by skeeter88210 » Sun Apr 10, 2016 4:41 pm
Wow – thanks for all the compliments everybody – you’re making me doubt some of my life choices. Perhaps a career in naked party resort gonzo journalism is in my future. . . .
Before we get going – I would add that I’m really enjoying writing this and I encourage others to write trip reports too – It’s nice to re-live everything as you write down what you remember and I know I will be re-reading this many times to come as I long for my next trip . . .
Also - I feel like to should take back what I said about kids ruining everything – that would be giving them too much credit – but they do make typing up a desire trip report kinda difficult.
And I’m done talking about the snow. Yes it f**king snowed again today. Probably because I broke down and plowed yesterday.
I think we’ve had like 3 feet of snow since we got back.
Dammit.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
So, where were we . . .
Drifting in and out. Total relaxation. . .
Naked in bed with my love.
Ocean waves and palm trees in the breeze just outside my door.
Who could ask for anything more . . .
What time is it? 6:30?? Is that too early for coffee? I mean, I am on vacation. . . supposed to sleep in, right? Nope, I guess not – ‘specially if I’m counting on a nap in the afternoon.
(you see, I already was planning on doing my “get ready for midnight shift” routine in order to better prepare for a long night of partying ahead. That, of course, means shortly after breakfast – have some drinks, drink until lunchtime, really, then sleep it off until dinner time and you’re good to party all night – plus: drinking in the morning is the best – it just keeps getting nicer outside . . .)
So, I nudged the missus and figured her mumbling meant she would like some coffee, too.
Oh how nice that ocean breeze feels on a naked body. Wait a minute and drink that in.
Remembering that I’d read one of the bars has the best coffee, I set out to see if the lobby bar is the bar with the best coffee.
It is.
I felt a little awkward being naked when all the employees were not. But I got over it – I have a hunch they’re used to pasty white naked Americans. (forgot to mention – we both went tanning for a month, 3 times a week – and were still the whitest folks there – we laughed)
Back on the balcony, waiting for Mrs Skeeter to wake up, enjoying my cappuccino with cinnamon sprinkles (yeah. . . that’s right … cappuccino, bitches) I noticed they were setting up some beach beds.
Oh yeah – I think getting coffee is when I realized that the clock in the room was set an hour fast. Which means when I woke up at 3AM – it was actually 2AM – could’ve went to the Jacuzzi. Oh, and when I went to get coffee at 6:30, it was actually 5:30. Dang I got up too early . . . No wonder the sun took so long to rise . . .
So, after waking up a bit, I think we wandered down to the pool and reserved a bed or 1PM – figuring that would be a good place for a post lunch, pre-party-like-a-rock-star nap.
I think maybe you’re not supposed to be able to reserve a bed like that far in advance – there was some language barrier and it was hard to tell – but we ended up with our reservation and it gave me some insight into what I think is a difference between Mexican and American culture that I’ve been having a hard time articulating, but it has to do with rules and policies and rigidity and flexibility and stuff. . .
(whoops, that train of thought just derailed my buzz – sorry about that . . .)
So, like, uh – morning, coffee, pool bed reserved . . . lets go get a beach bed . . .
We hooked up with the beach bed attendant and got our beach bed and prepared to take in some serious rays and waves. No sooner were we settled into our beach bed and soaking in some paradise when we were informed, “Mr and Mrs Skeeter – we are terribly sorry, but there’s been a horrible mix up and you must leave immediately.”
Just kidding . . . breakfast was ready.
It was yummy delicious-o – omellettes with sausage, and bacon, and toast and more coffee. And the jelly for the toast came in these cute little teeny tiny jars that we absolutely kept for souvenirs – one of our kids has this teeny tiny container fetish. So we figured we’d put Mexican beach sand in them. . .
After breakfast, we went back to our beach bed and lounged for what seemed like an appropriate amount of time. We adjusted from “just got here” to “gonna be here for awhile”. Swimming in the ocean was divine. They do a really good job raking the seaweed up off the beach. We spent a liberal amount of time applying sunscreen to every nook and cranny – which was certainly fun.
And then – DRINKS!
I’ll be honest – the rest of this day is a bit of a blur – I’ll only say what I’m kinda sure of:
Lunch was awesome – took full advantage of the buffet this time (the previous day was a mopey, “guess I’ll eat cuz I have to, why am I not in the pool yet” kinda lunch) but this time it was oooh! Calamari? Oh my! Salmon!!! I love Salmon!!! TUNA!!! HOLY SHIT WE REALLY ARE ON THE OCEAN AREN’T WE!!!
FYI – the habanero salsa is REALLY hot!
There was a chef that would cook fajitas and burgers and I’m not sure what else - we never felt the need to employ his services because the rest of the food was just so good. . . with no waiting! (the burgers did look really awesome, though . . .)
I absolutely loved the desserts – they were served in these little shot glass looking things – just the perfect size . . . oh, how I could go on about the food . . .
And so we ate until nap time.
I tried to nap at the pool – but just couldn’t. Drank plenty of agua and enjoyed some “eyes-closed” time but I think my brain was like – you ain’t gonna waste this sleepin? Are ya??
So we chilled by the pool until I’m not sure – I think we tried out the Jacuzzi in our room after that.
To be honest – the passion suite was REALLY nice – but I don’t think I’d plan on using the Jacuzzi. . . It was nice, but it was obviously a “Jacuzzi” and not a “Jacuzzi tub” which meant when you drain it, water pools in certain areas. It was meant to be full of water all the time with water circulating. Not that we cared – not like we payed for it . . . The jets didn’t work in our tub (well, if they did, I couldn’t figure out how to turn them on *and* we had a button that did nothing . . .) I figured maybe that’s why we got upgraded to that room . . .
Anyhow – we enjoyed a nice cool, jetless, Jacuzzi – (I’m leaving the dirty parts out, you pervs!)
And I think we relaxed on the beach until roof top Jacuzzi time.
And we had some more drinks and met and re-met some folks. And it was divine. Time and alcohol have already made the memories blend – so some of this may not be accurate . . .
For dinner, we forgot to make reservations, which meant we would be eating at the buffet – which had an asian theme for the evening. The food was excellent and one of my all time most favorit-est memories of all time from the whole trip of all time was trying to eat with chop sticks, sharing a plate of stir fry, while sitting across from Mrs Skeeter in her low, low cut dress. Oh my, did she look good.
And that, friends, is what pure joy feels like.
Afterwards, we found our way to the lobby bar and waited for the evening’s entertainment. A cover band – local? Maybe – not exactly sure. With a full belly, I tried to pace myself on the drinks – I figured we had a long night ahead of us yet.
The band started out kinda “meh” but they quickly earned my respect when they busted out some classic 70’s disco/funk and they really sealed the deal with a Queen medley – it takes real balls to try to sing Freddy Mercury and they did an excellent job (best recognize the title of this trip report)
And so, we found our way up to the disco. Had a few drinks and watched the “rock and roll” contest which was a good ice breaker – because I ended up dancing afterwards. And I don’t dance. . . EVER. . . And I danced with my baby – and I noticed our ambassador friends from California were dancing near us – and I thought, I think maybe they like us. And now I’ll point out that I may be the only person alive to have “head-banged” at the Desire RM Disco.
(I noticed when we left that the bartenders noticed, anyway . . .)
And we peeked in the sin room and we saw what we thought we’d see in there. Better put that on the list . . .
But we were hot and sweaty from dancing and thought some fresh air would be nice – so we went to the balcony off the disco and met some smokers.
Which was a little challenging for me – as part of my justification for the trip expense was that I had quit smoking. But it turned out to be a tremendous amount of fun. And the urges to bum smokes were totes manageable.
We met some folks who were originally from Lithuania (AWESOME accents). And also some folks from Chile. And our Californian friends joined us too.
We almost accidentally started talking about politics once – but I saw that shit coming and I was like NOPE! Not on my vacation!
After a wonderful conversation on the balcony, we all headed to the lobby bar for some infamous pizza and BLT’s.
The pizza and blt’s were pretty good – but maybe a little overhyped. This is also the part of the vacation where I realized maybe we are spoiled living in what is essentially northern Wisconsin – dairy land. Where pizza normally has, like, a 3/8” thick layer of cheese (unless its little sleazers, of course).
Also, an observation was shared with Californian insight that the pizza chef was, quite possibly, the world’s most angry looking person. Bear in mind – he wasn’t actually angry – just angry looking. I’d venture to say that he has some mayan ancestry and you JUST DON’T f**k WITH MAYANS.
After we ate, the men in the group tried to steer the party towards the Jacuzzi, but the women in the group were sleepy,so . . . you know what that means. . .
We slept great.
On the pillows of the gods.
On the ocean.
In Mexico
So so far away it might as well be Saturn.