Desire Resort Forums

Me and my wife will be traveling to Desire in October and the onus of making sure that the trip is a truly fun filled and exciting one is completely on me. So as a first timer I am nervous and wanting to check here if any one has had any bad memories, like rude comments on body shapes / sizes , race (we are mixed) , any unwanted physical grabbing from behind? cause the theme is drenched in sexuality and alcohol is included, but hope everyone stays in limits, until approached respectfully.
Really asking the repeat women , if they feel safe or there is any hints of unwanted / rude comments or just outright rude physical moronic behavior from other men or women. I understand that majority of the comments are about how fun and wonderful everything is, but just want to ensure that there is not that one off rude experience that some women or men felt like they could have erased from their memory. I apologize upfront as my concern post is not the most entertaining, but my wife is a survivor and I would hate to be the one to bring her into an environment that might be present the risk of being mistreated.

Just a little info on us, I love my wife a lot, (I know, all the men here do ...which is great!) and i want mine to have the best time of her life. She loves costumes and dress up and so do I. She is also a huge fan of lady Gaga, and during her concerts she used to dress up , but the unnecessary stares and catcalls on the walk up to the concert from our hotel, in her costume, made it a little annoying for me. I know she ignores them and just does her thing, but I want to be sure that such unwanted reactions aren’t a part of the package @ Desire Pearl. Also I understand that in the scenario I mentioned it’s two different worlds of people, one set in concert mode and the other, trying to go about normal survival mode and in between there is a small group of morons that ruin it for all. So just asking humbly if any husbands felt that they had any concerns or negative experiences that they might not have their wives go through or ladies , please respond if you felt like you could have had a great time if not for that annoying or rude behavior/ comment.
Thank you all for your time and thoughts. Apologize about any typos etc.

Sslgsk wrote: but the unnecessary stares and catcalls on the walk up to the concert from our hotel, in her costume, made it a little annoying for me. I know she ignores them and just does her thing, but I want to be sure that such unwanted reactions aren’t a part of the package @ Desire Pearl.

My friend, I could answer your question but I'm not sure that's what you really want to ask? The item that seems to annoy you the most is one of the things I enjoy the most...watching my beautiful wife being appreciated by the other guest in this sexy environment. Granted, what I define as rudeness (in my culture) annoys me on the rare occasion that it occurs, but I'm continuing to learn how to allow her to deal with her own "fans" and understand that tolerance with other cultures is required. She is in a perfectly safe atmosphere and absolutely does not need my help while at Desire no matter how much my macho tendency wants to surface.

So my question to you...can you handle watching your wife be admired? Can you allow her to enjoy the confidence she will experience from admiration and compliments? What are you really trying to achieve on your vacation to Desire Pearl? Respectfully (as this post is intended), you need to be honest with yourself and if you are concerned how you or she will react in the super sexy and sexual environment, perhaps this is not yet the place for your vacation. There will always be that one guest that annoys you for whatever reason (too loud, too rude, too drunk, whatever). If you are not able to relax and enjoy yourselves either alone as a couple or socially with other guests, why go?

Hi. We've only been once (so far) and our experience as vanillas entering this world for the first time was truly amazing. As far as body shaming goes, I didn't see any of it going on towards any gender. No pointing. No comments. No sideways glances. VERY respectful. It was an adjustment for me to have men hitting on my wife. To me, there was somewhat predatory behavior in at least one encounter, but I think that has more to do with us having zero exposure to the LS world prior to our trip. We'll be there again in a couple of weeks and I'm excited to compare how I respond to things this time.

There was only one man we kind of let into our circle who then proceeded over the course of a couple of days to be very forward and "handsy" with my wife, which made me uncomfortable and she didn't really like it either. She's more apt to go with the flow, but she knew it was bothering me, so she asked him to stop and he did with no issue.

In reality, the above is really just awkwardness on our (my) part in navigating this new world, not other people behaving badly. So if you're non-LS and have never been an environment like this, it IS a lot to take if you're wired like me (Type-A, hard-driving, intense), but if you're like my wife (Type-B, go with the flow), it's just damn fun! Overall our experience was AMAZING and we booked our return the day we got back. Now that I've been once, I'm looking forward to being more laid back and just enjoying it. I'm guessing the intense Type-A's out there understand what I'm talking about.

In short, the chances of you having a bad experience like you describe is incredibly low.

Another poster hit on (seemingly) the core question. We have been to Desire resorts and cruises 20+ times. My wife LOVES to dress up for themes and love to dress provocatively in the right environments. She loves the attention. I love that she loves the attention. Frankly, it's part of the attraction of Desire for us. She can wear virtually a transparent dress to dinner and nobody is offended. The fact that your wife might draw attention doesn't mean anything as far as whether or not you go any further than accepting the compliments. You still have complete control.

If it is a question of safety, I believe you should be fine there. Only once in all of our visits has someone really come on too strong, and that was pretty easily sorted. And you are right, the unwanted attention could come from a man or a woman. One of the "dirty little secrets" of the lifestyle is that women sometimes respect fewer boundaries than men. Since Desire is a couples-only property, you don't have the single male element to be concerned about.

If it is a question of jealousy, then Desire (or the lifestyle environment in general) may not be right for you. If she dresses to be admired, trust me, she will be admired. Not in a demeaning way. But attention will come. If you enjoy her being admired, then Desire is the right place for you. If you are bothered by your wife being admired, Desire is probably the wrong place for you.

People in general at Desire (or most lifestyle clubs and events, for that matter) are usually very respectful. Why is that? Well, one reason is that there are not a lot of those places around (and virtually none like Desire). If a person behaved badly and was asked not to return to Desire, where else would they go? Hedo is not the same. So there is some risk at a lifestyle resort for bad behavior that doesn't really exist at a "vanilla" resort or club. That checks a lot of potentially bad behavior.

We have been to the resorts about 20 times and sometimes the unwanted touches happen. Sometimes due to alcohol and other times not. Keep a cool head and keep yourself surrounded by good people. Most of the people are great, but sometimes you get the asshole that doesn't understand the words, Thanks but no thanks.

Desire is a great place and the people are awesome - that has been our experience almost completely. However, it's still a group of humans, not all of which share the same values, so there is always the chance of someone doing something they shouldn't, there is no 100% safe haven. Note that this concept applies to anywhere humans exist. In fact, I'd say that at Desire things are better in this regard than in the vanilla world - i.e. we've experienced worse transgressions at vanilla clubs, in fact to me Desire is the place I would worry about such things the least - it's been the same really at other lifestyle events as well.

However, you do have to realize the environment you're in - the lady is likely to get complimented, flirted with etc..., things which might be over the line normally but are common place (and non threatening) at Desire. It's difficult to explain fully until you experience it but it's just a whole different (and better) dynamic than interactions between people than you typically experience. It's definitely not a free for all where you get attacked and tried to be taken to the bedroom at every turn, but it would be easy to get that impression.

Perhaps the best way I can describe is that early on it was very apparent how much other couples respect the other couples' relationships, that's probably the key point.

Hi! Repeat visitor here (about 6 times total both Pearl and Riviera Maya) My husband and I are not swingers, but we seem to have to most fun in lifestyle environments such as Desire.

In our many trips to Desire, I have never ever been touched inappropriately. Any touching, hugging, kissing has always been consensual. Men (and women) will ask if it's OK.

We are also a mixed race couple and we have not heard any unkind comments or gotten any glares or stares. On our last trip (3 weeks ago) we noticed about 6 or 7 mixed race couples and they all seemed to be having a ball. The guests at Desire are truly friendly and non-judgmental. The atmosphere can be very sexual and yes, alcohol is involved, but I have never ever witnessed anyone acting obnoxiously or in an offending manner. I personally believe a lot of the alcohol is watered down but that's a theory of mine.

Not only do I feel safe at Desire, but my husband feels I am safe, as well. He does not have to worry about predatory men. Every guest we have ever encountered has been respectful and civil. I sometimes gripe about Desire being a little over our budget, but I think the price point helps keep folks in check: No one wants to get kicked out of a place they paid $500/night for.

As far as the Lady Gaga styled outfits go, I think they would be great at Desire. Women can wear the most skimpy or outlandish outfits they have and it's all good. She will probably receive many compliments!

For what it's worth, I have seen inappropriate touching and obnoxious behavior at Temptation and Hedo (Jamaica) but never at Desire.

Sslgsk wrote:Me and my wife will be traveling to Desire in October and the onus of making sure that the trip is a truly fun filled and exciting one is completely on me. So as a first timer I am nervous and wanting to check here if any one has had any bad memories, like rude comments on body shapes / sizes , race (we are mixed) , any unwanted physical grabbing from behind? cause the theme is drenched in sexuality and alcohol is included, but hope everyone stays in limits, until approached respectfully.
Really asking the repeat women , if they feel safe or there is any hints of unwanted / rude comments or just outright rude physical moronic behavior from other men or women. I understand that majority of the comments are about how fun and wonderful everything is, but just want to ensure that there is not that one off rude experience that some women or men felt like they could have erased from their memory. I apologize upfront as my concern post is not the most entertaining, but my wife is a survivor and I would hate to be the one to bring her into an environment that might be present the risk of being mistreated.

Just a little info on us, I love my wife a lot, (I know, all the men here do ...which is great!) and i want mine to have the best time of her life. She loves costumes and dress up and so do I. She is also a huge fan of lady Gaga, and during her concerts she used to dress up , but the unnecessary stares and catcalls on the walk up to the concert from our hotel, in her costume, made it a little annoying for me. I know she ignores them and just does her thing, but I want to be sure that such unwanted reactions aren’t a part of the package @ Desire Pearl. Also I understand that in the scenario I mentioned it’s two different worlds of people, one set in concert mode and the other, trying to go about normal survival mode and in between there is a small group of morons that ruin it for all. So just asking humbly if any husbands felt that they had any concerns or negative experiences that they might not have their wives go through or ladies , please respond if you felt like you could have had a great time if not for that annoying or rude behavior/ comment.
Thank you all for your time and thoughts. Apologize about any typos etc.

My wife and I are not a swapping couple but we just love the sexy atmosphere and great couples at Desire. One of the most attractive things for us is that my wife can look really sexy and be admired but never really bothered by the attention there. There is more of a chance of ‘cat calls’ or disrespect in a vanilla bar at home, wearing twice as much clothing, than anything like that at Desire walking around half to completely naked. Going back for our 4th trip in March.

This will be our first visit to Pearl, my wife is 52. We have been to other couples only and swinger resorts and the behaviour you speak of is exactly what we are looking for. If you seek conservatism and no comments or stares this is not the place, go to a family resort.
My wife is seeking the attention, wants the cat call and loves to be touched, she often declines offers, but we often make the same efforts to arrange a sexual encounter.
The scene you painted is exactly what we want.

Hey there,
We are on our last night of our first time down here and literally just asked my wife the questions you asked and she answered an emphatic no to all of them. She has felt safe and respected the whole time. For what it's worth, I am about as Alpha as it comes and after my first day here, I felt fine with her walking around on her own, doing her own thing, knowing she would be good to go.
Also, on a different note, and as ready mentioned, the people who come to Desire are only a slice of society and you will catch an asshole in there sometimes. You and your wife should speak with each other and make sure both know that if either one of you arent comfortable with something, you bail out of the situation.

Good to hear from most responses that the majority is a sensible crowd that understands
1. decent communication by today’s standards (clothed or without)
2. consent decency, and
3. later indulges in whatever is mutually agreed on.

Fringe always exist, it’s a given, question was how many/ how often such experiences occur during a visit, of course it could happen to any one , anytime, But most responses confirm a positive experience and so, thank you for the responses that gives a glimpse into your own experiences/observations @ Desire.

We have been to Desire Pearl 4 times and intend to keep coming back. We have never seen or heard any negativity during our stay. We have seen all sorts of couples, it is an extremely judge free premises. Which is a factor into why we keep returning, aside from the overall sensual environment we love about Desire. We come for the resort, atmosphere, fun, having sex outdoors, watching others and being watched. I also come for the diving in Mexico. We tend to stay to our selves as we come to relax and neither one of us likes to socialize a lot.

The one category that I will mention is age. We started coming to Desire Pearl at the very end of our 20s, now we are reaching our mid 30s. We still look fairly young, as we get carded for alcohol just about every place we purchase in the states. One of us gets carded when purchasing cigars lol! It gets annoying to hear people speak of our young looks, as I would imagine it gets annoying for a tall man when asked how tall he is. A lot of people tend to forget how well voices travel across the pool/water. You would be amazed at what you hear when you don't even want to hear it. We ignore the comments about our age and ability to afford to come here and continue our amazing vacation, definitely has not bothered us at Desire. My wife was severely insulted about her age by a male guest during our stay at Hidden Beach (another clothing optional resort in Mexico), and she rarely wanted to leave the room after that, this was also the trip celebrating our engagement. I always keep that event in mind hoping it doesn't reoccur when I am away from her while I am out scuba diving, and shes stay back tanning or lounging by the pool. Luckily we usually have made friends with another couple by the time I head out to dive.

We only wanted to mention this as some people may not know they are doing it. But again, its never been a situation where we have felt un-welcomed or harassed. Desire is a great place where everyone can be as vanilla, sexy, or slutty as they want without judgement or negative comment.

Yep, that does happen. Our Prime Minister was recently caught on camera at the G20 summit talking with other leaders about a certain President. Luckily as usual for him, he is Teflon and nothing sticks to him. Happens everywhere, but agree, we go to Desire to chill and enjoy and should just leave any of the chatter at the airport....

aopa1070 wrote:We have been to Desire Pearl 4 times and intend to keep coming back. We have never seen or heard any negativity during our stay. We have seen all sorts of couples, it is an extremely judge free premises. Which is a factor into why we keep returning, aside from the overall sensual environment we love about Desire. We come for the resort, atmosphere, fun, having sex outdoors, watching others and being watched. I also come for the diving in Mexico. We tend to stay to our selves as we come to relax and neither one of us likes to socialize a lot.

The one category that I will mention is age. We started coming to Desire Pearl at the very end of our 20s, now we are reaching our mid 30s. We still look fairly young, as we get carded for alcohol just about every place we purchase in the states. One of us gets carded when purchasing cigars lol! It gets annoying to hear people speak of our young looks, as I would imagine it gets annoying for a tall man when asked how tall he is. A lot of people tend to forget how well voices travel across the pool/water. You would be amazed at what you hear when you don't even want to hear it. We ignore the comments about our age and ability to afford to come here and continue our amazing vacation, definitely has not bothered us at Desire. My wife was severely insulted about her age by a male guest during our stay at Hidden Beach (another clothing optional resort in Mexico), and she rarely wanted to leave the room after that, this was also the trip celebrating our engagement. I always keep that event in mind hoping it doesn't reoccur when I am away from her while I am out scuba diving, and shes stay back tanning or lounging by the pool. Luckily we usually have made friends with another couple by the time I head out to dive.

We only wanted to mention this as some people may not know they are doing it. But again, its never been a situation where we have felt un-welcomed or harassed. Desire is a great place where everyone can be as vanilla, sexy, or slutty as they want without judgment or negative comments.

Thank you for sharing your experience. Sorry about that one experience that you and your wife had to go through @ Desire. Some have normalized or internalized abuse/misbehavior to such an extent that they can't even conduct/control themselves in shared spaces, especially @ clothing optional resort drenched in a seductive environment.
We are very similar to what you have mentioned about just enjoying yourselves as a couple and not being social butterflies. In our experience at other resorts that difference creates anxiety for the fringe that they simply can't deal with and hurl unnecessary commentary, creating an unpleasant experience for others. Our hope is to understand and avoid them. Once again, thank you for sharing your experience and that the overall stay was a positive one.

Sslgsk wrote:Good to hear from most responses that the majority is a sensible crowd that understands
1. decent communication by today’s standards (clothed or without)
2. consent decency, and
3. later indulges in whatever is mutually agreed on.

Fringe always exist, it’s a given, question was how many/ how often such experiences occur during a visit, of course it could happen to any one , anytime, But most responses confirm a positive experience and so, thank you for the responses that gives a glimpse into your own experiences/observations @ Desire.

I agree with everyone else and I don’t want to be repetitive so I will just add this: a place like Desire can be really therapeutic, especially for those of us who had some bad experiences in their life. It can really boost your self confidence especially if you are a woman and reminds you to focus on the good, helps you to see what’s really valuable for you and leave behind all the crap, all those fringe that you mentioned, all the bad things..forget about all the stuff that is just a waste of time and helps you remember there is so much more about life than what we had experienced in the past.
Desire is the perfect place to surround yourself with awesome people, and hear their positive outlooks and stories and trust me, that positivity, that great energy is so contagious right from the start.

I think someone like your wife who is a survivor could really benefit more than others from such an experience but it might take several trips to realize how much you guys and your relationship can benefit from this, how much it can heal you, transform you for life. Enjoy all your Desire vacations, they are magical!