not in the lifestyle

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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby sandybeachkim » Sun Mar 13, 2016 7:19 am

Interesting posts by others - We are in the "lifestyle" although we do not like that confining word or description. We are selective in our play partners as we prefer getting to know someone first, connecting at levels beyond just sex and then if all that works, then sure, slipping between the sheets together is great.

We are not shy about speaking about our preferences or shy about asking others but we do so in a tactful way and we expect others to do the same with us. No matter whether you are in the lifestyle, nudism or the plain vanilla world, nobody likes pushy people that cannot demonstrate some sense of class and manners.

That is why we enjoy Desire. Our trip last year was interesting, fun and we meet a good group of people. Our message is very simple, just connect in a polite way and all is good.

Cheers -- The Sandy's
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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby max4play » Mon Mar 14, 2016 8:21 am

sandybeachkim wrote: Our message is very simple, just connect in a polite way and all is good.

Cheers -- The Sandy's

:L
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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby feverpair2015 » Mon Mar 14, 2016 2:47 pm

sandybeachkim wrote:Our message is very simple, just connect in a polite way and all is good.


:L :L Completely agree.

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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby mrstommer » Mon Mar 14, 2016 5:13 pm

KISS---keep it simple.....yes. Polite and respectful....

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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby chiwolve » Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:37 pm

BellaSol wrote:Feverpair, I apologise, as I meant to respond to the OP, and was confused as to who that was after so many replies, it being chicagopair and not you. No matter what, I'm just hoping that there's room for all when we go, and that all can be comfortable, wherever they come from, or how they might define themselves. We are new to Pearl, so we have some uncertainties, I wasn't trying to imply that you might:) it was a light-hearted well wishing for anyone going who might, and support sent from MI!!:) and im already formuating sassy responses for any pushy men at dinner who might have their penis in hand!!!...Again, apologise for the mixup with the tag...

BellaSol, thanks for the thoughtful answer. The idea of labeling people is constraining. Nevertheless we are new and we are curious, and we don't know where this will lead. It can be intimidating, but I also suspect that not everyone we meet at Desire will be as kind, respectful and understanding as the crowd that seems to traffic this message board.

It has been interesting to hear that even experienced couples have had some less than desirable experiences, per this thread. There is a LS glow party in Chicago next month which will be our first taste of anything like this, but we can leave that and be home in 20 minutes if we want. Desire has us for 4 nights! Hopefully we can get to know and share some laughs with other couples, and see where that takes us.

I echo Mrs. Chicagoan69's sentiments and thanks for the advice and willingness of everyone to share their thoughts and stories with us. We can't wait to get there!
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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby ksr » Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:43 am

So many great posts. I had to go back and read the original post to remember the question. Great people and great fun in a liberating environment. We have yet to meet a couple that we did not like or enjoy spending time with. We just talk, your desires and theirs will surface during the conversation. We love the conversations and stories that we have heard. Good luck!
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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby Mariaandtony » Wed Mar 16, 2016 8:45 am

MarNRob,

Sorry to hear about your experience. Maria and I arrive at Pearl this Friday morning for our 6th visit in under 3 years and we can honestly say that we have never had such an experience. A couple of times we've been asked "do we play?" in a friendly and non-intrusive way and absolutely no issue when we politely said no...and it sure didn't stop us from talking to and having a few drinks with the two couples during our stay.

Don't let the experience affect you wanting to return ..I'm sure most on this site, LS'er's and non-LS'ers will agree you've had an unfortunate and rare experience.

Feel free to reach out through private message if you want to continue the conversation and/or ask questions.

Tony (and Maria)

:CAN
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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby tuckerandzoe » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:17 pm

sandybeachkim wrote:Interesting posts by others - We are in the "lifestyle" although we do not like that confining word or description. We are selective in our play partners as we prefer getting to know someone first, connecting at levels beyond just sex and then if all that works, then sure, slipping between the sheets together is great.

We are not shy about speaking about our preferences or shy about asking others but we do so in a tactful way and we expect others to do the same with us. No matter whether you are in the lifestyle, nudism or the plain vanilla world, nobody likes pushy people that cannot demonstrate some sense of class and manners.

That is why we enjoy Desire. Our trip last year was interesting, fun and we meet a good group of people. Our message is very simple, just connect in a polite way and all is good.

Cheers -- The Sandy's


:L :L Well said, we are very similar which is why we enjoy the atmosphere at Desire so much. Recent converts from TTR!
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Re: not in the lifestyle

Postby Voluptuous54F » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:05 pm

We are not in the lifestyle. Didn't have any issue with anyone being rude or difficult ever at RM or DP. On our last night on one visit, we did get together with a couple quite unexpectedly and it was very relaxed and lovely. We hadn't done anything like that together before, but we both had lives before our getting together. I suggest you don't worry about it. In our case, we didn't exclude it but we didn't look for it and went with it. No regrets and was grist for fantasies and interesting sex talk later.
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