you had lost count of your visits to Desire... between 14 and 20. To her..... you had me mesmerized...... I couldn't take my eyes off of you..... you were our age..... I wanted to hold you.... I wanted to ask what pleases you..... alas, my wife was not feeling well... I think it was that last drink provided by Beth, drat you Beth
... I couldn't even get your name ... I said, nice to meet you .... I have several more pages... but maybe you're bored?
It was so nice to meet you two! As for that couple that came in between us in the Sin Room, my husband refers to the guy as "Eyebrows". (Did you see his eyebrows?!) He tried touching me, too! They moved from the back of the room. My husband was going down on me and that guy grabbed my right breast--ok, not so crazy--but then he slid his hand down my body to where my husband's mouth was--wtf?!! He grabbed his hand and stopped him stating that that wasn't cool. "Eyebrows" acted all shocked. Dude, we've never met you AND you didn't ask to join us....creepy. So sorry your wife was touched inappropriately by him, too. That was our only negative experience over the 7 days we were there. Thanks for the trip report! 
Wow did we miss out. Hot I must agree!
