Etiquette on watching

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Etiquette on watching

Postby Love2TravelCouple » Fri May 29, 2026 1:29 am

My wife and I are planning on visiting Desire RM later this year. We ended up choosing RM over Pearl, even though we’re probably not the typical “party” type. This will actually be our first time doing anything like this.

Over the years, we’ve discovered that my wife really enjoys watching and also enjoys the idea of being watched. Funny enough, we first realized this about 5–6 years ago during a trip to San Diego. We were staying at the Bahia Resort and took a late-night walk along the beach. We came across a couple on a ground-level patio right off the sidewalk. The guy was sitting in a chair while she was straddling him, and they were fully into the moment. They couldn’t have been more than 15 feet away, so there was definitely no missing what was going on.

I immediately kept walking and acted like I didn’t notice anything… meanwhile my wife literally stopped and watched for a solid minute before I finally pulled her along. Afterward, we talked about it and realized she genuinely enjoyed the experience of watching.

So my question is about etiquette at Desire RM. If you come across people playing or being intimate, is the expectation to just glance and keep moving? Or is it generally acceptable to stop for a bit and enjoy the view/action as long as you’re being respectful and not intrusive?
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Re: Etiquette on watching

Postby travmex » Fri May 29, 2026 7:56 am

I think it’s generally a bit rude to stand and stare in these circumstances. Some couples may not mind, but you have no way of knowing. So just look by all means but keep moving. There are plenty of ‘legitimate’ opportunities to look at more length without stopping and staring. In the sin room or around hot tub, although the latter maybe more at Pearl than RM.
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Re: Etiquette on watching

Postby IrishMark » Fri May 29, 2026 11:44 am

I think it depends on the situation. If it’s me, please go ahead and watch, my wife it depends on her desire at the moment.
Depending on your personality, I think Pearl may be a better fit. I love RM and I’m able to go “all in” but my wife feels more comfortable at Pearl. I find we make better connections at Pearl than RM. but then I met some really good people at the quiet pool at RM. the loud pool is too busy and i found it more challenging to connect. Pearl had a good balance. For me it’s a tough one, each have their difference’s. Party me wants RM. chilled out me like pearls. We made loved for all to watch at both. We’re hoping to go in July but having a room issue. Now I just want to go and have fun. Either way you and your partners are winners. I love this place. Peace and love. Peace and love
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Re: Etiquette on watching

Postby Yeipi » Fri May 29, 2026 1:40 pm

I always think this: if you go to a place like Desire and also have sex in public, you have to understand there is always the possibility of having someone watching you and also the possibility of someone wanting to watch you. So as long as you manage some discretion, you should be fine. Don't order popcorn and beers to sit and watch the show :mrgreen:

One of the most exciting experiences we've had at RM was related to this topic. It was our last afternoon there, we had to get ready to go to the airport but we decided to stop by the beach beds, mid afternoon, so there were just a few people there so we went for our last sex session :mrgreen: It was a quicky but sexy one and when we were done I noticed a guy just a few steps from us, smoking his cigarette while he was watching us. I really liked it because I knew he was having fun looking at my beautiful wife having sex :D
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Re: Etiquette on watching

Postby IrishMark » Fri May 29, 2026 4:38 pm

To add to that, at RM in the old spa section we stayed late after check out and went to the beach and then showered and changed in the old spa area. When we were showering another couple came to shower and when we got out to dry off, we had sex in there and the other came out of the shower and were just cool when they got out. We stopped because my wife was nervous but they didn’t mind. It was hot.

Side note, why do we guys love other men watching our wives get banged by us? Is it because our wives are sexy to us, is it the thrill of being watched, is it the hot wifing concept??
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Re: Etiquette on watching

Postby ninaandfrank » Sun May 31, 2026 11:23 pm

Mark makes some great points. Context is everything. You'll learn to recognize when a couple (or moresum for that matter) doesn't mind the audience or even wants an audience. Albeit, the latter isn't as prevalent as it used to be. As far as my beloved and I; if we wanted privacy; we would go back to our guest room. Full disclosure, we don't and won't. In general, if you are sitting in the Jacuzzi or at the bar in front of the Jacuzzi; it isn't wrong to watch the fun on the beds. Just be respectful. Don't gawk or stare and always pay as much attention to who you are with as you do to any show that may be going on. That level of comfort and positivity is contageous. The play room is slightly different. It comes across as weird if you are just standing their in front of the beds watching. However, if you are playing and at the same time watching otherss; it may be acceptable. Again, practice discretion. Try not to stay in the playroom unless you are actively playing. It is a smaller space and not really suitable for spectators. Watching couples in other places requires much more discretionn. Since the rules officially prohibit such activities in most areas except the aforementioned ones; many couples won't want any attention while they are playing. Honestly, for your first visit, err on the side of caution and eventually experience will guide you in time. With all of that said, you may be over-thinking this. PDA is only a fraction of what it used to be so it may not be much to stress about. I wish you a wonderful first trip and many more.
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