Yet another newbies question...

[tempanon2]

To begin with, we'd like to thank everyone for the trip reports, answers, posts, etc - not to mention for the board itself! We've probably read every first time related post twice!

As a soon-to-be empty nest couple and both turning 50, we've been wondering about doing a couples only, more sexually adventurous (at least adventurous for us) getaway and have been looking at going to Pearl. One thing that really spoke to us was the description of the culture as being sexually charged, but very accepting of non-LS folks.

Anyway, having read a lot of the trip reports, we had two questions and thought we'd reach out to the collective experience of those here. The reason for asking is that (it seems) that the trip reports seem to skew towards LS people or non-LS people who started to dip their toes into the water, so to speak. That totally makes sense, since we can imagine the adrenaline rush from that!

Anyway, we were wondering....

First, she is uncertain/nervous about going topless or nude - and having the option was a big draw given the C/O setting. She wants to at least use the opportunity to dress sexier/skimpier than normal, but is unsure about going farther. (Going nude is an definite draw for me). Given what you've seen, how much would she feel like she is standing out if she never goes topless or less the whole time we're there? She might try doing so and we like the idea of things like dressing up for theme nights,etc -- but she doesn't like the idea of feeling like she "has to" go farther, if that makes sense.

Second, we are non-LS and don't expect that to change on this trip, though we like the idea of being somewhere that feels sexually charged. Most descriptions imply a roughly 50-50 split of LS/non-LS folks, but it seems like many of the first-time non-LS trip reports include people getting drawn in a bit. (e.g. flirting, a kiss, or more) As an example, is just hanging out or chatting at the hot tub going to be viewed as "accepted but weird" if there's no "interactions" with other couples?

Basically, we're looking to have a bit of a sexual/romantic adventure, but one that might look pretty vanilla for the average person at Pearl. In the end, I guess we're wondering if we'll feel like we're being looked at like "that weird prudish couple", lol.

[eddieandjojo]

So, I'll kick it off, make it very short and sweet.

1 - no issue whatsoever wearing her sexy swimsuits, saw at least three or four people last week that wore them all day/afternoon. As you noted, it's clothing optional and that allows anyone to go at their own pace.

2 - Desire has guests at both ends of the spectrum and many in between. It draws nudists, lifestyle and guests that just want a sexy vibe without being categorized.

Go with no expectations, talk a bunch before and during your visit and you'll have an awesome time. You will meet some really great people.

[tempanon2]

Thanks so much for the reply - that's reassuring!

From everything we've seen, we're excited (if nervous) to finally commit, but wanted a little reassurance that being more vanilla/less adventurous would be "accepted" vs. "tolerated".

[STL-MO-CPL]

One thing that really spoke to us was the description of the culture as being sexually charged, but very accepting of non-LS folks.

We can assure you that it is!

Given what you've seen, how much would she feel like she is standing out if she never goes topless or less the whole time we're there?

I believe she won’t stand out. There’s no topless police going around watching to see which woman show their boobs throughout the day. She will find early on that it’s empowering to dress sexy in a safe environment where the absolute vast majority of the attention she receives is flattering and positive. It’s a huge confidence boost!

She might try doing so and we like the idea of things like dressing up for theme nights,etc -- but she doesn't like the idea of feeling like she "has to" go farther, if that makes sense.

If anyone makes you feel that way, you should immediately contact security.

As an example, is just hanging out or chatting at the hot tub going to be viewed as "accepted but weird" if there's no "interactions" with other couples?

No! Chatting and hanging out is the whole point of the pre-dinner hot tub time. Nobody cares if you hook up with other couples or not. Just enjoy the view if you like watching others who do! They’re putting on a show for a reason.

In the end, I guess we're wondering if we'll feel like we're being looked at like "that weird prudish couple", lol.

No, you’re going to have the best vacation of your life. Put zero pressure on yourself to do anything beyond just socializing and taking it all in on your first trip. As you can see by many of the people here, this probably won’t be your last trip to Pearl!

[tempanon2]

Thanks for the thoughtful and reassuring answers! We appreciated your last trip report. It’s encouraging that you’re deciding to go back!

[happyrwe]

We are not of the LS either and wife felt the same way first visit.It is amazing how relaxed Pearl can make you feel and you don't worry about anything.Have seen this many times where women feel the same and just need to get comfortable with the crowd.When your trip is over you won't be able to plan your next trip quick enough.Our 5th trip coming in June.Each gets better now and wonder what the worry was all about.

[CanadianGirl]

We were totally like you on our first trip. We were non-LS. We were just looking for an adventure so decided to try it. In our experience you will not be pushed or pressured into anything what so ever. I can pretty guarantee by day 1 she will be topless, by day 2 totally nude and day 3 you will be laughing wondering why you were so nervous about being topless or nude.
We've been six or seven times and met many many couples who were not at all LS people, I would say it is somewhere around 50/50 but it's not something you will really notice while you are there. Everyone just have fun. That's they big draw for us...the people you meet.
The atmosphere is super sexually charged....you will be amazed at how much you will feel sexually rejuvenated.
You will not in any way be viewed as "prude" or anything else. Just go and enjoy.

[jandr2u]

First, she is uncertain/nervous about going topless or nude - and having the option was a big draw given the C/O setting. She wants to at least use the opportunity to dress sexier/skimpier than normal, but is unsure about going farther. (Going nude is an definite draw for me). Given what you've seen, how much would she feel like she is standing out if she never goes topless or less the whole time we're there? She might try doing so and we like the idea of things like dressing up for theme nights,etc -- but she doesn't like the idea of feeling like she "has to" go farther, if that makes sense.

We're non-LS, but experimenting S-L-O-W-L-Y, we've been to DRM twice now. The first trip my wife went topless here and there and nude once in a while. On our second trip, she bought a bunch of micro bikinis that were sexy af and wore them all day every day. She thinks its sexier to have something sexy on than it is to be naked. I don't feel like she was shunned at all. She had a blast. It's really her preference as she wants to wear bikinis she couldn't wear on family trips. Same goes for theme nights. She wears the sexiest outfits and costumes our imagination can conjure, but they always cover her "private bits". Again, sexy af and NO ONE shunned her in her theme night costumes for SURE. Many said she had the best costumes of the night. So don't worry about being shunned for not getting naked. Frankly, anyone that would treat you that way you wouldn't want to be around anyway. But rest assured, that's not the vibe of the crowd at DRM and I'm sure Pearl is the same.

Second, we are non-LS and don't expect that to change on this trip, though we like the idea of being somewhere that feels sexually charged. Most descriptions imply a roughly 50-50 split of LS/non-LS folks, but it seems like many of the first-time non-LS trip reports include people getting drawn in a bit. (e.g. flirting, a kiss, or more) As an example, is just hanging out or chatting at the hot tub going to be viewed as "accepted but weird" if there's no "interactions" with other couples?

Sure, there will be some folks that will limit their time with you because they're there to connect with other LS folks, but I'm sure you will have your fair share of people, both LS and non-LS, that will be friendly and engaging no matter your preference. Its a VERY social place and not just because half the crowd wants to get into your pants, LOL. It's just a great place to connect with a lot of great people.

Basically, we're looking to have a bit of a sexual/romantic adventure, but one that might look pretty vanilla for the average person at Pearl. In the end, I guess we're wondering if we'll feel like we're being looked at like "that weird prudish couple", lol.

Do not worry about being the "prudish couple". Unless you're running around in utter shock and amazement, gasping at what's happening around you, you won't have anything to worry about.

You'll have a great time if you go with no agenda and just let yourself be in the moments as they unfold. You'll be back.

[Darin & Melissa]

You guys won’t have an issue at all. We’ve seen everything from someone fully clothed around the pool, one piece swimsuits, micro, topless, to fully naked. It’s your vacation, do what makes you comfortable.

One good thing about Pearl is the size of the pool. If things get a bit overwhelming you can always go relax on the quiet side where there a less people. Or head out and chill on the beach under a palapa.

I hope this helps and am glad you found this site and have able the get the info you’re looking for.

[Yeipi]

We have never been to Pearl but gone to DRM like 9 times. We are not in the LS and in our first couple of trips, my wife was willing to get naked although you could see she was not enjoying it a lot (Trying to cover her parts with towels because "it was cold", running to the jacuzzi to get under the water asap, etc). And once she realized nobody cares what you are/do if you follow the minimum rules of respect, she started feeling more and more comfortable to a point where we had sex in front of several crowds in our last trip this past January, at the beach and the jacuzzi beds.

You and your wife can do whatever you want and you will have fun. The people at Desire are fantastic!!! They welcome you no matter what you are wearing or not wearing. No worries at all!

[tempanon2]

Thanks for all the replies! Super helpful and appreciated!

[Twopeas]

My wife and I were just there and we were and still are non-LSers we tried pearl because I love being nude, my wife does not but we are far from prudes. . I was nude every chance we got. My wife stayed clothed the whole 5 days. She has sexy clothing but certainly not exotic. We had no issues chatting and socializing with the other guests. we did have some flirting, but just like a normal bar.....but without clothes. Nothing unwelcome and we never felt pressured. If anyone didn’t like the fact that I was nude and my wife was not, we couldn’t tell and frankly couldn’t care less. We had a blast. We hope you do too. As a matter of fact, we just decided this weekend that we will be going back to celebrate valentines day again !

[goingbare]

We agree with everything eddieandjojo said... 100%
Go at your own speed.
On our 1st trip.. long, long, long ago.... it took Annie 3 days before she was totally nude and happy with it. Now she cannot wait to get that glass of champagne and strip naked.

Goingbare
or
Dave & Annie

[SteveNMary]

Great responses. These perspectives help a lot of us “first timers” better understand what to expect, and what to not expect. We are hoping to get to Pearl in September this year. My wife always liked going topless at the Wynn pool in Vegas until they started to prohibit it . So I don’t think that will be a problem. After that, we will have to see what inspires!!! Looking forward to seeing you on the beach soon.
Steve and Mary

[STL-MO-CPL]

My wife always liked going topless at the Wynn pool in Vegas until they started to prohibit it .

We tried Bare at the Mirage. It was cool to be at a topless optional pool in the US, but it wasn't quite the same atmosphere at Pearl. I had a good time, but it wasn't quite the same.