Desire Resort Forums

We are not swingers, but also not prudes. We like to have fun and party and love a great pool atmosphere with drinks and good music.
We are somewhat anxious about comfort level and pressure from swingers. Any recommendations would be appreciated.

You will be fine. A few people may ask, tell them flat out and will be good.
No pressure, you will find lots of sexy friends to hang with no matter what you are into and nobody will make it weird. Well maybe a little weird but not uncomfortable.

Remember, this is not a swingers resort. Swingers are welcome but it's not "expected". I dare say there are more non-swingers at the resort than swingers (totally unscientific opinion on my part of course and always dependent on who is there during what week).

The swinging is a whole lot less "in your face" than you may be thinking. And, as mentioned, if you are chatting with another couple say, and they ask you if you might like to play, there is no shame or embarrassment in saying something like "Nah, thanks but we [just want to focus on ourselves], [aren't quite ready for that step yet], [will have to discuss it and see], [<whatever>]. They will most likely say "Okay, cool."

Don't worry. You'll be fine.

Another approach is to say "Hell yeah, we're swingers now!!!".

Just kidding of course, but that actually has been known to happen.

SexyLIcouple wrote:We are not swingers, but also not prudes. We like to have fun and party and love a great pool atmosphere with drinks and good music.
We are somewhat anxious about comfort level and pressure from swingers. Any recommendations would be appreciated.

HaHaHa, LOL...….. those darn high pressure in your face lifestyle swingers that are lurking everywhere to get first dibs at the new comers and harass them endlessly.

This reminds me of a couple that we introduced ourselves to that looked like the deer in the headlights and by themselves for their first few days. We invited them to dinner with us since they appeared to be new comers. They too were concerned about all the swingers looking at them as 'fresh meat'. I burst out laughing and apologized. Swingers are honestly ordinary people, exceptionally respectful to others generally, a trait of being in the lifestyle. I could say the majority of swingers would not want even spend time convincing a vanilla or a soft to swing. Not because of the person(s), looks or personality, swingers generally don't want first timers, maybe's or an opp's in judgement to wreck their holiday with drama that will follow.

So don't even think that you are something special everyone was waiting for you to arrive. You will be disappointed if you come with that in mind. Sorry for laughing, but the stereotyping of swingers is hilarious and all too common. My best guess is that you will not be able to determine who they are and may even have some issues with other drunk non swingers.

Many good answers already, but here’s a perspective: you’ll probably love Desire because relatively many of the guests are interested in getting to know one another (whether or not they also have sex with their new friends). We’ve been twice, hit it off with one couple the first time. We went to dinner, rapidly felt like old friends, hung out for a few days, and had wild nonmonogamous sex. We made a very similar connection with a different couple the second time. We had dinner, felt like old friends, hung out and shared great conversations. We said “no pressure, but just so you know we’re very interested if you’d like to play.” They graciously declined. No sex (or even flirting really) but we still hung out and had a great time.

tl;dr: experienced lifestyle folks are really good about hearing “no.” It’s kind of beautiful how little confusion or angst there is when you can just say what you want.

It’s kind of beautiful how little confusion or angst there is when you can just say what you want.

Indeed, this is one of the most refreshing aspects, could use more of this everywhere.

We were SO concerned about this before our first experience at any version of a lifestyle resort/event. And completely without merit. We have found couples in the lifestyle (and as others have said this is not a lifestyle resort so many will not be) to be the most respectful people on earth. We had this image (because my wife is hot haha) of couples just swarming us or something. It’s just not that way. People will respectfully talk to you. But it doesn’t mean they want to jump your bones.
Go! You will have a blast and meet some of the nicest and most respectful people on earth.

It wasn't an issue for us. After the first day we met a group who were not into the lifestyle and had a great time with them. Coming home we joked that next time we should hang out with the lifestyle crowd in order to compare the experiences.

We aren’t swingers either and we love desire. Go you’ll have a great time

I think everyone at the resort is there for some core concepts of a romance based couples nude holiday.

Adding to that is personal choice for quiet end of the pool or social end or even the beach.

Attending the hot tub before dinner and after the entertainment and dancing is a social experience.

In and amongst this some folks may be interested in more than socializing but we’ve met few who were ever constantly on and not interested in people who weren’t swingers.

I guess the two concerns would be that swingers wouldn’t bother to socialize with you in you don’t swing and your holiday may not be filled with new friends or that they will hound you because you do. We’ve experienced neither at Desire but yes we’ve been asked if we are swingers or not but we’ve never had a negative experience based on our answers.

Go and have fun and stick to what’s comfortable for you. If you are asked then answer without fear of any repercussions.

Have a great couples holiday immersed in romance and enjoy meeting some new friends, in whatever form that takes.