Not going to make it,again

[CaptainR]

Again this year I was hoping to talk the wife in to going to one of the desire resorts for a vacation(I WAS THINKING PEARL) but I just can't talk her in to it. We are not in the lifestyle but I just wanted to go where there was a little excitement in the air. She has no problem with being nude, she just thinks she would not be comfortable with seeing some hot and heavy PDAs. But I will keep on trying.

[WhiteSands]

That's a shame as you really don't have to witness any PDAs if you don't wish to. Just avoid the jacuzzi area, and the playroom, simple! That's pretty much what we did on our first trip (I too had no issue with the nudity, but was not ready for the "other"). Now, several trips later however, it's a whole different story........

[CaptainR]

Yup, I tried that reasoning too.

[mrstommer]

As a woman who knows how she feels, because I used to feel the same way, perhaps I can share with you what persuaded me to say, " yes, we can try it ..."

Growing up shy, wouldn't wear a bikini, didn't think I would ever feel comfortable witnessing others' affectionate moments, how did Tommer get me to say yes? First, our relationship is trusting and we talk about our concerns openly, regarding any matter. He always complimented me, regardless of what I wore, but got revved up when he saw me wear sexy things, and encouraged it. Ok, so he had been to Mexico, and took me to two heavenly resorts, clothing required. We went for long walks on the beach daily. He encouraged me to not only wear the bikini he thought I looked good in, but to allow him to hold my top as we walked. Thus, my comfort level grew with being nude...which you say is not the issue. Great!

Next, on our walks, we would pass nude resorts. There was nothing sexually charged about it. So...when his curiosity arose about us going to a nude beach, I thought...hmm..we read online and found Desire. Our first trip we chose to split our vacation between the new clothing optional resort, Desire RM, and a favorite resort, clothing required, to debrief. This gave us the chance to sort out how we felt. We continued to talk the entire next year. The trip to Desire RM included day trips to Pearl. Because Pearl was not as sexually charged, or shall I say, there was not as much openly displayed PDA, I was willing to return. As has been mentioned, Pearl is classy, and if you do not wish to glimpse PDA, then avoid the jacuzzi and the playroom.

Long story short...or trying...continue communicating. That is key. If she wants to ask me anything, she can PM me.

[Beach girl]

I too was very hesitant to go out of my comfort zone. We were not sure what to expect so we booked two nights at DRM and then seven nights at another inclusive resort. I told myself if I was uncomfortable we could just keep to ourselves, I could handle anything for two days. I stressed over what I would wear to dinner and the disco. I sent my husband to the dining room and then the disco to make sure I was dressed appropriately, I trusted his judgement. Everyone is soo laid back and friendly, I was never uncomfortable. We had a fun time and enjoyed each other immensely, even asked for a late check out.We are planning our next trip and will stay longer this time. Please free to PM me with ANY questions.

[MandD]

That is a good plan, book 2 nights to feel it out, the decide if it is for you or not.. just fyi my wife is EXTREMELY religeous and found out she loves desire.

[rentman]

I feel like I just have to chime in here. Please feel free to let you wife read this post. I will share with you our experiences over the past few years. Others may have a different experience but this is the honest truth from our trips. We have stayed a total of 9 times at all 3 Desires (Damn you Cabo....Damn you). In all of our visits combined I can count the number of PDA's I have seen on one hand, and still have a few fingers left.
the impression I get from reading the forums, and I say forums because there are other adult forums that are even more explicit than this one, that the adult resorts are some kind of Roman Orgy. I have found the opposite to be true. I have found Desire, especially Pearl to be an extremely Classy place. We do not go with a group, I believe this is a big difference. We make it a point to try and travel during off peak times. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if you are there at the same time a lifestyle takeover is there you are probably going to see a little more activity than usual. What makes this a magical place is that if you want the "more activity" you can book during a takeover.

At both Desire resorts they have a pretty strict policy of no PDA's at the pool and beach. I can say that they enforce that policy.
We have enjoyed the hot tub on a regular basis and have not seen anything I would consider over the top at all. Again, Our experience is that the most over the top thing we have seen is maybe being in the hot tub and looking at the beds and seeing a lady's head bouncing up and down. If that bothers you just turn around and face the other way.

My wife is an early riser so we very rarely go to the hot tub after the nightly entertainment. That is when most of the action takes place. But that's not always the case either. a year ago in February we were in Cabo (hang on give me a second, OK I'm back) and decided to sneak out of the nightly entertainment early and head to the hot tub. we got there about 9:45 and My wife and I were the only ones in the hot tub for almost an hour. Finally we got bored and left.

I guess the point of this rambling post is RELAX, It' not as bad as you think it is. Here are some pointers if your are nervous.

Book during the off peak season, Sep-Nov
Check the calendar on this site and book when there is NOT a group
Avoid the hot tub after dinner, we have found happy hour to be rather tame
Hang out on the beach, it seems to be very quiet
Have fun, It's your vacation do what you want,

[CaptainR]

Thanks for all the very helpful post. Seriously, I appreciate all the advice. And like I said... we are not newbies when it comes to nude beaches. We have gone to many in our area and the Caribbean. We will probably spend a week at Orient beach on St Maarten this year instead of Pearl. (my avatar is from St Maarten on a vacation we took there a few years ago) I'm going to suggest the two or three day stay at pearl and see how that goes over. Sometimes I think she is more worried about me if we go to pearl. Not that I would ever cheat on her or anything like that.But I am a lot more adventurous and opened minded then her, but I would never do anything or push her to do anything she is uncomfortable with.

[CaptainR]

Okay, all I can say is you guys are geniuses. I told her about Pearl being a much more sophisticated place , more upscale. I told her to avoid the places that things may get a little more out of her liking. I told her no means no. And I told her we could go for a few days a then go somewhere else or vice versa. Well... this little guy must have done the trick, because she said okay this time. And she even said she would be on vacation and doesn't want to pack and than repack to go somewhere else. So looks like we will be making reservations for a week.

[CokeMann]

because she said okay this time. And she even said she would be on vacation and doesn't want to pack and than repack to go somewhere else. So looks like we will be making reservations for a week.

I also suggest that she registers and posts on the forums - there are lots of ladies(to ask questions/PMs of) on here that where in her shoes before they went for their first time.

[honeycouple]

Okay, all I can say is you guys are geniuses. I told her about Pearl being a much more sophisticated place , more upscale. I told her to avoid the places that things may get a little more out of her liking. I told her no means no. And I told her we could go for a few days a then go somewhere else or vice versa. Well... this little guy must have done the trick, because she said okay this time. And she even said she would be on vacation and doesn't want to pack and than repack to go somewhere else. So looks like we will be making reservations for a week.

Let her go at her own pace and you follow. Its about her comfort level and how she adapts to the Desire atmosphere.
Enjoy your time there. Im sure she will fall in love with Desire and will most likely plan you next trip before this one is over.