Some tips for first timers

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Some tips for first timers

Postby Mrandmrst » Sun Oct 06, 2019 8:37 am

A good friend recently announced that after hearing us repeatedly proclaim the wonderfullness of Desire that they decided to give it a try themselves, and asked if we had any tips that we've gleaned from our prior trips. After writing the response I realized they might be of interest to other first timers on this forum. None of these are novel ideas - many of them we learned from other members on this forum (thank you!) But we thought they are worth repeating and having all in one place.

Note: This is our opinion only. Other's will have different experiences and preferences and that's totally ok. Some of our tips are specific to Pearl but many of them are general enough to also apply to RM.

Transport
You won't need a rental car. We always book round-trip transport with USA Transfers. It's $70 round trip and I usually tip $5 or $10 for each trip. We make the reservation weeks in advance and pay them in cash upon arrival. They are very efficient, clean and friendly. It's about a 20 minute drive but on the return trip to the airport they'll pick you up like 3 or 4 hours before the flight. That's just how it works down there - all the transport companies do the same thing to make sure everyone gets to their gate on time.

Pre Check-in
No more than 15 days prior to arrival you can check in online here: https://www.desire-experience.com/resorts/desire-riviera-maya-pearl-resort/express-check-in/ It saves you a little time when you arrive. Also you can tell them what kind of room you want. I recommend something NOT on the ground floor (although be careful at night - the stairs are slippery when wet after stumbling home from the hot tub at 2am :) We always stay in the quiet end of the resort. It's never really noisy but we prefer sleeping with our patio door open listening to the sound of the surf.

If you are really ambitious you can print and fill out your immigration forms here: https://www.inm.gob.mx/fmme/publico/en/solicitud.html They don't need the exact address of the resort - just put "Desire Pearl"

Check in
After you've checked in, you'll have a short conversation with a woman who will go over the rules for the resort, where/when food is served... general stuff. Then she'll write down a date and time for your appointment to learn about their "membership club". I recommend politely declining. This is the one thing first-timers complain about. They are a little pushy about trying to get you to go to this presentation and they'll offer you all kinds of coupons and discounts and stuff. Just say no thank you - feel free to be a little rude: you never see the staff at the front desk anyways. Eventually they'll get the hint and stop trying. 

If you are arriving before 3pm, pack a day bag with stuff you'll need to hang around the pool. Often when we arrive, our room isn't ready so they take our suitcases and we keep one bag with sunscreen, books, bathing suit/coverup, sandals for the restaurant. Make sure the bag is big enough for your cold-weather clothing and hand-carry it on the plane. You do have the option of putting your stuff in a locker in the spa but I wouldn't leave valuables in there - keep them with you. Some time after 3, mozy on back to the office and someone will guide you to your room along with your bags. I usually tip them $5 for hauling our stuff up the stairs.

What to wear
I know, this seems like an odd topic for a clothing optional resort. Many people will tell you they pack more when they go to Desire than going to a traditional resort. Here's the deal:

You'll need something to wear for breakfast and lunch in Aphrodite which is right next to the pool. It's casual. Guys usually wear shorts/bathing suit, t-shirt, and sandals (shoes are required). Most ladies throw on a cover up and bikini bottoms. The cover ups can be as sexy as you like. We've seen see-through, fishnet, you name it. We actually enjoy looking for and picking revealing coverups for MrsT to wear and we have different outfits for every day. Some gals just throw on a t-shirt. It's all good.

There are some rules about what men have to wear for dinner and it varies a little depending on restaurant you decide to go to. Look on the website. I always wear the same thing - nice slacks (usually off-white), closed-toe sandals, and a nice untucked button down shirt - like a nice hawaiian shirt.
For months before our vacation, MrsT and I spend evenings looking for sexy outfits for her to wear to dinner. Yandy.com is a good resource but there are lots of others - don't be afraid to ask. There really aren't many rules about what the ladies can wear. We've seen everything from glamorous to slutty. It's all just good fun and everyone enjoys seeing and being seen. If you are considering an outfit but are afraid it is too risque, assume there will be people there dressed MUCH more provocatively than you. Seriously - you can do no wrong with dressing sexy.

Theme nights are explained under the title "daily schedule" so I'll only talk about theme clothing here. We don't bring outfits for *every* theme night but we usually try to find a few that sound fun and bring outfits for that theme. If we don't have special "theme night" outfits, we just wear what we wore to dinner. We've never once regretted the extra effort or expense we've gone to in bringing special outfits to theme night. I think it's worth trying at least once. Important note: in my opinion most men are incapable of looking sexy and end up just looking silly. Now, I've dressed in "sexy" theme outfits fully understanding that I look silly and that's fine - you'll see a lot of guys like this. I guess what I'm saying is most guys will be embarrassed if they are *trying* to look sexy, so I recommend not trying.

Money
No need to change dollars to pesos. Everyone takes dollars and, honestly, I think they prefer it.
This is what I usually bring:
$70 for USA Transfer payment
$5-$10 x 2 tip for van driver
$5 x 2 for guy who lugs our luggage on day of arrival/departure
$20 for pool guy on first morning after arrival
$50 in 5's and 1's in case I feel like tipping someone who goes beyond what is expected. Some years I haven't tipped anybody special. Some years we make friends with a particular waiter or a bartender and we give them something the day we leave. Some people tip more than us, some less. Tipping is definitely NOT required. But more than once I've felt a connection to someone that has made me glad I had cash on hand.

Pool chairs
On the first morning after you arrive, you'll want to become BFFs with the pool attendee. We are usually early risers compared to most of the guests and on the first morning we find the guy hanging around the pool and setting up chairs. Tell him you'd like two chairs for the day. He'll ask whether you want sun or shade and where you want to sit. The northern end of the pool (facing the water you are facing east so north will be on your left) is VERY quiet. We always sit near Aphrodite (restaurant) and the bar which is the southern end and where all the fun happens. Once you pick some chairs, tip him a $10 or $20. He'll be your BFF and every day when you stop by on your way to breakfast he'll ask if you want the same chairs and put towels on the chairs for you. We always leave a hat and a bag or something on our chairs just so it is clear they are taken but it's never really a problem. Throughout the day if you want to move to different chairs, want dry towels, or want the umbrella moved for more/less shade just ask. He is super helpful.  Technically you don't have to tip anyone and we've never got the sense that we get better/worse treatment if we do/don't tip but we think the guy really works hard to make sure we're happy throughout the day.

I should say you also have the option of sitting on beach beds and I would imagine the same arrangement applies - someone will "set one up" for you with towels, etc. We always hang by the pool so I can't talk about the beach beds much although lots of people swear by them. 

Pool games
The entertainment staff at Desire is excellent. Throughout the day there are activities if you feel like participating. MrsT always does water dance class which is fun but exhausting. I usually play beach volleyball and often a game or two in the pool. Some of the games are... shall we say saucy... couple games. Fun to watch, more fun to participate if you can work up the courage. There is no pressure to participate - if you want to just chill all day or just watch other adults act like teenagers that is entirely ok.

Dinner
The number and kind of restaurants available for dinner changes from time to time, and the kind of cuisine served changes nightly. There's only one restaurant where you need a reservation and it is on the floor above Aphrodite (pool restaurant). We usually make our reservation at lunch or breakfast - just tell the person who seats you at Aphrodite that you want to make a reservation for dinner. On our last trip we ate dinner in the reservations-required restaurant 4 out of 5 nights. We think the food and service are much better than the other restaurants. Not that the others aren't great, they just had a really good menu when we were there and there are only a handful of tables so you get to have good conversations with your waiter. It's also a great restaurant for dinner with another couple. We often start chatting with people during the day and someone invites the other couple to join them for dinner which is always fun.

Daily schedule
There's an informal flow to days at Pearl that most people end up following to one degree or another with slight variations. You are obviously free to do what you want. This is our routine:
Morning
Unlike our home routine, we don't usually shower in the morning since a) we're still clean from the prior night's hot-tubbing, b) we're just going to lather up with sunscreen anyways, c) we'll be spending a significant amount of time sweating in the sun or chilling in the pool. So after we wake up, brush teeth, etc. we put on sunscreen, pack our day bag and head out. People gradually make their way to breakfast and settle into chairs by the pool or on the beach.NoonThe entertainment staff starts turning up the fun late morning/early afternoon. The music gets more upbeat and games get started in and around the pool and on the beach. If you are there on a Saturday there will be a foam party in the pool which can get a little crazy but tons of fun, especially if you are tipsy after drinking all day.Late afternoonAround 4pm, people gradually migrate to the hot tub. To call it a hot tub is misleading - it's really the size of a pool. This is where a lot of socializing takes place and for a lot of people is the highlight of the day. You might see some light sexual activity on the beds around the hot tub, on the edge of the hot tub, or even in the hot tub. It's usually not in your face but there's definitely a sexual charge in the air. People have been naked under the glorious sun all day and are usually at least a little tipsy, so the pheromones are a-flowin!
Early Evening
We eat dinner early so we often leave the hot tub around 6pm and head to the spa for a sauna, steam, and shower (you don't have to pay or have an appointment - just go in. There are technically gender specific changing rooms but no one seems to pay attention to the signs - we always use the women's side). Then back to the room to get dressed for dinner. We take a stroll around the resort to the restaurant and have a leisurely dinner. After dinner there's usually an hour or two to kill before theme night starts. Sometimes we end up back in the hot tub, sometimes the room, sometimes we just sit on the beach. However the spirit moves us.
Theme Night Events
After dinner, usually around 9pm, there's some kind of entertainment in the lobby. Usually a band or something. This is where people dress for the theme for that night. 2020 themes have not yet been announced - I'll let you know when they are. Not everyone dresses in theme but those that do seem to have more fun. Around 10 everyone goes into the disco for "the show" which is a performance of some kind that everyone sits and watches. The shows are pretty good, especially if you are a little tipsy. Sometimes they get audience members to participate. After the show they try to segue into a dance party and get everyone on their feet. Occasionally we'll dance but usually our feet lead us back to the hot tub which gradually fills up with people after they leave the disco. Some nights the hot tub is packed with people, some nights it is pretty subdued. There's a high chance you'll see some sexual activity at this time of night. The beds around the hot tub are hot commodities. The hot tub stays busy until late-in-the-night/early-in-the-morning. I've heard it can get pretty wild but we're usually exhausted by midnight and head back to the room to go to bed.
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby Azfnlvrs » Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:44 am

Thank you for the tips. We arrive for our first visit to Pearl on the 12th (6 more days !). We’ve been following the boards,but the is one of the most complete,concise posts. Appreciate you taking the time to do this.
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby noblenudes » Sun Oct 06, 2019 3:21 pm

Heading there for our third time and found some of these tips worthy of remembering for this years trip.
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby SecretSmileToday » Sun Oct 06, 2019 4:04 pm

We endorse the advice from the original poster. Just a couple of things to add:

Check-in:
On our first visit the staff person asked a bit delicately if we were “in the lifestyle”: we said we were familiar, and that was that. Not sure how the choose your own adventure goes if you say otherwise, but the staff person said she’d once had a guest storm out around then- apparently her husband had not told her that Desire was a lifestyle-friendly resort (or perhaps even clothing optional). We did get signed up for the sales pitch, glad we didn’t schedule it for day one or two. Totally see the advice to give a firm no, although it went fine for us. We didn’t end up spending almost any of the coupons (bribe to attend the sales pitch) anyway, since on our first trip we had more than enough going on without paying for any extras. In hindsight those coupons would have been way more valuable on our second trip.

Dress up:
Original poster is right that dress up is optional and appreciated, and totally worth paying for the extra luggage. Beg to differ on the “don’t even try” for guys. I got all kinds of appreciation (some of it really, really memorable- see our trip report) for my awkward-but-sincere attempts to dress for the theme. Ms SecretSmileToday, naturally, gets way more attention for actually pulling off sexy, but the first trip definitely converted me to leaning in on the theme. Guys, dress up at least one night, you might be surprised how fun it is. You’re 90percent invisible next to your sexy partner anyway. ;)

Activities:
Richard and Lauren’s workshop might be the best additional splurge in the whole resort. We are scheduling our next trip to make sure we can do both.

Remember that Desire is a perfect place to do what’s right for you and your relationship. No one will judge or push (that we’ve seen at least), and you’ll be glad you did what worked for you- whether your poolside style is wild sex, a coloring book, or (like us) a little of each.
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby IrishScot » Sun Oct 06, 2019 5:01 pm

Sincere appreciation for your post, Mr. & Mrs T!
We arrive in a scant 16 days and your invaluable tips have certainly eased the “cultural overload” of vacationing at Pearl for our first time. :CAN
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby TandD » Mon Oct 07, 2019 7:29 am

Excellent Summary guys! Very helpful.
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby Dani'stoy » Mon Oct 07, 2019 5:46 pm

Guys, dress up at least one night, you might be surprised how fun it is. You’re 90percent invisible next to your sexy partner anyway. ;)

Great info in the original post...That said, we are going for our fourth trip to pearl in November and I have to agree with the quote above from SecretSmileToday...guys, make an attempt...your woman will "appreciate" it and you'll get some extra attention too! I went one night as a Priest and my wife was a school girl...a lot of women wanted me to hear their "confessions"....It was a really fun night and we had some great laughs! So I say go for it....hell, half the time you're in costume in a Tommy Bahama shirt and a pair of slacks anyway!
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Re: Some tips for first timers

Postby jkuschill » Mon Oct 07, 2019 6:39 pm

Unless they've reverted to the earlier approach (which I think most of us preferred), I think you also need to make reservations for Pearl. That is, you need reservations for Suki and Pearl, while Aphrodite is walk-in.

Very nice summary.
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