Review--April 7 to 14, 2013

[adrian]

A review is meaningless unless you know the view point and experience of the reviewer. We are in our 60s and have been travelling widely for 25 years. We have eaten in the very best restaurants in the world's top cities. We have been on various cruises and train trips, with our favourite being the Cunard Queen Mary Queens Grill where you can dine for 14 days and never get the tiniest bit jaded. We like luxury. We like eating. We like wine. We have enough ways to carry carbs and fat from the plate to the mouth without wasting our allotted calorific intake on mystery meat in burgers, pizza or sausages. So don’t expect us to know whether the burgers at DP were good.

We also like to be naked on a beach. So we have been searching for the perfect resort to match our tastes for all of those years. We hit on Grand Lido Negril early on and we have been many times from its early days when there were sports stars, actors, the Jamaican Prime Minister, all types of rich people (not us we spend too much on travel) and even Lionel Ritchie (who explained to Ike the piano man that he was playing the chords all wrong to one of Lionel’s songs). But it sadly declined till we stopped going a couple of years ago because we were taking too many things to supplement what they had stopped supplying. So we have tried Hedo 2, Hedo 3, Braco, Sans Souci, Couples Negril, Sandals Royal Caribbean, Club Caribbean, all in Jamaica, Galley Bay and Hawksbill in Antigua, Dominican, St Lucia, Cuba. None are up to standard in quality and none have the situation of room on the naked beach. So we had begun to seek out resorts where we could have a private plunge pool, but then it is hard there to find the night time entertainment and connection to like-minded people that you can get at a nude resort. We like to sit around all day watching the world go by but dance till dawn (ok these days we can only manage till around midnight).

We were aware of Desire RM, Temptations, Hidden Beach all in Mexico; but concluded, admittedly without going, that they would be too much on the Hedo scale of luxury, that is mystery meat, ketchup and mystery, typically toxic, wine

But then we found Desire Pearl. We saw it open last year. This looked like it could be the place. Priced at a level where the hotel has enough money to give you good product, drinkable wine and to supply all the little luxuries that GLN had lost (like ice cream and towels). We are well aware that in the vacation business you get what you pay for. We concluded that we have to try this.

So was it worth it. Just to give you the conclusion first, we have already booked to go back twice (even giving them deposits, before we left, for the room we wanted). Not that it was perfect, because nowhere can be perfect as it has to cater both to you and me and we may be very different. But it was very good and absolutely they are trying to give people what they want.

Room right on the beach. The front wall of our patio was the beach wall. The beach is lovely; sand like talcum, lots of good quality chairs and umbrellas. Better room situation than any of the other places we have visited. (I cannot give you the room number or details as you might be in it when I want to go). The passing people were not a problem. No vendors, no locals with kids, just a few adult tourists who were all very circumspect in case they were thought of as gawkers. I saw no shock and horror, even when passing my aging body.

The Pearl restaurant was very good. 5 courses all good quality and size. No 16 ounce T-bones. No mystery meat. There are two menus which alternate every two days. In 7 days we found lots of variety and only went back to take again the items we had enjoyed. Lovely décor with chandeliers and interesting legs sculptures on the walls; a bit like the show Crazy Horse in Vegas if you have ever been. All sparkle and lights. Good service which you can slow down to European pace if you say so. We ate breakfast and lunch in the beach restaurant so did not go back there for dinner. Lunch is good enough with a daily menu and buffet.

The house wine is totally drinkable. The usual 4 Chilean selections were all good enough that after the first night we stopped looking at the wine menu, which was not so good, too expensive and not good variety at least not to our taste. So we stuck with the house wine and switched from type to types as the food suggested.

The entertainment is fun, safe, varied and talented; some kind of short show by outside, very pretty entertainers every night and either a house band or disco. So, for the first time in many resort visits, we danced every night –ok only for a couple of hours, but enough. On only two nights were the customers the entertainment; the obligatory sexiest lady and best Chippendale night, where some guy always has to get his tackle out and drape it on the ladies designated as judges. Frankly I preferred the Latin dancers but then that’s me. And my wife liked the male dancers on Sunday night with a dance show which made Freddy Mercury look butch.

The costume nights are fun. Not everybody participates but enough to make it work. We just love to dress up. Now we prefer to wear clothes which are classy and well-shaped to make us look our best. But we did try to match the colors designated for the night. Frankly my old thongs don’t look so good these days, but maybe next time I will go for it again. The costumes worn by some give everybody the opportunity to go for whatever they want. The girls are all absolutely fabulous, but lots of the men need to dress up more. They seem to challenge one another for the champion of who can dress for least money; the jeans and runners from Walmart, the golf shirt which came for free from that tournament in 1997. What is wrong with a little attempt at style.

The lunch restaurant requires a cover-up and some seem to want to test this. Nobody was naked but a few girls were topless and I suppose it’s ok to dip your nipples in the soup if you really want to.

The level of luxury is good enough. Good chairs, towels, room décor, cleanliness, up-keep, staff. Not Cunard Queen Mary but what is.

We had a very good room; a master suite with a sitting room and bedroom both with patio doors to the beach; and two whole bathrooms, which works very well for us. We did have some issues with the air-conditioning which was causing some allergy problems over night. So we tried turning it off, which created a scary sea of water all over the floor. But we persevered when we found there were two separate systems for the two rooms and eventually, after walking-up and down for a few days with towels on our feet, it all dried out in the bedroom and the sitting room was cool for dressing. This is what you have to do when travelling—make it work for you.

It is a small boutique hotel with interesting Mexican architecture and shapes and fittings, but there is no WOW factor at the lobby or at the pool or the rooms. Even the expensive penthouse is a little blah.

The age group in general at the hotel appears to be very wide ranging with some in their 20s and some in their 70s. There is no doubt that the higher price point does push up the age a little but not so much as you might expect. And some of the 70 year old ladies looked better in their lifestyle skirts than the 20 year olds. In general it seems to me that everybody gets on and is very tolerant with no sign of any distaste no matter the age difference. As in all naked beaches in my experience, everybody just goes for it and nobody cares.

I am wondering whether I can recommend this hotel to our friends from GLN, where overt sexual activity was very rare, and some of whom would be very concerned to be associated with this aspect. One significant difference between GLN and DP is that at the former, despite the naked beach, you would be proud to announce where you were staying. At DP I am very wary to tell people where I am going. On balance I think that my nudist friends would be happy here provided they retain the tolerance that I think they have. If you want to avoid any overt sexual activities at the hotel then you can certainly do so.

The breakfasts were poor. I cannot imagine how you can process bacon so that it is completely taste free. The potatoes were those triangular yellow objects widely used in fast food outlets. They need to do more actual cooking for breakfast and less thawing.

The drinks are main brand early in the evening but change to some form of alcoholic syrup when they think you are too blasted to notice. This is not nice and, at the price they charge, not suitable and should be stopped. But you can control the situation for a few dollars by getting and keeping your own bottle with the barman. I am still supplementing the hotel's deficiencies but that is tolerable if I can get what I want.

[mspete]

Great review, thank you! Hubby and I have organized/purchased what we are wearing for theme nights. No jeans, old golf shirts, or t-shirts for him (well, maybe a couple of shirts qualify as t-shirts but they are coordinated with the theme). For dinner he'll probably be wearing Tommy Bahama slacks and shirt. Whether or not he changes from that will hinge on the theme for the night. He will change for Sailor/Army night (we are there over Memorial Day Weekend so the themes are modified a couple nights) into camo boxers and an army green tank top/t-shirt with a camo thong underneath, lol. On Neon Night he plans to wear Tommy B slacks with a black tank top with a neon design on the front (had a hard time finding neon for a guy so if anyone has suggestions we are listening!). He'll wear white Tommy B slacks and white Tommy B. shirt for Sexy Angels Army Night (just treating it like Heavenly Night). Black Tommy B. slacks and a tight v-neck ribbed red t-shirt for Sinners Night (that's the Red and Black night, right?). XS Night he'll were Tommy B. slacks and shirt of some sort. We've also purchased theme appropriate sexy outfits for me on each night. We decided that we'd go ahead and get out of our comfort zone, lol.

[miranda]

Wonderful review and we would love to vacation with you!

[SLINON]

Great review! Glad to hear about the house wine. We are wine ppl, not wine snobs but i like a good glass (or two or more) of a nice wine. Desire Los Cabos wine was not drinkable at all. We will have to request the top shelf and watch for the switch! I don't like that either, not at this level of a resort.

Adrian: without giving up the room number you stayed in, can you recommend a ground floor room that is as close to the beach as possible in an oceanfront room? We won't be able to splurge for a master suite because we are hoping to book for November/13 and again in April/14. I've looked at all the photos and looked a google earth trying to figure out which building to request...

Thx!

[CokeMann]

I've looked at all the photos and looked a google earth trying to figure out which building to request...

Have you looked at the resort layout map and room numbering list posted HERE in the Desire Pearl FAQ section ??

[SLINON]

No I haven't seen that yet. That is a great help! Thanks....

Cokemann, one more question: According to the rooms listed there is one oceanview king bed with a plunge pool but it only shows one room #79 like this. I have never seen this category when searching vacation packages. We will be booking with Air Canada Vacations and I would like to request this room. I don't know what price point it is at. Can you advise how I would attempt to get this room booked and the price/night?

Thanks!

[CokeMann]

Can you advise how I would attempt to get this room booked and the price/night?

I doubt that the vacation packagers ie AC vacations, Expedia, etc even know about it.
btw - all of the rooms any of the Desire properties are assigned on the standard ROH (run of house) basis so even if you ask for a specific room number they will try to accommodate you but there is no guarantee....

I think if you are interested in that particular room/category you would have to contact Desire Pearl directly to obtain pricing and book it.
You could start by emailing your question to the front desk manager at Pearl FRONT.PEARL@DESIRERESORTS.COM

[SLINON]

Ok, will do, thanks very much!

[Beachside]

Very Nice!