Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

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Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby joydon » Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:13 pm

We booked our trip well in advance which afforded me (Dr.) ample time for research and trepidation. Spent too much on outfits for Mrs. most of which she never wore. Personally I refer au naturel to au coton any day.

Being newbies, the thought of traipsing around all the fully clothed staff fully naked was intimidating but we soon disrobed and paraded our wares in front of the staff and fully clothed, somewhat shocked beach pedestrians. All age appropriate of course. Coming out of the cool sea prompted an explanation, but no one seemed to be interested in my explanations of shrinkage. The beach was no St Petes Beach or Manhattan/Redondo Beach but was clean and the water presented no impediments contrary to other comments I've read. No need for water shoes.

The resort is very green and tropical with its lush foliage and the grounds are well maintained by its coterie of gardeners. Every area is fresh and clean.

Our "ocean front" room was in the Tortuga Building on what seemed to be the sixth floor overlooking the hot tub. No elevator but good for the legs. Excellent view of the ocean but who needs it with so much more to look at pool side.
The room itself was adequate but once the A/C was turned off the insidious tropical moulds reared their fuzzy heads and the bath area had a conspicuous aroma of eau de septic. It definitely curtailed my reading time on the john.
Not being one to complain mind you, only observe and report.
In future, I would request a ground floor room far away from the hot tub and lobby/disco.

The restaurants, Aphrodite for breakfast lunch and dinner was bright and clean with an abundant breakfast buffet or a la carte, same at lunch, and a la cart 5 course dinner menu.
Pearl was more formal in appearance and served only dinner. We perused the menus from both before settling on one for our evening meal.
We were offered a wine list ($$$) at each meal but preferred the free house wines that I pretended were Brunellos and all was well.
Best of all was the attentive staff who seemed to genuinely enjoy their job of taking good care of us and were rewarded for their efforts at every meal. Use your own discretion regarding tipping but whatever you give is greatly appreciated.

The evening shows in the disco were feeble in my opinion, feeble I say, but were preceded by a good band in the lobby. The pop/rock band was our favorite and with a clear dance floor we built up a nice glow and sore feet to boot.
Funny that no one seemed to dance to the band in the lobby but swarmed the floor in the disco once the "show" ended. Could have been a strange Mexican mating ritual we were unaware of. You know, rub asses on the dance floor and then head to the playroom?
The theme costumes were silly but then again we never filled up on our quota of booze.

It did give us a chance to visit the scarcely populated hot tub/jacuzzi on our last night at 11 pm. What started as a amorous tete a tete in our top floor ocean front room seemed to be a waste and one of us (me) suggested a walk to the hot tub.
At the tub there was a small group in the water and soon after we staked claim to the middle north side bed. Our amorous tete a tete continued there under the watchful eyes of the stars... and the bartender.
After about 45 minutes of this and that position we were joined by another couple... on the next bed who made sure to close their draperies on all sides. Little did they know the diaphanous fabric did little to shield their hanky panky. It seems that the most popular position is cowgirl from what my wandering lensless eyes could tell in the dark. I wanted to put my glasses on to survey the terrain but Mrs refused my request.
I must have been engaged in prolonged feasting on Mrs when I came up for air and noticed that the couple next to us had vanished. A quickie indeed. We may have scared them off with Mrs' moaning and groaning and her slightly off colour quipping.
By the time all was said and done we got back to the room at 1am. 1 am I say. 1:10 to be exact. Bully for me. Mrs told me to shut up about that more than once but I must say it was the highlight of the trip.

Regarding the lifestyle, I being a man, albeit an old one (68), am all for it. Mrs (52) is not and that is that. End of story.
Knowing that the resort fosters romantic hookups, Mrs was shy and reticent about making friends for fear of unintentional intent.
On our last day we met a very friendly attractive topless Kiwi (please forgive me if you are an Aussie) woman (with lovely non enhanced boobs) who pointed out a sleeping Iguana. I thanked her for that and had a humorous chat about pulling its tail and snorkelling.
In the restaurant at breakfast we were stopped by an absolutely ravishing woman inquiring as to my experience with the Seychelles, alerted by my Seychelles T-shirt. She was with a man who I assumed to be her husband and he was as fit and trim as she was, just not as ravishing.
In future we would be more open and natural with others since the people there seemed to be a cut above with above average intelligence and interests.
Our loss.

What do the guests at Pearl look like? Let me just say that you will see all shapes, sizes, ages, penis sizes all over the map, natural breasts, enhanced breasts (a lot of this variation, not to my preference, however... except that gorgeous woman with the 4H boobs... WOW) and butt sizes... It is all a variation on the theme, as I used to say. I was surprised by the variation in ages. There were toned couples in their 30's and flaccid couples in their 70's. It's all good.

One thing I should weigh in on is the tasteless formal sales presentation that chewed up 90 minutes of our vacation. It was a brain numbing barrage that left my head spinning. They pulled out all stops when Monica was called in to squeeze us more and seal the deal in her broken, inaudible English.
Luckily I had a pre planned excuse that we had a pre planned snorkeling trip in Puerto Morelos. Monica soundly chastised her co-conspirator for not knowing this. Got to go now thanks a lot it was a slice nice meeting you adios... oh and by the way please f**k off pardon my Spanish.
The best part of the session was watching their squirming physiognomy as it donned on them that there was not to be a sale that day. I am sorry but I just love it and I must admit that I enjoy the perverse thrill out of watching salesmen squirm.

After our 4 nights at Pearl we shipped out to the nearby Excellence Resort. What a disappointment! We felt lost in its expanse and impersonal atmosphere compared to Pearl. Gone were the friendly staff, gone was the cozy ambiance. Funny thing, one time while at Pearl I encountered the boy who cleaned the bathroom who asked me what my name was in Spanish. I told him my name and he told me his name: Ronaldo. How about that? At Excellence we felt like numbers. What is your room number please? Hurry up and eat and get the hell out of here... por favor.
Another funny thing... one night in line for dinner at Excellence we started talking with a woman about the Little Mexican Cooking School we attended in Puerto Morelos. Highly recommended. She asked my wife how we got there and Mrs told her by taxi. "Oh you're so lucky you took a cab because just down the beach we stumbled across a nudist colony where every one is naked and the beach beds are right there practically in the water. You practically have to step over them. And they play volley ball right there in the nude." I merely shrugged my shoulders and told her that under my clothes was the same thing as she saw at the nudist colony.

Will we be back to Pearl? Yes! Yes! Ohhhh Yes!!! OH GOD YESSSS!!!!
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby Beach girl » Sun Feb 22, 2015 4:20 pm

Great report. Love to read reports that make me smile. :D
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby Al & Kim » Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:16 pm

Great report. I understand you first visit caution. We are going the second time this Friday. With the first one we learned what expect and no fears this time. Just enjoy and go with the flow. :idea:
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby SunBeachFun » Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:23 pm

Nice, report!! We were "you" last year, newbies ... going back for visit #2 this July, doubling our stay to 4. Can't wait ...
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby joydon » Sun Feb 22, 2015 8:16 pm

Speaking of funny, while sitting on the steps outside the airport for some last minute rays, we were approached by a woman in some sort of uniform who asked me something in rapid fire Spanish.

She repeated in rapid fire splintered English. I then turned to Mrs for clarification. Mrs told me that the Mexican woman wanted to know if I needed a wheelchair. A wheelchair???

Now it's official. I am now officially an old man at the ripe old age of 68 and everyone knows it and it shows. I knew it had to happen sooner than later and now here I was. I'm surprised she didn't ask if she could fetch the Mrs an ice cream cone.

For the next several hours I kept glancing at my reflection in every passing mirror for vindication. Back home I promptly ordered a case of Dr. Perricone's Sub D for my wrinkled neck and a supply of Grecian Formula for my head. That combination should subtract ten years at least.

When we got home I called my younger brother and told him the story of the wheelchair. I never heard him laugh so hard. Mrs was close and I asked her for corroboration. She meekly replied that she had no idea what the Mexican woman said.
It was a fabrication. I was young again! Cancel the Sub D and the Grecian formula, at least put it on hold.

As an aside, while waiting at the airport, I noticed taxi drivers soliciting for fares. I approached one and asked him how much it was to Puerto Morelos: $70...one way.
We pre-booked through USA Transfers: $70 return! As well, we paid in Canadian dollars. Big difference for a mere 25 minute ride.
USA Transfers provided a fantastic, friendly, prompt service in a large, clean van and they were spot on with their timing.
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby miranda2 » Tue Feb 24, 2015 11:52 am

Wonderful trip report! Thanks so much for taking the time to post your experience. When are you going back to Pearl? We would love to meet you. :D :D
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby joydon » Tue Feb 24, 2015 1:27 pm

Hi Miranda, sounds like a date... we'll keep you posted.
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby Racecity12 » Fri Feb 27, 2015 9:44 am

joydon wrote:Will we be back to Pearl? Yes! Yes! Ohhhh Yes!!! OH GOD YESSSS!!!!


We did a similar trip, 4 days at Pearl and 4 at Excellence. Like you, our first day at the Excellence pool some Canadians were talking about the nudist colony down the beach. The funny thing was I was wearing a Desire Pearl hat that day and nobody knew what it was.

We agree that Pearl was a much better managed property regardless of clothing requirements.
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby joydon » Wed Mar 04, 2015 6:33 pm

Did you let on at all what your experience was with Pearl?
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Re: Trip Report Feb 8-12, 2015

Postby Racecity12 » Thu Mar 05, 2015 7:23 am

joydon wrote:Did you let on at all what your experience was with Pearl?


We didn't think they were open minded enough to tell them. Most of the world is not progressive enough in our opinion, so it will remain secretive. Heck, if everybody wanted to go there we'd never get a reservation....! As it is I am concerned it will be a members only property some day.
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