Newbie trip report - October 7-15, 2014

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

We have decided to write two different trip reports, or sets of reports if it takes more than one post for each of us, from both of our perspectives. There may be some things that spoke louder to one of us than the other, and we can address specific things in each that might help address questions for people reading.

So, off we go.

A little background on us here. This is Mrs. S speaking, Mr. K may come in and add more background later.

We are an early 40s couple, not in the lifestyle prior to this trip. We had made a few efforts to connect with other couples that for one reason or the other didn't work out, and that threw me off some. I used the phrase 'disastrous' to describe one of our dates to another couple while chatting on this trip, and those experiences really turned me nervous and less interested in exploring. We have never visited a CO resort before. We are a sexually adventurous couple and the idea of this resort really appealed to us.

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

Part One of review from Mrs. S... I don't have a lot of pictures to put up - I took loads the first day, and then after that never took another one. I'm typically a person who takes a picture of anything and everything, so it was actually nice to not be pinned to my camera phone this trip.

I'm going to toss things out as they flow, and will section them off into topics the best I can. I'm going to address things that I had specific questions myself about as I scoured other trip reports.

Pre-Trip prep & Clothing
I was flat terrified about this trip, in all honesty. I have some body image and confidence issues, so shopping for clothes was difficult for me. I spent a lot of time on theme night outfits, not sure what to buy or what kind of dinner dresses to wear. I didn't want to be that person who was out of place with chosen outfits. I ended up buying way more things than I actually wore, but I feel like all of them worked for the situations I was in.

My advice for people on clothing purchases - buy what feels right. Buy extra so you have choices if it makes you more comfortable, that way you can see what others are wearing if that helps. If you don't need to see (which I did) then just go for sexy. Anything fits. Don't worry about being out of place, just be comfortable.

Daily Wear
I took my clothes off as soon as we got downstairs after breakfast the first morning. I had read someone who said 'rip off the bandaid right away' and it was really true. I then ended up taking a yoga class naked, the only naked one in the class that morning, which helped more with the comfort level. After an hour of naked downward dog with a class full of clothed people there isn't a lot more room for shy about the nudity.

On clothing for restaurants and other areas

Breakfast - served at Aphrodite, a breakfast buffet or a menu to order from. More about food in part 2. On the clothes - a lot of people came in to breakfast in shorts and tshirts, yoga clothes, etc. I came down the first day in a sheer bathing suit cover up with nothing on under it and felt like I got a little bit of the 'hairy eyeball' look from some other patrons in the restaurant. Got similar stink eye looks at breakfast a couple of days, actually. It bothered me at first, then I thought to myself that I was naked earlier and would be again soon, so as long as my stuff was covered enough that there was fabric between me and the chair that I was all good. You do have to wear footwear in the restaurant, so remember a pair of sandals. If you don't have any, they will loan you a pair of Desire flipflops at the door. Men do need to be covered top and bottom as well. They have towels at the door as well, and I watched a few couples go in wrapped in them.

Around the pool - I walked down to the pool daily in a pareo wrap of some kind of sheer bathing suit cover. Other than to the sales pitch I didn't put a bottom on. I felt okay with that. Took the cover up off upon arrival at the pool, and was generally sans clothes until time for lunch in restaurant or dinner. I had a great floppy sun hat, which I wore all day every day.

Lunch - same outfits as breakfast typically, or whatever I wore down to the pool. Borrowed sandals again. Don't wear long sleeve wraps for breakfast or lunch unless you are cool natured, it gets warm in the restaurant fast by the windows. Or - sit one row in, more air flow. We did a lot of grilled items by the pool, we did those on our pool loungers without the clothes. I wondered once or twice if some people were offended by this, but we were in the same place we had been sitting all morning, just with plates. I also decided to let that go. I had read some comments about people not wanting to eat with other people's junk in their faces so I was working to be sensitive, but figured if someone was eating some grilled sausage or fish on a pool lounger that didn't really count.

Dinner - I brought different outfits for dinner and the disco, and that worked well. I did feel that Pearl was a dressier feel than Aphrodite, and at least two of the dresses I brought I felt were Aphrodite appropriate, but a little too much, or maybe not quite enough, for Pearl. We ate only one meal at Pearl. I did wear shoes to dinner. The dresses I wore were sexy, not particularly sheer. I had brought some sheer dinner dresses that I worried wouldn't be restaurant friendly, then towards the end of the trip I realized that they would have been fine. I had a couple of really tiny club dresses - I wouldn't have worn them to Pearl, but I wore them to Aphrodite and felt fine.

Disco/Theme Nights - play it up as much as you are comfortable with. We had specific items for every theme night, and I think that really made it more interesting. Not everyone participated, and I saw very few who went as far with the themes as we did. The staff loved it, and it really made me enjoy it. Felt like stepping outside of myself for a bit, which was exciting.

Remember to take walking around the resort shoes. And an extra pair of sunglasses in case you break yours. Sun is bright down there.

Take more sunscreen than you think you will need. And then some more. And maybe then some more after that. It is expensive as hell down there, and takes a lot to cover an entire naked body. You can check as much as you want, don't think you are limited to 3 oz like the carryon. Check sunscreen for wax content - we learned while we were there that the higher SPF sunscreens have a lot of wax in them, and the bright Mexican sun will melt it right off and pull the sunscreen with it. A lower SPF with less wax will actually protect much better than a higher one. We bought a jar of sunscreen and a bottle of aloe from the onsite M-W-F suncare expert and it was fantastic - $45 for both, and well worth it. The sunscreen we bought in the lobby cost a lot more. LOL We saw a few people who burned badly the first day, and they were miserable. Mr. K and I are both pretty fair, so sunscreen was important. We managed to not get too bad - some red spots after the first day, but we managed it well and came out just fine.

Part 2 coming up after I go downstairs for coffee. We got back into Atlanta last night and I'm still worn out. Loved loved loved the trip, but it wore me out. Whew.

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

Back upstairs with coffee. Now that I've gotten the clothing thing out there, I can talk about whatever I want. I have to say - as a woman reading trip reports and posts, the first thing I wanted to know was what people were wearing to the various locations. Now that I've gotten that out I can chatter away.

Alright...

Airports, transfers and check in
Mr. K is not a good flier, so we decided that if we were getting him on a plane we needed to make this trip worth it. It was our first trip out of the country, and the longest vacation we have ever taken. We had direct flights there and back from Atlanta, and we upgraded to business class which was awesome. They met us on the plane with mimosas and kept Mr. filled up with bourbon on the flight.

We did have some storms when we were flying out, which made for a turbulent trip. In hindsight, I will have some kind of medication for Mr. K, the alcohol just didn't cut it at the beginning. If I can't have medication, I'll make sure that we have liquor up front - they had to hold the service on the plane until the turbulence settled down, so we had too much time to get sober.

We had no trouble with TSA - our SkyPriority business upgrade got us into a quick line and we were at the airport pretty early. Five minutes and we were out and moving on. On the other end at arrival in Mexico we also had no trouble. We heard people referencing red lights and green lights after pushing a button - we never saw that. As soon as we approached the checkpoint a nice woman asked if we had alcohol, cigarettes or firearms. We said no, she steered us around the conveyor belt and sent us on. I have no idea why. Mr. K was feeling no pain at that point, maybe she figured we were all better off if we didn't have to send our suitcases through the scanner and chat.

Return flight was much smoother. Mr. K stayed awake most of the night before, so was able to sleep more on the plane. Still no trouble with customs or security. We did get checked three times on the way into Atlanta, but they all were comparing passport pictures to face, asking a couple of questions, then on.

With the fact that we had the hurdle of the flight, we decided to make this trip totally worth it and went for the penthouse. I really wanted the bathtub and that view, and can admit that I liked the idea of the private butler. An indulgence yes, but also insured that if we needed somewhere to retreat to if things were more than I could handle that we had somewhere awesome to go. I found that I didn't need that thankfully, but the room itself was still fantastic. We got private transport as part of the penthouse booking through Aventour, which I learned is owned by the same holding company that owns the resort. There was another couple there at the airport at the same time waiting for transport who might have been on our flight, and I was very surprised that we weren't all transported together. The ride was comfortable, in a well maintained Suburban. The driver told us about the city as we were driving in. The ride back was also nice, though the driver spoke less English so there was less chit chat. He had the radio playing to Mexican dance music, which was a nice little goodbye to the disco.

Once we arrived at the resort we were met by a beautiful woman named Lucy who sat us down with champagne until check in was available. The check in process took about ten minutes, I don't know if the pre check in helped with that or not. We arrived about 1:00 pm local time so the room wasn't ready. After we finished at the check in desk we sat down on one of the couches with Axel, who as we learned is named after Axel Rose. He told us that his mother lived in America when she was younger and loved rock and roll. That was a nice ice breaker, as I was nervous and probably looked it. Axel went through our paperwork, showed us our massage certificate that was included as part of the special and scheduled us for our appointment to come back and talk to him later in the week. Once we were done speaking with him we were escorted to the restaurant for lunch and told to check back when we were finished and the room would be ready by then.

After lunch we met our butler Carlos who took us upstairs and showed us the room, gave us the lay of the land a little and told us who to call if we needed anything. We wandered a little on the patio, got into the plunge pool, had some wine and cheese, and then passed out completely after the long day and the much alcohol for Mr. K. Slept straight through until 4 am, at which point we got up and were able to watch the eclipse from the balcony. AWESOME. Made use of the pool loungers after the eclipse and were downstairs bright and early for breakfast the next morning.

The resort facilities
I felt like the resort was beautiful and well maintained. There were some places that needed some repair while we were there and we could see maintenance staff working pretty much 24 hours a day to fix them. The room was lovely, and the view was spectacular.

The lobby is very warm. They are doing work - from what they told us they are pushing the lobby out, going to enclose in an area for live bands and music and I think a bar and that area will be climate controlled. The main lobby may actually end up a little smaller after that, but will still be open. There is very little air flow in there, which makes it hard for the evening events in there. The lobby bar made a great espresso martini, that sadly I didn't learn about until a few days before we left. I have to learn how to make it.

The pool area was great. I liked the swim up bar, and everything was easy to access. Restrooms right by the pool. There were a number of pool lounges and umbrellas on the 'wild' side of the pool. On the relaxed side there were more pool loungers, some beach beds, along with low loungers actually in the water. All of the games and activities took place on the wild side of the pool, as it was right next to the restaurant and backed up to the jacuzzi. We never participated in the games in the pool, but we watched all of it. Water polo looked to be dangerous!

Jacuzzi = awesome. More beach beds there, which we made use of and greatly enjoyed. We did notice that some people came over to the jacuzzi in the evenings and staked out a bed and then got in the water and never went back to the bed. I'm not sure if that would work if the beds were more crowded on the days in question. Bartender there was great.

As one who forgot to bring sandals and was barefoot most of the time, there are some rough areas on the pathways between the buildings but they are mostly smooth everywhere else. Walking was easy, a few places were unsteady for heels.

The beach had a lot of seaweed. Nothing they can do about that, but they tried hard to keep it clean. I walked in the surf some, and didn't realize until a few days later that the weird allergic reaction I was having that manifested in a rash on my feet and ankles probably came from that. The palampas beds were lovely, and while we had one guaranteed for the penthouse I never say anyone who seemed to have trouble finding one. There were several that were unused most days.

Restaurants and food
I enjoyed all of the food that we had. We ate most of our formal meals at Aphrodite - my favorite things were chilaquiiles with green salsa, onion, chicken, cheese and jalapeno for breakfast and the tempura shrimp tacos I had for lunch several days. They brought us out great habanero sauces when we asked them - if you like spicy definitely ask for the green habanero sauce. Wow! There is a grill menu in Aphrodite for breakfast and lunch as well as the buffet. We stuck mainly to the grill menu, though had a few things off the bar. A southwest soup was on there one day and was phenomenal, and they had a great pork tostado out at breakfast.

Most days they had a grill station set up outside the restaurant during lunch - chicken, fish, steak, chorizo, vegetables, one day hamburgers, chicken or fish patties. They had pizza in a hot bar most of the afternoon and out out chips and cheese and little sliders in the evenings. They had a grill set up in the lobby at night and served food there until about 3 am. There was a man making tacos until midnight one night and they were the greatest tacos I've ever had - corn tortillas on the grill, steak or chicken, cilantro and onion. Never got back to the lobby grill early enough to catch the tacos again. They also had pizza out every night.

We went to Pearl for dinner the first night - it was good. It was the Italian Carta night. The other nights we went to Aphrodite for dinner. My favorite of all of the nights was the Mexican Contemperano and the spicy fish dish. Overall I preferred Aphrodite to Pearl.

We ordered a lot of room service late night - after staying out and about until 3am we ordered pizza and sandwiches. We did breakfast from room service one morning and dinner one night. The dinner portion from room service was huge compared to in the restaurants. As part of the penthouse they included free room service, so we set up to have coffee and fruit every morning at 7:30 and wine and cheese around 5. Felt very decadent.

It was mentioned in another trip review that several people had some stomach issues during the trip - I was one of that group and agree that there was a lot of bloat. Don't know why. A friend who goes to Cancun often suggested I take fiber gummies and take them regularly during the week - I brought them, but never took them. I wonder if they might have helped. My worst night was the one where we ordered room service dinner, and I think the volume pushed it over the edge.

Let's cut this off now and start a part 3.

[maltesefalcon]

Wow! Awesome and well written report so far! Thanks so much for taking the time to put your thoughts on the screen. Just adds to our excitement about getting there on Sunday.

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

Part 3 from Mrs. S...

Staff & amenities
Everyone we met on staff was fabulous. They all were respectful, nothing felt weird. I was worried about being naked while someone brought me food or drink, would it be freaky. It wasn't. They were very professional. It is helpful to know some Spanish. I could see that some of the staff was new, or new to position, and they were having some trouble. The managers kept on top of everything though to make sure that things were smooth.

The activities were fun to watch as I said, but we didn't participate in a lot of them. I loved the staff leading them, though - everyone was enthusiastic and fun. I wish I had taken the pole dancing class, and I should have taken more yoga if I had been awake. We did take the massage class - that was lovely. It ended up overcrowded and wasn't able to be a half to the man and half to the woman, so turned into a room full of couples with blindfolded men being massaged by women with oil, ice and chocolate sauce in delicate places. Someone later described it as a group orgy. Loved it. It was out first day out and about and was a new thing for me to be getting freaky with other people around. It helped transition for the jacuzzi later.


Now to the good stuff...

Beach beds = awesome.
Jacuzzi beds = so much more awesome. Voyeurism apparently really does it for me, from both watching and being watched.
Foam party = O.M.G. Seriously. Mr. K made reference to the Vajayjay Raft in another thread. Yeah. Wow.
Sensual massage = I can't imagine how it could have been any better. I'll have to review that in the private forum, but let me just say that I can't see what the erotic would have that this sensual one didn't. At the end of it I was up on top of Mr. K with his masseuse behind his head rubbing, and my masseur behind me holding my hips up and moving me in ways I don't know that I could have managed on my own after the massage. Breathtaking. Ended up in a private jacuzzi after with a bottle of wine and chocolate dipped strawberries. Holy cow.

We found ourselves in a pattern of getting up around 9 (me at least, Mr. K was up at 7:30), down for breakfast sometime after, pool or beach bed in the morning and early afternoon after lunch, jacuzzi before dinner, dinner and disco, jacuzzi after, and were up until least 3 and some nights 4. We met a lot of great people while we were there, which helped a lot with the comfort level. They were real people, with real lives and real conversations. Prior to the trip I had no idea what I would talk about with another couple while at a CO resort. Well, in a lot of cases we talked about work and jobs and life and the state of US healthcare and whatever else we wanted to talk about. It wasn't all sex talk all the time, though there was some of that as well. We met one couple not so great, and discovered that they had been making the rounds of just about everyone and were pretty douchy in their behavior. At one point the man tried to come up to our room to bring us something, and tried to slip in with a room service delivery. The young man bringing the delivery stopped him and later told me "I didn't let the man in your room, he's a bad man". There had been some complaints made about the couple to the resort and shortly after that they left. It made me feel better to know that the staff had their eyes open and were on top of things.

As I said, I was really nervous before this trip. I had no idea how to answer the question "are you in the lifestyle?" and was pretty short with a few people who asked us. After relaxing a little I did much better. The answer before the trip was that I was interested but in total denial of it when it came down to it. The answer after the trip is that after some experiences there, including some making out with a woman in the room one night while our husbands watched with tequila and the aforementioned vajayjay raft, is that I'm pretty open to explore. I missed some opportunities while I was there and regret that - if I could go back and do it again I would do some things differently.

Bottom line, best vacation ever. I totally agree with the person who said that clothes are the enemy. I was ready to go back before we got out of the airport in Mexico and we are already shopping for another trip. It was eye opening, and Mr. K and I are so much better for the experience.

I'm going to stop now and open the floor for Mr. K. I may come back with more thoughts as they come to me later.

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

Let me start out by saying I'm not sure I can bring my own comments to my wife's level. As you all who have read this far can see she is a woman who thinks things through and recalls exacting detail. I cannot disagree with any of her comments. I'll try to add my own flavor here and there but the minute detail will remain hers as I agree 100% with everything she posted.

Pre-Travel:
For me the process was both more and less complicated than for the Mrs. As a man shopping for theme night outfits is a bit of a trial. Sure, if assless chaps are the costume de jure then you are in luck! Other than that get used to shopping in Asian sizes. I am not a giant of a man...but I run about 6 foot and 222 pounds. I ordered the largest size of everything you can find in China and some of it fit "hey, baby" tight. And some of it fit "my junk just got compressed into some kind of pocket dimension" tight. Seriously fellas....try it on before you pack it! I did manage to assemble what I thought were excellent and interesting theme night selections which, unfortunately and to the amusement of many, often involved some type of robe. Whoa boy is that a great choice for hot tropic evenings.

Dinner wear is less of an issue. For men its as simple as buying a few pairs of cotton drawstring pants, light tropic shirts with collars (long or short sleeved) and some comfortable closed toe shoes. I brought 4 pairs of dinner/disco shoes and wound up wearing one pair of them most nights. Anyone reading this who was there this week should have fond memories of my swingin' white patent leather loafers. So my advice there? Only take comfortable shoes. I bought a few pairs on style/price and they just didn't work.

Clothing aside my issues were somewhat body image, somewhat lifestyle image, and somewhat just plain worried about whether or not Mrs. S would be her usual confident self or flip right out on the lifestyle question. As she mentioned in her own report our prior attempts at putting our toes into this water resulted in them being nibbled by piranha. Perhaps an extreme comparison, but they left her somewhat nervous and shut down on the topic. While I always believed in my heart that she and I were a good fit from an emotional, sexual and relationship standpoint it was a complex topic in our home. My advice here...leave the complexity at home. Agree to just let things happen as they happen. Things will work out the way they are supposed to if both partners just let them. More on this later.

Men: Bring plenty of grooming supplies. Bring clear deodorant. If you have facial hair bring what you need to care for that and more. Bring a hat, bring a million miles of sunscreen, and bring some gentle water based sunscreen for your twig and berries. Whatever you put anywhere else put something GENTLE there. If you like wine in the room take a corkscrew. If you wear glasses take two pair, same with sunglasses. A good pair of sandals for everyday wear is key...I dropped coin on a great pair of Teva sandals and regret it not one bit. Depending on your style I found that a sarong and a gauze shirt or light tee was a great thing to carry for breakfast/lunch. I never wore swim trunks while there but lot of guys did for sports and activities like beach volleyball or water polo. Which is, at least at Pearl, somewhat aggressive. Be prepared if you play...you will get smacked in the head with the ball. But in a good way. And, no, not THOSE balls.
Note: I was pretty much the only man wearing a sarong there all week. It is apparently not the hip fashion statement in CO resorts this year. Most guys popped on shorts for their restaurant/transition periods. Me? I'm sticking to the sarong. Most comfortable thing ever and it is on and off with a quick knot. Plus it doubles as a handy knapsack if you decide the Mexican hobo life is calling you. I don't judge.

Travel:

Oh....and then there was THE issue. Mrs. S says I'm not a good flier. That is so much more of an understatement. Anyone here Twilight Zone fans? Yeah, think Shatner. "There's someone on the wing!" I made it. And we WILL be going back. I'll do anything for my wife, and for our relationship, I just hope to find a better combination of tools to knock me the hell out. One plus about being a big airplane baby is that it is a great conversation starter. And I'm an engineer. Yeah, I know. Physician, heal thyself.

The trip to the resort and initial check in I'll leave to Mrs. S as by that point I was overjoyed to be off the plane and was the absolute drunk American. Pretty sure I introduced myself just that way to our driver. Sorry Daniel, you took it like a trooper. Check in was just as she described. Especially because I can't recall enough specific detail to contradict. Though...she did miss one point...that when we were eating our first meal at Aphrodite the server, Gustavo, found out I liked tequila. So four tequila shots later.......
[From here everything else is a blur...though I do remember drunk ordering "wine and cheese every day at 5pm! And fruit..with coffee...everyday at 7:30am!" Never turn an extremely happy and inebriated man loose with a butler aiming to please.}

I can tell you that arriving at Pearl is sort of like deplaning on fantasy island. Everything just seems so much bolder, brighter and more exciting. There is a charge in the air, even on slow days, that is hard to describe but it is palpable. I think if you are open to what you are about to experience you'll feel it as well. I think it has to be your personal openness because the small minority of people who seem to not be excited walking in also seem to not be excited walking out. I'm sad for them in that case because I feel they may have just missed the greatest experience of their lives.

At The Resort

Mrs. S described the facilities in great detail. I'll let all of her comments stand for me as well. I'll just add a little local color from our own experiences and my perspective.

Jacuzzi: Just about the coolest place on the planet. Everything is happening there, whether in large or small numbers, from sex to simple conversation. Some of the people in the jacuzzi are confirmed lifestylers, some will never be, and some hop in not quite sure where they are. And the best part? Every single one of those couples finds one or more other couples to talk with and spend time getting to know. Maybe a handful of couples we encountered were less than stellar but that represented such a small minority that it is worth mentioning only in the name of complete honesty. Kicking those folks out of this thread leaves us with the 95% of people we met that were absolutely awesome. Several couples we intend to stay in touch with beyond Pearl and hopefully see again soon wherever possible. Obviously back at Pearl being the best of all possible locations. As my wife said we made use of the jacuzzi beds a couple of times, including our last night when they were absolutely soaked with rain, and the side of the jacuzzi...and there may have been some aquatic hanky panky between us. Should we have used the beds more? Probably...though it can be hard to break away from fascinating conversations with interesting couples. Whether or not those are couples you may play with at some future date. The jacuzzi is where my wife encountered her first couple of direct "are you in the lifestyle?" questions. As she said her initial answers were a bit....um....brief. To one couple the first night, who turned out to be part of our little group later and two wonderful people, her answer was a nicely yelled "NO!" and very big eyes. We used that to have a long talk about engaging other couples in a friendly and honest fashion, that when we are hanging out in the hot tub at 2am it is really not out of the ordinary to ask that question, and that perhaps "no" wasn't the most honest answer. Great talk, great honesty, and it led to so much more for us both at Pearl. By the next day her answer was "not sure yet" and by the end of our stay her answer was "yes". Unfortunately she missed chances to give that direct answer to at least one of the couples we met. Her reference to "opportunities missed". We intend to try and make up for that in the future.

Okay...my lovely wife has just finished whipping up some of her famous turkey tacos and I am on the way to eat. I'll put up my part 2 and wrap this up a little later.

-Mr. K

[couplenindy]

Wow...great Report! Thanks for such an in depth review. I have been to Desire Cabo and Riviera Maya, but never Pearl. Your "newbie" report answered questions I didn't even know I had!
Indy

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

Well here he is with part 2 of my trip report follow up. As I re-read Mrs. K's report and my earlier effort I'm not sure I have a ton left to say. However I'll type a bit and see where this leads me. Okay...

The Beach and Pool:
The beach has seaweed on it. Bottom line there. However, past that, the atmosphere lying on a beach bed (and I assume lounger) was fairly nice. Ocean breezes, crashing waves, random passers by from other resorts trying to not look at all of our junk lying right out there. That is the beach. Sounds a little odd but really who the hell cares about those folks wandering by? Maybe they are great people, maybe they aren't, but they definitely are taking the wrong vacation. Come back random people! Drop your pants and get a room. Worked for us.

The pool was just exceptional. From the always lively "wild side" to the serene "mild side" which we didn't spend much time on everything was fantastic. Poolside drink service, constant conversation and sun sun sun. The pool is 4ft deep from end to end so it is a place to just walk and relax. Standing in the pool with a drink chatting about whatever with a half dozen new friends is a fantastic experience. And though we did see a few interesting things in the pool most people kept the serious hijinks for the jacuzzi. The size is sufficient that groups could stand and drink at the swim up bar without interfering in the pool activities going on just a few feet away. A good design and used well. Koko, Liz, Jess...the entire entertainment staff constantly worked to keep things moving and fun. I can't say enough about those ladies. If you go take at least one of their classes, whatever it might be. As Mrs. S referenced we took the "rekindling the passion" class with Liz on our first full day out and about after her initial "NO!" to everyone in the jacuzzi. So moving to that....

Entertainment staff and Activities
So Liz taught the rekindling the passion class. We didn't think we needed our passions very rekindled but took this class anyway. Good choice. Liz, going by Dr. Liz for this, was prepared to teach 6 couples and there were 11, maybe 12, by the time we started. It was very crowded with lots of yoga mats scattered in a close area of the dance floor. As Mrs. S referenced it was supposed to be a 50/50 'massage, erotic touch, etc' session but it wound up being all the men blindfolded for the entire class while Liz guided the women through administering a pleasurable touch to their men. No, not a crazy sex shop, but the girls did perform very pleasurable acts upon their willing partners. In my case the woman with the man to my left was apparently hitting me with her pony tail while flipping her head around on purpose and winking at my wife. I knew it wasn't Mrs. S' hair because her head was obviously someplace else at that moment.......

And the above is one of the things that I can't stress enough about the people who work there...they are flexible and creative. Never uptight, never judgemental, and they work very hard to bring everyone into the mindset of the resort. I know it is their job but I witnessed enough from all of them over the week to understand that when they genuinely make connections with guests they are allowed the leeway to socialize with them. Don't read that incorrectly...there is NEVER anything inappropriate between staff and guests. They keep those borders firmly closed. However there is no restriction on friendship, a joke told, a drink sampled or a meal shared with a couple they like. As you spend time at the resort you will find yourself seeing Koko at dinner with a couple or Jess chatting with a group in the lobby bar...and looking relaxed and natural. I could throw out Marco and some of the male staff as well but, hey, I'm still a man. I have priorities and a journalistic angle to promote

The disco was always fun, but it often died early on. We participated in every theme night we were present for save for two on which we were crashed in our room. So 6 out of 8 possible nights. It was always fun and the attention and laughter you generate by showing up in theme is possibly the best ice breaker you'll have. Do it, just do it. I'm sure the ladies are mostly comfortable with it. For you gentlemen who are worried you will look foolish....trust me....you WILL. Own that fact and have fun.

We did not try an excursion nor did we do the erotic photo shoot. We have been working for some time on our fitness and bodies and we continue to do so. We'll do it next time when both of us should be much closer to our eventual fitness goals. Everyone we met at the resort who had done the shoot raved about it and seemed extremely pleased. That's as much first hand information as I can provide. Same with most of the other excursions and activities. Didn't hear much negative feedback on any of it.

Restaurants
Pearl: Nice, seemed upscale, and the food was fine. No complaints at all about dining there though we wound up there only once during our trip. Definitely felt the dress code was a small bit more conservative...if such a thing can apply there...than Aphrodite.

Aphrodite : Our favorite. The vast majority of our meals were eaten here, including dinner. The food selection was excellent and frankly, with one exception who we suspect was either super new or pressed into serving duty, the staff was extremely attentive and friendly. We simply felt more at home in Aphrodite and thus made it more of one during this trip. Your mileage may vary but we recommend getting to know the staff at both and making your own choice.

People
So what is this vacation all about? For us it was about people. The people Mrs. S and I were both when we arrived and left as well as all the wonderful and interesting people we met and got to know along the way. I doubt we would be these people without that part of the experience. So let me address a couple of things about meeting people at Pearl. Perhaps these answers will seem obvious but to us they really weren't at all. The big thing..."How do you meet people?" Sure people are everywhere...and naked...but then what? We recognized several couples from an alternative forum group and yet hesitated to speak to many of them. So over time we discovered the secret: Just say hi. Yeah, I know, but when you are naked and at least half of your team is somewhat frightened of the upcoming conversations that can pose a serious challenge. Once we got past that and realized that not everyone we met was going to hard sell us on swapping in the first 45 seconds of conversation everyone just relaxed and we began to meet people.

And what people! Couples from Canada, Florida, Virginia, Georgia, Tennessee, the U.K. and the list goes on and on. We found ourselves in a group we were comfortable exploring our attitudes towards lifestyle choices and were comfortable enough to explore the first few with them. With some others in the group even more fun in the foam. And though we missed opportunities to move that further with our friends there was not one second of our time wasted or regretted. We fully intend to do everything we can to create a future opportunity to see what else might happen. A big change for us in a short time. But believe me not a rushed one. Which brings me to I think my final point unless I realize I missed something. And perhaps my Mrs. S will post her own thoughts tomorrow on what I have said here or anything else she thinks of. So my final topic....

How This Trip Changed Our Life
Sounds very dramatic doesn't it? I think if you could ask anyone who met us from the first moment we arrived there is no doubt that we have an extremely solid marriage built on the deepest most abiding love you can imagine. Mrs. S is the only woman I have ever loved, and I have loved her since May 26th 1996. At 11:42am. Eastern Standard Time. Yes, I know to the minute. I need to put that here so that there is context. I'm sure some people with relationships that are "missing something" come to places like this to find it, or to put excitement back into their lives, or to rekindle passions. I think that Pearl can do that for you though I'm not 100% convinced that is the best set of reasons to attend. For me it is about walking through those doors with as much love and passion as you can possibly have for another human. You cannot find love of your partner in the arms of another person, nor can you rekindle a magic passion by watching them with same. I believe with all of my heart that great and abiding love and passion needs to be your companion already. In our case it was. What was not with us was a full and honest admission of all the things that turned us on, made us exited and gave us a sexual thrill that could be layered on or around our core relationship. Call it denial, call it uncertainty, call it abject fear...whatever. Most humans have things in their hearts they truly desire and will often conceal these thoughts from everyone around them, even the ones they trust the most. My wife and I had tried to resolve the lifestyle question multiple times through the years. To the point of not even discussing it for the year or so leading up to planning this trip to Pearl. It was a topic that had burned us in one way or another in the past and neither of us fully understood why. We are an extremely amorous and adventurous couple. To be stonewalled by this topic was uncharacteristic. We didn't know how to get past it...until we got to Pearl. Whenever we reached a very personal question or challenge Pearl stepped in. We would take each other, look around, and quietly remind our partner that our entire life is built around the love we have shared for so long. My wife is my best friend, lover, and the most beautiful woman who has ever lived. And because of that to not be 100% honest was a crime against our relationship. So we put down the fear, the apprehension, the doubt and we just did the things we felt like doing and talked each one over. Lo and behold...everyone's fears were misplaced and unfounded. She likes the things she likes not because they are better, or fill a void, but just because she likes them. Katy Perry my wife owes you a great debt. Sometime soon we'll have to find her a song that includes gentleman as well. I like the things I like and jealousy has no root within us. I never thought the two of us could be more into each other, more focused on each other or more forgiving of each others faults until this vacation. Forgive me everyone if this last bit is less "report" than it could be. I read a lot of posts and a lot of questions on these forums where people ask variations on the question "Do you know anyone who went to Desire not in the lifestyle but was changed by their experiences and left in it?" Well in our case the answer is a most definite "no". We weren't changed by our time at Pear, the environment there, or our wonderfully supportive and entertaining friends we made. Not even in the slightest. We didn't leave changed by our experience, we left the couple we should have been all along. Desire simply let us find the truth about ourselves in a safe, exciting environment. Do not expect a few days in this wonderful place to make you someone you aren't, regardless of what you do or experience when there. It can only strip away the bullshit of the "real" world and help you find your true self if you are brave enough to answer every question you hear honestly.

I hope everyone reading this takes their partner to Pearl and just lets thing happen. If you are faithful to yourself and each other you'll know who you are when you leave. And if you already know who you are before you arrive...what the hell do you need all this long winded advice for? Get on that airplane and go have the time of your lives! I know we did.

[CokeMann]

To Mr. K

Thanks for the great trip report !!

The two truths about Desire I have always promoted - it's the people that make the place and as you now know it's really all about the ladies !!

Most newbie ladies who contemplate going to Desire are overwhelmed and sometimes consumed by FUDs (fears, doubts and uncertainties) before the trip - for those that do follow thru and go, most benefit in unexpected ways from the trip.

Upon arriving home after their initial trip and thinking about it for a bit, most ladies suddenly realize how positive the experience has been for them personally in regard to feelings of confidence and empowerment.

Mr. K as you now realize, you are the beneficiary of her feelings of confidence and empowerment

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

From a scheduling perspective - we arrived in Mexico at 1:30 local time, got to the resort shortly after 2. Flight left to return home at 1:40, so our shuttle left Pearl at 10:30 am. For future bookings I will schedule to arrive earlier and leave later. We observed that check in as at 3, but as soon as you arrive you can go for lunch or drinks. Next time I'll pack a pareo and go we'll go to the bar or hop in the pool until the room is ready. They will go ahead and check you in and pop on an armband so you will be good to go. Departure later also allows for maximum time during your last day. Checkout is officially noon, but we saw several couples whose shuttles weren't leaving until 1 or a little later who were in the pool or having lunch in the afternoon. I didn't get the vibe that the staff was bothered by that at all.

[ironman1231]

What a fantastic report! I hope I have that kind of experience myself.

[danbo]

Mr. and Mrs. K. You rock. Thank you.

[dsle]

Thank you so much for such a wonderful report. We are heading to RM in 7 weeks.and I'm (Mrs.) super excited but also so very nervous. I could see myself in so much of what you wrote. Your advice and experiences have really helped me "lean in" more and help me better envision how to keep my nerves from undermining our adventure.

[brewandsue]

Mr K - What a beautiful and eloquently expressed last section of your trip report! You are lucky to have one another. There is nothing better for a loving relationship than to be TOTALLY open and honest, even when it seems scary. Allowing yourselves and one another to be 100% who you really are is the most loving thing you can do. Bravo!

[K&S4Fun&Sun]

Thanks everyone for the comments and compliments. We both want to say that even a week back in the world of pants hasn't dimmed the passion we brought back from Pearl one bit. Though it has reinforced just how much it sucks to wear clothes.