Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

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Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Mon Dec 18, 2017 12:16 am

So I'm trying to do that thing again where I do the trip report as the trip happens. More of a trip diary than a trip report, I guess?

Anyway, it's roughly 9PM here in the Pacific Northwest. We're planning to leave the house in the wee hours of the morning to catch our early morning flight to Texas, connecting onward to Cancun. We've already got confirmation that we've got the first class upgrade on the second leg and we've got our fingers crossed that the upgrade will come through on the first leg as well.

This is either our 7th or 8th trip (depending on how you want to count our trip last year that was split between Pearl and RM), but we've got lots of firsts lined up. This is the first time we've ever had to book our own transfer from the airport. It's also the first time since we moved to the left coast that we're not taking the red eye out. It's the first time we've basically waited until the day before we fly to do all our packing (so we might have forgotten a thing or two). Finally, it's our first time being at Desire at Christmas time (we'll be checking out and flying out on Christmas Eve).

By this time tomorrow, we'll either be cutting a rug in the disco or passed out in our room. Either way, we'll be home.
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
waab76
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby lovecouple » Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:29 pm

Plz keep reporting.

First timers.
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:25 am

Day One: Travel, Arrival, and Probably a bit too much sparkling wine

We rolled out of bed at 2am Pacific Time, got out of the house for 2:30, and staggered into SEATAC for 3:30. Got our bags checked, made it to the gate, and boarded for our non-first class flight to DFW. Four hours later, we shuffled dead-eyed through the Dallas airport and checked in for our first class flight to Cancun. While on the ground in Dallas, we got confirmation that our transfer to the resort was booked. And if you’re following along on the Twitter (@BirdsCancun in honor of the old logo), you will already have heard about our airplane that thought it was in Denver.

We landed in Cancun a little before 5 local time (12 hours since the alarm went off that morning). The immigration line was certainly longer than we were used to since we generally red eye out of SEA and arrive in CUN on the first flight of the day. But once we got to the front, we breezed right through with our home-printed forms from that New Mexican government website. We got the green light at customs and plowed through the timeshare muggers to meet our transfer, Lux VIP or something like that.

The driver got us to the resort in no time flat and as we strolled into the lobby, we started counting all the things that have changed since our last visit the previous September. There was no Arcos waiting by the front door to welcome us home. Inside, the lobby had a new coat of purple paint. They gave us the traditional glass of Welcome champagne. We got a stronger than usual pitch for a pitch, which we declined. Then they sent us to the lobby bar to wait while they brought our luggage around.

We got refills on the champagne and were quickly whisked around to building 22 to get settled in our Deluxe Ocean View Room. We took the opportunity to get cleaned up and change for dinner. We toddled over to Sahlo and managed to get seated despite not having a reservation. Dinner was exc lent (beef carpaccio, lobster (langostine) bisque, and the filet). After dessert (crepe brûlée for him, disappointing chocolate bomb with excellent ice cream for her) we returned to the lobby bar to await the evening’s entertainment.

As if I wasn’t already being long-winded enough (a tendency that will no doubt slip away as the week progresses) I am going to go into a bit of detail here because it was BDSM night and we are a decidedly kinky couple, so this was potentially da ply relevant to our interests. The entertainment started with Anna, the extremely tall Russian from the entertainment staff, being laid out as a human dessert buffet. They covered her in whipped cream, chocolates, and cherries and then invited first the women, then the men, then everybody up to come partake (no hands allowed). Our fellow kinksters will get a grin from hearing that by the end of the dessert buffet, all Anna could say was “green” over and over.

Following the buffet, Miss DiDi of the entertainment staff collected volunteer couples to engage in a game of basically truth or dare without the truth, largely centered around the St Andrew’s cross that had been put up on the lobby plaza. There was pulling of hair, flogging (with the cheap amateur floggers provided) of various body parts, ice, biting, and general light tomfoolery. This, I guess, is what they’re calling a “BDSM workshop” on the website. Not what I’d really been hoping for, but still a nice bit of light fun.

We adjourned to the disco where the the standard nightly stripper show was converted to a BDSM stripper show by having all of the dancers carry tiny floggers.afterward, the music started, the dance floor flooded with people, and all was good. With maybe a bit too much champagne in our systems, we opted to skip actually dancing ourselves and instead ran back to the room for some very loud and satisfying fun before drifting off to sleep.

It is now 11:20 on day two. We are settled into our beach bed (where the water seems higher than we’ve ever seen it) and I’m almost 100% recovered from my hangover.

Life is good.

As a stray observation, BDSM night seemed to bring out an interesting combination of people playing dress-up (and OMG some of you people looked amazingly hot) and people wearing very real (and clearly expensive) BDSM hardware. We’ve always been of the opinion that the swinger and BDSM communities have a lot in common. Participation in either group requires a level of trust, communication, and commitment to active, enthusiastic consent that the normies just don’t seem to know or care about. So pat yourselves on the back because if you’re reading this, you’re awesome.
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:45 am

Day Two: Hangovers, Garbled Lyrics, and Mapaches!

As previously mentioned, all the alcohol on day one had me feeling a bit rough on Tuesday morning. Gotta remember to hydrate, kids!

We got up and went to breakfast. Following that I went to talk to Rene about a beach bed hole Mrs went to the office to talk about why her key wasn’t working. Pro tip: if you’re having key problems, take both keys to the office. We learned this one the hard way a couple trips ago and had to make 3 or 4 trips to get our keys sorted. Beach bed secured and functional keys in hand, we went back to the room and applied sunscreen then headed out to our beach bed.

What can I say about the beach? It was cooler and windier than we had hoped, but still 9 million percent better than being at work. Though, with Africa working the pool area now, life on the beach is just a little less awesome than it used to be. Oh, we also noticed that they remodeled CiCi’s bar. It now has a raised platform with a railing all the way around it.

Around 2, we went up for lunch. As usual, I enjoyed the beef quesadillas. We did notice that there’s a lot more table service going on than on past visits. On the one hand, I suppose it’s nice not to have to stand at the buffet waiting for them to cook your whatever. On the other hand, it feels like one more step in an overall trend of things being a little less casual than they used to be. We have always been huge fans of Desire’s little foibles (see previous trip reports to learn more about our love of the “cooking from pictures” phenomenon). We are perfectly happy to pay our money and have a good chuckle at whatever crazy nonsense ensues because we love the atmosphere and love love love the show. Currently, Desire feels like a resort mid-transition from the slightly crazy place it was to some more formalized high end place they want it to be (as seen with the new penthouse suites).

Post-lunch, we went back to the room and wound up napping for a few hours. We got up for dinner at Suki (no reservation required). The evening entertainment was a live band. While the lead songstress seems to have learned many of the lyrics phonetically, she had a great voice and some extremely talented accompaniment. When they launched into Dancing Queen, I figured they’d just leave out all the orchestral flourishes, but no... dude on the guitar made it happen. Five stars, would sit through their performance again and not just because they played Blister in the Sun.

We skipped the burlesque show at the lobby bar and instead went up to the disco early to ensure we would have a good seat for the always excellent show our fellow guests put on every night. We also had the importance of taking care of your wait staff reinforced at the disco. You see, during the nightly entertainment, Fernando earned himself a roughly 80 peso tip for keeping our champagne glasses full. Apparently, the circulating wait staff from the lobby bar entertainment rotates up to the disco after and Fernando found us and continued to keep our champagne glasses full throughout the night. Can we just say once again how great the staff here is? We have stayed at fancier resorts, more expensive resorts, resorts with globally recognized and prestigious names, but nobody takes care of us like the staff at Riviera Maya (not even the staff at Pearl).

Post disco, we hit the lobby bar for some late pizza and sparkling water. We shared a bit of our pizza with the three mapaches (raccoon variety, not coati variety), two of whom were tiny babies too scared to actually take food directly from hoomans. We went back to the room and changed from disco clothes to late-night-wildlife-hunt clothes and then wandered the property in search of more mapaches. All we found was a kitty and a bunch of people f**king at the hot tub. We went back to the room, practiced a bit of self care (hydration is important!), and went to bed.
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
waab76
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:53 pm

Oh shit... totally forgot to mention one of the highlights from last night. The fairer half of one of the penthouse suite couples appeared at the live band performance wearing nothing but a fuzzy little polar bear backpack, fuzzy bear slippers, and an elaborate floral headband. It was, quite simply, the Best Thing Ever and now Mrs Mapache is her #1 fan. If you’re reading this, bear backpack lady, don’t ever change because you’re too awesome for this planet.
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 10:18 am

Day Three: Wherein I keep my promise to be less verbose

Wednesday was a pretty uneventful day. We got up, had breakfast, went to the beach, had lunch, went back to the beach, got cleaned up, and Went to our 7:00 reservation at Sahlo. Mr Mapache ordered an Old Fashioned with dinner and Mrs Mapache ordered a vodka martini. She got a big glass of vodka and we may never know what was in the glass they brought him. Lesson learned: stick to basic drinks.

The martini hit Mrs pretty hard, so we swung by the lobby bar to get a coffee for her and a mojito for him. Back to the patio outside our room where we both started to feel a little queasy. We decided to skip the live band and laid down for a bit of rest instead.

We popped back up in time to hit the disco. The nightly show was a couple of, frankly uninspiring, male strippers. They did, however, pull some female guests on stage who livened up the show significantly. The real highlight of the disco was J and P showing up in matching dresses; his white and hers red. J later told us that he was just having a bit of fun but he had to change because the panties were just too uncomfortable. “Just having a laugh”, “living your truth”... nobody here cares why a man shows up at the disco in a dress. We don’t judge here.

We were both still feeling a bit off, so we left the disco and went back to the room. Another hour or so of rest and we thought a bit of hot food might help, so we went back to the quite crowded lobby bar for an after midnight pizza. The pizza was just what we needed (we even shared a pepperoni with the very timid kitty nearby) and we were soon off to dreamland.
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby eddieandjojo » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:50 am

Please be as verbose as you'd like....currently 31 degrees, logged on at work and dreaming of our trip in 69 days!!! Your descriptive updates give us wonderful reminders how much we love our Desire time!

:L
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 1:21 pm

eddieandjojo wrote:Please be as verbose as you'd like....currently 31 degrees, logged on at work and dreaming of our trip in 69 days!!! Your descriptive updates give us wonderful reminders how much we love our Desire time!

:L


If you’re not following along on Twitter, you’re missing half the show (and ALL the pictures): http://twitter.com/BirdsCancun
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Fri Dec 22, 2017 10:56 am

Day Four: The Longest Night of the Year

We didn’t roll out of bed until noon, so we went over to lunch with the intention of calling it brunch. From there, we moved back to our beach bed. We’ve officially decided that our bed is the best bed on the beach and will be requesting it specifically on future visits. The view is great and it gets some nice shade in the afternoons. We spent the afternoon lounging on the beach. Our new Twitter friends stopped by to say hello. Finally, it was time to either go to hot tub happy hour or get ready for dinner. We opted for the latter since it was still sunny and we had pretty much skipped the sunscreen between lunch and the beach and didn’t feel like applying now. So, back to the room to shower and dress and then off to Suki where we discovered that “beef with broccoli” means “steak with a side of broccoli” as opposed to what you’d normally get at your neighborhood Chinese restaurant. After dinner, it was back to the room to prepare for the nightly entertainment.

On our way out to the nightly entertainment, we overheard a guest at the next building saying “look, a skunk!” As we turned the corner, we could see a couple gazing in wild wonder ar a small mammal that was definitely not a skunk. They had caught a brown-nosed coati coming up from the beach. Hooray! First coati sighting of the trip!

The hard-to-read big board of activities (seriously, who thought that making people read tiny clocks would be better than simply printing the times?) told us that tonight was “Champagne Cocktail” followed by a “Nauti Nautical” theme at the disco. It turns out “Champagne Cocktail” involves DiDi pouring champagne down Russian Anna’s ass while inviting guests to lap it up. DiDi then ordered Eddie (all of these people are Entertainment Staff, if that was unclear) to strip so women could lick champagne off of his bare (though reportedly stubbly) chest.

Following the champagne cocktail, the night’s entertainers appeared on the stage that had been set up. There was a trio of drummers (1 guy, 2 scantily clad girls) doing a lovely routine with drums that had water on top and lights inside. I’m sure they’ll be hearing from the Blue Man Group’s lawyers just as soon as a Blue Man books a Desire vacation and actually sees the act.

Following the drummers, a young woman in not a lot of red bikini strutted out on impossibly high shoes to the stripper pole that had been set up in front of the stage. Holy shit. This woman was an absolutely incredible pole acrobat. I swear, there were moments where her entire body weight was supported by just one hand. This woman needs to get off the Cancun resort circuit and go touring with Dita’s burlesque show. Just incredible agility, flexibility, and athleticism on display.

The final act of the evening involved the 2 scantily clad drummer ladies returning to do a bit of strip tease. They started out on stage with two folding chairs then moved down to the floor as the entertainment staff replaced the folding chairs with a large round cushion from one of the pool lounges. When the music shifted to Madonna’s “Justify My Love”, the crowd started buzzing. The two dancers (now down to thongs and white tape over their nipples) pulled a couple of female guests up onto the stage with them for a bit of writhing on the cushion. But the show took on a life of its own when the dancers pulled up the third female guest. She basically took over the scene on the stage and the dancers stepped back. If you could peel your eyes off the stage long enough to glance at the dancers or entertainment staff, you could easily see that the performance had gone off script, was running unexpectedly long, and they weren’t sure what to do about it. However, the DJ was on the same wavelength as the crowd and managed to keep Madonna looping smoothly for several extra minutes.

Finally DiDi got on the mic and broke the spell. The ladies somewhat shakily dismounted the stage to much applause. Then DiDi told us all it was disco time. However, I think the show in the lobby had more of an impact than DiDi realized because nobody migrated to the disco. Those ladies had electrified the lobby and nobody wanted to leave that electric atmosphere. Eventually, we popped up to have a look at the disco, which was very underpopulated. We danced a bit, drank a bit, and then ran back to the room to trade disco clothes for robes.

We took a mini tour of the facility checking the integrity and value of several pieces of furniture. We’re sad to report that the crazy wavy couch so often employed for strip shows that happen in the disco was not to our liking. Maybe it’s just not at the right height for us, but it created a weird angle that, while fun, wasn’t going to get anybody across the finish line. So we went from the sin room to the hot tub beds, which produced a much more satisfactory result. When we came down from the hot tub area, we couldn’t decide what furniture to test next, so we got some water and pepperoni pizza, which we shared with the resident raccoons (sad that’s the coati didn’t make it to the lobby bar). Then we went back to our room and put our extremely firm mattress through a vigorous stress test before drifting off to sleep.

Happy Winter Solstice, you dirty f**king perverts. ;)
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:51 am

Day Five: Witty Subtitle for a Quiet Day

Breakfast. Beach. Lunch. Foam party observation. Beach. Clean up. Dinner. Get dressed. Lobby bar.

Band. Way. Too. f**king. Loud.

Retreat to couch at hot tub to wait out the band while talking quietly.

Return to lobby after an hour. Band. Still. f**king. Loud.

Band plays “one more song” five times.

Tired of waiting for disco to start (band has been going for nearly 2 hours) and headachy from overly loud loudness, return to room for Advil.

Nobody makes it to the disco every night.
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
waab76
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby eddieandjojo » Sat Dec 23, 2017 8:57 am

So, was the band too loud???? LOL

Today is another day in paradise for you both, have a sexy f**king day!
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:55 pm

Day Six: Finale

We woke up at a reasonable hour and went for breakfast. We’re going to miss Matilda’s omelets. Following breakfast, we headed for our beach bed where we discovered our new Twitter-famous neighbors: Lita and her husband. We had a great time getting to know them. Eventually we took a break for lunch and then wound up back on the beach.

Since it’s our last day, we tried to get every ounce of beach goodness possible. Finally, with the sun disappearing and the wind kicking up, we retreated to the room to get cleaned up for dinner. We went to Suki and had the same table as we’ve had the previous two visits, but a new waiter (Jose instead of Ivan). However, Ivan kept stopping by the table to ensure we were taken care of. At the end of the meal, Jose and Ivan brought us a dessert surprise: sake bombs and a lovely goodbye cake (see twitter for pics). I have to say, the staff in Suki really took care of us this week. Oswaldo up front, Ivan and Jose tableside, even the chef popped out to say hello tonight.

We returned to the room a bit tipsy and did our best to pack since we’re going to be pressed for time in the morning what with our 5am airport pickup.

Once we were packed, we went out for the lobby bar show. The theme was “white night”, so I was not the only one out there wearing the robe from our room (everything else was packed!). There was a nice flaming coffee demonstration followed by the band. It being ready to play yet. The entertainment staff called an audible and put on the dancers while the band got their shirt together. Once the dancers had gone through their 30 minute routine, the band was ready and they proceeded to gamely butcher many well known songs. We both felt that another evening of Russian Anna’s bare ass in a bathtub would have been preferable. Do you think she does private parties stateside?

We stuck around for a while and then decided to toddle back to the room to move all our electronics from the safe to the charger in preparation for tomorrow’s travels.

It’s been a great week. Our only real complaint is that for the first time, we really didn’t like the mattress in our room. It’s awful damn firm. Also, the Mrs would appreciate it if the lobby bar would start carrying late night cookies in addition to the pizza, blts, and tacos.

I guess that about wraps it up. We’re already talking about our next trip. Maybe we’ll do a Passion Suite next time. Thanks for reading. If there are any questions, feel free to ask!
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
waab76
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby waab76 » Sun Dec 24, 2017 11:21 am

Follow Up

We got up at 4:30 this morning and hauled our own bags to the lobby for checkout since we got a busy signal when dialing 0 from the room. Our transfer was right on time and we were unable to shake a particularly persistent - yet wholly unnecessary - porter when checking in at CUN. The flight out was on time and we are now ensconced in the Admiral’s Club at CLT (CUN to CLT... teehee) with a few hours to kill before the flight that takes us to see the family for St Present’s Day.

To answer a couple of questions that already came in:
1) Yes, everything you heard about the relaxing of sex-on-the-beach rules is true. We witnessed a variety of activities, none of which the staff put a stop to. Also, congratulations to the occupants of Bed 17 for being the most vocal “beach lovers” of the week. I think you excited people as far away as Key West.

2) No, we did not partake of any spa services on this trip.

3) Yes, raccoons and coati are different and we saw both. Though the raccoons were the only ones to get close to the lobby bar.

4) Yes, the Christmas crowd is noticeably different from the crowds we’ve seen at other times of the year. I suppose every week is different, and we definitely felt like we saw the crowd shift from one group to another across the 22nd/23rd.

Anything else, just ask
RM Mar 2011, Week 43 2012, Sep 2013, Aug 2015, Sep 2016, Dec 2017
Pearl Aug 2014 (1st SYW), Aug 2016

Next: RM Spring 2018?
waab76
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby Lkncouple » Tue Dec 26, 2017 9:33 am

Thanks for the awesome trip report. 24 days for us, and we can't wait. Wish more people would do trip reports.
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Re: Merry MeXXXmas (Live Trip Report Dec 2017)

Postby SexxxyInMe » Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:08 pm

Thank you for the fantastic, live trip report! Your pictures were great on Twitter, too! 50 days til RM for our 4th trip and your trip report added to the excitement!
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