freakin out that I'm going to be judged

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freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Princessambergirl » Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:58 pm

Ugh, I would like to think that I am an average girl. 5"3 160 long dark hair green eyes...blah blah blah. I bye no means am perfect some that are :D and there are parts of my body I'm embarrassed about. I'm terrified about being in a bikini (much less no bikini, lol) more so here because of the "type" of resort this is... How do I go about getting over it.... Or not....is this a common problem or concern? Am I the only one especially bc I'm a first time visitor.. Thanks
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Bamacouple » Sun Nov 30, 2014 10:15 pm

Don't worry about it. You will see the beach body hunk and hunkette and the much more overweight people than you are or you perceive you are. Go and have fun. You really will not be out of place. But people like you and me are much more prevalent than the hunk and hunkette.
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby CokeMann » Sun Nov 30, 2014 11:29 pm

The best way to think of it is go to your local mall and look at the mix of people around you - now imagine them without clothes in a tropical setting - that is sort of what the typical mix of folks are during any given week at Desire.

You'll be fine - just don't overthink it ;)
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby WhiteSands » Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:32 am

It's a perfectly normal reaction. Remember, you won't be the 'best' or 'worst' looking person there, and you won't be judging the others will you? And we're just like you.
Believe it or not, I still freak out about how I look in a bikini (does this hang out of there, how does it look from the back?), but get me naked and I don't worry at all, it's a great leveller, and naked people tend to be non-judgemental. You'll understand when you get there x
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby CoupleInMD » Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:43 am

Princessambergirl wrote:I'm terrified about being in a bikini (much less no bikini, lol) more so here because of the "type" of resort this is... Am I the only one especially bc I'm a first time visitor.. Thanks

First of all, you are not the only person who has had that concern- I'd bet that most people have that thought going on in their minds the first time out. We had our very first visit to a clothing optional place when we visited Desire RM in October. Like you, we were a little nervous going in about whether we would be "attractive enough". Well, that feeling lasted all of about five minutes! It's an amazing thing... once you get naked and start talking to people, you find that the body-image concerns just melt away. There were all shapes, sizes, ages, and colors at the resort, and most everybody was very friendly- and completely non-judgemental! Some of the most fun, most interesting people we met were folks who happened to have non-model bodies in one way or another, whether it was an extra bit of seat padding, a bigger or smaller chest, a scar, a few more years than some, whatever. I feel a little silly even talking about that kind of thing now, because it seemed like it just didn't matter at the time.

Be proud of your body, and go in with a friendly, outgoing attitude- you will find that you're welcomed into the fold. And if you are looking for some sexual adventures on your trip, you will discover that there are plenty of people who will find you hot!

Don't worry, and have fun!
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Princessambergirl » Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:45 pm

I can honestly say that I greatly appreciate all the feedback, I am happy to know I am not the only one with virgin, haha concerns!!! :lol:
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby SJCrazy » Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:45 pm

Princessambergirl wrote:Ugh, I would like to think that I am an average girl. 5"3 160 long dark hair green eyes...blah blah blah. I bye no means am perfect some that are :D and there are parts of my body I'm embarrassed about. I'm terrified about being in a bikini (much less no bikini, lol) more so here because of the "type" of resort this is... How do I go about getting over it.... Or not....is this a common problem or concern? Am I the only one especially bc I'm a first time visitor.. Thanks


Desire is pure heaven. You can wear as much or as little swimsuit as you want, but the odds are that by the time you leave you won't feel the need for a suit any more.

Sexiness isn't a weight, height, boob/butt size or anything else. Just relax in your own skin, have a good time and don't worry about it. On the offchance somebody actually did judge you for being your sexy self, that would not be a cool thing to do at Desire and the overall Desire crowd and vibe does not tolerate anything like that. If somebody doesn't like the way you look, they can just go f**k themselves :D
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby K&S4Fun&Sun » Tue Dec 02, 2014 7:34 am

SJCrazy wrote:Sexiness isn't a weight, height, boob/butt size or anything else. Just relax in your own skin, have a good time and don't worry about it. On the offchance somebody actually did judge you for being your sexy self, that would not be a cool thing to do at Desire and the overall Desire crowd and vibe does not tolerate anything like that. If somebody doesn't like the way you look, they can just go f**k themselves :D


Couldn't agree more. I'm no action hero and I definitely am not the beat cop swinging the biggest baton on the beat ( :D ) but who the hell cares? My wife thinks I'm dead sexy and if no one else does then I still win. The vast majority of folks you meet there won't give a damn about anything but your friendliness. And if anyone judges you otherwise they are just a fucktard. :L
Have a great day! Hope to see you in the future.
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Mrladysman » Wed Dec 03, 2014 8:19 am

We were first timers at pearl relax you'll be fine my wife was feeling the same as you are my wife is 5 ft 2 inch and 110 pounds we had a room right by the pool when we got there she said she would not be able to take any clothing off at all o well that lasted for 10 min haha she loved it so much that she jumped out of shower and didn't have to put a stitch of clothing on to go to pool only to eat didn't need a bathing suit whole trip your going to be suprize how free you feel without clothing on and no one cares and this is from a woman that would never do that in a million years so just go have fun no one cares
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Barerunners » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:32 am

Mrladysman wrote:We were first timers at pearl relax you'll be fine my wife was feeling the same as you are my wife is 5 ft 2 inch and 110 pounds we had a room right by the pool when we got there she said she would not be able to take any clothing off at all o well that lasted for 10 min haha she loved it so much that she jumped out of shower and didn't have to put a stitch of clothing on to go to pool only to eat didn't need a bathing suit whole trip your going to be suprize how free you feel without clothing on and no one cares and this is from a woman that would never do that in a million years so just go have fun no one cares


Ditto!
Ok, I'll do that....
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Miacpl30 » Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:50 am

We just booked our 6th trip. If anything a pearl trip helps get the diet and execise going. Even with that everyone is super friendly and non judgmental
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby dsle » Wed Dec 03, 2014 6:12 pm

For whatever it's worth, we booked our first trip (arriving Saturday) almost 3 months ago, and I (Mrs.) have totally freaked out about my many imperfections (I'll spare the gory details, but this is not a matter of a passing negative thought). It has sometimes been my weight I've stressed about, or the impact of the three kids on my skin. But, I'm going to be over it. I'm going to go and do my very best to not be at all self-conscious and have a great time. My husband thinks I'm super sexy and if no one else does, that's fine cause I didn't pick them either. So, I'll let you know if I feel differently after we go, but if you want to go, then you should definitely do it. It's pushing me to be a little more accepting of my assets in addition to my imperfections, and that's probably a good thing.
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby couplenindy » Thu Dec 04, 2014 10:55 am

I am 5'6" 175lbs...2 C-section scars...some cellulite...natural breasts. I have been on 7 lifestyle friendly/clothing optional vacations...and LOVE them!!

I will be honest...there are more hard bodied, really sexy men and women than the average crowd...but there are plenty of people that look like me too! I still get a little nervous about my body before every trip...but the truth is...I am actually pretty happy with my body (I used to be 235!). So...maybe the super sexy people in the group aren't looking to hook up with me and my husband...but they are looking to party like a rock-star with us! In the hot tub and at the pool side...people of all shapes and sizes are talking and laughing together...no problem! Couples in the lifestyle...may seem to reach out to new friends that look more like them...but I think that is just because it increases their odds of meeting friends that might want to play.

This seems to help me...especially before/during a trip. Every morning when I wake up...I look at my naked body in the mirror and remind myself what a beautiful person I am...and find one thing about my physical body that I really like!

I am never going to be a hard bodied young person again...I refuse to spend my days feeling like I am a bad person because of that. If someone does not like me as a person because I am not their idea of super sexy...it says a lot more about them than it does about me! I am not in this life to make them happy!

Can't wait to hear about your trip!!
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby Mrladysman » Thu Dec 04, 2014 2:37 pm

Hi guys I'm mrladysman wife and I was reading all this on here well we were there in aug and it was my first time being naked any where all I have to say is the people were the best I'm 5 ft 2 inch 110 pounds and I'm not a spring chicken lol I never had my breast done or any thing else and I was so scared to take off my clothing well after 10 every thing was off what a great feeling and the people we met were the friendly people you'll ever find we laffed all week there like my hub said just be your self and have fun
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Re: freakin out that I'm going to be judged

Postby GordandChris » Fri Dec 05, 2014 6:12 pm

I have been to TTR (topless only) and Pearl. I felt much less judged when I was naked at Pearl. I am 50 and by no means tiny. I felt like I was made fun of at TTR but at Pearl I was "normal". I actually had a few women suggest I had the nicest breasts at the resort. :) I was so nervous before we arrived but it took less than 10 min. (the time it took to walk the length of the pool and be assigned our loungers for the week) for me to take it all off. You will LOVE the freedom of Pearl. (We are heading back in Feb)
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