Live report: August 26 - September 2, 2014

[ironranger]

Thanks for the report....is it possible to ask when they think the will have the lobby reno finished? We arrive for the first time in October..

Thanks

[Jenyphur]

I like your live updates...keep them coming.

I just want to say a few things to clarify our experience. We were *never* offered an upgrade nor did we receive a tour of the place. I see here all the time that people are offered the 'lovers upgrade' and quite honestly, we probably would have grabbed it if we had the opportunity. As far as the room with the paint thinner/stripper smell...we found that every morning as we walked by that building for the first 3 days, we could smell it. After that...we didn't notice it again so apparently they must have finished doing whatever they were doing.

The walkways are indeed wide enough for two people if the landscaping was trimmed back as it should and if no one else was on the pathway. My b/f owns a landscape and pool design company and installs some pretty elaborate landscaping /resort style backyards for outdoor living here in AZ, so this is probably where he is a bit more 'anal' about these types of things. Again, it's Cancun but as he said, it would be an EASY fix to widen and redo the sidewalks. If you go over that little bridge by the pond, you will see that the concrete bridge IS actually wide enough but then goes back down to a narrow sidewalk with that awkward criss cross concrete thing.

As far as the pier goes, we DID use the stairs that you were referring to...lol. But we were the only ones we saw using it...everyone else swam back to the beach, got out and walked back down to the end and jumped off again. I can only assume because it's NOT an easy task for the ladies to get themselves out of the water onto the first step...lots of upper body strength needed. Again..not really a problem for us. We loved the pier and diving and swimming...and lots of little fish all around. I miss that pier actually.

And for the record, I liked the porn they were showing for the most part....many hot, sexy scenes. It was definitely a bit more hardcore but I thought they were hot.

Please keep posting your updates, I am enjoying reading yours. Have a fabulous time!

Jen

[FromSeattle]

Day 4:

You know, if it weren't for writing this trip report I would have forgotten what day it is. I had to go back and read what days I have written about to know what day yesterday was. I still have 3 more days. The forst 4 went by so fast, but it feels like I have been here for a long time. It's funny, you go through stages here. When you first get here, you are the newbie. It's very easy to see who is new here. After day 3 or 4 you are the pro and new couples coming in become your little apprentices. When we showed up our new friends S & J from Missouri and "Doc" and D from New Jersey were our mentors for a lack of a better term. They took us in under their wings and "taught" us about Pearl. Yesterday "Doc" and D left, today S & J are leaving. It really gets tough seeing new friends leave. Now we have to go find new friends LOL. But in a place like this it is not hard. So now I have to try to remember yesterday's events. I always wondered when reading other people's live trip reports why they tailed off towards the end. Why was there way less detail and less substance to the reports. Now I know, it is hard to explain, but the feeling of relaxation and serenity come over you, and you just can't function the same way you did when you first got here. I'm a So Cal surfer born and raised. I lived the "Laid back" So Cal lifestyle. I have never felt more "Laid back" then I do now. So I will attempt to keep up what I have started.

The beginning of my days here actually start the same everyday. Up at about 6am-6:30am (I set an alarm, but I'm usually up before the alarm). I hit the gym and then go for a cool dip in the pool to cool off (I shower in between, I'm not taking that ino the pool - although I'm sure there is already plenty of sweat and other bodily fluids in there ) We sat our bag of beach crap at the loungers that Victor and Jared set up for everyone. I have tipped the both of them $10 for the week and they are amazing at making sure we are set up first thing in the morning. Then we went to breakfast. After breakfast we went to the spa to set up our massages from the "Lover's Upgrade" and walk around to check out what the spa has to offer. We set up a 11am relaxing massage. We went back to the beach and I played a great game of beach volleyball. It is very fun and I will be doing it again today. We were cutting it short to get to our massage so my team rallied, scored 10 unanswered points, we won and I was off. The massage was amazing. I have never felt so relaxed and refreshed. They have this very good "Green Juice" there of all natural ingredients that tastes amazing and is supposed to cleanse your blood an muscles. After the massage we sat for a bit with hot packs on our shoulders and then I went in the Swiss shower (Pretty darn cool - I will put one in my home someday) and then a couple of plunges in the cool plunge pool and back in the Swiss shower. I highly recommend the relaxing massage to EVERYONE! The MRS. set up a sensual massage for Monday and that is what prompted me to ask the question in the General Discussions about sensual vs. erotic. We'll see how that one goes. While she was doing that, I went to the front and set up our Monday dinner. Monday is the day we celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary and we are going to have the romantic dinner out at the pier. I don't want Monday to get here too quick because that means we are leavin the next day, but I also can't wait to give my wife the most romantic day/evening I have ever been able to in our 20 year relationship.

Back to the pool. I participated in the beer pong. We used champaigne instead of beer and the lovely Jessica was my partner. She does this all the time, she should be the professional. She sunk one ball early and was pretty much useless for the team after that. After a couple of shots of champaigne to the head you start just aiming ping pong balls at the competitors naughty bits. I did get my ass slapped by Jessica and then snapped by a towel from Jessica. I don't remember who won or lost, I guess we all won. At the end of it the skys opened up and the down pour came. It was a diluge. within 60-90 seconds the pool was clearing out. I live in the Seattle area, I live rain. I was not going to let this little sprinkle ruin my day. literally less than 5 minutes later the rain was gone and it was beautiful again. The rain stayed long enough though for them to move the Tantra Sex Yoga class indoors. Koko and I can't remember his name taught the class. It's a workout folks. It's sexy and fun and damn I could barely keep Mr. happy down with the MRS. grinding all over me and licking my nipples, face and groin area. But after that 1 hour class, you are tired. You are spent. We even commented that we should have waited until after that class to do the massages.

Most of the rest of the day was kind of a blur. I'm really sorry that I can't tell much more. We wen to dinner at Aphrodite at about 7pm. Here's a bit of advice for you all out there, especially the picky eaters. While we were resting in the room before dinner, I went out and took pictures of the menus at each resturaunt. they are on TV Screens outside and speed past pretty quick. You've heard the old addage - "Take a picture it will last longer"? Exactly. So I took pictures. Pearl had French (I could have had that, the menu sounded amazing) and Aphrodite had "Traditional" Mexican. The MRS. was sure before I even went that she was going to want that. After I got back and she went through the pictures she proclaimed "None of it!" (she is by far the most picky eater I have ever met). She didn't like either menu. So we went to Aphrodite. Her plan was to order off menu. She ordered a couple of the early courses that were offered and lo-and-behold she enjoyed it. But for the main course she ordered just beef tacos with lettuce and cheese. "No problemo" says the waiter. They absolutely make sure you enjoy every aspect of your vacation here. You don't like what's on the menu? Order something else, they will make it for you. Now if she had ordered Lasagna maybe they would have said no then, but hey. I would like to know if someone else tries that and what happens.

While we were finishing dinner our friends S & J came in. This would be the last time we would see them. We got their card, and said our goodbyes. Took some pictures and off we went.

Advice: Cards - I don't know if they had these cards made for this trip or because they are both retired now, but their cards were of just them and their personal info. It wasn't a buisiness card or anything like that. The MRS. and I had already commented on the fact that the next time we come, we are going to have cards made that will read something to the affect of "If you received this card it's because your company was enjoyed by Lisa and Chuck". I think it would be neat and fun.

So after dinner we went back to the room to rest, take a little nap before getting dressed up for the theme (We brought these clothes - Angels and Devils). After about an hour she woke me up and asked if I was going to get dressed. I was simply too tired. I wanted to go, but the day had taken it out of me. So off to bed we went and up at 6:15am this morning it was.

Yesterday morning I took our camera out right after my work out and started snapping pictures of the grounds while it was early and no one was around. Unfortunately I only got about 10 minutes before people started to come out. So this morning I went out before the workout and took more, starting around the pool area first so I can get them all in. This morning I got to see S from S & J and we both took some pictures from the end of the pier. I'm just going to email them our pictures so they have a ton for themselves.

Today is the foam party. Today is a busy day. She's up now so it's off to breakfast we go and start our day. See you all out there.



I did get a little something - something in the room earlier that I haven't had in a looooooong time. This place is paradise. My wife never ceases to amaze me

[yoyo]

enjoying your live report

[FromSeattle]

Day 5: The WiFi was out for several hours today.

I am writing this day's trip report in a word document that I will have to copy paste here later. Right now it is 9:30am on our 6th day and the rain is pouring down. The wind is howling. The pool area is a ghost town. The storm started coming in yesterday and I will write about that in this report.

Getting into a routine: So like every other day here, I got up, did the gym thing, did the dip in the pool thing, did the shower thing and then we went to breakfast. After breakfast we set ourselves up at our loungers and I went to play beach volleyball. Today's game was just four of us and Vince and Charlie from the event staff. When you play beach volleyball with only 3 on one side as opposed to 6 on one side you get a way better workout. It was fun, my team won all 3 games of course.

Beach/pool games: After beach volleyball we washed off, I had to get my Mai Tai in to start the day and then laid down on the lounger for about 10 minutes until Jessica dragged me out for water polo. For those of you who actually played these sports at one point or another, it is very imperative that you understand the rules are not what you were taught. These are Desire rules. And you play by desire rules. For water polo gentleman, there is absolutely NO touching of the women. You get a penalty if/when you do (The water polo I grew up with involved grown out toe nails filed down to a sharp edge and monkey toes that can grip a Speedo and drag a guy down. For the ladies, GAME ON! I played a very good portion of the game with Koko hanging on my back. The entire time I was in goal she was attempting to pull my hands down so I couldn't block the ball. I much prefer this version of water polo. Trust me gents, the ladies will grab anything to distract you or get that competitive edge. After the foam party (I'll get to that one) I joined in the Pool Volleyball game. I think at one point we had as many as 16 people playing this one. That's a ton of people. Again, Desire rules. Unfortunately after jumping up to block the ball at the net I rolled my foot. It sucked but I played on. Later back in the room I looked down and apparently I scraped it something fierce, it was bleeding and I had a tennis ball sized knot on the side of my foot. That definitely sucked. But that is not going to stop me from the rest of my vacation. The weather on the other hand, it might.

Storm moving in: So as we were sitting in the pool drinking getting to meet new people the wind started to pick up. One of the great things about this place is the amazing sand on the beach. If you have ever walked on the beaches of So Cal or probably most other places, you know how hot the sand can get in the blazing sun. Here, the sand is so soft, so small, so light that it just does not heat up like the sand I'm used to. Well, the bad part about that is once this on shore wind picked up, your face was being sand blasted like a brick wall covered in graffiti. As most people ran and cowered from the horrific middle eastern sand storm, we 3 or 4 couples huddled next to/underneath the swim up bar for protection and carried on smartly with our drinking and revelry. This sand storm did close down the beach grill that I had yet to make it to. So that meant getting dressed and going to Aphrodite for lunch. What a horrible life this is. So off to lunch at Aphrodite we go with a new couple of friends we met from DC.

Foam party: So if commanded by the Gods, the skies cleared up perfectly in time for the foam party to start. There was very little wind the rain was nowhere in sight and the Foam Party began. I have to echo EVERYTHING you have read here before. It is not something you can willingly miss. It was a blast. It lasts for an hour and is a type of fun I have never had before in my life. I can see how easy it is for people to get separated from another and then accidentally bump into someone else or even grab for someone that you thought was your partner but actually wasn't. We didn't get separated often but when we did we were close enough to reconnect quickly. I just gave her a handle to hold on to the whole time we were out there and she obliged. I will say this, when you are completely engulfed by the foam, it gets pretty darn warm under there. If you allow it to stay on or near your eyes for too long it will get a little irritated and give you a slight "burning" feeling. I thought before we did this that there was going to be a whole lot more of random people grabbing and groping random people. This place is NOTHING like that. Even in the hot tub at night, there are cliques in the hot tub, and the "lifestylers" all hang out together. If you want to enjoy the lifestyle, then you have a place here. If you don't want to enjoy the lifestyle, but you want to hang out naked, talk to some really nice and interesting people and not get harassed about swapping, then you have a place here. The instances of over aggressive lifestylers is very few and far between. This really is a laid back place.

The rain is coming in: After the foam party and the pool volley injury we went back to the room to rest and relax when all of a sudden the skies opened up and a Seattle-esque rain storm blew in with no warning. I am going to take this time to point out my favorite employee of this place. It's hard to do, and everyone is so nice and outgoing and makes you feel at home here. But the MVP of this staff is without a doubt Jared. As soon as the wind picked up earlier Jared was out there dropping umbrellas and dropping them fast and efficiently. As soon as the rain opened up we watched Jared from our room sprint to the chairs to protect everyone's belongings. He is a master at his craft and takes all the pride one could in their job in his job. As a matter of fact, this morning when I went out to put a couple of things on our loungers Jared saw me leave my room and met me well before I could get to our loungers and took our stuff, set them on the loungers and told me not to worry about a thing, I had to tip him another $10 today. He is amazing. Sure enough after I got back to the room this morning the rain was back with a vengeance and the MRS. was worried about our stuff. I told her I wasn't going out there in that weather and I'm sure it would be fine. When the rain subsided enough for us to go to breakfast we walked past our loungers and noticed Jared had placed our bag under the lounger cushion and only left a Bubba mug and water shoes on our seats. I sure hope others take care of employees here like Jared as we have made sure we do. They are hard working with amazing attitudes and do it happily for your pleasure. They deserve our recognition for making our vacation that much more amazing. As I type this Jared just came from the other side of the pool to help a couple out that just got here today. The exchange just happened about 20 feet from my open slider and he immediately introduced himself and helped them to a lounger. That's how perceptive he is. Jared is my Desire Pearl MVP.

So we made it back to the Hot Tub before dinner just to hang out and get a couple of drinks. We met a very nice young couple from New York. He's reading this now and I can only picture him telling his beautiful new bride that I wrote about them in here. They are on Honeymoon, just got married a week ago and decided to go to the extreme immediately. Nowhere to go but down after here. We talked for about an hour than decided to go to dinner. The meal for the night at Aphrodite was Grill. The entire menu looked amazing and the food tasted even better. I am really happy with the food here. That was definitely one of our worries before coming due mostly to the extreme pickiness of the MRS. After dinner we left to go get ready for the night time activities which was Latin Fever - dress code: Beach Wear and Neon. The day before we left for our vacation we got a UPS delivery from Amazon that was what I was going to wear for this. It was hot pink. It was very tight (if you didn't know from the 4 days before this whether I was circumcised or not, this suit allowed that information to get out there. Think Speedo, but leaving a LOT less to the imagination). I also wore a shirt I had won from the beer pong game that was the month's theme and on the back like a jersey has the numbers 69 and above it Desire Pearl all in hot pink. Now when I won this shirt Koko sized me up, and decided that I was a medium. A medium. 4 months ago I was a 238 lb. sloppy mess and now a hot little Asian girl at this beautiful resort has decided I should be wearing medium sized shirts. That felt good, but what felt better was how the shirt fit. A little snug around the arms, chest, shoulders and back, but super loose around the waist. Every step of the way here this place makes me feel more and more amazing. I am not going to be able to leave. We also brought a little thing of light up light sticks that had earrings, necklaces, bracelets, etc. in it. So decked out in neon beach wear and rave light up light sticks we headed to the show. The shows here are quick and nice, but not anything amazing. The music at the disco is what you have heard. It is the EXACT same music every night. We're not clubbers and outside of this place not much into the partying scene so it didn't really bother us. But if you are a partier and a clubber I can see how this would get annoying and something that you would want to attempt to change. So the show is what it is, but the "show" after the show is what you come for. Unfortunately our new friends from New York left before the place really heated up and the MRS. got us some good seats to enjoy the show from. There was at one point 4 couples, obviously from the "lifestylers" camp dancing together as the ladies kept undressing themselves. They were very pretty and had the bodies to do the moves and the dancing that they were doing. It was a great show for all to watch. After a couple of dances we retreated to the Hot Tub. When we got there one bed was open and we parked ourselves there. For a little reprieve from the MRS. of the day before now out in "public" I got some more very good action and have vowed to come here as often as possible. After about a half hour - hour at the Hot Tub, we actually never made it in the Hot Tub, we went back to the room and called it a night.

I keep meaning to walk around with a pen and paper so I can take notes throughout the day of things I want to mention and comment about here but I don't do it. I know there are at least 3 things I am forgetting that I wanted to comment about here that I just can't for the life of me remember right now. Oh well, maybe later it will come back to me.

Until next time.

Chuck

[hattrick]

How has the weather been in general? We head down in a week and In looking at the 10 day forecast it calls for a high chance of rain for the first few days. Curious if these are most just pop up showers and pass quickly or not? Also, what to do on a rainy day?

[Bestfriends]

Great updates! Questions.... did you hit the spa? If so - how was it?

Weather - forecast shows rain while we are there (Sept 4-11). 80% chance... SO - did you get all day rain or hit and miss??

[FromSeattle]

Here's what I'll say about the weather. The MRS. wanted me to specifically talk about the weather and how it has affected us and our vacation. Obviously we would have preferred to have perfect weather the entire trip. But when the rain has come in it hasn't been for a very long period of time and then it is gone for quite a while. The longest we have seen it hit is for maybe an hour and a half or 2 hours. Typically it's 10-30 minutes and then it's beautiful again. Now we live up near Seattle, so I'm talking actual rain. We have had a couple of drizzles that I would have freaked out about when I was living in So Cal oh so long ago. I mean actual rain storms here. To be honest though, you make due.

We are very happy that the weather was perfect for the first several days of the vacation, but wish it had stayed that way the whole time. We even mentioned we kind of feel bad for the people that just showed up, especially in the last couple of days, and this is what their vacation is like. Don't be discouraged though, it is nicer than it is bad.

Bestfriends- If by spa you mean the massages and whatnot then yes, we did and we will be back today for a sensual massage. We already did the relaxing massage and it comes HIGHLY recommended. For people as busy as we are (both at home and here) the relaxing massage is EXACTLY what the doctor ordered. If you mean the Jacuzzi area. Or as the guys on my boat have nicknamed it - The Fuckuzzi, yes, we hit that too. People start meandering over there at around 4-5pm every day until they leave to get ready for dinner. We have partaken in the bed activities twice so far, there will be a third.

[Mrladysman]

Chuck we were there the same time Jen was there and I must say she was right about most things she said we went to many places and the beach there had so much seaweed and that turned us off so we stayed at pool the wasn't really great maybe because where use to good food it was just ok the staff was the best they are the ones that keep the place going strong they really are great people and the friends we met there and all the people were so friendly and very lay back so nice to meet them all my wife said she would not take off any bathing suit at all well that lasted for 30 min lol next thing she was swimming in pool naked the rest of vacation lol all we have to say is the vacation was very nice the food wasn't great the was nice but not the best but we went there to have fun and not stay in room any way what makes a good vacation is the people and we have to say we met great people and great staff we were newbie and didn't know what to expert don't give it a second though you'll feel at home as soon as you get there have a great time all relax take your clothing off and feel free you'll have a great time

[Bestfriends]

THanks - love to hear you take on the difference in the massages....

[yoyo]

day 6 fromSeattle ?

[tikihutguy]

Chuck we were there the same time Jen was there and I must say she was right about most things she said we went to many places and the beach there had so much seaweed and that turned us off

Never turned off by the seaweed. They do have it blow in and that's par for the gulf, but not the smelly stuff we gringos get and I've never seen harder working guys than the seaweed raking crew Felt badly I didn't think to tip them before departure Also thought the food was great. Variety and quality Everyone has an opinion. That's what makes the Desire adventure great

[tikihutguy]

Thanks for the super day by day Seattle! Keeps us going until the next trip

[FromSeattle]

Day 6: Sorry it's so late, I explain in here.

Puerto Morelos:
My morning routine took a slight detour. I actually slept in and took a day off from the gym. By the afternoon I had regretted that decision, but oh well. After breakfast we grabbed a taxi to Puerto Morelos. It's a very small quaint little village with one small block of shops, or at least that's all we saw, and some restaurants and a beach area. We bought some crap for the kids and had a little snack for lunch at a local little outdoor place then we came back home. We took some pictures there, but really there isn't much to see.

Rest of the day:
After we got back the MRS. took a nap and I went out by the pool in our loungers an watched my Angels complete the sweep of the A's on my iPhone (if you're a MLB fan I highly recommend getting MLB TV. Especially if you live away from your local team). Looking back at yesterday it was kind of a blur. Now thinking about it, I think I played a game of pool volleyball then watched the game. Hell, I can't remember now, I had a very delicious yet strong margarita in Puerto Morelos and then several Mai Tais in and by the pool, plus everyday is becoming the same day by now. Needless to say, yesterday was a very relaxing day. We stayed by the pool... I started typing this a couple of days ago. We are sitting at Cancun airport waiting to board our flight and this is literally the first time I have had a chance to sit down and type. So now it is going to be very difficult to remember what happened for the remainder of this day. So between my last part of " We stayed by the pool" and dinner I can't really remember. What I can remember was that we had room service deliver dinner to the room and we stayed in due to the strong rain. We did go to the show, but the rains kept us and from what we were told, everyone from the Fuckuzzi that night. We had a somewhat romantic dinner in the room with just the 2 of us and watched a documentary on the iPad. I really do wish I could remember more from Sunday, but Monday was so amazing that once I didn't capture Sunday, it was gone. On to Monday. Since I am just now sitting down to complete the "live" trip report, I am going to finish it all here and I will post it once we get Wi-Fi.

Day 7:

Again, same old-same old. Just back to the daily grind of waking at about 6am, getting to the gym by 7, back to the room by 8:30-9, then off to breakfast at Aphrodite. By now we have burned through all of our $2's. I brought what I thought to be a ton of "tipping" money and never really felt like I tipped enough. The room cleaning crew got $5 everyday, the wait staff at the restaurants never got less that $4 (2-$2 bills a meal), I dropped the majority of my $2 bills in the bar tip jars. Jorge at the pool swim-up bar makes the best Mai Tais at the joint. Every day I went to him as the bar was closing up to get him to make one last Mai Tai in my big ole Bubba mug. Damn I am going to miss those Mai Tais. So during breakfast I walked out to the restroom on the side of Aphrodite to take a leak. As I walked in there was one guy already in there at the urinal doing his business. Now I'm going to probably teach something to you ladies out there that you don't know about men. We have a set of unwritten rules about quite a bit of things. And as far as Men's Room Rules go, you never stand at a urinal directly next to another man when taking a leak. In this bathroom there are 3 urinals, which means 2 guys can pee at once. THAT'S IT! That is Men's Room Unwritten Rules. Ladies there are tons of them by the way. Now this place is somewhat different being in another country and C/O, but in the restroom, we are preventing collateral damage here, you don't want accidental splash back from someone else. So as I walk in to the restroom there he was, standing at the middle urinal. He check mated me! We always mess with our buddies, if you walk into a restroom with say 5 urinals, 3 dudes can piss at the same time, again that is it - Men's Room Rules! So if I were walking into a head (restroom), there is already someone peeing in urinal #1, and wanted to check mate my buddy coming in right after me (guys find this funny), I would take urinal #4. Now wherever my buddy decides to pee, he is standing directly next to someone already peeing. CHECK MATE! That's funny and acceptable with friends, not with strangers, even in this setting. So gentlemen, be respectful of Men's Room Rules and take one of the outside urinals in this head. But I digress. So after breakfast we sit at our loungers by the pool - a little confusion here. Jared thought we were leaving today, miscommunication on my part. So he gave my lounger to another couple. When I walked up to our loungers first thing in the morning I noticed a shirt hanging from the back of the lounger, it looked as if the storm from the previous night had blown it up on the back of the chair. I grabbed the shirt, put it on a rock and set our Bubba mugs on our loungers. Jared came over from the other side of the pool where he was helping another couple and was so apologetic, he thought we didn't need loungers and gave ours up. I tried mightily to reinsure him it was alright but he takes this shit serious. So he sets us up on a pair of loungers a couple of spots over, what I had forgotten and didn't think of that morning was that was the spot our new New York friends occupied. Sorry J & C (or is it K, I never asked how to spell your name? LOL)They still got loungers though folks, but they didn't get out to the pool until after 1pm that day, so all was good with all of us.

Poll games/activities:
Like I was saying, after breakfast we sat at our loungers and I went off to play another game of beach volleyball. After beach volleyball was water aerobics. I have to get this off of my chest. The event staff works their asses off. it took them 15-20 minutes of constant prodding, pleading, begging to get 6 people to participate. That is unacceptable. People, when you get there, participate in all of the pool side activities as possible, it makes the experience more fun for you and for everyone else, plus with the energy and excitement that the event staff brings, we owe it to them. Now off of my soap box and back to the report. Water aerobics was fun and it ends with a train of people (man, woman, man, woman, etc.) giving each other upper body massages.

Sensual massage:
After water aerobics we head over to the spa for our sensual massage. WORTH IT!!! So what I am going to do with this one is right as detailed, as exact of a report as possible on the sensual massage. I'm going to post it in the private playroom first. Cokeman, if you are cool with me copy and pasting to Pearl Trip reports and general discussions, then I will do that as well, although maybe with this little teaser you get more people to actually register for this forum. After you read it let me know please. Damn it was hot.

More pool activities:
After our amazing sensual massage we went back to the pool. Water casino was just finishing up and another game of pool volley ball then we hung out with our New York couple until we all moved to the Fuckuzzi

Fuckuzzi:
I think her name was Cynthia or Christine or something like that, I don't remember her name, but goddamn I love her. She had the idea to get 6 or 7 dudes and a thing of chocolate syrup. We all sat on the middle podium with our significant others in our between our thighs. They applied the sauce and commenced to cleaning it off with their tongues. Damn I love this place! A short while later and it was a coconut rum concoction and the men were more than happy to reciprocate. Except that drink was ICE cold. Now it is time to go get cleaned up and have our romance.
Dinner on the pier:
Yet another in a long line of highly recommended. So you set up the time you are supposed to be there and they tell you just show up, they will take care of everything. And boy did they. At 7pm we walked out to the pier with a nicely decorated table and a candle (fake but still works) are centered on the pier under the gazebo with a bottle of champagne and water, some very tasty bread and your server waiting for you. After you get settled in he walks all the way to the restaurant to get you your first course. You better carve out 2 hours of alone time for you and your significant other for this by the way. As he was getting the salads the MRS. wanted to turn on some mood music. On her iPhone she has the Amazon music app. My phone doesn't and sure enough we only brought my phone for taking pictures and not hers. No problem full bars of Wi-Fi all the way out to the gazebo, a couple of minutes later the app was downloaded and we are completing our romantic ambiance. We danced in between courses, we laughed, we kissed, we marveled in each other's presence. It was the romance she wanted from this vacation. It was perfect and highly recommended. By the way, when you do the "Lover's Package" everything is negotiable. We didn't get the lobster dinner, we both got steaks. had room 77 or 78 been open we would have got them instead, they are master suites with a plunge pool. after dinner we went back to the room to complete her night of spoiling.

The main event:
Tonight was Kings and Queens night but no "professional" dancers were showing up for tonight's entertainment. No ladies and gentlemen, tonight was the Chippendales competition. 6 brave men volunteered to dance for the ladies and show what they had in order to win the love of the crowd and especially the line of 4 beautiful women as the "guest" judges (Just 4 women from the crowd LOL). So of course I want to maximize my vacation and leave NO regrets so I was quick to volunteer. I read on the white board by the pool earlier in the day that the event staff puts out every day about the competition that night. I came prepared. So if you remember from my Day 5 report the little pink shorts I wore, well I wore those under my linen pants (which come off very easily and fast), I also wore a light shirt for easy removal and flip flops. So 6 dudes get up there to dance. I saw my competition immediately. A beefcake named Jimmy or Johnny, I can't remember now from Idaho I think volunteers. Now to say he is in shape is like saying Arnold Schwarzenegger has lifted a couple of weights a time or 2 in his life. This guys nickname around the place was Channing Tatum. There was even the rumor, I believe it by the way, that he was a dancer or is currently a dancer of some sort. So there it is, we are all up there just to make him look even better than he already does. He was #2, I was #4 and #5 "Hollywood" was obviously my other competition. When Channing went, I thought it was over. I had one move in my head and that was it. I had to make the most of the time I had and try to let my personality win out. That and high energy. So during my dance after losing the linen pants, then the shirt and sporting the amazing pink boy shorts, I do this move where I put my feet on my wife's shoulders as I am in the pushup position and commence to grind on her face with my naughty parts and do a "sexy" push up. I grind my junk in a couple of the other judges faces and then went over to a lady on the other side of the place that I saw attempted to place a bill in another guys pants only to have him lose his pants without briefs on and she had no place to put her bill, I gave her a place. 6 is weeded down to 3 and sure enough, Channing, Hollywood and I are left. Hollywood had this great move where he jumped up on the bar and danced on the bar itself, Channing basically did the same dance he did the time before except this time he went down to his briefs instead of just his pants. I had to step up my game. As J from New York explained, it was like the scene from the movie Old School. When Will Ferrell's character is in a debate with the Ragin' Cajun - James Carville where he loses consciousness and spouts off the greatest debate argument ever. I have no recollection of what I did. All I know is I was one foot on a seat and one foot on a table grinding my junk in a couple of ladies faces, then I was on 2 of the stools with Koko under me while I grinded my junk on her head, I grinded on 2 ladies at once, one in front one in back and I guess I did a little fireman's pole thing on the stripper pole and launched myself back on the dance floor. I drank a Monster right before we showed up, that and the shot of tequila and the 2 or 3 Mai Tais was what powered me on to the championship. I won and was completely surprised, and drenched in sweat. After that everyone came up to me to congratulate me, hell this morning a gentleman I had really only known from our mornings in the gym at the same time came up to me "Hey! The Winner! You were awesome man!" in some foreign accent. I love this place! In the disco, as we were leaving the disco, in the bathroom, at the Fuckuzzi, walking to and from the room, everywhere.

Retreat to the Fuckuzzi and sit with J & C (K?) for a couple of hours for people watching and conversation. It was depressing to say good night, but alas our time had come. We had to go pack and get to bed (it was 2 am at this point) to be up by 7 the next morning to catch our USA Transfers shuttle to the airport.

I was at the restaurant by 7, the MRS. skipped breakfast, G (He introduced himself as G since his name is ridiculously long) was our waiter pretty much the entire time we were there for breakfast. He made it a point to greet us as soon as we got there and we were always in his section. This morning, as soon as he saw me, "Omelet with chorizo and cheese?" "Yes please G". I ordered the same thing every morning and every morning he remembered. Damn I love this place.

Checkout:
Fast easy, no problems. As easy a checkout as I have ever had. Nothing really to say here which means it was good.

USA Transfers:
10 minutes late, but it didn't matter. It let me finish my Mai Tai and start my bottle of water. We took a different route to the airport which was nice, it was a different view and although a very small touch, one that was absolutely noticed. Great scenic route.

Airport and flight:
Again, very quick and easy through the check-in process and to the plane. Easy trip back to DFW and here I sit finishing this Trip Report at the USO at DFW. I hope you all enjoyed this trip report. I will write another after a couple of days back going back through my pre-trip report and remarking on the questions and apprehensions from then to now. I loved it, We will be back. I can't imagine a better vacation.

J & C (K?) always remember Betty White, George W, Stinky McFinger-in-Ass with the Amazon, and Brigitte Nielsen.

[TandD]

f**k. Not only did you win the strip-off but you have completely blown the Trip Report competition out of the water.

Can you tell me exactly what was in those Mai Tais? I'll be ordering the same in a few weeks.

Bravo!