Any bad experiences?

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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Burtitus » Sun Jan 05, 2020 10:26 pm

a place like Desire can be really therapeutic
:L
I like this response. If you are a survivor and your wounds from past are affecting your mental health, then you have two choices:

1. Suppress symptoms by seeking psychiatric help and taking prescribed medications. They can provide immediate relief very effectively up to certain level. However, they can work for a limited time only, until your mind stops responding to them. And as any medication, they can have negative side effects.
2. Address root cause of the problem by opening your eyes to a better part of the world and start focusing on it. This can heal wounds permanently and remove scars. And as any health improvement, they can have positive side effects only.

I was told by my father: the best medicine for any mental sickness is love. I have been at Desire Pearl two times, and I haven't seen in my life any other place more filled with love than this one. Love between couples and love for all other people.

Certainly, Desire is opened to everybody, so there is always a (slight) chance to come across a misfits, but there is enough room to walk away from this kind of people. So, I think that Sslgsk can safely set aside his worries and try Desire on his own together with his wife, to see if this is a good place for them or not.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Sslgsk » Sun Jan 05, 2020 11:57 pm

Just want to add a quick clarification, we are only looking for , if any bad experiences happened to any couples @ Desire, and the experience in their own words.Based on the details, we as individuals (or others newbies)can decide what is best for us (them).
Please refrain from disrespecting an open forum/ question as a waste of time, distorting the original question and misleading into a totally wrong spin, free advice on what we should do.
All we ask is if any couple had any undesirable experience during their stay.
But If your experience was positive great, we are really happy for you and we would love if you can be open minded and let people speak freely of any negatives as well, rather than making condescending statements.
Thank you all for your time.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Azman1122 » Fri Jan 10, 2020 10:29 pm

The only bad experience I’ve had is trying to find my room key in my pocket when I didn’t have any pockets!
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby ksr » Sat Jan 11, 2020 12:28 pm

As you can see, we've vacationed at Desire properties a few times. Zero bad experiences. Fun, respectful, sexy people.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Lkncouple » Sun Jan 12, 2020 12:04 pm

Anyone elses BS meter going off. Sounds like a reporter trying to dig up dirt. Why would someone that love s considering going only want negative information. They don’t want to hear all sides of the resort.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby SecretSmileToday » Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:14 pm

Lkncouple wrote:Anyone elses BS meter going off. Sounds like a reporter trying to dig up dirt. Why would someone that love s considering going only want negative information. They don’t want to hear all sides of the resort.


Nah, I get it. I can see being nervous. On these boards particularly, there are a lot of people like us who love Desire. I can see wanting to give voice to other perspectives, especially if you want to make sure it’s a safe place for your partner.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby jkuschill » Sun Jan 12, 2020 7:44 pm

Wondering if the OP is expecting that Pearl has a monopoly on bad experiences? My SO and now wife of many years have been visiting A/N and CO resorts for maybe 20 years. Most years, all went as expected, every once in a while, a jerk. At Grand Lido Negril a guy that "orchestrated" A/N pool volleyball activity so he could rub up against female players. At Sans Souci, a guy that sat in the corner around the A/N pool and leered and then went into the men's room and jerked off. These resorts took/take a dim view of PDA (e.g. hugging a friend that just got in) much less PDS. I would dare say that "bad experiences" can happen anywhere and suggest that the OP study the board a bit more to get a better understanding of what DP/RM is about. If the concern is that somebody is going to cause a "bad experience," then it might be best just to stay home ...
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby STL-MO-CPL » Mon Jan 13, 2020 3:34 pm

I'm guessing that the OP is looking for some balance in trip reports. The majority of the people here are Desire fans. If you hated Desire, you'd just quit going and probably wouldn't continue posting here all the time. As a result, you can see that the vast majority of the content here is very positive in nature. OP is probably just looking for a counterpoint to all that content. That's my estimation.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Explorer79 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 5:54 pm

That is a reasonable take. Still, it's not a simple issue. Let's say you have a thread with nothing but the bad experiences. The same logic applies here but in the other direction. If someone were to read such a thread their impression of Desire could be horribly skewed towards something that isn't representative of reality at all, not even close, much further from the truth than the posts in this thread. To me, the best take is the complete one where people give their experience both good and bad. A laundry list of bad experiences isn't really the best idea. The fact that the balance between good and bad is heavily good is useful information.

If you just must read about the "bad things" try going to the Trip Advisor reviews, filter to just 1 and 2 star ratings and read through some of that. You'll have to decide for yourself what to believe but some of those are pretty funny to read through, some cases where obviously they chose a place that they weren't suited for or had differing expectations, but you can read them and decide if what the unhappy people reported is enough to sway you against. To me it's akin to reading some of the more ridiculous Yelp reviews.

In this thread I think everyone that has given a take has essentially said the same thing - "Overwhelmingly positive experience, the people are great but there is no panacea, you might run into the odd issue but the risks of that are minimal".

In my opinion, you could go to Desire and make it a point to interact with no one and be all but assured nothing negative will happen from other guests. There are no swinger demons lurking in the bushes waiting to jump out, cat call or attack, you actually do have some control in this situation. Don't get in the foam party, don't go to the jacuzzi etc... Start there and scale up based on your comfort level. We've seen couples take this exact approach - typically by day 3 or so it clicks and they come out of their shell but we've seen others that essentially did a hermit trip. One of the common Desire sayings is that "Desire is what you make it" - I think that applies in this case as well.
\m/
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby twinstarsfalling » Mon Jan 13, 2020 10:02 pm

So, we've been to RM 5 times and I went to Pearl once before I was with my current partner. This trip will be our first Pearl trip together. I am also a survivor, unfortunately a couple of times over.

The overwhelming majority of experiences I've had have been very very positive. We are also a mixed couple. Most folks at Desire are there because they are very open minded. I've only felt any racial tension in two moments of the many, many times we've been.

In one of the interactions, we'd been in touch ahead of the trip. The women were very young and very jealous and generally not having a good time. We found much more fun, much nicer people to hang out with and had a great time.

In the other interaction, a woman intended to compliment me but had no idea "But you're so pretty! I wouldn't have guessed that you were black," was not a compliment after her many drinks.

That's literally it. I've had a couple of times I've told people that I don't want to be touched. Or that I'm not interested. But I've never had a situation when they didn't listen. As a survivor, I feel so much more safe with the focus on consent. There's so much more asking for consent than there is in the "real" world. By comparison, I felt like Temptation was really grabby and much more tense.

I hope that helps. I think you'll have a great time. Just keep on talking. That's what we do. At the end of the night, he puts his arm around me, kisses my forehead and tells me he loves me - all is right in the world.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby beachnbaja » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:11 pm

We made our first trip in November. We were a bit anxious about going as well. We were concerned with people being overly aggressive, etc.

We had a fabulous week and just booked our return trip.

We did have one episode (which is nothing compared to all of the good ones) that we had to be vigilant on. There was a couple who got absolutely plastered their first day. The girl passed out and when she did the guy began going around and he got a little touchy with people (again, he was wasted as well).
Two things happened that impressed us greatly:
1. We had multiple people come up to us the second we got in the pool and say, "Watch out for that guy". His behavior was so out of the ordinary that everyone knew it was not ok and protected each other. We loved that. Several guys confronted him nicely about it and told him to knock it off. And when that didn't work...
2. Desire security got involved very quickly. And it ended immediately. We didn't see that couple again.

Did it damper our trip at all? Not a bit. We just had to be aware for about 30 minutes and steered clear. In fact, it impressed and encouraged us more than anything. 99% of the people that go are going to be respectful, courteous and nothing but fun. There may be 1%, but they are certainly nothing to worry about. We have had FAR worse interactions any time we have gone to a club or bar, etc from "vanilla" folks.

Go and enjoy yourselves. You will have the time of your life.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Explorer79 » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:19 pm

If there is a single post that sums up all the key points, that would be it. You're not gonna get a better take than that.
\m/
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby brks » Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:02 pm

beachnbaja wrote:We made our first trip in November. We were a bit anxious about going as well. We were concerned with people being overly aggressive, etc.

We had a fabulous week and just booked our return trip.

We did have one episode (which is nothing compared to all of the good ones) that we had to be vigilant on. There was a couple who got absolutely plastered their first day. The girl passed out and when she did the guy began going around and he got a little touchy with people (again, he was wasted as well).
Two things happened that impressed us greatly:
1. We had multiple people come up to us the second we got in the pool and say, "Watch out for that guy". His behavior was so out of the ordinary that everyone knew it was not ok and protected each other. We loved that. Several guys confronted him nicely about it and told him to knock it off. And when that didn't work...
2. Desire security got involved very quickly. And it ended immediately. We didn't see that couple again.

Did it damper our trip at all? Not a bit. We just had to be aware for about 30 minutes and steered clear. In fact, it impressed and encouraged us more than anything. 99% of the people that go are going to be respectful, courteous and nothing but fun. There may be 1%, but they are certainly nothing to worry about. We have had FAR worse interactions any time we have gone to a club or bar, etc from "vanilla" folks.

Go and enjoy yourselves. You will have the time of your life.


Good points guys! :L For the ones who never been to Desire it's sometimes hard to understand what we really mean. You have to experience it to believe it. So all it takes is to go there with an open mind and an open heart and you'll make the best out of it.
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby Sslgsk » Fri Jan 31, 2020 12:16 pm

Thank you to all that have shared their experiences @ Desire , it really helps us to get a real picture of what to expect. Thank you again n wish everyone super fun n sexy times!!!
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Re: Any bad experiences?

Postby beachnbaja » Fri Jan 31, 2020 3:02 pm

Sslgsk wrote:Thank you to all that have shared their experiences @ Desire , it really helps us to get a real picture of what to expect. Thank you again n wish everyone super fun n sexy times!!!


For sure. I would encourage you to come back and post about your experience on this same thread for others who may feel the same way.

Btw, everyone on this forum goes to Desire. So, if you want an idea what type of people will be there...well, us! Ha
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