If I Knew Then What I Know Now: 20 Tips from a Newbie
Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:17 amWe just spent 5 fantastic days in Pearl, Aug 22-26th. I thought about writing a conventional trip report, but there are so many good ones already I’d just be repeating what they say. So I thought instead I’d list 20 things, in no particular order, I’d tell me if I were planning a trip, or just considering it.
1. Overall, the people you meet are remarkably nice and open to conversation. Maybe it’s that without clothes some pretense is lifted or that it’s really kind of ridiculous so there’s a “We’re all in this together” attitude, but we found it remarkably easy to find nice people to chat with and make dinner plans with. But of course, there are a small minority of creepers and those that just really don’t want to be there.
2. Stock up on high quality sunscreen and aloe. Seems like common sense, but I blew it on this one. Forget the SPF 50 spray on crap (which is what I had), and get quality lotion. Yeah it’s messier and takes longer, but have your partner put it on you and it can be fun. There’s parts of you that will see the hot Mexican sun that have never seen any sun at all.
3. Cancun airport. Customs was fast and even courteous. Bu then there’s the “Running the Gauntlet” when you’re heading out to get your transfer to the resort. Professional looking people are literally lined up on the along the hall edges as you are headed to the airport exist. They’re aggressive and misleading. Don’t engage, head right out the door and find your prescheduled shuttle. We used USA Transfers and they were great.
4. Be there for the foam party. It’s like the resorts Christmas party for adults 52 times per year. It’s the biggest, most elaborate event the staff hosts, and not being there to participate is missing a very memorable and fun part of your trip. Advice for the ladies-wear a bottom of some sort just for this. A string, bikini bottom, whatever. Something that says all parts aren’t meant for play at this particular time, thank you very much. All the foam means you can temporarily lose your friends or partner, and views are obstructed. As nice as 99% of the people are, there is a 1% creep factor looking to take advantage of the mayhem in some sort of cheap way that’s not in line with the sexy and fun atmosphere the resort offers.
5. Lifestylers should probably look more to the other nearby Desire property, Riviera Maya. There was certainly some Lifestyle hook ups, but it’s not a big part of the Pearl crowd. Most everyone is respectful of couples wishes and there’s no pressure, either direct or implied.
6. Tips are important. Yes it’s all inclusive, but the staff works really hard and they are beyond nice. A little bit goes a long way. If you’re from the US, get some $2 bills. They’re less bulky than $1 dollar bills, and you hardly ever just give out $1 anyway. Give the bartender a few bucks in the tip jar once a day because you’ll have no pockets (or pants) most of the time. I never thought to tip the hard working entertainment staff and wish I would have.
7. Reserve a pool chair before breakfast. Hand the guy who takes care of the chairs and area by the pool $5 in the morning and you’re set all day. I think most of the nicer chairs are near the bar part of the pool, and they’re reserved for guests paying for upgraded rooms, which I think is quite fair. But he can still get you a spot by the pool or ocean, whichever you want.
8. The hot tub is hot. No, the water temperature isn’t much hotter than the pool actually, but the activity there is hot. There’s some fun in the late afternoon, but it’s the 11 PM onward timeslot that people start feeling amorous. Don’t go there then if you don’t want to enjoy the show or put on your own.
9. Take in the entertainment shows nights at the disco. They are high energy, short and sexy. The performers are beautiful.
10. Guys, bring one pair of nice slacks and boat shoes for the Pearl restaurant and the nightclub. You’ll be out of them before you get sick of wearing them anyway.
11. Do the photography session. There is an on-sight photographer. Like all the female staff, she’s beautiful and she knows her stuff. Just doing the shoot itself is fun, but the pictures can look as sensual, romantic or horny as you want. Then buy the shots you like ($15 each) and forget the nutty packages they offer. You very well might never show anybody, but they are a wonderful reminder of your sensual time for just you if no one else.
12. Don’t plan to buy much, if anything, at the resort store. $40 for spray-on sunscreen? Really? And while the clothes for the theme nights were great, they were ridiculously priced. Pearl needs to rethink what they’re doing with this part.
13. Three days isn’t enough time there. It’s a long, expensive way for most of us to get down to Cancun, and Pearl is so much fun you won’t want to leave anyway. Stay for a minimum of 5 days.
14. Take a cab to Puerto Morelos and get some cheap souvenirs for the kids or you. The cab is $10, and you can easily negotiate for everything. And it’s kind of a cool little place to see. Then an hour after you left to go, you’re back in the Pearl pool getting a Mai Tai.
15. Getting naked is like taking off a bandage. Just do it right away all at once and get it over with. Within 10 minutes you won’t even think about it anymore.
16. There are all body types. There’s some quality eye candy, and there’s some…not, we’ll say. Most of us are in between, and when someone is friendly, it didn’t really matter all that much.
17. Hit the gym, loose a few pounds mostly because you’ll feel better about you. No one will know where you started; this is more for your mental well-being.
18. The dreaded time share discussion. It’s completely optional. The incentive is a coupon book they highly prize, but it does have some nice breaks in it. We did it in 45 min, but 25 of that was more general customer service. They start with a huge multi property offer that costs over $50K, and end with one for around $10K that was at least reasonable. You can push them though quicker than 45 minutes if you try.
19. They pour a strong drink, and the booze is quality. Pace yourself, particularly at the start. Same can be said about the food. We enjoyed every meal.
20. The actual physical property is maybe a 3.5 or 4 out of 5 stars. They could upgrade the Oceanview rooms pretty easily, but they’re very clean. We spent little time in ours anyway. The grounds and pool area, restaurants, club house etc. are well maintained and very pretty. The atmosphere is beyond 5 stars, and that’s what you’re really paying for.
1. Overall, the people you meet are remarkably nice and open to conversation. Maybe it’s that without clothes some pretense is lifted or that it’s really kind of ridiculous so there’s a “We’re all in this together” attitude, but we found it remarkably easy to find nice people to chat with and make dinner plans with. But of course, there are a small minority of creepers and those that just really don’t want to be there.
2. Stock up on high quality sunscreen and aloe. Seems like common sense, but I blew it on this one. Forget the SPF 50 spray on crap (which is what I had), and get quality lotion. Yeah it’s messier and takes longer, but have your partner put it on you and it can be fun. There’s parts of you that will see the hot Mexican sun that have never seen any sun at all.
3. Cancun airport. Customs was fast and even courteous. Bu then there’s the “Running the Gauntlet” when you’re heading out to get your transfer to the resort. Professional looking people are literally lined up on the along the hall edges as you are headed to the airport exist. They’re aggressive and misleading. Don’t engage, head right out the door and find your prescheduled shuttle. We used USA Transfers and they were great.
4. Be there for the foam party. It’s like the resorts Christmas party for adults 52 times per year. It’s the biggest, most elaborate event the staff hosts, and not being there to participate is missing a very memorable and fun part of your trip. Advice for the ladies-wear a bottom of some sort just for this. A string, bikini bottom, whatever. Something that says all parts aren’t meant for play at this particular time, thank you very much. All the foam means you can temporarily lose your friends or partner, and views are obstructed. As nice as 99% of the people are, there is a 1% creep factor looking to take advantage of the mayhem in some sort of cheap way that’s not in line with the sexy and fun atmosphere the resort offers.
5. Lifestylers should probably look more to the other nearby Desire property, Riviera Maya. There was certainly some Lifestyle hook ups, but it’s not a big part of the Pearl crowd. Most everyone is respectful of couples wishes and there’s no pressure, either direct or implied.
6. Tips are important. Yes it’s all inclusive, but the staff works really hard and they are beyond nice. A little bit goes a long way. If you’re from the US, get some $2 bills. They’re less bulky than $1 dollar bills, and you hardly ever just give out $1 anyway. Give the bartender a few bucks in the tip jar once a day because you’ll have no pockets (or pants) most of the time. I never thought to tip the hard working entertainment staff and wish I would have.
7. Reserve a pool chair before breakfast. Hand the guy who takes care of the chairs and area by the pool $5 in the morning and you’re set all day. I think most of the nicer chairs are near the bar part of the pool, and they’re reserved for guests paying for upgraded rooms, which I think is quite fair. But he can still get you a spot by the pool or ocean, whichever you want.
8. The hot tub is hot. No, the water temperature isn’t much hotter than the pool actually, but the activity there is hot. There’s some fun in the late afternoon, but it’s the 11 PM onward timeslot that people start feeling amorous. Don’t go there then if you don’t want to enjoy the show or put on your own.
9. Take in the entertainment shows nights at the disco. They are high energy, short and sexy. The performers are beautiful.
10. Guys, bring one pair of nice slacks and boat shoes for the Pearl restaurant and the nightclub. You’ll be out of them before you get sick of wearing them anyway.
11. Do the photography session. There is an on-sight photographer. Like all the female staff, she’s beautiful and she knows her stuff. Just doing the shoot itself is fun, but the pictures can look as sensual, romantic or horny as you want. Then buy the shots you like ($15 each) and forget the nutty packages they offer. You very well might never show anybody, but they are a wonderful reminder of your sensual time for just you if no one else.
12. Don’t plan to buy much, if anything, at the resort store. $40 for spray-on sunscreen? Really? And while the clothes for the theme nights were great, they were ridiculously priced. Pearl needs to rethink what they’re doing with this part.
13. Three days isn’t enough time there. It’s a long, expensive way for most of us to get down to Cancun, and Pearl is so much fun you won’t want to leave anyway. Stay for a minimum of 5 days.
14. Take a cab to Puerto Morelos and get some cheap souvenirs for the kids or you. The cab is $10, and you can easily negotiate for everything. And it’s kind of a cool little place to see. Then an hour after you left to go, you’re back in the Pearl pool getting a Mai Tai.
15. Getting naked is like taking off a bandage. Just do it right away all at once and get it over with. Within 10 minutes you won’t even think about it anymore.
16. There are all body types. There’s some quality eye candy, and there’s some…not, we’ll say. Most of us are in between, and when someone is friendly, it didn’t really matter all that much.
17. Hit the gym, loose a few pounds mostly because you’ll feel better about you. No one will know where you started; this is more for your mental well-being.
18. The dreaded time share discussion. It’s completely optional. The incentive is a coupon book they highly prize, but it does have some nice breaks in it. We did it in 45 min, but 25 of that was more general customer service. They start with a huge multi property offer that costs over $50K, and end with one for around $10K that was at least reasonable. You can push them though quicker than 45 minutes if you try.
19. They pour a strong drink, and the booze is quality. Pace yourself, particularly at the start. Same can be said about the food. We enjoyed every meal.
20. The actual physical property is maybe a 3.5 or 4 out of 5 stars. They could upgrade the Oceanview rooms pretty easily, but they’re very clean. We spent little time in ours anyway. The grounds and pool area, restaurants, club house etc. are well maintained and very pretty. The atmosphere is beyond 5 stars, and that’s what you’re really paying for.
