General
- (A) Talk about the trip ahead of time, enjoying the anticipation and also exploring what behavior is and isn't OK with you.
(B) Relax. After the initial butterflies driving up to the resort and walking through the glass doors, you'll quickly be put at ease by the super-friendly staff and the guests. One of the best things about Desire is it provides a context to meet new people and learn interesting things from them, in a way that most of us do not have many opportunities to do in our real lives. Of course, the possible flirtation or more adds to the fun as well as the uniqueness. You'll have a blast.
(C) Get into the theme nights. Not everyone does, but it makes the anticipation of the trip more fun and it also facilitates mixing and mingling in the evenings, since it gives people an opportunity to compliment you, ask where you got the outfit, compare outfits, etc.
(D) Take insect repellent, and cortisone or benadryl cream for relief of bug bit itching. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
(E) Don't spray alcohol-based sunscreen on your genitals. Ouch! But do use sunscreen. The lower latitude and being around water much of the time means even if you don't normally have problems with the sun, you can easily get a painful sunburn that will reduce your enjoyment of the rest of the trip.
(F) Don't feel like you need to plan excursions, especially for your first visit. There will be plenty to do just absorbing and getting used to the vibe at the resort, and then relaxing and soaking it in.
(G) We've never had a problem with the food or the tap water at the resort. Don't worry that you're going to get Montezuma's Revenge because you're in Mexico.
(H) Bring plenty of U.S. dollar bills. Although tipping is not required, nor will you be encouraged to tip, the staff almost all go out of their way to be accommodating, and a dollar or two occasionally to bartenders, waiters, porters, etc. is always appreciated and almost always deserved. (We usually leave a little more than that -- $5 or so -- at the evening restaurants, as well as more for the woman who cleans the room when we leave.)
(I) Don't assume that you need to pay extra for special meal items or bottles of wine. We've found that the included fare (i.e., not things like lobsters for which there is an upcharge) is of good quality and presentation, and the house wines compare well with high-volume U.S. brands like Kendall-Jackson, Chateau Ste. Michelle, J. Lohr, Hess, Coppola, etc.
(J) Head for the jacuzzi between 5 and 5:30 pm. That's the best time to get a spot and to be able to move around enough to meet different people.
(K) Pass on the offer to get freebies for listening to the pitch to become members of Desire. (Not sure they even do that for first-timers.) There's no way you'll be able to judge whether you want to invest in future visits until you've gone there at least one or two times to see if it's really something you can see yourself doing many times. (On the other hand, there are many of us on this site who have already returned way more than we would have imagined when we first visited, and who could have saved a lot of money if we'd known that early-on and joined as members.)
(L) Guys (this seems to mostly be a guy issue), don't assume that just because a naked woman is walking by you, or is standing in the pool talking to you, it's OK to grab/fondle her. Either ask it she minds if you touch her, or wait for a very clear signal that it is.
(M) Don't assume that everyone at Desire is a full-swap couple (i.e., enjoys having intercourse with others) or is open to any kind of contact with someone other than their partners. Other than weeks when some "lifestyle group" is at the resort, the distribution typically, from our observations over about 10 trips, breaks down to something like: one-third full-swap swingers; one-third people who are open to some kind of sexual touching, which might for some go as far as oral sex, with others but not intercourse; and one-third people who just enjoy being naked and in the sexy environment of Desire, but don't care to do anything with anyone other than their partner. It's all good and accepted at Desire.
(N) If you have a lot of clothes you want to hang up, bring a few hangers. The closet in the room will have 8 or 10, but we've often found we wanted more.
(O) If you have really high heels or have had a lot to drink, access the disco by the outdoor stairs (to the left, around the corner from the gift shop) when facing the registration area from the fountains), rather than taking the spiral staircase across from the registration area, which can be difficult to navigate.
(P) Don't be afraid to check out the play room or "sin room" (unmarked door tucked in a short dark hallway, to the back of the left side of the bar, facing the bar from the dance floor). It's perfectly OK to wander in, look around, sit down on one of the beds (or not), and then wander out. Going in and checking it out, or even spreading out a towel and taking your clothes off, is not an invitation for others to join you, although they might ask if they may. It's OK to look, and it's OK to say no.
(Q) You may want a fanny pack or wrist wallet to carry your room key and some essentials, as the outfits people wear (or don't wear) at Desire often don't have pockets! Some people bring a lanyard with an ID pouch on it to carry their room key, at least.
(R) Use USA Transfers (see link at top of the Forums index page) to get to and from the resort. You don't need a car, unless you're planning to go to Chichen Itza or Tulum, and USA Transfers is quick and less expensive than other services or a cab. (For example, the cab from Desire RM to the airport this time was $45; USA Transfers is $35.)
More Specific
- (1) Men never wear suits. Slacks and dress shirt are fine, and a significant portion of men never dress up beyond baggy shorts and T-shirts.
(2) The average women's body at Desire is better than at Walmart or the PTA meeting and not as good as Jacksonville during Spring Break. By its nature, Desire tends to attract guests who care about their appearance. We also noticed this trip that over half the women appeared to have had cosmetic surgery of some sort on their boobs. While you'll see some stunning figures, most women look like relatively height and weight proportionate soccer moms, not Barbies or models. One of the great things about Desire is that you will see and meet people with a wide range of figures, from rail-thin to Melissa McCarthy chubby or more, but folks are for the most part all treated equally by other guests and judged much more by their personalities than by their appearance. Women tend to obsess over body issues, while men tend to think most women look hot with their clothes off. (And most men seem to think they look hot no matter how big their beer belly!)
(3) Last weekend, the average age was probably 48. There were a handful of 20-somethings and a few 60-somethings, but most were probably in their late 30s to mid 50s. As someone observed this trip, most of us are behaving and partying like we're decades younger, and our kids would never believe we're out drinking and dancing til 2 am!
(4) For the Masquerade theme, 40% at best of the people wore masks. Women tended to dress up a little more that night (if you can call see-through dresses, plunging necklines, corsets, and lacy lingerie dressing up!); men tending to dress the same as usual.
(5) There are definitely still things going on after midnight. There usually is a band until 10 or 10:30 at the lobby bar area, at which time people gravitate upstairs to the disco, which is open until until 2:00 (although often only a few people are left by then). The rooftop jacuzzi is open until 3:00 (at which time there may be no one, or there may be a dozen people still there). There are usually some folks hanging around the lobby bar significantly later than that. (It's open all night, and they serve great made to order pizzas.)
And of course, read the posts on this site!
Enjoy!
R & E