Desire Resort Forums

So we went to Pearl for the first time in April and had an absolute BLAST!! What a freeing experience, but that is not the point of this post. Maybe we will get a trip report written at some point, but we wanted to pass along our one BIGGEST tip for newbies that really caught us by surprise…….

You will have the “fresh fish”/yellow wrist band on denoting you are first timers. This will cause people to approach you and welcome you. Some of those people are genuinely nice, kind people and will welcome you and help you feel at home. Some people are just trying to see “where” you are. And others are, well, others……but what we want to pass on is that, at some point, people will ask if you are in the lifestyle. BE VERY CAREFUL how you answer this question!!!! Just be honest!

For example….if your response is “NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” (which is fine, if it is true), then that will get around to people cause EVERYONE is talking, If you are curious or you do not know, then say that. We had an experience where we told an older, VERY kind and helpful couple that we were not in the lifestyle simply because we were not interested in them……well that turned into them talking to us for a very long time several evenings as they were not afraid to monopolize our time as they thought we were not looking for anything or anyone else.

The whole thing was an amazing experience, just be careful how you answer questions as the answers may haunt you a bit! lol

Oh, and was it fun for first timers and would we go back? …….we are already booked for September!

Great advice to others, our first trip was last Feb and we are booked for Sept 16-23 when are you going in Sept? It's such a fun atmosphere whether you are LS(we are) or not.

That can definitely be a loaded question. I would consider us in the LS but when asked sometimes we say no just because we aren't full swap swingers. Other times we will give a more detailed answer. Most couples at Desire at a minimum have probably talked about and are curious about LS.

If she is in the mood and gives a couple that look and vibe they will forget whatever gossip they may have heard that day.

Great advice, our first trip we didn’t know what to say we were all over the place. We were and are still not full swap couple, but we are very very picky of who we play with other than full swap. So now we just basically say what kind of play were into.

I think regardless of armband color or LS status, you bring up a good point. If you’re there to mingle, sometimes new folks will get ‘stuck’ with one couple for too long and not know how to extradite themselves from a convo or situation. If you’re enjoying things, no worries. But if not, always good to have an exit strategy to ‘stick and move’ to meet new folks. A code word or a look will be a good indicator to your partner it’s time to move on.

SusanAndDavid wrote:I think regardless of armband color or LS status, you bring up a good point. If you’re there to mingle, sometimes new folks will get ‘stuck’ with one couple for too long and not know how to extradite themselves from a convo or situation. If you’re enjoying things, no worries. But if not, always good to have an exit strategy to ‘stick and move’ to meet new folks. A code word or a look will be a good indicator to your partner it’s time to move on.

This is why we like Temptations because we both prefer singles so we don't have a stuck feeling. However we like the Desire facilities more. Better food, more relaxing and the hot tub is fun at night.

We answer that question with "It's not a lifestyle for us, it's more of a hobby, because it's only a very small part of our life that we enjoy when we find a couple we connect with." Hopefully that puts out a message that we're open to sex with other couples, but it isn't a given just because we're talking with someone.

We've also had to be very blunt at times when there's a misconception or we have miscommunicated our interests and intentions. Some people take to subtleties, others need a direct conversation.

Been going to Desire for 15 years never had a problem and think two time were asked if we were in the lifestyle. Most people can tell just by a conversation without coming directly out and asking.

And others are, well, others……but what we want to pass on is that, at some point, people will ask if you are in the lifestyle. BE VERY CAREFUL how you answer this question!!!! Just be honest!

To be or not to be in the lifestyle is a difficult question, almost impossible to answer. Because what really is lifestyle? For some, having sex in public is being on the LS; for others it is not enough, but participating in games in the pool where you end up, for example sucking someone else's boob or someone else's d*ck, is. The most purists will say that only by having sex with another couple can you consider yourself a lifestyler.

Another circumstance may be that, until 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday, we were not in the lifestyle. But a foursome giving an irresistible show in the playroom, plus a three-word question from my partner: "May I join?", meant that at 11:32 p.m. we were already lifestylers (real case).

So the questions and their eventual answers are nothing definitive or defining. Rules and circumstances change.
An open mind, together with the greatest respect for others, are the attitude that will allow you to enjoy Desire Resort 100%, regardless of whether it is your first or your twentieth time there.

"It's not a lifestyle for us, it's more of a hobby, because it's only a very small part of our life that we enjoy when we find a couple we connect with."

On the other hand, this is one of the smartest answers I've ever read about it.

We went a few days without bands this last week. Nobody said a thing to us.

tj71903 wrote:We went a few days without bands this last week. Nobody said a thing to us.

How did you access your room? Or how did security know you were paid clients?

SusanAndDavid wrote:

tj71903 wrote:We went a few days without bands this last week. Nobody said a thing to us.

How did you access your room? Or how did security know you were paid clients?

"We" had a couple of photo and video shoots and so they kept having to be cut/ripped off as they are not aesthetically appealing in a camera lens. As the last shoot was toward the end of the trip, we figured it was too much of a hassle to go and get another new set of bands. So we just left one in the room and kept the other in a pocket or a bag when we remembered. Access is just calling the butler as they have the magic card that opens all doors.

Security knows us by now.