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Newbies

PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 2:18 pm
by Jpbtnt98
Hi - my wife an I are looking to book a trip in October. We have never done anything like this before but are excited about the idea of exploring and pushing our limits. Any suggestions out there that might help put our mind at ease. We have been married for 23 years and are in our mid 40s. We aren’t sure how wild we would get on this trip but we are looking for advice on what to expect or possibly even do while there.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2021 3:10 pm
by CokeMann
As a start, I would highly suggest that you read thru the Trip Reports from other forum members ;)

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2021 7:44 pm
by u21720
Jpbtnt98 wrote:Hi - my wife an I are looking to book a trip in October. We have never done anything like this before but are excited about the idea of exploring and pushing our limits. Any suggestions out there that might help put our mind at ease. We have been married for 23 years and are in our mid 40s. We aren’t sure how wild we would get on this trip but we are looking for advice on what to expect or possibly even do while there.


My wife and I will be there Oct 14th- 23rd 2021. This will be our 2nd time at Pearl.

What we found was that people are social and friendly. We went to dinner several times with multiple couples; some of whom were openly in the lifestyle. My wife and I were asked several times "Why we decided to come to Desire". I believe that if you give a "non-Lifestyle" answer, you are probed no further. We found the although we were not asked to join any LS "Private parties", we were very welcome to join the fun and social activities, and even asked back to dinner by those same couples. We never felt shunned or pressured.

We would recommend going “all- in” on theme nights, and the nightly entertainment at the disco.

As far as worrying about body image- forget it. Everyone has flaws. If you ask the most perfectly sculpted man or woman, they would say that they are self-conscious about some aspect of their body. Short, tall, skinny, fluffy, stretch marks, scars... It doesn't matter. What does matter is how you participate and socialize.
In regards to Jumping into the LS, our only suggestion is: talk it over AT LENGTH prior to your trip. Make sure you both agree on your limits and then strictly adhere to them. You can always set new limits on your next trip(s). Safe words are also a good idea (in case anyone has a change of mind or if something just doesn’t feel right).

All in all, Desire Pearl is a great environment. It's the reason we will be going back. If you will be there the same time, feel free to shoot us a PM. Enjoy your time!

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 11:49 am
by tj71903
Jpbtnt98 wrote:Hi - my wife an I are looking to book a trip in October. We have never done anything like this before but are excited about the idea of exploring and pushing our limits. Any suggestions out there that might help put our mind at ease. We have been married for 23 years and are in our mid 40s. We aren’t sure how wild we would get on this trip but we are looking for advice on what to expect or possibly even do while there.


I would agree with the above advice to read the trip reports. Our first trip was last July and we've been back several times since (with more to come). We'd never been to anywhere like Desire and still haven't.

Biggest and best advice is to go in with an open mind and on the same page.

You'll have fun.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2021 4:51 pm
by Yeipi
I would recommend to read not only the trip reports but also all other topics of your interest in this great forum. That is what I did before going to Desire for the first time and it was a great source of information to know what to expect.

Go and have fun! You will love it!

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 10:29 am
by beachnbaja
The thing that still stands out about Pearl to us that we absolutely love (and that took us by surprise) is just how romantic it is.

We spent so much time (rightly so) thinking about, talking about and to a lesser degree worrying about the nakedness, fun, etc. But, once we got there, so much of that simply worked itself out. Nothing was overwhelming at all and we were comfortable right away.

But something magical happens when you and your partner/spouse are "teammates" at this unknown place and get to enjoy it together. And spending more time at dinner every night talking, etc was one of the best parts for us.

Its something you have to experience but we would have felt much more at ease if we had of known just how romantic it could be for us as a couple.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 1:18 pm
by ADL1444
beachnbaja wrote:The thing that still stands out about Pearl to us that we absolutely love (and that took us by surprise) is just how romantic it is.

We spent so much time (rightly so) thinking about, talking about and to a lesser degree worrying about the nakedness, fun, etc. But, once we got there, so much of that simply worked itself out. Nothing was overwhelming at all and we were comfortable right away.

But something magical happens when you and your partner/spouse are "teammates" at this unknown place and get to enjoy it together. And spending more time at dinner every night talking, etc was one of the best parts for us.

Its something you have to experience but we would have felt much more at ease if we had of known just how romantic it could be for us as a couple.



This is perfect. Couldn't agree more ! We have always had a great relationship but after our first trip to Pearl our relationship hit high gear. Definitely an added bonus we hadn't really thought about.
We have friends that want to visit Desire with us ,but we have refused to go with them their first time just so they have the opportunity to experience the same feeling. I don't know if it would have been the same for us if we had been with a group of friends.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2021 3:52 pm
by werfun
We have to agree that a couples first trip to Desire should be just them no friends. The reason we say that is if one goes with friends on their first trip they tend to stay with their friends because they are not sure what is happening. They miss out on what Desire can really mean and do for their relationship. They tend to spend their time with their friends because that is what they are use to. After returning home they say that trip was nice but not worth the expense. and never return to discover what Desire can really be like for couples.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 12:40 pm
by InLoveForever
We tried looking at the trip reports as suggested, but it seems there aren't too many trip reports being posted that are current, either for Pearl or DM. Are we missing something?

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 1:14 pm
by tj71903
I assume people are choosing not to travel as much. Before we went we read them all the way back a few years. If you have questions just ask.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 2:38 pm
by InLoveForever
Worried about the new restrictions, and false positive testing that might get you stuck in Mexico for ?? days. Could be worse places to be stuck but if you are forced to stay in your room, that's not much fun. Not worried about Covid, just worried about false positive tests and controls that could prevent you from coming home in a timely manner. It's hard to find concrete info about the whole process.

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2021 12:24 am
by VCouple
InLoveForever wrote:Worried about the new restrictions, and false positive testing that might get you stuck in Mexico for ?? days. Could be worse places to be stuck but if you are forced to stay in your room, that's not much fun. Not worried about Covid, just worried about false positive tests and controls that could prevent you from coming home in a timely manner. It's hard to find concrete info about the whole process.


Agreed! Not concerned about COVID but the unreliable tests...

Re: Newbies

PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2021 12:47 pm
by DKCouple
Jpbtnt98 wrote:Hi - my wife an I are looking to book a trip in October. We have never done anything like this before but are excited about the idea of exploring and pushing our limits. Any suggestions out there that might help put our mind at ease. We have been married for 23 years and are in our mid 40s. We aren’t sure how wild we would get on this trip but we are looking for advice on what to expect or possibly even do while there.


My husband and I are in our mid-40s - our frist trip was not to Pearl but to a smaller resort in Europe (Spice in Lanzarote - sadly closed now), without having ever gone to any clubs or anything like that.

We were overwhelmed by the sexy atmosphere and the biggest surprise was how normal it all seemed, just a day or two into our stay. The naked people, the PDA/PDS (which is much more "out there" in Europe) .. the first trip we just enjoyed the sexy atmosphere - had A LOT of sex just between the 2 of us and I had one sexy experience with another woman. But as you will learn if you read the trip reports in here, meeting the people - the open, sweet and friendly people. I was very scared before going, because I had this idea that the lifestyle people would be scary and aggressive. Nothing could be further from the truth. I always say "if only all men were as well behaved as the men you meet in the Lifestyle, it would be so much more safe and nice to be a woman"

This was in 2013 and we never looked back. Our first trip to Pearl was for my 40th birthday in 2015 and we have been back to Pearl 6 times, we have been to Spice 3 times, HEDO once and different places in Spain - and still the people are the very best part of the Lifestyle. We have made so many friends - not only Lifestyle friends, but also people with whom we just share a vanilla friendships.

2020 has been awful - we have not gone on any trips to Lifestyle places, and we miss it badly. We are booked for Pearl in November and we really hope it is going to happen.

At Pearl we especially enjoy the theme nights and the disco - and of course Jacuzzi-time ;) AND the beautiful hotel with the best, most friendly staff we have ever met.

If you have questions you are welcome to PM us.

Mr and Mrs. DK.