Newbie Trip Report May 11-17, 2024

[Wes&amber]

About us:
We are both in our mid 40s, professionals from Canada, new to the lifestyle, in fact this was our first real foray into the realm. We have no kids, travel a lot and are members at a chain of vanilla resorts in Mexico (exotic Travelers).

We have done clothing optional (Hidden Beach) and really enjoyed that part of things, but the guests trend very old at HBR. We decided to start with Pearl because we had read it was more chill than RM, and for our first visit we thought that was a good first step.

We got a very good deal that included transfers and 25 min massage. We booked for 6 nights.

Transfers: took over 1:45 to get our bags, which sucked but USA transfer were waiting and very good. We have used Lomas and Canada transfers and I would say USA is on par with them. I will say that we are used to going down the highway and turning into the resort. Heads up if that’s what you are used to, there is about 10 min of back roads. All good, but it stressed my wife in the dark.

Check in and rooms: the day before we left I got a call about upgrading to a master suite with a plunge pool. We decided to take it and make the most of our first trip. The check in was easy (we arrived late) and the room was really good. We had a seating area, 2 bathrooms with shower, plunge pool and at the quiet end of the resort (room 77). It was right on the beach, only issue was seaweed was a lot and it stunk. Not their fault, but be prepared for the smell. I am overly sensitive to smell, it did not bother my wife as much.

Food: so we have high standards for food. Our vanilla resorts are gourmet all inclusive. Having said that we thought the food was great! I really liked the lunches outside, bbq, burgers, something different every day. Pizza was good and we ate at pearl and suki several times. We did not do the buffet for dinner and we missed breakfast most days. I rate the food very high for and all inclusive.

Playmakers/entertainment. We found the evening entertainment in the night club very good. Better than any other resort (vanilla or otherwise), about 20-30 min, so not too long. As for the playmakers we had a split take. My wife enjoyed them, I found them mostly annoying. They tried too hard, when you said not I don’t want to play volleyball I would get snarky replies like oh you don’t like fun. The best part of the playmakers was when they did stuff that focused on the guests, but too often I felt like they made it about playmakers, not the guests. If no one wants to play water polo after you ask 50 times, move on. I found them too forced, my wife liked them. So different opinions but wasn’t a big deal either way.

Spa: we did 2 spa things, one our 25 min massage and an erotic massage. The 25 min was actually great, very well done. The erotic massage was fine, I was expecting more, I would never pay the full price, but it cost us 90$ plus 1.5 hours of our time at the presentation. There was touching and then they pushed the beds together. Meh.

Nightclub/play room: night club was good, never saw the playroom used (see below re vibe).

Membership push: we got in late so no one even asked us about the presentation. They found us the next day, I did not find it high pressure. The presentation was fine, none of the numbers made any sense to me, so we passed. It was not high pressure for us, but I negotiate for a living, so I was comfortable. The biggest turn off was when I mentioned that many members seemed unhappy with the program and the guy doing the presentation said some very negative things about existing members. Not a good way to close a deal.

Mansion: we met some people that were staying in the mansion that gave us a tour. It’s very nice! Not sure I could justify the prices…but super nice. The playroom was very cool and the rooms were awesome!

Lifestyle/vibe: in a word…tame. Even the other guests commented on how tame it was. We saw very little play around the hot tub. We didn’t let that stop us from having fun, but would have been cool if there was more going on. Having said that we had some great fun, did a bunch of stuff we had never done before and met some amazing people. As it was our first visit we were good with the vibe, and the day we left it really felt like things were picking up. As newbies to the life style we found it a bit hard connect on that level as we were a bit cautious and were hoping other would take the lead. I will say if you are not in the life style and are nervous about going, don’t be. There is no pressure and we met lots of people who were not into the lifestyle that we still hung out with.

People: so the thing I read over and over were that the people here are awesome. I read that so much, but didn’t get it. After spending 6 days there I now do. It’s hard to explain, but there is something about the environment and the type of people that go to desire that is just awesome. People that we would never normally connect with, became friends. And apologies to my American cousins, but we are sick of going on vacation and listening to you all talk politics.
. None of that here, everyone had fun, and I never heard the word Trump or Biden. We met people in the life style and not in the lifestyle and made friends with both. It was the best part of the entire trip, meeting awesome people, letting the walls down and having fun. I get it now

Conclusion/advice: so happy we went. Reading these forums was so helpful! I don’t normally do reviews like this but I felt obligated to share our experience on the off chance it helps someone feel better about going.

The one thing we read over and over was how important communication with your partner was. My wife and I talked so much before we left that it made for a better trip because we had no conflict, we were totally aligned. So for any first timer, talk…a lot. You will have a better time. We did meet a few people who were clearly not on the same page and that was a bit awkward at times.

I would also suggest that you don’t set hard fast rules on your first conversation. From our first conversation to our last we changed…a lot! And that’s ok, it made for a much better trip! Talk but be open to change. I am very lucky, my wife was able to be open and honest, and I think societal norms make it harder for women to admit what they want to do and we noticed that a bit. Not saying do something you’re not comfortable with, but be honest with yourself and your partner, you only live once. Again I think I am a very lucky man, my wife and I were able to be completely honest with each other before we left and our marriage is actually stronger for it!

As newbies to the lifestyle we were a bit surprised how hard we had to work. We expected more people to ask us if we were in The lifestyle but we found we had to push the conversations about what others were interested in. That took some getting used to. We did by the end wish there was more play, but in talking to others that had been many times, I think we just caught a slow week. But it’s what you make it. We had tons of fun in the beds, my wife was able to experience another women and our highlight was a full swap at the hot tub beds…something we will not forget anytime soon!!

We now plan to try Desire RM and we think we will go next January. If anyone reading this was at Pearl the same time as us, thank you! You were all so wonderful and made us feel so comfortable it was an amazing launch into the lifestyle and we don't plan to ever look back! We even booked on the Caribbean cruise for 2026, so if your on that drop is note. To the couples we played with, thank you for being so wonderful in introducing us to the lifestyle and thank you to all the people we had great conversations with, we learned so much.

Hopefully this is helpful to someone, I can’t overstate how much I enjoyed and appreciated all the reviews and advice, it was all so helpful. We are both so excited to start this next chapter of our life and I don’t think we could have had a better start! Happy to answer any questions here or open to DMs.