First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

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First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby Sophistigoth13 » Wed Dec 21, 2016 1:44 pm

When my (now) husband an I decided to come to Desire for our honeymoon, I will admit to being a little apprehensive. Not because I didn't want to go to a place like Desire, but because I felt like I really couldn't know what to 'expect' without ever having been to a place like this. I read some forum posts and whatnot, and that did help, but I also felt like my husband and I are not the typical Desire guests, being under 30 and not, as they say, "in the lifestyle".

We are open sexually (to new people and new experiences) and we are both bisexual. I was apprehensive about coming to a place where in the forums it makes clear that female bisexuality is hot and male bisexuality is not accepted, as this is the stereotypical experience many bisexual people have to put up with their whole lives. I was also weary reading reports of people having things stolen, and I was worried that I would never feel comfortable undressing because people would be staring (not because I think I'm SO HOT or anything, just many women are accustomed to the idea that clothes off = dudes leering).

I can tell you that within just an hour or two, my fears were almost completely relieved. Our room was ready when we checked in and after changing we pretty much went straight to the pool. Let me begin by saying that the staff at this resort are some of the most incredible people I have ever encountered. They work so, so hard all day long and they always have a smile and a friendly greeting. Many of the bartenders/servers even began to remember what I liked to drink without even asking. I know the website says that tips are included, but you should ABSOLUTELY bring money to tip these people as much as you can, because they are beyond lovely and wonderful.

I went to the pool with my bikini on, and within an hour or so I had my top off and felt completely comfortable. Literally no one cares what state of dress you are in, fully clothed or fully naked. There is a great diversity of body sizes and shapes, and everyone seems completely at ease. If you are like me and have a few extra pounds here and there, please do not fret that you are going to be out of place. Everyone is welcome and equally accepted.

The hot tub can be quite an experience depending on when you go and how much experience you have with such a thing. I will admit that it was a bit overwhelming for me at first. But the hot tub beds were a lovely place to be part of the action without being TOO much part of the action, and we enjoyed fulfilling some exhibitionist fantasies that night.

The theme nights are fun, and some nights we had costumes and others we didn't. It's fun to join in on the themes but no one really cares if you don't. In general, just dress sexy! I super LOVED seeing all the ways that people dressed up, and the amazing diversity of sexy outfits. There were ladies dressed in next to nothing who looked incredible, and ladies in dresses or bodysuits who were more covered who looked just as great! Again,it's really easy here to stay at your comfort level, without ever feeling pressure to step outside it if you don't want to.

Speaking of that, while this is a swinger's resort in some ways, it is absolutely not necessary to get sexual with other people. In fact, if you tend to keep to yourselves, most people just leave you alone. We did have our eyes on a few cute couples while we were there, but for various reasons it didn't end up working out. We don't feel as though we missed out or that we were weird or anything. We did see a lot of swapping and a few group sessions which were very fun to watch, but if you're not ready for that, please don't feel like you will be out of place. We did, however, learn that if you want to ask, you should really just go for it, because we definitely missed a possible opportunity by being too shy.

Our room was an ocean view room, and it was wonderful. We could hear the waves crashing as well fell asleep at night which was dreamy. The only warning I have is that there are no dark curtains, so if your room faces the sunrise, you will wake up with the sun!

The food here is amazing, and ALWAYS available. There are buffets to grab afternoon meals or snacks, and the restaurants are to die for. We ate at both Suki and Sahlo and both were excellent, again with incredible service. There was never a time that we wished for food and could not get it. And for drinks, they make everything and they make it well. And again, always available, always from such kind people.

The pool was always a highlight for us. The temperature is amazing and it feels very luxurious to lay by a pool being served drinks all day. Many people socialize a lot around the pool, but my husband and I are more introverted and mostly kept to ourselves. They have staff there they call 'party makers' and these people just blow my mind with the energy they have. They do games and activities all day and dance and hang out at the evening events. We loved all of them, they were super funny and friendly and playful and made a great time even more great. Also, they had live bands every night at the Melange bar, and they were all actually amazing. My favorites were the latin band and the pop band.

It's hard to think of downsides of this place. I didn't love the sales pitch for the time share thing. We said no when we checked in, but our concierge tried to stop us a few times through the week to ask us about it again. But it really wasn't a big deal. There was construction going on, but I barely noticed it. Even the construction staff were highly respectful and didn't really even pay attention to whether you were clothed or not. Everything was beautiful, everyone was nice, everyone was respectful, and the atmosphere was sexy, open, and very freeing to participate in.

We already can't wait to come back. On our last day, I asked my husband if he would want to try another resort next time or if he would want to go back to Desire, and we both agreed that while it may be fun to try others, we can't imagine a place that would suit us better than Desire. My only wish is that for the future, Desire will be more open to sexual orientations besides "straight". I would love a place where both my husband and I could more openly be ourselves without fear of judgement on that front. I have hopes that will come with time.

Feel free to message me if you are thinking about going to Desire but have hesitations, I will be very honest!

:CAN :US
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Re: First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby Sophistigoth13 » Wed Dec 21, 2016 2:17 pm

Also, if you have any concerns about staff stealing, I can tell you we accidentally left cash on a nightstand one day, and returned to find it still sitting there, after housekeeping had been through. These people are not thieves, at least certainly not anyone we met/encountered.
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Re: First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby Naturalfantasies » Wed Dec 21, 2016 10:14 pm

Great report!!! There are so many first timers that feel the same way you do. We have all had an amazing time there our first trip but always wish we would have been more involved and a little more confident in meeting other couples. It's so fun to read reports like yours, get us excited to go back again.
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Re: First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby edunlla » Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:18 pm

Wonderful trip report Sophisti

I feel what you are saying about many of the things. It is a wonderful resort but just like you we were very reserved on our first trip to RM. It was a wonderful experience but I felt like we left too many things undone from the bucketlist. We interacted with other couples (socially) and took in the theme nights and the playroom as well as the canopy beds beside the rooftop hot tub. We also did the Dr. Jess oral sex classes one week and Dr. Lisa massage classes which we highly recommend but we were never open or aggressive to the sexual side of things with other couples. Coming back for our second trip we were able to rectify those feelings of missing the chance to join the lifestyle. As for being bi, I just have to believe if it comes up in conversation when you are visiting with other couples you may be surprised how many people are open to it.

We came up with a neat plan for our pool time in the afternoon. We had our drinks in our hands and decided to go "Speed Dating". We just walked up to any and all couples and introduced ourselves and told them we are speed dating and we have only 10 minutes to get to know you. We kept the conversations upbeat and lively. It surprised even us that so many couples would come up to us later and either thank us for the introduction or they would ask to continue the conversation. The only hard part was remembering so many names. Introduce yourselves the the world's most fun bi couple. Could be a very memorable night.
Good luck on your return trip.
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Re: First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby HorribleFrenchAccent » Tue Dec 27, 2016 1:27 pm

Excellent report. We concur that the staff is amazing.

We had no concerns about theft. I carried a little wristlet with 20 dollars in tip money, a sunscreen stick, lip balm and my room key. I left it unattended all over the resort and even overnight at the bar. The staff took it to the lost and found, where we recovered it the next morning. (Next trip I will add some waterproof lube to my "kit." The hot tub water was a bit rough on my kooch!)

We brought about 200 dollars in ones and fives to be ready to tip. We generally left a few bucks after every meal and a dollar or so for drinks. In retrospect, I would have been more careful about tipping the fellows working the Jacuzzi bar. We tended to not have our clothes readily available and if I go back, I think I will start each evening by dropping some cash with them - especially considering the shenanigans performed by my sexy better half standing on the top of said bar. None of this is required - but these folks work so hard and are just warm and so kind.

You make a very interesting point about the issue of male sexuality. We were talking about it during our trip and we strongly suspect that this will begin to shift. The millennials and the Gen Zs seem to be much more fluid about sexuality and accepting of individual preferences. I can imagine that these younger groups are going to have more space for men to express themselves as the women in this community are free to do. I do not consider myself bisexual, but I enjoy engaging with women in the context of a sexual encounter that includes my partner. And while he has expressed no desire to engage sexually with a man, he would certainly not be offended to be approached, complimented or to know that a man appreciated him or found him to be attractive. I would not be surprised if the lifestyle community moves towards male interactions being as normalized as female interactions and this becomes as easy a topic of conversation as preferences for hard or soft swap, for example.
Athletic, fun couple in our 30s. Into exhibitionism and voyeurism. Just getting started in the lifestyle. Looking for friends and fun!
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Re: First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby Siren » Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:40 pm

Such a wonderful trip report! I so love reading these reports through the eyes of newcomers. We will be on our 15th visit come March, and I can still relate to the feelings of excitement, nervousness and a little anxiety.

I agree with everything you said...the staff is absolutely second to none and have become our extended family. The food has always been great and the entertainment staff is amazing. I also love the "speed dating" idea mentioned by the other couple.

As far as bisexuality for both half of the couples, pfft. We also see that trend changing with the times and would hope that it can soon be discussed as easily as the almost expected female bisexuality.

Congrats on your marriage, btw!!
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Re: First time trip - December 14-19, 2016

Postby Sophistigoth13 » Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:20 am

Thank you for your comments everyone!

You've given us some good things to think about for next time, because there will definitely be a next time! I am also extremely heartened to see you all share your openness to sexual diversity. I too have felt we are moving in that direction and it makes me feel nice to know I'm not alone in that thinking.
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