First Timer/Newbie Report April '23…better late than never!

[Tuaennoccpl]

Like many other newbies, we benefitted so very much by reading through the trip reports of other folks on this forum, so we wanted to circle back and make sure that we add ours. But, life is busy and that took a little too long…..lol.

About us, mid-40’s, couple next door married couple with 3 kids from the Great Lakes area of the US. At the time of the trip, we were not in the lifestyle, but we also were not exactly vanilla, either. We had experimented and on and off over the years with adding a third, but would also go years without even thinking about things like that. Well, with life being short and the days flying by coupled with a recent epiphany that the mrs may enjoy experimenting with a female, we decided to say screw it and book a trip, Being aware of Hedo for years (we had cruised past it on our honeymoon a decade ago), we knew that some places existed then came across Desire. We booked it and traveled in mid-April 2023.

Arrival: No real issues here. We had You Tubed the hell out of arrival and intended to try the E-gates but got ushered into the normal gates in a crowd. No issues with immigration. We had carried on so did not have to claim bags. Walked right through customs and not a soul spoke with us. Then it was to stare straight ahead and keep walking through the gauntlet of salespeople and promoters until we got outside. Even then, keep going as USA Transfers will be in the very back of everyone. I like this as you don’t have to stop/slow down and have to say no thanks to the many others that will try to redirect you. They had our names and within 5 minutes we were in the Suburban and on our way. It took about 30 minutes to get to the hotel and first impression was amazing! We had read about the aroma in the lobby but, MAN, when it hits your sense for the very first time, it is amazing and memorable! Check in was fine and efficient. We did not get hounded too heavily about sitting through the Premier presentation. A couple no thank you’s and they let it rest. Our room was not ready so they showed us to Aphrodite for lunch along with all of our stuff. Talk about sticking out! lol. That was like baptism by fire, though, as we were right into the middle of all these naked folks and fully clothed in travel cloths and had never been anywhere like this! Pro tip……have some flip flops/swim trunks/bathing suits/cover up easily accessible in your back back or wherever. This is true especially if you are coming in from colder climates and dressed like you are going on expedition.

I won’t spend much time on food as we are not foodies and if your reason for choosing Desire is the food, well, we are different folks. lol. Basically what everyone else has said…….if you go hungry then it is your own damn fault. Aphrodite breakfast and lunch is your fresh, above-average all inclusive menu with something for everyone. During the evenings, it is table service with rotating themes which are on the master schedule you are given at check in. Suki is a very nice setting with Asian every night and above-average service. Pearl is the hardest to get into (make reservations when you get there if you want to eat here) and also rotates between several choices. Room service is available 24/7 and, although scarce, you can always get at least a BLT or something. Another pro-tip…..late nights they make awesome tacos outside of Pearl on the deck. I think it starts at like midnight and they hit the spot after some late night time in the hot tub.

Once we were done eating, we went back out and walked past the pool and the game of distracted darts was right in the thick of it! Wow! We were not in Kansas anymore!! Our room was ready so we headed there and got situated, unpacked, and prepared for the pool for real this time. He wore swim trunks and carried his T-shirt with him (it was HOT) and she wore bottoms and a cover up. We went out to the pool where the guys had gotten us a bed on the quiet side and relaxed. This was a great way to just unwind, but not jump right into it being first timers. We laid naked in the sun and relaxed and looked around and talked about how crazy it was to actually be there. After a while, we decided we were ready to make our way to the swim up bar and get some drinks. Now, at Pearl, if you want steps to get into the pool from the quiet end, you either have to walk all the way around to the other end, or get in and then traverse “The Wall”… a wall up to just above the water level. During this trip, the quiet side of the pool was about 15 degrees cooler than the other end and very refreshing. Now, as much as being naked or mostly naked is the great equalizer, this getting over this wall naked takes it up a notch. There is no way to do it gracefully. Period. Just try to not die or rip your junk off or splash anyone too much. Lol.

Don’t forget to pack your Yetis/insulated mugs! Note: they make a great case for sunglasses to protect them on your carry on. Another note, handing the bartenders at Desire your mug, you will get a double and, as you drink, the ice melts less. If you use their plastic cups, you get a single and the ice melts and you get water/stay better hydrated without trying. lol. We tend to mix back and forth.

At this point, let’s discuss the yellow bands for first timers. While it is pretty common that people think this marks fresh meat or fresh fish (it is partly true), it also allows others the opportunity to say hey and welcome you. We met a number of nice folks the first day just because of the yellow bands. These folks were obviously way more experienced and great to talk to and get the lay of the land. We are not in the lifestyle, but also were not really vanilla. Our answer when people asked was that we were not in the lifestyle and just wanted to hang in an erotic atmosphere. Well, this may have led to us spending a LOT of time with veterans hanging with us/maybe trying to protect us, but that was our fault. We should have said we did not know or where there to find out or something like that. So there is a tip, be careful what you answer as it may kinda paint you for the next day or two if others talk (…and they do. It is a small resort.) Along those lines, be careful what other people say especially if they are also new. They may also being trying to figure things out. Just be nice. Get to know people and have fun. But also respect boundaries absolutely.

Now, let’s talk bodies and judgment…….STOP WORRYING RIGHT NOW!!! You will see all ages. All shapes. All sizes. Scars. Birthmarks. Stretch marks. More scars. Sagging skin. Tight bodies. Awesome boobs. Fake boobs. Sagging boobs. Big willies. Little willies. Innie willies. Jewelry. Piercings. Chains. Tattoos. Did I mention scars? Guess what?!?!?! Nobody CARES! Everyone is there to shed clothes, shed reality, shed judgement. You wanna wear bottoms? Then keep them on. You wanna get a tan where you never have before? Wear your sunscreen.

So you hang in the pool for the afternoon and then about 4:30-5:00 it turns into a ghost town as the pool bar shuts down. Some people head back to their rooms to chill/nap/relax. Some others head to the hot tub area for the afternoon hut tub session. The hot tub is huge and there are little cubbies to store your stuff in if you need to as well as a glorious swim up bar. At this point, it is worth pointing out that the same bar tenders rotate through the various bars throughout the day (within their 8 hour shifts) so you are not losing your mind….you may see the same awesome person at 2-3 different bars in the same day.

After a couple hours of afternoon hot tub time, we would head back to the room/nap/shower/play around/etc. Then off to dinner at the place of your choice. (Men, at Pearl, you need long pants and closed-toe shoes). See descriptions above. Then back to the room for a quick change and to take in the entertainment in the lobby area that starts at about 9-9:30 and changes each night. Always a great way to spend an hour of so not only dancing and taking in the entertainment but also watching folks come in in their various theme night outfits. This is something to pick at least a couple nights while you are there, plan ahead, and participate. Sure, you may only wear the stuff for a couple hours, but it is a good time. At about 10:20, you will notice people start to crowd by the end of the lobby bar and the doors to the disco to get descent seats. If you want to be able to see, best to follow suit and get in line as it is a very small place and you can be really close to the show. The entertainment, while only lasting 15-20 minutes at most, was amazing….on different nights, different groups of dancers and artists….all of them very sensual.

The play room at Pearl is right off of the disco and, I guess, a bit smaller. We were surprised not having any prior tendencies to be exhibitionists how fun it was to play in there a bit one night. There was nobody else in there but to be fooling around and anyone could walk in at any moment certainly added to the experience a bit for sure.

After the disco, we would tend to head to the hot tub again for the night session which was normally much more packed than earlier in the afternoon. Annoyingly, people would reserve/place stuff on the beds around the hot tub and then maybe, MAYBE use them 2-3 hours later. Maybe. This is one area Pearl could improve by policing that a little bit.

The hot tub this time of night was amazing as first-timers. We were very surprised by how very erotic we found it being able to watch people engage right near us! It was amazing. And you can meet as many or as few people as you want to during this time. We met up with some folks we had had various interactions with during the first or second day, stood and talked and drank and relaxed and really got to know some pretty awesome folks. You can stand around and have a plenty vanilla conversation if that is what you are looking for or you can take your partner and f**k on a bed in front of everyone (don’t scoff, newbies, this snuck up on us how VERY erotic we found it and never in our lives figured it would. Talk about liberating!!) We spent most nights here drinking and talking and hanging out until maybe 2 in the morning or so, then headed back to the room.

As for the crowds, again, it is mixed. You will see it all basically. At mid-40’s, we were probably on the younger end of the spectrum a bit, but we also were not looking to hang out with 20-something’s. The caliber of people we met was what was the most amazing. Everyone is naked or barely clothed and that totally is an equalizer. Beyond that, everyone we met was genuinely cool and nice and supportive and just good people.

On our last full day at the pool, the fella came and found us and confirmed our check out and pick up time. (Booooo!). Our last night we ended up meeting/getting closer with another couple and that was amazing, but that is not what a trip report is about, right? lol. We got up the next morning, finished packing, ate breakfast at Aphrodite, then went back to our room and drug our suitcases and selves to the lobby and closer to reality. The check out process is not nearly as fun as checking in, but goes pretty quick and then we fit in one more drink from the lobby bar before USA Transfers showed to take us back.

Uneventful trip back to the airport as construction was mostly over. Check in and getting through security was easy enough.

Staff…….in a word AMAZING!!! These folks really, truly are genuine and nice and take pride in what they do. They want you to have the best time ever and it shows at almost every turn. The staff makes the place hands down!

Other random thoughts……….
If you have “found” Desire and are at the point where you are reading these forums and especially this wordy trip report, then just book the damn trip!!!!! I cannot say that enough. You WILL NOT regret it! We were new and afraid and blah blah….again, if you are reading these words, book the trip. NOW!

The beach….sea grass sucks. Don’t come here for the beach. Period. Come for the million other reasons that Pearl is awesome.

The staff….not enough good words to say about them! Bring some cash to tip and tip well. The turnover at Pearl is extremely low and it shows. These folks are rock stars.

Pack less than you think you need. Seriously, other than maybe dressing up for dinner and theme nights a bit, you really do not need much at all.

The mix of people this trip appeared to be maybe half lifestyle and half not. But the biggest thing you need to know is that NOBODY CARES!!! Want to talk to everyone there and try to swap with a different couple every night? Go for it, folks and best of luck to you! Want to just hang as a couple and have a sexy time and stay fairly conservative? Hell yeah, they support that too!! You be and do you. Nobody is going to worry about it. We met such amazing and genuine and wonderful people our first trip. We are sure you will, too.

So, full disclosure, this report was written AFTER we returned to Pearl for the second time in just a couple months because we were so hooked. So, can I say again, stop worrying, you look fine, nobody cares about whatever it is that you are stressing about. Come “home” and have the time of your lives. Life is too damn short not to!!

[kysaint270]

As an upcoming Newbie (Jan 24) I found this very helpful so THANK YOU for sharing and especially making me less self conscious. One question—besides Pearls dress code which you described what do you recommend to bring to wear at the other restaurants for dinner? Are pants and a collared shirt standard or something else?. Thanks again

[Tuaennoccpl]

Collars are not necessary at all for the men…..shorts and a shirt and flip flops at the other two are fine. That being said, I bought some linen pants and decent linen shirts for our trips. I mean, the ladies are dressed to the 9’s and looking amazing……I try just not to look like a total dud. Lol. Glad that it can help. Seriously, nobody cares about so many things that we worry about before. In our limited experience (and echoed by many others) the type of folks that attend Desire are some of the best and most genuine and nicest people you will want to know.

Book the trip and have fun!

[tj71903]

As an upcoming Newbie (Jan 24) I found this very helpful so THANK YOU for sharing and especially making me less self conscious. One question—besides Pearls dress code which you described what do you recommend to bring to wear at the other restaurants for dinner? Are pants and a collared shirt standard or something else?. Thanks again

She wears cocktail dresses and good shoes to dinner wherever it is (Pearl, Mansion, Suki). I dress as I would for any other type of dinner (collared shirt or button-down).

[Tuaennoccpl]

And the term “cocktail dress” at Pearl can be as traditional or as risque’ as the woman desires (pun fully intended). If you can imagine it, it has most likely been worn to any of the restaurants by the women. Let’s face it, not many people care what the guys are wearing as long as we are presentable! LMAO

[TandD]

shorts and a shirt and flip flops at the other two are fine

I agree that the focus is much less on the guys and that virtually anything will do, but I think YOU (not you specifically but "one") might feel out of place a bit if you are in shorts and flip flops when the majority of guys are just a tad more formal. Again, not a problem if you aren't but have you ever shown up for something and felt underdressed? Kinda feels awkward and you tend to think "Dang, I wish I'd known". Well now you know.

[Orcowgirl]

He is always well dressed and trendy for dinner, it's a date night. We have never seen guys in flip flops and shorts for dinner...did we miss something? You will feel out of place I think, if you don't dress for a date night....I guess we assumed all of this time, that there was a dress code for dinner.

[desireadventures]

I mean c’mon guys…the women always get dressed up and look amazing…please don’t wear shorts and flip flops to dinner. It’s not that difficult to put on a pair of dress pants, some decent shoes and a button up shirt.

[Tuaennoccpl]

well, based on the comments from these three professionals, there is an informal dress code at the other two or you will be being judged by those better than you. I guess it is not your vacation to dress how you feel is appropriate, attractive, and comfortable as you and your mate see fit. Guess you better have a tux on to keep with their standards of these amazing individuals. Apparently I was blinded by all the gorgeous, well-dressed women in our two trips there the past several months and hallucinated seeing all the guys in t-shirts/polo’s, shorts, and either tennis shoes or flip flops. I would place this at a good, solid 40% of the males during our recent trips…….but, again, these folks don’t think that is acceptable. Scratch what I said about it being a judgement-free place…….apparently it is alive and well at Desire as well as anywhere else. LMFAO. What a joke.

[desireadventures]

Pearl restaurant specifically has a slacks requirement for men. I’ve personally seen people turned away for wearing shorts and even blue jeans.

[Tuaennoccpl]

Pearl restaurant specifically has a slacks requirement for men. I’ve personally seen people turned away for wearing shorts and even blue jeans.

AT THE OTHER TWO…….words are fun…..especially when you actually read them. Lol. Have a great day!

[tj71903]

He is always well dressed and trendy for dinner, it's a date night. We have never seen guys in flip flops and shorts for dinner...did we miss something? You will feel out of place I think, if you don't dress for a date night....I guess we assumed all of this time, that there was a dress code for dinner.

Agree with this take.

[Orcowgirl]

Tuaennoccpl, we aren't professionals, nor do we wear tuxs or judge. We don't care what you wear or don't wear. Simply gave information not judgment. At ALL Restaurants, in the evening, for dinner, we have never seen anyone at Pearl wear flops or shorts or goodness sake, "tennis" shoes to dinner. I thought that there was a dress code because of this. Just giving information to newbies so they don't feel out of place or are turned away from a Resturant (we have seen that). If you think friendly information is stuffy and judgmental, that isn't our problem.

[Tuaennoccpl]

Tuaennoccpl, we aren't professionals, nor do we wear tuxs or judge. We don't care what you wear or don't wear. Simply gave information not judgment. At ALL Restaurants, in the evening, for dinner, we have never seen anyone at Pearl wear flops or shorts or goodness sake, "tennis" shoes to dinner. I thought that there was a dress code because of this. Just giving information to newbies so they don't feel out of place or are turned away from a Resturant (we have seen that). If you think friendly information is stuffy and judgmental, that isn't our problem.