Nervous Newbie

[Newtome]

My wife and I have been all over these forums for the last couple of months and they are so informative! We haven’t booked yet, but are trying to decide on the best time to lock in to Pearl. We’ve been happily married for seven years and are not into the LS. We’ve never visited a nude resort or anything similar.

We’re both in our late 30’s. We’ve wanted for years to find a place that we could have sex and perform other acts in public, as the thought of being watched is thrilling. We are also intrigued by the idea of watching others. Desire looks to be a dream come true!

However, never being in such an environment, we have obviously had many discussions on very real possibilities and unknowns. We’ve read countless reviews stating body image is of no concern once you’re there and there are individuals of all shapes and sizes. My wife is very petite and thus very small chested. Basically nonexistent. I adore her perfect, perky small breasts and what they did for our two children and think she’s the sexiest thing on earth and can’t wait to show her off! However, she unfortunately can be insecure about them at times and feels she is “not womanly”. I want her to be comfortable as this trip is for us to connect, enjoy time away, and most importantly, relax (and have a whole lot of sexy fun with each other - I’m not kidding, we can’t wait to have unlimited play time!)

My question is this: we have seen numerous posts about how over half of the woman that frequent the resort have had their breasts done in some way or another. While I’d hope she would be fine with this, we are very aware of the fact that until we are there, we don’t know what our comfort or security levels will be. Have any women faced this concern? Not of being judged, but feeling inadequate (even though she has NO reason to, I can not control her body image, as she’s been emotionally abused over her body in the past - she’s come a long way though)? If you thought you would feel that way and found that to be unwarranted once there, what specifically helped?

If we do find she is overwhelmed by all the nudity in her face, is there opportunity to sort of separate ourselves from it and enjoy at least a little private time outside of our room? I hope none of this comes across as shallow or the wrong way. As I’ve said, I think my wife is the sexiest woman alive and when that woman lets loose and is comfortable, she’s a goddess. But she can be shy too and the last thing I want is for her to be uncomfortable and then be “stuck” in such a small space. She’s so excited over the thought of being seen and I do believe we will see sides of each other we’ve never seen before in such an environment, but we have to be open to all possibilities before taking such a leap. I personally think it will help her feel as sexy as she is!

[texascouple1208]

To reiterate what is often said here - all body types are appreciated. Your wife has nothing to be concerned about. In fact, a visit to Desire may do wonders for any body image issues she may have. My wife's breasts are natural and not particularly large, fed two babies, etc. and she has never felt out of place. I think one of the great things about Desire is the variety and celebration of it. Part of what lead us to the lifestyle was the curiosity to experience the physical aspects of different body types, partners, and techniques.

That said, if you two are feeling like you need a bit of a break, the beach is usually very quiet and peaceful and affords a fair amount of privacy. I am guessing that the quiet end of the pool at Pearl would be similar, but we have not spent enough time at Pearl to say that with full confidence.

[CokeMann]

Start here " Required Reading for Desire Newbies "

[beachnbaja]

I am sure others can help much more than we can. But, we can assure you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
On two different fronts:
1. Yes, there are absolutely all shapes and sizes. It will not take you 5 minutes to find many other's with small chests, large chests and everything in between. Btw, this applies to height, weight, penis size, everything. We certainly understand the concern, but it really will not be one at all once you are there. As we often joke with each other, when you have a place full of naked people...no one feels naked. You genuinely do not even notice it once you are there.

2. Yes, you can absolutely find more private places. Especially for your first time, this can be a wonderful way to ease your way in. As you have read in other reviews, there is a "busy/party" side of the pool and a very quiet side. The pool is quite large and it curves a bit. So its very easy to be on the quiet end and not even be able to see the other end. On the quiet end, there are several lounge chairs and several cabana beds. Those cabana beds are the best kept secret at Pearl imo. At just about any other resort in the world, those would cost hundreds of dollars a day. At Pearl, they are complimentary. Not only that, but you will almost always find several available. These are not only terribly relaxing and romantic, but they are also very private. They have sheer curtains around them and they really help anyone who feels a tad hesitant to get naked right away. There will be at most 10 people on that end. Literally. Btw, that end of the pool also often has cooler pool temps. This is one of the reasons its so quiet.
Our other recommendation would be the cabana beds on the beach. These have the same sheer curtains and are even more separated from the pool (and therefore the majority of people). These ALWAYS have some open. We were there 5 days on our trip and we started at these beach beds every day. Most days, we were the ONLY ones on there. Its incredibly private and so sexy. Because of the resort's location, it is also terribly private (meaning almost no one walks by all day). For us, this was total luxury. You are very close to the bar from these beach beds, you are all by yourselves, and you lay there wondering how you ended up in such an incredible place and why it took you so long to find it.

Beyond this, I can nearly guarantee you that it will not take long for you both to be over in the pool or hot tub area in all your nude glory. And you will quickly realize that all of your fear and anxiety was for naught. But the truth is that those of us who have been exactly where you are can say that all day...and it won't matter until you are there for yourself to experience it. But experience it you must. It is truly divine.

[Texzuelano]

You and she will be fine, especially if she talks to other guests. Our first visit was to Pearl as well and we found plenty of space to be alone. Actually too much alone time when we look back.

No one is without some kind of body issues when they arrive, but the complimentary comments from other guest makes us all feel more confident. If she or you are overwhelmed and need to spend some time alone, there are plenty of places to do so (other than your room). Chat with the staff (like the playmakers and bartenders), get involved in the activities, get a couples massage and pretty soon you will forget about everything but figuring out how to stay longer.

[Newtome]

Thank you both for the responses! That Newbie post was so helpful, but it was one of the posts that I noticed discussed “enhancements” being common and made me think a bit on how she’d deal with that. I think that’s what I’m hoping, is that this will be GOOD for her self esteem and force her to face her insecurities, learning they are silly and she is beautiful. Just curious to see if it has had a negative impact on any women’s esteem being around so many that they might personally feel inferior to. Or if they were surprised to find that they did not feel so, what was it specifically that made them so comfortable. The thought has crossed my mind that anyone that might not have enjoyed the experience would be less likely to be on the board posting

[Newtome]

Wow! It’s amazing how we could read so many threads basically saying the same thing in different ways, but just these few direct responses have been so helpful and reassuring! Thank you so much! I am even more excited for her (and myself) than I was before

[CokeMann]

After observing Desire newbies on numerous trips(too many to count now - lol) since 2003, there seems to be three distinct ways that newbies approach their first public nudity experience.

• Embrace it (rip the bandage<clothes> off quickly) at the first opportunity.
• Ease into it (peel the bandage<clothes> off sloowly) over hours or days.
• No way (the bandage<clothes> is my armor)

What is right for you individually or as a couple is up to you, the thing is at Desire all of the above are really irrelevant to the other guests

Boob jobs, tats, surgical scars, etc - they exist everywhere in the day to day world - why would/should it make any difference observing them at Desire ??

[CanadianGirl]

We met a couple last trip...who were telling us about their first trip. The wife cried at the Airport, then sat in a taxi outside the resort for almost an hour and cried. They talked it over, finally she went in and went straight to her room where they spent the first night. When we met them they were on their 13th trip and she was the life of the party. One of the funnest people I have met there. She was saying how she wished she knew then what she knows now...but it's one of those things you have to go through.
The one big thing I would recommend is just to go. You will not be judged in any way, shape or form. You will have the time of your life. We usually spend most of the day on the beach, it is a bit quieter and you can spend lots of time by yourself if you so wish.

[Yeipi]

We met a couple last trip...who were telling us about their first trip. The wife cried at the Airport, then sat in a taxi outside the resort for almost an hour and cried. They talked it over, finally she went in and went straight to her room where they spent the first night. When we met them they were on their 13th trip and she was the life of the party. One of the funnest people I have met there. She was saying how she wished she knew then what she knows now...but it's one of those things you have to go through.
The one big thing I would recommend is just to go. You will not be judged in any way, shape or form. You will have the time of your life. We usually spend most of the day on the beach, it is a bit quieter and you can spend lots of time by yourself if you so wish.

Our experience was very much the same, except for the crying
When I booked our first trip, my wife was not sure about going to Desire. When we got there, she said to me "Enjoy because this is the first and last time we will come to this place" and we just returned from our 9th or 10th trip. She really enjoys being there (We are not in the lifestyle) and she has gone from "I will be nude at the beach bed and that's it!" to having sex at the beach and jacuzzi beds with people around. Desire is magic!
Now in regards to body types and boob sizes, you will find everything! Big, small, natural, done, beautiful, more beautiful, absolutely beautiful.... Everything!!! So your wife will be absolutely fine! Go there and have fun! You will want more!

[EmptyNesters]

On our last trip in October, there was a woman who was adamant that she was not going to get naked because she didn't want people to make comments about her body. By day 2 she was naked and having people take body shots off of her in the hot tub and licking the same off others.

[werfun]

Just shows how a Desire vacation can change some people views about having a good time. On our first Desire vacation in Cabos the ladies loved talking about what they called three day ladies. Ladies that arrived at Desire and kept the suits on, then on day 2 they took their tops off and by day 3 they were nude and wondering why the waited 3 days. We would sit by the pool bar when a new lady arrived at the pool wearing their suit the ladies would bet on how long the new lady would wear her suit.. I won many a body shots that way..

[SensualCouple55]

We had a similar experience the first time we went to Desire...our first clothing optional experience. The only difference from the above for her was 3, 2, 1... three hours in suit, two hours topless, and one hour later full on here’s my birthday suit nude. Looking back now we wonder why we were shy and why the heck didn’t we do this sooner in our lives??
Enjoy Desire!!

[northtxcouple1993]

Been married 27 years. Our first c/o trip was our honeymoon in 1993 at Hedo II. Wife had never been to a c/o resort and was somewhat reluctant to disrobe. Well, that lasted about 30 minutes. Six and a half day of absolute nakedness followed. Relax! You'll have a great time. No-one pressures anyone to do anything outside their comfort zone.

[Thrill Seekers]

We have only been to Pearl one time for seven days in August 2019. We had never been to a clothing optional or life style resort before. So needless to say we were nervous and over whelmed at first.
The first thing I would like to say is your statement that half the women have had their breast worked on or enhanced. When we were there I would estimate the number more like 20% and many of them had work done due to cancer side affects. We saw a few people, male and female, that looked like super models, but the vast majority were very average looking (real people) including us.
If it helps her tell her to get a mesh bathing suit so she feels covered and she can still get full sun. If/when she gets more comfortable she can take it off, or not.
As for wanting privacy Pearl has two areas that I can think of, the beach, and the quiet side of the pool. Both areas have cabana beds with sheer curtains. When you are in those areas people give you plenty of space even with the curtains open.
In my opinion the best part of Pearl is that it is what you want to make it. It can be as tame or exciting as you want it to be.