Should I or Shouln't I ?

[Kman&LadyDi]

Well here goes nuttin..... Have put together an all inclusive trip to Mexico for LadyDi and myself.
Was to be a suprise as to where south we were going but my tongue fell out one day and blabbed Mexico.
Now the Question is should I tell her where in Mexico?
The Dilema is we have never gone to a clothing optional resort before. We are both young fiftiers. (I am just immature) LOL. We are both very sexual, not swingers (yet) but highly charged . She has a great sense of humour and a very open mind. From what I have read people at these resorts are a cut above on the respect and non judgemental level.
We are counting the days till lift off. I am still wanting to surprise her but am open to other opinions.
Thanks

[mikeinnj]

I wouldn't surprise my wife.

Besides which, she may want to participate in things like theme night, which require a little pre-planning.

Just my 2 cents

[CokeMann]

Given that neither of you have been to a clothing optional resort or one that is lifestyle friendly I would strongly suggest that you tell her right now !

Over the years we have seen too many of these "surprise" trips turn out badly - usually very badly for the couple and with the resultant drama involved it also becomes a downer for the rest of guests at the resort while they are there.

Get her clued in and have her get on the forum - if she has concerns post them here - there are lots of ladies on here that will answer her !!!!

[Beach girl]

From a woman's perspective I would want to know. The dress "code" is much different at Desire than a regular resort. Half the fun is shopping for outfits and having a private fashion show for your hubby. I would feel out of place with "vanilla" outfits at Desire.

[youme69]

Put me down as one that witnessed the surprise angle, ended very very bad! She sounds very open minded so there shouldn't be a problem. Part of the fun is the build up, don't deprive her of that. You'll have a vacation of a lifetime.

[LetsH4veCoffee]

+1 on telling her. I'm sure you two will have a great time and make a ton of great friends and memories. DP has a unique ability to create an even more honest and deep connection between couples in my opinion, and while I really do get wanting to surprise her ... in this case, be up front and tell her how great it will be. As someone else mentioned, part of the fun is getting ready for the trip anyway. Heck, put her on the forum to read some great trip reviews. Might even make make the anticipation more fun for both of you.

[Kman&LadyDi]

Wow!
Real eye opener.... Again ,maturity and experience trumps all.
After all the response I plan on sharing all the upcoming details of our trip to Desire Pearl.
Thanks to the ladies for their concerns from a ladies point of view and thanks to the gentleman for the reality check
I plan on sharing info on Valentines Day evening.
I will definitely share this forum with her. Amasing info for anyone contemplating this adventure in life.
I hope some reading this will be there when we are. My lady is the nicest (is that a word?) most personable women I have ever known (French heritage )need I say more.
Cheers

[desireaddict]

Given that neither of you have been to a clothing optional resort or one that is lifestyle friendly I would strongly suggest that you tell her right now !

OMG! What a f*cking mistake! OK.....that's JMHO.

My wife would have freaked out if I had secretly booked us at Desire without her in agreement.
Our first C/O trip was to Couples. Very "vanilla" as compared to Desire. It was still quite an adjustment.
Then it was a "negotiated" trip to Hedo III.
After the ice breakers, it has resulted in us going to Hedo III many other times and to Desire many, many times too. (Like 30 total between both.)

To have done that 1st trip without giving her the chance to have some input would have been a serious mistake.
Hope you took out "cancel for any reason" trip insurance!!

Hopefully you've been married to this lady for a long time and are confident this isn't a major f*ck-up.

Good luck.
Life is Good!
DA

Edited:
I started my response prior to your decision to tell her, but your reply posted first. Good Idea!!!!
By approaching it that way, I think you have the opportunity to get her "on board".
She can read the reviews here and places like Trip Advisor and see the overwhelming number of positive results.
The fact that you considered this kind of surprise trip hopefully means that you know your lady is likely to respond positively to the idea.
If doing this was your attempt to encourage a complete change it attitude for her, then you're going about it all wrong.
I'm sure we're all anxious to hear how it goes tomorrow.
If she's scared, have her post questions here or even PM to others.
My wife would give her the total "thumbs up" and try to calm any fears.

Plus, she would miss out on half the fun if she wasn't able to shop for the themes.
My wife's shopping make the cost of the actual trip seem cheap in comparison!
Ya gotta love it!
Life is Good!

[Budlee]

I hope the OP will come back to the forum and tell us how it went, when he told his wife.

Here's another vote in support of cluing your wife in....a woman definitely packs differently for a CO resort like Pearl than they would for any other all-inclusive in Mexico. As someone mentioned, packing for theme nights is key, but not only THAT! My daytime cover-ups to throw on for Aphrodite, my nighttime "dresses" that I wouldn't be caught dead in at home but that work perfectly for pearl, etc....

Not that I wouldn't have loved the surprise, just that I would have been woefully unprepared, had I packed for a regular resort.

[David Donna]

All right Kman. Valentine's Day has come and gone. We are all waiting to hear the results of your disclosure. Which we all, or at least, most of us, think you should do, prior to your trip to the Pearl. We have witnessed a non-disclosure trip, and as Cokeman has mentioned, was not only a terrible vacation for the couple involved, but a bucket of cold water on others at the resort.
Minus 27C right now in Ontario. Still 3 months to our next trip to the Pearl. Counting the days.....

[Kman&LadyDi]

OMG!!!
The trip is off
She took the roses and has filed for divorce . .
No seriously all went well . I want to say thanks to all who shared their opinions on this matter. It was definitely the right choice to make to share the trip info beforehand . Now not to say the normal apprehension isn't still their on the C/O resort choice but by the end of the day she even eluded to bringing more suntan lotion than normal LOL.
As I said to her I have planned this for month+ . I have already experienced the butterflies she is feeling but through research and 100's of hours on trip adviser and now this fantastic forum I am excited and rarin to go ( ya I'll be the one hiding behind the bushes ). I told her to look over the sites I did and I will keep my trap shut.
Oh by the way she showed me a new pair of PJ's valentines evening . I think they will look great on one of the theme nights.
To close this down I just want to say i (we) look forward to making new friends and lasting memories . Oh and I noticed a post on here from a farmer in ontario. The Mrs just rolled her eyes . She says you'll find him first thing and you' guys will never shut up.
Kman and Lady Di

[LetsH4veCoffee]

Good for you Kman. My prediction: It will easily be one of the best vacations you two have ever had, and you'll be counting the days until you can do it a second, third, fourth time, etc. Give us a trip report and let us all know how it went.

[Travelcouple89]

Congratulations on the successful V-day reveal Kman. And I have to agree with LetsH4veCoffee, I think you guys are in for quiet a treat that you will want to repeat over and over! Enjoy!

[DnL2]

Glad to hear your Valentines Day went well. We were thinking about you and hoping for the best!

[bluewatercpl]

After all of this I think that we need a trip report!