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No means No but???

PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 11:17 am
by Pete&Gina
Who do I talk to if by some slight chance, a guest persists about engaging in the lifestyle and we repeatedly say no?.. I would hate to ruin our trip by spending time in a Mexican jail!!!!!.....Pete b

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 11:49 am
by Barerunners
That's never happened to us...sometimes they may act a little disappointed but have never been persistent. Relax....

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 12:26 pm
by WhiteSands
Pete&Gina wrote:Who do I talk to if by some slight chance, a guest persists about engaging in the lifestyle and we repeatedly say no?.. I would hate to ruin our trip by spending time in a Mexican jail!!!!!.....Pete b


Just how drop dead gorgeous are you? LOL.
There will be plenty more fish in the sea........

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 5:18 pm
by danbo
This was a joke, right?

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 10:06 am
by honeycouple
Pete&Gina wrote:Who do I talk to if by some slight chance, a guest persists about engaging in the lifestyle and we repeatedly say no?.. I would hate to ruin our trip by spending time in a Mexican jail!!!!!.....Pete b


Speak with any DESIRE employee or ask for a manager. If its the male half a quick chat with the wife will most likely end that behavior.

Butt, I have honestly never seen anyone push things that far. Most of the time when anyone says no they mean it and no pressure to change your mind.

Hang out with us. Safety in Numbers right! It might help calm the nerves for ya!
First and foremost were there to enjoy one another. Were not going with the mindset that were going to hook up with others.

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 12:26 pm
by eeyore
We had one guy be a little too persistent on one trip to RM. Wife finally got him to stop by telling him that he was on the top of the list if we decided to take a plunge into the lifestyle. Otherwise he was a nice guy. I also agree that talking to their partner will likely work. Now at Hedo it is a different story. Almost got into a fight in the disco. They were letting single guys buy day passes. They thought that just because a woman is top less that they are free game. A big reason why we like Desire. This is just part of the hell I have to live with because I have an uber hot wife. :P

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 12:33 pm
by gaviao
It is true that the possibility of someone being too pushy is very low, but we had a bad experience in DRM, in 2003. That kept us away from Desire for 10 years, at the request of my wife. Luckily, last year our experience was magnificent at Pearl, so we'll back again in July.
Viewed from a distance, we were the responsibles for the bad experience, since we do not reject at the outset, and emphatically, proposals of a couple who did not respect the golden rule: "no means no".
So our advice is that when a guest behaves inappropriately, you should clearly stop him (or her). And if he insists, do not hesitate to report him immediately to a member of Desire's staff.
Later, a summary of that unfortunate history.

Have the best stay of your lives!

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 2:35 pm
by adrian
A little story from our 25 years of travel to resorts like DP--In all these years despite the fact that my wife was in previous years VERY pretty and always beautifully dressed (and of course you still are dear) we do not get approached. It is like we have some vibe which indicates that our connection to each other is way more powereful than anything we might consider outside. BUT --at our last trip to DP I left my wife in the Disco some time after midnight, after dancing for an hour or so, for a call of nature. While I was gone an attractive gentleman sidles up to her and whispers in her ear. Now she is wondering what he is going to propose, is he pretty enough for her to consider this. So he says--" I am a chiropractor and I can see that your husband's back is completely screwed --it is a miracle he can walk"--and he walks away. Now sir that may or may not be true, but as a pick up line I think you can do better. And anyway it was probably only my dance moves which gave you that impression. We will be back at New Year. Maybe you should try again.

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:28 am
by Pete&Gina
Yes I would think that was a joke in above reply. Not a question of being "drop dead gorgeous" just asking what are options if a guest persists. We are there jut to lay out by beach, pool..maybe a dive or 2 and 1 or 2 excursions. We will be there for 8 days so don't want to be tied down to do excursions and other stuff outside of the resort..Lay back and refuel the body/mind for the year....Pete

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 3:36 am
by Barerunners
You'll be fine as long as you don't run into a Chiropractic.

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:37 pm
by gaviao
If anyone is interested to know as an "innocent " action became uncomfortable harassment . It happened in September, 2003:
As I wake up early, use to leave the room and read while my wife awakes. At that time I was naked in a poolside lounge chair with my book and a coffee.
Came a girl, Mexican like me, and started making conversation . He asked me where I had gotten my coffee; I told him at the restaurant. She said she could not go to the restaurant because I was naked, and I replied that she just had to take a towel , cover , go for coffee and back. He did and came back to me.
He asked me where my wife was , I said she was still asleep . She said her husband was also asleep and with a hangover . She suggested that we go somewhere together , but I told her that my wife would meet me right where I was . She insisted saying last night her husband had sex with another couple, but that she had fallen out of the " menage a trois " and that she was really hot.
By that time, I was pretty excited to be in front of a naked, beautiful women and offering me sex. And my excitement was obvious, hehe! But I told her I was not the man she was looking for.
Later, during breakfast , I told my wife about the conversation with the unsatisfied girl . She played down the issue and told me that maybe I was misinterpreting the talk.
Throughout the day I didn’t saw the girl.

Around 7 pm we arrived at the main restaurant for dinner . A few minutes later the girl came with her husband , whom I didn’t know. Pointing to her, I told my wife who was .
For the first time in her life , intuition failed and my wife said, " They look like a very nice couple , we will invite them to sit with us."
So we shared the table . Within 15 minutes they were already proposing an exchange of partners. We said that we were in nudism and eroticism, but no way in the lifestyle . It seemed that they did not listen what we said , as insisted again and again . We use many arguments, but they did not understand either . We tried to be clear, but never cease to be friendly. The wine we drank (much more them than us ) put the situation more complicated .

At the end of dinner we went to our room and we talked about it.
Later in the disco, we saw them and they approached us again, now in a much more provocative way. They tried to touch us, to caress, until uncomfortable, we decided to get out soon.
Luckily they returned to their town early the next day, but for my wife it was an unpleasant experience. She argued that holidays are for relaxing and entertaining, not to fend off bullies.

As I said, it was our mistake for not firmly reject them from the start, but the language we Mexican use is not very direct and tend to talk with many euphemisms. We now know that we must enforce this rule "no means no" from the start.

We returned last year to Desire Pearl, and had an amazing week, how I hope will be our next holiday in July.

Re: No means No but???

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 4:37 pm
by eddieandjojo
Gaviao - just wanted to say thanks for your many posts to this forum and insight as a Mexican citizen! It is helpful for us foreigners to understand the thought process so please continue to remain active, it is appreciated! Your English is better than my Spanish so we understand, rest assured.

Como un Cubano nacido en los Estados Unidos no tengo mucho practica de escriber y hablar Espanol. Estamos en Cancun al fin de Julio por 7 dias. En Marzo pasamos 6 dias en Pearl y 7 dias en RM, nos encantamos los viajes a Mexico.
:L