Desire Resort Forums

We arent swingers either but plan on attending and dressing up.

funcouple318 wrote:wife and I aren't swingers either so was wondering about theme nights. should we even plan on attending? as you can tell this is our first trip

There's no reason why you wouldn't attend the theme nights, or really anything else at Pearl. It's all a big party, some are swingers, most aren't. People that haven't been to Pearl tend to worry far more about the swinger aspect that there's than they should. There's no implied acceptance that if you're at the club, you're swingers. If asked, say simply it's not something you're into, and keep smiling and having fun. All good.

rykerw1701 wrote:There's no reason why you wouldn't attend the theme nights, or really anything else at Pearl.

Agreed, there really aren't any areas or resort activities that are "swinger only" kind of things. Plenty of non swingers at the hot tub for example - sometimes that count may go down through the course of a vist Now there might be situations that are "swinger only" but if you are not a swinger and are not interested in becoming such you aren't very likely to find yourself in one of those situations.

rykerw1701 wrote: People that haven't been to Pearl tend to worry far more about the swinger aspect that there's than they should. There's no implied acceptance that if you're at the club, you're swingers.

So much this^^^.

I totally get it. When you haven't experienced a "swinger" place, your mind tends to go to the extremes. You think that by stepping through the door, you announce that you are swingers too and will be expected to join the party or else you will come off as some sort of imposter that has snuck in under the radar.

It's just not like that.

As has been mentioned, there are probably (certainly??) more non-swingers there than swingers - just like in the general population. Tons of people like the swinger-y atmosphere but aren't necessarily looking to hook up with others.

Don't worry.

If your wife enjoys dressing sexy then you should definitely attend and dress to theme. Swinging has nothing to do with it. However, dressing within the theme is not required and you can still enjoy the show and the disco. Desire is what you want it to be. No one judges wether you dress in theme or not, do what makes you comfortable, it's your vacation. We all stress over our first visit, then we get there and relax. What helped me was my husband would shower and dress and then go see what the other ladies were wearing and then come back and report. It made it easier for me to decide what to wear and be comfortable. The fear of the unknown is difficult for all of us. But Desire is truly the least judgmental place you'll ever go. Everyone is friendly and more then happy to answer questions and do what they can to make you comfortable. You will find out quite often it's difficult to know who is in the lifestyle and who isn't. Feel free to PM me if have any questions. We were all newbies once.

Theme nights are just fun, some dress to the theme and others just dress sexy. But don’t miss the entertainment, some of the performances are outstanding. Some people dance in the lobby before the Disco opens for the show, and others dance in the disco after the show. Just good social fun.

We made our first trip this past month. Any feelings of discomfort or being unwelcome are in your own head. I was uncomfortable when we 1st arrived, and after 30 minutes everything normalized out. My wife who I was worried about, got there looked around and thought to herself wow, I look great? This is fun. Keep in mind she started in her bikini and went topless part of the time, and only bearded it all at night so just do you. You are welcome everywhere you are comfortable and there are going to be naked people everywhere, but everyone is there enjoying their vacation the way they want to. You should do the same.

There is so much to see, do and experience that in the least it maximizes discussion and communication. Have fun!

funcouple318 wrote:wife and I aren't swingers either so was wondering about theme nights. should we even plan on attending? as you can tell this is our first trip

Hey Funcouple - I took my pretty conservative wife and we had the trip of our lives....We aren't swingers..hell she had never been skinny dipping before this trip...and we had an absolute blast. We went on some sexy costume and lingerie sites and bought really sexy outfits...she went a little conservative on night one but after that it was on! There was certainly an "awakening" of her sexuality on this trip. I would say this place is fun, romantic, raunchy, classy, and sexy as hell! It was the best thing we ever did and we are already booked to go back in February. The theme nights really turned up the heat for us and dancing with your baby when she skipped the panties and has a short dress on is awesome! Just go for it!