As a little perspective, we have been to DP three times. We are 60 and have been a couple since we were 18. We are not in the LS and have not done anything with others, except the erotic massage at DP. Last year we got two erotic massages. This time one with Emanuel for my honey and Gladys for me.
My wife just does want anyone but me touching her lady bits. So she checks the two boxes, don't touch her vagina or
clit and leave us when they are done. Everything else is fair game. Me, I have nothing checked.....typical guy right? The massage was erotic for both of us. Emanuel spent time on her oiled breasts, butt, and nearly to the promised land...her pubic mound. Gladys, stroked my me and played with the boys. She was very skillful, but knew when to back off.
Tables pushed were pushed together and I stroked my wife below. I was told to go to her. We were completely covered in oil. The oil created an interesting suction effect from my thrusts. We both exploded at the same time.
Do what you feel comfortable with and always support your spouse on these kind of decisions.