How do I talk the wife into going ??

[gibor]

Could somebody give us a link with such cruises?

Here are the ones coming up for 2017
http://www.chartravel.com/cruises

Did you take such cruise? Were curious to know how is different from Desire?

[bmerryman]

I was turning 60 and my wife was turning 50 in the same year. This was my approach:

1. About one year in advance I suggested we do something totally out of the box for a trip for her birthday. I told her we need to proof to us we are still young and wild.
2. About 8 months in advance I suggested an adults only resort, no kids around, maybe one that has a topless optional beach.
3. about 6 months in advance I started telling her about Desire, how its totally optional, excellent food, unlimited drinks and fun fun fun.
4. When it was time to book the trip, I said "It's your birthday gift, we can go anywhere you want", just name the place.
5. She suggested looking into Desire a little more, so I say "well, ok, if that's what you want"
6. She agreed to book 4 nights there to try it, which I knew she would, she's a free-spirit willing to try anything.

I booked it on her birthday, made the whole trip all about her, but I enjoyed it probably more. Before the 4 nights were over she suggested we come back for 7 or 8 nights. We go in April 2017 for 7 nights.

[two4funinpa]

Before the 4 nights were over she suggested we come back for 7 or 8 nights. We go in April 2017 for 7 nights.

Everyone says that! We made our arrangements for our second trip on the plain on the way home from our first. Now we do our best to go every year.

[Explorer79]

Same here, after our first trip, on the day we got back we booked the second trip a mere 6 weeks after the first. Now we are booked for our 3rd trip in May. If we can manage another in the fall that would be going from zero trips to 4 trips in a year's time which I think would make us certifiable Desire addicts, or at least certifiable

[Lkncouple]

The first time I suggested it, it may have been the biggest fight we ever had in our 25 years of marriage. After she cooled down, and I ensured her that we would not swing, and it that it was clothing "Optional", meaning if we did not want to take our clothes off, we wouldn't have to. I had her look into it further, and I had her look at this site. I think for her she was really concerned about a couple of things, was she going to be pressured to swap partners, was there going to be unwanted advances, was she going to have the "Worst" body there. After coming to this site, she felt better about going. After lots of discussion, we agreed to give it a try. We have gone 3 times, and are planning to go again next year.

My advice is that I would bring it up and plan lots of communication.

[Explorer79]

My advice is that I would bring it up and plan lots of communication.

This, this and more this, especially if you are coming from vanilla world which was the case for us. Desire was the first time for us being naked in public or doing anything sexual (even kissing) with others. For us it was a mutual decision, no convincing needed on either side, however it is such a huge difference from what you are accustomed to in the real world that truly being on the same page is crucial. #1 job is to protect the relationship. It really is true what they say that this can be a big magnifying glass. If everything is solid the experience can really be life changing in a very positive way, I can imagine if things aren't solid or if there are differing expectations it could result in catastrophe.

[Cpl du Nord]

I agree with what other couples have said. I will also add a female perspective of someone who was in a similar place, but has now been to Pearl 4 times, and can't wait for trip 5. Usually my husband posts here, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to convert another couple.

First, I agree that you cannot persuade her to go. It must be her decision. I was reluctant at first, but then I decided "why not give it a try". What I found is that Desire is a classy upscale clothing optional resort.The atmosphere is sensual, but no one is pushy. While you will see many lifestyle couples, you will see just as many non-lifestyle couples. It is entirely what you want it to be. On our first trip, we were not in the lifestyle and met 3-4 wonderful couples. We never felt any pressure, but only openness, friendliness, and fun.

Clothing optional can be a daunting concept, so maybe try something small first. Well before we took our first trip to Desire, I agreed to spend a weekend at a B&B that had a clothing optional pool area in Key West. This seemed like a low commitment and meant a lot to my husband. So I agreed to give it a try. That trip was good because it was my first exposure (hehe) to the idea and allowed me to move into it at my own pace (starting topless, etc). After that trip I went back to "normal life", but the experience was in the back of my mind. When it came time to book a spring vacation, I mentioned Desire to my husband. We joke that there was a trail of smoke to the computer because he moved so fast.

Taking off clothes in front of a lot of people is hard. But everyone is on equal grounds when they are naked. Some people are in crazy great shape, many are not. When you realize that, you start to relax. My self-confidence has climbed a lot since our first trip because I have come let go of all the body issue crap.

I also love the place because I feel that women are treated so so well. At the pool or jacuzzi, men are happy to get drinks for ladies, help them in or out of the pool. Women get advantages in the pool games. At formal dinners and at the disco, women are constantly getting complimented on how beautiful they look. Every time I go, I feel that I am treated as royalty.

I could go on and on, but the most positive impact has been to our marriage. We now love our "secret life", and have a lot of fun with it. The key is to ensure that you both have expectations/fears/concerns laid out on the table well in advance of any trip like this. Communicate, communicate, communicate with each other. Before we went on our first trip, we went out on a "date" night specifically to discuss this. We each typed up what we wanted out of the trip, what we were afraid of, and what boundaries we had (note - boundary discussion is important). Four trips later, we are closer than we have been in all of our 15 years of marriage.

Cheers - and hope to see you there!

[Explorer79]

Beautifully stated and it mirrors our feelings very closely, especially about how women are treated and the positive impact on our marriage, the magnifying glass is real

[landw2]

Could somebody give us a link with such cruises?

Here are the ones coming up for 2017
http://www.chartravel.com/cruises

Did you take such cruise? Were curious to know how is different from Desire?

We have been to Desire Cabo twice (when it was still open) and now on 6 lifestyle cruises. Some love the resorts, others love the cruise so let me try to summarize the differences:

Desire: Fewer couples at any one time Cruises: 1400 couples so a lot more people at any one time
Desire: People come and go throughout the week Cruises: Everyone is there for the full week so no new people coming and going
Desire: Fixed location (resort and beach) Cruises: 2-3 ports during the week with various excursions. Some excursions are clothing optional.
Desire: Some activities planned during the day Cruises: Lot of activities and seminars. Meets and Greets daily
Desire: One night club Cruises: Several venues every night with various clubs and a show
Desire: Drinks included Cruises: Drinks a la cart or purchase a drink package for the week the runs about $500 per person
Desire: No casino Cruises: Casino on board
Desire and Cruises: Mix of couples range in age from 30's - 60's (saw a few 70's). Levels of sexuality ranges from full/soft swap, nudists and couples that just want to experience as sexy vacation.

Cost of a cabin with a balcony on a lifestyle cruise is typically $4,000 for a couple for 7 nights. Toss in a night or two in a hotel prior to the cruise. Do not plan to arrive the day the cruise departs or you run a good chance of missing boarding time closure.

We do love our cruises! But Desire is a great alternative.

Google Swinger Cruises or Lifestyle cruises to find out which ones are coming up. They usually are listed a year in advance and the Bliss for November 2018 was just opened. Some sell out quickly while others (because there are more than there use to be) have some openings the week of the cruise. But beware, the best cabins go very early.

[Beach girl]

Me, the wife being a little well a lot apprehensive agreed to two nights for our first visit then went to a vanilla resort for a week. We figured we could handle anything for two days. We had a great time. It was so much fun to put on a sexy outfit and go to to dinner. The smile on my husbands face spoke a thousand words. Next trip was four nights then eight nights ...you get the drift. If someone told me a few years ago I'd be at Desire I'd tell you that you had lost your mind. We all begin somewhere, but truth be said we are all sexual beings. Some of just need a little prodding to let our hair down. Hubby also left the room both nights to check out what the women were wearing so I wouldn't be afraid to step out the door with very little clothing on. That made evenings easier for me. I would be considered a very conservative "soccer mom" to our friends. Hope she goes because in reality it is fun to do something a little crazy once in a while. When we are home we do not go to swing clubs or anything like that. We reserve the "crazy" stuff only for Desire. If she would like to pm us I'd happy to be very candid and answer any questions if that would help.

[JessicaDaniel]

I suggest starting slower. Go to Hidden Beach, Club Orient, or another Nude resort first, to get her comfortable with being naked first.